Tag Archives: 2020 Election

Trump Begs – Red Translates

Red shares with you the latest from the daily onslaught of Trump campaign emails – with his usual translation for your EXCLUSIVE benefit. READ this today. DON’T WAIT. Act now and Red will match your reading pleasure. Let Red know that you stand with him. Okay, here goes:

“When children are [not in school] (you’ve got to wonder what the brilliant FOTUS actually said here – When children are not being taken hostage? – not being assaulted by school police?), they are missing more than just time in the classroom… (Absolutely correct – the US has gone almost 4 months without a school shooting – they are clearly missing the opportunity to dodge bullets) ”
– Melania Trump, First Lady of the United States

Friend,

Our First Lady is right (apparently really far right).

If schools around our Nation choose not to reopen soon (who knew we had so many sentient schools?), our children will miss so much more than just an education (see above) . The Invisible Enemy (okay people complained about my racist term for the virus so now I have a really clever new one – but the real invisible enemy would be my tax returns – good luck at ever seeing those) has already taken so much from our Country (I’ve obviously got to avoid talking about more than 100K that could have been prevented if I wasn’t such an imbecile – because it is so clear that I don’t give a shit about people and their silly little problems like unnecessary deaths. But what I really mean is that it has taken away my best shot at re-election) and we cannot allow it to take away our kids’ childhood too (soon they will be too old for even good ol’ Jeffrey Epstein).

As your President, I will not stand for that (I stand for the greater glorification of all things Donald J. Trump) America needs to get back on track (or my re-election is doomed).

It’s important that EVERY American (I almost choked on that one) comes together at a time like this to send a united message that SCHOOLS MUST RE-OPEN IN THE FALL (Again, my re-election comes first – the lives of your children are a such a small price to pay for another four years of my glorious leadership). I’m calling on YOU to make a public statement and add your name to stand with your President and our First Lady.

The Radical Left (the cancel everything party (Note from Red – Trump is apparently catching on to Red’s use of parentheses)) will try and keep our schools closed FOREVER (Where do I come up with this stuff? First, we claim that the schools are educating our children to by homo-loving Marxists and then I claim that Marxist homo-lovers want to keep the schools closed FOREVER – fortunately no one seems to pay attention to my BS). We need 1 MILLION signatures to show them where Real Americans (Democratic leftist pinkos need not apply) stand.

Thank you,

Donald J. Trump

Benedict Donald Wants Your Money

As Red has mentioned, the Greatest Con Man Who Has Ever Walked the Face of the Earth (aka Pres. Trump) somehow got Red’s email and now regularly – and by that Red means at least 5-6 times a day – sends an email begging for money. The typical email is filled to the brim with typical con man hype and Red finds it hard to believe that there is anyone who would fall for such utter bullshit. But then again, Trump – who clearly appears to be a traitor to our country – is still polling in the high 30’s, so as usual Red is behind the times. Here’s one of the latest most “con manny” emails with Red’s usual translation.

Friend (and by that I mean “mark”),

What I’m about to tell you is NOT public knowledge (except to the 5 million other marks who got this same email).

I am hosting a very important event soon (if I find time between rounds – maybe at the turn I can squeeze in 10 minutes) and I’ve requested that YOU (yes You) be my VIP guest. You’ve always been one of our TOP supporters, (despite having never given me a dime) so I’ve decided to do something extra special (Ivanka show the man what’s behind Curtain No. 1)…
 

I’ve unlocked an exclusive DOUBLE-ENTRY (see it’s like a game show) for YOU and YOU ONLY (and the 5 million)!
All you have to do is contribute ANY AMOUNT (but it had better be a lot) or more (a lot more) and you’ll automatically be entered TWICE to win a trip (yep, game show) to meet your favorite President (Lincoln’s dead so I’ll have to do) at my upcoming event (no mask required).

This offer is ONLY for you, Friend, so please DO NOT share this. (and if you are stupid enough to fall for this you probably won’t).

TRUMP PENCE MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN


Double-Entry: Unlocked. Meet President Trump. Contribute Now.

Remember, if you win (in addition to some lovely parting gifts),

  • We’ll cover your flight (a $500 value)
  • We’ll cover your stay at a very nice hotel (Trump Ramada Inn)
  • You’ll get VIP ACCESS (Virtually Ignored by President)
  • You’ll get to bring a guest of your choice (as long as she is young and hot)
  • And, you’ll even get to take a photo with me so we can remember it forever. (for a small additional charge).

This offer expires at 11:59 PM TONIGHT, Friend, so don’t wait until it’s too late.

Former Texas Judge Jumps Republican Ship

Former Texas Court of Criminal Appeals Judge and long time Republican office-holder, Elsa Alcala, has finally had enough.  Alcala who says she typically stays out of political discussion on social media apparently felt compelled to speak out regarding Trumph – the Insult Comic President’s latest racist rant.  On Facebook, Alcala denounced Trump as
“the worst president in the history of this country.”  Not holding back, the former judge indicated that Trump has an ideology of racism.

In an interview with Texas Lawyer, Alcala, who chose not to seek re-election in 2018, noted, “I have been thinking about this for years and I hoped things would get better but they never did. I did not want an ‘R’ next to my name anymore.”

Alcala also indicated that she would be voting in the Democratic primary in 2020 for the first time.

Quotes for the Day

“Texans aren’t interested in typical career politicians, like Sen. Cornyn, who sell them out to corporate donors and powerful special interest. During his 17 years in Washington, Cornyn’s true legacy is being Mitch McConnell’s ‘yes man,’ leading the efforts to shred protections for over 4.5 million Texans with preexisting conditions, and playing a critical role in pushing for a tax bill that added over $2 trillion to the national debt and threatens Medicare and Social Security all while enriching big corporations who have donated over $9 million dollars to him throughout his political career.”

MJ Hegar, Democratic Candidate for U.S. Senate.

“We are, I think, no longer the reliably red state we have been.We are at risk of turning purple. And if we don’t do our job, then we could turn blue in the coming years.”

Sen. John Cornyn.

In Cornyn’s amazing rise from District Court Judge in San Antonio, to Texas Supreme Court Justice, to Attorney General, to U.S. Senator, he has never lost a race . Cornyn was smart in benefitting from a distinguished and calm manner, hoovering up cash from right-wing donors, and riding a historic red tide that swept Texas beginning with George Bush’s election in 1988.  As long as he could outfox the other Republicans in his way, his general elections have been cakewalks.  But JC now seems worried about 2020 with Trumph – the Insult Comic President – on the ballot just over his name.  Will voters who reject Trump just keep on rejecting Republicans down the ballot with Big John first in line?   Cornyn spent his first few years in the Senate focused on critical issues like flag burning and promoting religious bigotry and he seemed fairly harmless.  But he is now part of the entrenched GOP power structure in DC and can be frequently seen licking the boots of Mitch McConnell when he is not praising the glorious leader.