Monthly Archives: November 2015

Today in Texas History – November 11

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From the Annals of the Colonists –  In 1833,  members of the Beales Colony left New York aboard the Amos Wright headed for Texas. .  John Charles Beales and others had obtained large colonial grants that encompassed much of western Texas, eastern New Mexico, and the Rio Grande valley. The first colonists landed at Copano Bay on December 12, 1833. From there they traveled to a site on Las Moras Creek near Presidio del Rio Grande in the Rio Grande Valley.  The colonists named their settlement Dolores, in honor of Beales’s Mexican wife.  Beales’ Colony was a failure.  It was located in semi-arid brush unsuitable for farming and in country claimed by the Comanche.  Many colonists left for other settlements.  The final blow came during the Texas Revolution when the entire colony was abandoned before the advance of the Mexican Army.

Today In Texas History – November 10

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From the Annals of LBJ –  In 1967, the President’s Ranch Trail was dedicated in Wimberley. The 90  mile route includes places in Hays, Blanco and Gillespie counties that were important in the life of Pres.  Lyndon B. Johnson.  It extends from the LBJ Ranch, located on Ranch Road 1 near Stonewall, to San Marcos. From the ranch two approaches are possible to Blanco, from which the main route extends to San Marcos: one, referred to as the north branch, proceeds from Ranch Road 1 via U.S. Highway 290 through Hye to Johnson City, then to Blanco via U.S. Highway 281; the other approach, referred to as the south branch, leads from the ranch to Stonewall and reaches Blanco by means of Albert on Ranch Road 1623. The route from Blanco to San Marcos leads via Ranch roads 165 and 2325 through Wimberley, where Ranch Road 12 leads to San Marcos.

Photo of the Western White Houston from the National Park Service.

Anticipating Tonight’s GOP Debate

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With all the hubbub, hoo-hah, and general commotion surrounding Dr. Ben Carson’s claim to have stabbed someone as a youth, Red anticipates that the other presidential hopefuls on the GOP side may feel compelled to come up with their anecdotes showing how they have risen from their troubled past and become the better person for it.

Rand Paul –  Once refused to tip his hairdresser when she cut his hair too short.

Ted Cruz – Never killed anyone himself, but his Dad Rafael, was part of team of assassins who were dispatched to kill deposed Cuban dictator Fulgencio Bautista but were thwarted when FB had the impertinence to die of a heart attack just days before the planned assassination.  Ted himself did once unleash a brutal tongue lashing that reduced a first grade classmate to quivering jelly after cutting in front of Ted in the boy’s restroom.  Ted really had to pee very badly.

Jeb!!!!$$$$? – Whacked a fraternity brother up side of the head with a pledge paddle when he refused to give Jeb!!!!$$$$? a copy of an old Econ 101 final.  Jeb!!!!$$$$? made a C.

Marco Rubio –  Tried to attack a convenience store clerk with a switchblade.  Luckily, it was only Marco’s switchblade comb.

Carly Fiorina – Too many school yard cat fights to pick out one in particular.

Donald Trump –  Paid local toughs to beat up kid who made fun of his hair.  This happened more than once.

John Kasich –  Food fight in the men’s locker room at his country club.  Couldn’t get a decent tee time for several months.

Chris Christie – Sat on little brother until he forked over allowance.

Mike Huckabee – Body slammed gay man in the mosh pit.

Bobby Jindal –  Peed in neighbor’s back yard.

Poachers Beware

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According to reports from NBC Channel 5 in Dallas, Texas Game Wardens are gearing up to crack down on poachers this hunting season.  Most people probably do not understand how much of nuisance and actual danger these outlaws pose.  Not to mention giving a bad name to all hunters.  Now Red is far from a big time hunter, but he has taken out a few wild hogs and deer in his time.  The hogs because they are destructive pests that breed like – well, wild hogs – and harm native flora and fauna, and the deer because Red makes a mean venison sauerbraten.  Red can go out for a weekend hunt and be perfectly content to enjoy nature, do some birding, and take a hike through the woods without ever firing a shot.  Plus, Red enjoys the fact that it drives some of his rabidly conservative acquaintances practically bonkers when he tells them he will be out hunting this weekend.  They have a lot of trouble processing that one.  Red has observed some illegal poaching on occasion and there is very little that makes Red madder.  One of the cardinal rules when hunting is to know where everyone is going to be.  One cannot know where the poacher will be.  And therein lies the problem.  As mad as they make him, Red has no inclination to take out a poacher and is even less inclined to want to be taken out by one.  So Poachers Beware, the long arm of the law is watching, but they require your help.  Game Wardens rarely catch someone out of the blue.  The vast majority of poaching cases begin with an anonymous phone call to the Texas Operation Game Thief hotline at 800-792-GAME (4263).

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 9

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“”My assistant Jack Daniels and I actually destroy a cell phone every four months or so. Usually just the screen but I get it.”

Chris Long discussing Tom Brady destroying his cell phone after the Deflategate “Scandal” broke.

Red’s personal assistant simply goes by the name Oban. But some of his favorite Bourbon brands are listed below.

Red Rates Himself – Last week 4-2. For the season 34-14. Lick finger, touch ass, make sizzle sound.

Your Fighting Cock Pick of the Week: Eagles over Cowboys. Longtime readers (yeah both of them) will remember the Red Rule from past seasons. The RR is “score 13 points and beat the Cowboys.” Well, the RR is coming back into vogue. For the last 3 weeks the Cowboys have averaged exactly 12.666666666666 . . . points. Red likes irrational numbers in case you hadn’t guessed. Combine that offensive ineptitude with a 5 game losing streak and it adds up to a road win for the also struggling Eagles. The loser of this one is not dead – but will need life support even in the awful NFC East. Somehow the Cowboys are favored here. Take the Eagles and whatever points you can get.  Philadelphia 17 Arlington 11.

Your Rebel Yell Pick of the Week: Panthers over Packers. Your NFL Game of the Week features the formidable Packers going up against an undefeated team for the second week in a row and coming out on the short end. Red guesses that it has been many a long years since a team has had to face undefeated opponents on the road in weeks 8 and 9 of the season. Red looks for a wild shootout here and the over at 45.5 is Red’s NFL Bet of the Week. Carolina 39 Green Bay 35.

Your Wild Turkey Pick of the Week: Jaguars over Jets. Red has to walk out on the limb every once in a while or else this exercise just would not be very entertaining now would it? But there is a surprising amount of buzz over a matchup that no one would probably have seen as important at the beginning of the season. The Jets are sitting in the 6th playoff spot right now and the Jags are not out of contention in the pathetic excuse for a professional football division (PEFPFD) that is the AFC South. If the Jags win and Colts lose as Red predicts, the Jags will be tied with the Texans for the lead in the AFC South at 3-5. And yes, you read that correctly. So this is a big game for both teams at midseason. Most signs favor the Jets. They have given up only 4 sacks all season and the Jags have no pass rush to speak of. If Fitzpatrick has time to throw, he is among the best in the league and finding open targets. And the Jags seem incapable of holding onto a 4th quarter lead. Unfortunately, none of that phases Red after a couple of shots of Wild Turkey liquor this morning. But don’t bet on this crapshoot.  Jacksonville 20 New Jersey 17.

You’re Early Times Pick of the Week: Stealers over Raiders. Red goes with triple-reverse time zone, magnetic field shift hex on this one to call it for the Stealers at home against a still viable Raiders that are on the playoff bubble right now. The Raiders have been surprisingly competitive against the Stealers winning the last two, but look for the Stealers to be hopping mad after blowing the Bengals game last week. Lil’ Carr best watch out. Big Ben wins this one on pure grit. Pittsburgh 19 Oakland 17.

Your Old Crow Pick of the Week: Broncos over Colts. It doesn’t seem to matter to the Broncos that they have PMS (that’s “Peyton Manning Starting” for you newcomers) despite his fairly awful performance so far this season. It has been clear that PMS can’t throw the ball more than 20 yards and isn’t making particularly good decisions. In addition, feature back CJ Anderson has been pretty much a bust. So why do the Broncos keep winning? Their incredible defense and highly respectable special teams. Why do the Colts keep losing? Luck has sucked, they have no running game and the defense is pitiful – really, Red actually pities their defense. PMS will likely carry the Broncos into a first round bye and then the whole thing will implode in a wave of acrimony and recriminations. But until then it is going to be quite a ride Broncos fans – so enjoy it while you can. Red takes the Broncos anywhere up to -5 and the over at 44.5.   Denver 35 Indianapolis 16.

Your Old Blowhard Pick of the Week: Chargers over Bears. This week features a rare Monday Night Shit Bowl. But a deserving pick as these two teams have 4 wins between them. Red is puzzled about the stench emanating from Southern California as there is no reasons for the Chargers to be this bad. Their high powered passing attack should be winning more games, but for the train wreck of a defense and mediocre running game. Meanwhile over in Ursaland, the rumblings are growing. You have an aging journeyman quarterback, an aging formerly excellent back, an apparent failure top to bottom organizationally and trust Red, heads are going to roll pretty soon. Even Vic Fangio who has done a decent job with the defense may see his noggin careening toward the parking lot before this season is over. Check out the NBA schedule before tuning into this shameful shit struggle – that is, unless your pain threshold is remarkably high. San Diego 35 Chicago 13.

Today in Texas History – November 6

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From the Annals of the DRT – In 1891, the organizational meeting of the Daughters of the Republic of Texas was held in the Houston home of Mary Jane Briscoe.

 Mary S. M. Jones, widow of Anson Jones, the last president of the Republic of Texas, was selected to serve as president. The rather awkward first name chosen for the new association was the Daughters of Female Descendants of the Heroes of ’36. The group quickly changed its name to the Daughters of the Lone Star Republic, then Daughters of the Republic of Texas at the first annual meeting in April 1892. The stated objectives of the association are to perpetuate the memory and spirit of the people who achieved and maintained the independence of Texas, to encourage historical research into the earliest records of Texas, especially those relating to the revolutionary and republic periods and to promote Texas Honor Days.  However, membership is limited to descendants of ancestors who “rendered loyal service for Texas” prior to February 19, 1846, the date the Republic ceased to exist and Texas became part of the U.S.  The DRT was most famous for its custody of the Alamo – but it has now been displaced by the state of Texas.

Photo of DRT members in 1932 at Laguna Gloria, home of notable member Clara Driscoll from KayKeys.

UT Plans Move into Houston – UH Supporters Whine

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The Texas Tribune reports that the University of Texas system is purchasing a 300 acre site in southwest Houston and has plans to possibly construct a UT-Houston campus.  UH supporters where immediately aroused by any encroachment on their perceived turf by the tremendous academic juggernaut that is the UT System.   The exact site can be seen here.

Chancellor Bill McRaven, who announced the plans at a Board of Regents meeting Thursday, said “all options are on the table” and that he hopes to convene a task force next year to come up with ideas for the Houston land.

“It is the fourth-largest city in the nation; it has an international footprint,” McRaven said. “Why wouldn’t we want to have a footprint in Houston? Don’t you think Houston is large enough for another academic institution?”

The board has authorized McRaven to finalize the purchase of the property, regents said Thursday. A final price hasn’t been determined. 

The property, which is mostly vacant, is in an area called Buffalo Point about 3.5 miles south of the Texas Medical Center. A rendering displayed during the board meeting showed the potential for as many as a dozen buildings on the site, as well as sports fields and green space. 

Houston is already home to one tier one private university, Rice University, and a growing research school, the University of Houston, along with many other smaller universities and community colleges. 

The announcement was a surprise to some in the area, particularly supporters of the University of Houston. 

State. Rep. Garnet Coleman, D-Houston, whose district includes the university, said he didn’t learn about the UT System’s plans until an e-mail was sent out right before the speech. He said his first reaction was that this could be a “hostile move,” with the UT System homing in on potential tuition revenue that might otherwise go to the University of Houston or other local schools. 

All too typical of UH, which is clinging to its turf as a second-rate academic institution run by an incompetent administration that fears real competition.  Think about it, what other city the size of Houston has only 2 major universities and so few other options.  Here we have Rice and Houston followed by the minor players Texas Southern, Houston Baptist, UH-Downtown and St. Thomas.  Not that students cannot get a good education at these other institutions, but it seems remarkable that there are so few choices in Houston.   It is past time for the UT System to make its presence known in the state’s largest city.  If UH can’t compete on its own turf, then too bad.

Why Red Plays Golf and Other Thoughts on Life – Part 1

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Red has played golf since his Dad bought him a set of clubs for Christmas the year Red’s mother passed away.  Red was 10 and as you can imagine, kind of lost without even knowing it.  Red doesn’t recall that he played a round of golf with his Dad much more than a handful of times, but that doesn’t really matter.  His Dad gave him something that would last a lifetime.  “Red, all those games you like to play now are great; but when you get older, the game everyone will be playing is golf and you’d best learn it now.”  When Dad was right, he was really right.

Shortly after that Christmas, Red’s Dad joined a second-rate country club (we’ll call it BCC).  BCC was beyond the outskirts of town then and something of a getaway from the house where the ghostly presence of Mom seemed all too real and painful. The clubhouse  at BCC was adequate, there was a very nice pool with 1 and 3 meter boards, some tennis courts, a shack of a pro shop and a 9-hole cow pasturish golf course.

Red got his first golf lesson along with some other kids from the pro – who was undoubtably pretty desperate to take a job at BCC.  The instruction was probably adequate but not particularly inspiring.  The pro did impart some valuable lessons about golf etiquette and respect for the course – a subject on which Red could pontificate for quite some time.  “When you are walking on the green, it’s like you are walking on $100 bills.”  He was also able to teach Red some of the basics.  Red pretty much still uses the same grip and stance that he learned on that first Saturday on the driving range at BCC.

Red immediately liked the game and it helped that his friend John and some others wanted to play and that Red could occasionally take them out to play at BCC.  There were not many golfing options in Red’s hometown back then and BCC was not a bad place for a young golfer to work on his game.  And man, you felt grown up when you were out on the golf course playing with your friends at your country club in between two foursomes of men or the occasional women.  It all sounds a bit more idyllic that it probably was – but Red has learned not to mess with memories too much.

Red distinctly remembers the first time he hit a ball off the first tee.  It may be hard for some to believe, but it was an exciting moment – at least for 2-3 seconds.  The ball came crisply off Red’s driver and started straight down the fairway before taking a sharp right turn onto the driving range and golfing purgatory.  But it was a glorious 2-3 seconds and Red was hooked (or in this case sliced).

To be continued . . .