Thank God Somebody Finally Figured Out What is Wrong with the UT Football Team

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Short Answer:  They suck!

For an in depth analysis for the ultimate sports geek, please turn to SB Nation which runs through a myriad of statistics and graphical analyses to come up with a precise answer as to why the Longhorns have underperformed over the last 5 years.  And the answer is – They suck! 

To illustrate the Longhorns’ suckiness, SB Nation presents exciting and allegedly meaningful visual aids such as –

Not to mention insightful analysis like –

And if that doesn’t get you excited about the upcoming season, try –

And if you haven’t fallen asleep – Hook ’em.

Texas Pool Seeks Historic Designation

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A Texas shaped pool in Plano (conveniently named Texas Pool) is seeking to be designated as a Texas Historical Landmark according to the Dallas Morning News.    In Texas, a great pool is an historic landmark.  Some of Red’s fondest memories are of hot summer days spent at the local pool completely wasting time with friends while his grandmother patiently kept watch under the aluminum awning on what must have been an incredibly uncomfortable set of bleachers.  If you are in Plano or the environs consider getting a membership at the Texas Pool.  Doing a watermelon off the one meter board into the Panhandle seems irresistible to Red.

Fifty-four years after the Texas Pool’s opening, its board of directors is working to make the pool a Texas historical landmark. Built in 1960 and opened the following year, the 168,000-gallon saltwater pool shaped like Texas has for decades served as a community hub in the Plano suburbs from May to September.

Even though they have not yet confirmed whether theirs is the first Texas-shaped pool, the Texas Pool’s proponents remain convinced it is unique and worthy of historic designation. They say the pool is a remnant of the historic 1950s growth of suburbs that had fueled population growth around the outskirts of Dallas decades ago.

The Texas Pool “is a recapturing of those slow mellow days we’ve lost in our technological race for success,” said Janet Moos, Texas Pool Foundation CEO. “It’s been frozen in time in many ways.”

The Texas Pool wouldn’t be the first pool to be deemed an official historic site. In Austin, the Deep Eddy Pool is listed in the National Register of Historic Places as the oldest pool in Texas, along with the Barton Springs Pool.

For a site to be granted historic designation, its proponents must prove the site is at least 50 years old, maintains structural integrity and has historical significance. The Texas Pool board in particular needs to prove its pool is uniquely noteworthy compared to other Texas-shaped pools and that the pool was part of a historical trend, said Gregory Smith, National Register coordinator for the Texas Historical Commission.

Moos is currently collaborating with the pool’s historian, Cynthia Caton, to search for and compile any historical background about the pool. They say there is no written history for the pool and they lack details about who built the pool and other key players in the pool’s history. They are asking anyone with historical connections to the pool to reach out to them as they compile applications for historical designation. “It really is a matter of finding the right person,” Caton said.

Countdown to Jade Helm, Cont. – Or How Obama is Coming to Take Away our Women, Children and Most Importantly Guns

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Conservative Paranoia over Jade Helm has not subsided according to a recent article in the Washington Post.   For some reason Bastrop continues to be the epicenter for the conspiracy theorist wackos convinced that Obama is coming for them – as if he didn’t have more important things on his plate.  Anyhow, the stalwarts of the Bastrop Republican Party apparently remains convinced that they have but days to live in a free society before the jack booted thugs (read U.S. Military) of the Federal government crack down.  Fortunately, not everyone in Bastrop is bat shit crazy.

The office of the Bastrop County Republican Party is in an old lumber mill on Main Street, with peeling brown paint and a sign out front that captures the party’s feelings about the Obama administration: “WISE UP AMERICA!”

Inside, county Chairman Albert Ellison pulled out a yellow legal pad on which he had written page after page of reasons why many Texans distrust President Obama, including the fact that, “in the minds of some, he was raised by communists and mentored by terrorists.”

So it should come as no surprise, Ellison said, that as the U.S. military prepares to launch one of the largest training exercises in history later this month, many Bastrop residents might suspect a secret Obama plot to spy on them, confiscate their guns and ultimately establish martial law in one of America’s proudly free conservative states.

They are not “nuts and wackos. They are concerned citizens, and they are patriots,” Ellison said of his suspicious neighbors. “Obama has really painted a portrait in the minds of many conservatives that he is capable of this sort of thing.”

Across town at the Bastrop County Courthouse, such talk elicits a weary sigh from County Judge Paul Pape, the chief official in this county of 78,000 people. Pape said he has tried to explain to folks that the exercise, known as Jade Helm 15, is a routine training mission that poses no threat to anyone. . . . “I’m sensitive to the fact that some of our Bastrop residents are concerned, and I’m confident that they are very sincere about their concerns,” Pape said. “But how did we get to this point in our country?”

How indeed?

Today in Texas History – July 6

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From the Annals of Fraternity –  In 1861, the Order of the Sons of Hermann in the State of Texas was founded.  Two representatives of the National Grand Lodge came to San Antonio to organize Harmonia Lodge No. 1 – the first such lodge in Texas.  San Antonio was a likely spot for a new lodge because of the many Germans who had immigrated to central Texas after 1845.  In 1890, the Texas Grand Lodge was established and included the original Harmonia Lodge as well as seven other newly formed lodges in Austin, Taylor, Temple, Waco, La Grange, Brenham, and Houston. . Within a year ninety-two more lodges were formed.  By 1920, the Order of the Sons of Hermann in Texas was financially stronger and had more members than all of the lodges in the rest of the United States.  As a result, the Texas order separated from the national order. Originally all of the members were of German extraction, but by 1965 only about half were, and by 1994 membership was open to all ethnic groups.

Ted Cruz Speaks – Red Translates

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Cruz was nearly apoplectic in the face of the Supreme Court’s latest upholding of the Affordable Care Act.

“Our government was designed to be one of laws [only those made by Republicans of course], not of men [screw the women],” Sen. Cruz said. “And this transparent distortion is disgraceful [contrary to what I believe]. These justices are not behaving as umpires calling balls and strikes[unless they are following the Tea Party agenda and I approve]. They have joined a team [the Communist, Socialist Liberal Democrats], and it is a team that is hurting Americans across this country[Despite the undisputed evidence of reasonable economic and job growth after my party damn near killed the economy]. Obamacare [never call it by its real name] is the biggest job killer in America [if I say so] Millions of Americans have lost their jobs [please don’t ask for evidence – just trust me here], have been forced into part-time work [largely because they wanted to be able to work part-time and still have health insurance – but those are inconvenient facts that you should obviously ignore because I do], have lost their health insurance [and got better insurance –  again ignore], have lost their doctors [I mean literally lost them – they have simply disappeared and cannot be found]. Millions of Americans have seen their health insurance premiums skyrocket [and by that I mean they have increased at a much lower rate than before the ACA but I can’t really say that now can I?], and it is a direct result of President Obama [that Muslim Kenyan Socialist terrorist sympathizer], of Democrats [latter-day Communists] in the United States Congress, and of lawless judges [except for the authority granted to them by the US Constitution which I claim to revere except when inconveniently at odds with the facts] at the United States Supreme Court who have joined the team  [those Commies again] of the Obama administration [as opposed to my team of Tea Party wingnuts who wanted to destroy our healthcare system so that we could embarrass that Muslim Kenyan]. If those justices [I really dissed them by using lower case] want to become legislators [like me], I invite them to resign and run for office [preferably in Texas]. That’s the appropriate place to write laws [something I am to busy grandstanding to do]: on this floor [we keep the carpet reasonably clean], not from that courtroom.”

Should the Chair of the State Board of Education Believe in Public Education?

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Gov. Greg Abbott has appointed Donna Bahorich – a former communications director for Tea Party stalwart Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick – to chair the State Board of Education.  Bahorich home schooled her children before sending them to private high school.  She appears to have little or no experience with the public school system. Even some Republicans are questioning the choice.  Republican State Board member Thomas Ratliff has called the move a mistake.

“Public school isn’t for everybody, but when 94 percent of our students in Texas attend public schools I think it ought to be a baseline requirement that the chair of the State Board of Education have at least some experience in that realm, as a parent, teacher, something,”

Some are wondering why Abbott is kowtowing to the homeschooling lobby. Abbott vetoed Senate Bill 359, which would have allowed physicians to detain patients if they are deemed to be a risk to themselves or others, after it was opposed by the Texas Home School Coalition as an attack on parental rights.

Now Red believes that you should have the right to send your children to public or private school or homeschool them if you don’t think it will drive you nuts, but it seems that the Chair of the State Board of EDUCATION should have at least a passing familiarity with the system that educates the overwhelming majority of our youth.  Just saying.

Today in Texas History – June 26

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From the Annals of Democracy –  In 1928, the Democratic National Convention began in Houston at Sam Houston Hall.  It was the first nominating convention to be held in a Southern city since 1860 when the Democrats nominated Stephen Douglas.  The 1928 convention resulted in the nomination of  Gov. Alfred E. Smith of New York for President and Sen. Joseph Robinson of Arkansas for Vice President.   The Democrats were the first to nominate a Roman Catholic for President. The Texas delegation, led by Gov. Dan Moody strongly opposed Smith.  After Smith was nominated, they rallied against his anti-prohibition sentiment by fighting for a “dry” platform. Ultimately, the convention pledged “honest enforcement of the Constitution”.

Smith became the first Democrat since Reconstruction to lose more than one southern state in the general election, due to his “wet” stance, his opposition to the Ku Klux Klan, and his Catholicism.

Is Dan Patrick Advising Texas Officials to Ignore the Law of the Land?

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Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick (TP-Texas) apparently wants the advice of Attorney General Ken Paxton about the options available to state officials who have a “conflict of conscience” now that gay marriage has been legalized nationwide by the US Supreme Court.

“(The gay marriage ban) could be struck down or altered by our nation’s highest court,If that should happen, county clerks and justices of the peace could be forced to subjugate their sincerely held religious beliefs. The practical reality of this conflict will occur throughout the state.”

In his own letter Thursday, Paxton urged county clerks to hold off on issuing marriage licenses to gay couples until his office has had a chance to analyze any decision from the high court.

These officials and the County Clerks who issue marriage licenses take an oath of office to uphold the law.  Does this mean only laws they approve of?  Does this mean they can nullify the law based on their religious beliefs?  Do your jobs or step aside and let someone who will take over. Otherwise, let the lawsuits roll.

68% of Louisianans Can’t Be Wrong!

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Gov. Bobby Jindal is now the 13th announced GOP candidate for president in 2016.  Jindal currently sports a favorability rating of 32% in Louisiana.  Jindal has pursued a hard right-wing social conservative policy bashing gays and blaming his fiscal mismanagement of the state on the poorest in the Pelican state.  It seems unlikely that he could get re-elected as Governor, so what does he have to lose by launching a long-shot (currently polling at 1% behind “None of the Above”) bid for the White House. Perhaps our neighbors to the east are a bit smarter than Red gives them credit for.  Well, except for the fact that they put this incompetent fool in office in the first place.