Tag Archives: President Trump

An Economic Boom Trump Can Actually Take Credit For – Bomb Shelter Sales Exploding

Donald Trump has claimed credit for just about anything good that has happened with the economy over the last 9 months despite the lack of evidence that any of his policies have had any effect.  You might note that after years of denigrating the excellent unemployment numbers during Obama’s later years, Trump now claims them as his own.  Red believes that any administration gets too much credit or blame for the state of the economy and that the business cycle runs largely independent of executive policy (but not Federal Reserve action).  But there is one area of the Texas economy that Trump can take credit for – Bomb Shelter Sales are Booming (pun intended)! 

As reported by NY Mag, sales at Texas-based Rising S Bunkers are up 700% since Trump was elected. Rising S (which is short for Rising Son – or Jesus) was largely in the more mundane storm shelter business but has transitioned into up-scale bunkers for well-to-do survivalists because – you know –  Jesus likes him some wealthy paranoiacs.  RSB manufacturers its bunkers in the Dallas area, but sales are worldwide.  With the rising tension in N. Korea, Japan is a hot market right now.

Owner Clyde Scott makes his sales pitch which sounds very much like predicting an impending Trumpocalypse.

“We are the longest living government in the history of the world without a complete collapse, the United States. It’s our time.”

Rising S’s basic bunker costs $125,000 – a bit out of Red’s price range right now.  And Red isn’t going to buy just any bunker – he is going to insist on having Pepper Spray Portals and Custom Cabinets.   Until Red can afford that, he’ll just have to head to the hills and hope for the best.

 

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Red Translates – Trump’s UN Speech

Welcome to New York – my hometown.  A place where we used to pack a bunch of stinky foreigners like you into ghettos.  Those were the days.

Since my election, everything in the U.S. is just going great guns.  All those statistics that I used to mock like the unemployment rate and the stock market boom – well, those are all true and accurate since I became President and we have the lowest unemployment rate ever.   And speaking of guns – we are busting the budget to pump up our military.  So if any of you little pipsqueaks are thinking about starting some trouble – you got another think coming Mister.

We live in a great time what with science and all that stuff that I don’t believe in when it contradicts what I want to think about the world.  I mean, who are you going to trust a bunch of losers who have dedicated their lives to the advancement of science or a slick con man like me who has dedicated his life to making money by skinning everyone I deal with.  Really!  Science can do a lot – if I agree with it.  But I’m the man to see.

Okay let’s move on to the important stuff. America First.  You got that losers.  We don’t impose our way of life on anyone We just storm into your country when you piss us off break a lot of stuff and kill  a bunch of people. Ask any Iraqi.  Our country is a shining example of freedom.  Ignore the fact that we have the highest poverty rate, highest crime rate, highest murder rate, highest infant mortality rate, lowest number of insured people, highest number of lawsuits, worst public educational system and stupidest President of developed country in the world.  Those are mere details.  I mean look at our Constitution (I might actually read it someday, but don’t hold your breath).  It’s been around 230 years.  That’s like longer than some of the golf courses I own.

We did some great work in the World War II.  Yeah, it’s kind of been downhill since then, but we didn’t fight that war to take over new lands – we had already done that to Mexico and Spain.

Let’s get to the meat of it.  Those “rogue regimes.”  Talk about a bunch of losers.  I mean most of you guys are losers compared to me – but Rocket Man and his pals – total losers.  Just a warning –  I eat losers for lunch and then have a real lunch after that.  I will bomb those bastards back into the stone age if needed and then have some more lunch

Okay I need to insult some other countries.

Iran – you guys are fags – terrorist supporting fags.  You’re on the list.

Venezuela – you guys wish you were fags.  You’re on the list too.

Hillary – not a country but still crooked.

Don’t get me wrong, we want peace and if you aren’t willing to go along with that, I will bomb the everliving shit out of your country before lunch.  Don’t think I won’t do it.

Now go home and tell your kids, that you just got to hear a speech by the greatest American president of all time.  That would be me, losers.

Quote for the Day

“When it comes to how we should deal with evil doers, the Bible, in the book of Romans, is very clear: God has endowed rulers full power to use whatever means necessary — including war — to stop evil. In the case of North Korea, God has given Trump authority to take out Kim Jong Un.”

Robert Jeffress, Trump Supporter, Pastor of First Baptist Church in Dallas and Confidant of God.

Red for one  is glad that Jeffress is here to tell us what God thinks.  We would be lost without his intercession and misconstruing all that wimpy stuff Jesus said about forgiveness, turning the other cheek and making friends of your enemies.   And since he also knows that God placed Trump in the White House, it is unsurprising that RJ has now established a holy hot line with the almighty to help Trump justify whatever it is he wants to do – Constitution be damned.  So when Trump decides to nuke the hell out of millions of North Koreans, take solace that God is smiling and approving because he wanted Trump to condemn those men, women and children to burn in the lake of blessed nuclear fire.

 

Quote for the Day

“That White House is a real dump.”

President Donald Trump (said to members of Trump National Bedminster Golf Club where the President chooses to spend his summer weekends at great expense to the taxpayers).

Red can see how Trump thinks the WH is a dump and not up to his standards.  Trump has made a few other more detailed observations about our Nation’s Number One Dump.  Red shares a few with you:

Where are the silk-embroidered toilet seat covers with my face and MAGA?

We really  need some solid gold faucets and spigots to class this place up a bit.

Not to mention Perrier spouting bidets like we have at Trump Tower?

There is absolutely no room for the stuffed and mounted wild animal trophies of endangered species offed by DJ and Eric.

You expect Melania to make do with a 1500 sq. ft closet.  I take a dump in bathroom bigger than that at Mar-a-Lago.

You call this a kitchen – when it can only crank out 400-500 dinners at one time?

The oval office – not really all that oval! Fake news.

Didn’t Lincoln die in the Lincoln bedroom anyway? Sad!

Not surprisingly, it still reeks of Negro!

On the bright side, the lingering odor of Rancid Penis is quickly fading!

How Low Can he Go – in Texas?

As readers know, Red has tried to guess the bottom for Trump on a national scale.  Red has figured that 29% approval is about as low as Trump can hit because there are at least that many dead-enders who will convince themselves they are satisfied with this Reality TV Show Joke of a Presidency no matter what happens.   What Red never figured on happening was attempting to guess how low Trump would go in Dark Red Texas.   But even DRT is souring on the bombastic and ill-prepared Trump as leader of the land.   Turns out that Texans may not be quite as willing to follow Trump to the bottom as previously suspected.  Red doubts this will have any impact on state-wide elections in 2018 with the possible exception of Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) whose presidential campaign and subsequent toadying towards Trump (who directly defamed his wife and father) and current refusal to meet with constituents have revealed Ted as a craven coward interested in nothing but the greater glorification of all things Ted Cruz.  The remainder of Texas Repubs are waiting around for a Democrat to show up and get pummeled.

Texas Monthly reports that Trump is now under water in the last bastion.

According to a new Gallup poll measuring the average job approval rating over his first six months in office, only 42 percent of Texans approve of his performance. Texas is among 31 states across the country where the majority of poll respondents disapprove of the job Trump has done since the election, according to CNN. And the Lone Star State is one of ten other states where Trump’s approval rating has flipped after voting for him in November, joined by Indiana, Ohio, Iowa, Georgia, Florida, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, and North Carolina. The only states with a larger net loss than Texas are Michigan and North Carolina, and Texas is tied with Indiana for the biggest gap between Trump’s margin of victory in November and his net job approval—a difference of eighteen points.

Quote for the Day

“We don’t want other leaders and other countries laughing at us anymore.”

President Donald Trump explaining why he is joining Syria and Nicaragua as the only countries to reject the Paris Climate Accords.

Red has a simple way to keep other leaders and countries from laughing at us –  remove the golden-haired clown from the Oval Office.