Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Today in Texas History – July 6

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From the Annals of Pop –  In 1923, the Dr Pepper Company was incorporated in Dallas. Dr Pepper had been made for almost 40 years after first being served at Morrison’s Old Corner Drug in Waco.  The owner, Wade Morrison, employed a pharmacist named Charles Alderton, who filled prescriptions and also served soft drinks to customers. Alderton experimented with various combinations of fruit extracts and sweeteners and landed upon a combination which was later dubbed Dr Pepper.  Morrison named the popular drink after Dr. Charles T. Pepper, a physician and pharmacist for whom Morrison had worked in Virginia. Today Dr Pepper is an operating company of Dr Pepper/Seven Up, based in Plano.  Red has personally boycotted Dr Pepper ever since the company refused Dublin Bottling Works  to continue to produce Dublin Dr Pepper.

Trumph Speaks – Red Translates

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Trumph – the Insult Comic President™ was in rare form the other night in North Dakota and the NoDaks in attendance were served up mostly a lot of talk about crowd size.

Let’s Start with Crowd Size Remarks:

I wish we could have had this stage back about 100 yards (then I wouldn’t have to be so close to so many smelly farmers). You’d see how many people. This place is packed (and smelly).  Always, always, always talk about how this crowd is big and it could have been bigger (because bigness is bigly big-time important). This place is packed. The only thing more packed is outside, trying to get in. (take my word for it – people are being crushed to death trying to get in – but they are dying happy.) You know, we had the chance for a 24,000-seat arena (somewhere in Canada I think). And we should have taken it. (can I get a B, can I get an I, can I get a – um – never mind).

If crooked Hillary (never giving that one up because I know some crooked) would have won this election, and if she came here, which is about a 0% chance (you know, smelly), after the election she’d have 200 people in a conference room in a small hotel (owned by me). And I wish those cameras (but of course they are controlled by the scum-sucking enemies of “the people” – meaning me) would circle the room to see how many thousands of people are here (again bigly important), because, you know, on the screen I look — and all you see are those few beautiful, wonderful people (a few of whom don’t smell) — I don’t know who the hell I — but you’ve got a nice group over there (what am I even talking about – sometimes I don’t know). I know you have Mike and some others. They’re going to be so famous (and that folks is what it is all about). They never take those cameras off my face (it is the most handsome face in the world after all). Look at all the women (I once had a farm girl thing before my super-model phase). 

And then Move on to His Brilliance:

Oh, I am so smart (so smart that I have to repeatedly tell you how smart I am). I am the smartest person (Euclid, Aristotle, Descartes, Newton, Rousseau, Jefferson, Einstein, Churchill, etc. – not fit to lick the shit off my shoes).  My uncle was a great professor at MIT for 40 years. Can you believe? Forty years. I said, ‘But I’m smarter than him (I mean how much did he get paid). I’m smarter than anybody.’ (My IQ is like 2500).

And hurl a few insults – because after all that is what he does best:

I meet these people (okay they smell better than you).  They call them the elite. These people. I look at them. I say, ‘That’s elite?’ (let me tell you – elite is having a naked super model in your bed). We got more money (the only thing that matters). We got more brains (see above – and now I’m thinking my IQ may actually be north of 3000). We got better houses (money), apartments (money). We got nicer boats (money). We’re smarter than they are (okay at least 3500). And they say, ‘The elite.” We are the super elite (we meaning me – most of you are pathetic losers – but what’s a conman without a ready supply of pathetic losers?).

Today in Texas History – July 5

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From the Annals of the Border Raids –  In 1855, Governor Elisha Pease authorized  Captain James Callahan to lead a party of Texas Rangers across the Rio Grande into Mexico purportedly to punish Apaches who were raiding Texas and hiding out in Mexico.  It appears more likely that the Callahan Expedition  was an attempt to recapture runaway slaves (primarily Black Seminoles) who had escaped to Mexico and obtained permission to settle there. Governor Santiago Vidaurri of Nuevo León y Coahuila had earlier rebuffed a more peaceful attempt by an emissary sent by slave owners and fearing the worst had ordered his troops to prepare for invasion. Callahan crossed into Mexico in early October and engaged the allied Seminole and Mexican forces.  A side attack was staged under the command of William R. Henry in an attempt to seize the Black Seminole women and children.  But Henry was ambushed and the entire expedition was forced to retreat to Piedras Negras.  But there they faced a large contingent of Mexican Regular Army troops supported by the Seminoles.  Callahan torched the town in retribution before skedaddling back to Texas with cover from American troops on the north side of the Rio Grande. In 1876 the Claims Commission settled claims originating from the expedition, awarding 150 Mexican citizens a total of $50,000 in damages.

Today in Texas History – June 28

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John Henry Faulk: used books, rare books and new books ...

From the Annals of the Red Scare –  In 1962, John Henry Faulk was awarded a $3.5 million libel judgment against AWARE, Inc. for branding him as a communist.   AWARE was a for-profit corporation which purportedly offered a “clearance” service to advertisers, and radio and television networks.  AWARE would supposedly investigate entertainers for signs of Communist sympathy or affiliation.  In reality, AWARE was but a tactical arm for notorious scumbag Sen. Joe McCarthy and provided another way to promote his Red Scare agenda.

Faulk’s “mistake” occurred when he and other members wrested control of  The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists away from officers backed by AWARE.  With no evidence, AWARE labeled Faulk as a Communist. Faulk soon discovered that AWARE was keeping its radio station clients from hiring him.  Faulk sued with the back of other radio entertainers and CBS News vice-president Edward R. Murrow. Faulk hired famed New York attorney Louis Nizer.  AWARE engaged notorious scumbag attorney Roy Cohn (later the attorney for Trumpf – The Insult Comic President).  After many delays instigated Cohn’s tactics for AWARE, the case went to trial and the jury found for Faulk awarding him more damages than he had sought in his petition. had determined that Faulk should receive more compensation than he sought in his original petition. The $3.5 million was the largest ever in a libel case at that point.  On appeal, the damages were reduced to $500,000.   After paying legal fees and accumulated debts, Faulk received about $75,000.  Faulk’s book, Fear on Trial, published in 1963, tells the story of the experience.

Red’s World Cup Update

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Here is how Red fared in his Group Play predictions.

Group A Red – Uruguay and Egypt      Group A Results – Uruguay and Russia

Group B Red – Portugal and Spain      Group B Results – Spain and Portugal

Group C Red – France and Peru          Group C Results – France and Denmark

Group D Red – Argentina & Iceland   Group D Results – Croatia and Argentina

Group E Red – Brazil & Costa Rica      Group E Results – Brazil and Switzerland

Group F Red – Germany & Mexico     Group F Results – Sweden and Mexico

Group G Red – Belgium & England    Group G Results – England and Belgium

Group H Red – Columbia & Poland   Group H Results – Columbia and Japan

Red was 10 of 16 for the Round of 16.  A really good grouping would be 12 or more out of 16, but Red is far from embarrassed by his picks.  Red certainly did not see Croatia, Switzerland or Sweden as the powerhouses that they have proved to be in Group Play.  Picking Peru over Denmark was probably Red’s biggest blunder followed by picking a shaky Egypt side over the team playing on home soil.  Germany heading home probably surprised all but a very few prognosticators, but that is what happens when you score one goal – one goal!

Red’s knock-out round picks will be up tomorrow.

This Just In – Josh Innes Still Sucks (cont.)

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Red’s opinion of sports talk radio buffoon Josh Innes is rather well-known to long-time readers by now.  KBME – AM 790 in Houston pushed out the knowledgeable and well-liked Charlie Pallilo two years ago and brought in the obnoxious and uniformed Innes as a replacement after he was drummed out of the Philadelphia market.

Every once in a while, Red may push the wrong button and end up listening to a few seconds of Innes’ inane blather.  It happened last week, just as Innes was heaping praise on Donald Trump and guaranteeing that the Insult Comic President will win a second 4-year term because everyone is piling on him and that makes Innes want to support him.

Red has to thank the blubberous Innes because for the first time in a long time, Red has some hope.  If Innes thinks Trump is a shoo-in for another term, then the likelihood of that happening has gone way down.  Innes should stick to talking about other subjects of which he is ignorant – like Sports for example.

Red’s World Cup Update

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Red’s pre-tournament  favorites Mexico, Spain, Portugal and Argentina seem to be headed in different directions.

Spain and Portugal are likely moving on with 4 points each and playing Morocco and Iran respectively in the third game of group play.  But neither side has impressed so far.  Red calls Spain and Portugal mediocre in action to date.  Each side needs a three goal outburst against the lesser competition.  Red views Portugal as more likely to come up with a big game.

Any time you beat the reigning world champion, things are looking up.  Mexico is certainly looking that way and a win over Sweden (make that S. Korea)  tomorrow (not a given by any means) would all but assure an entry into the Round of 16 for El Tri and add to the swagger that comes with beating Deutschland.   Look for more fireworks from Mexico’s powerful frontline and rising star Hirving Lozano and more solid keeping from Memo Ochoa.

And alas, Los Albicelestes are wondering where the bus came from that has run them over and drug them a kilometer down the road in this WC.  A total ass-whomping by Croatia has put Argentina in a serious bind.  There is a narrow path to the knock-out rounds but Messi and Co. no longer control their own fate.   SB Nation has the scoop on Argentina’s chances.

  1. Iceland ties or loses to Nigeria tomorrow.

  2. Croatia then needs to beat or tie Iceland.

  3. Argentina needs to beat Nigeria.

All three of those things happening will allow Argentina to advance.

If Iceland beats Nigeria tomorrow, there is still an outside chance that Argentina could sneak in, but for that to happen it would rely on them beating Nigeria and then Iceland losing to Croatia, and then it would come down to a tiebreaker, since both teams would be on four points.

Goal difference would decide it at that point, and if goal difference is the same, then it will go to yellow cards, of which Argentina has more than a few.  If none of the above happens, Argentina is eliminated.

This looks like the end for Argentina as a serious world power for at least a couple of years.  Maybe they come back in Copa America next year – but maybe not.

Other teams to watch (besides the obvious favorites to move on) include – Croatia, Senegal, Japan and Denmark.  Meanwhile, Red is sort of wishing he had gotten on the Uruguay bandwagon – but he just doesn’t like Suarez or Cavani (the Robbins of South America).

Today in Texas History – June 20

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From the Annals of Statehood –  In 1844, the U.S. Senate rejected a treaty providing for the annexation of Texas.  Texas’ annexation was a hot political issue of the day because it meant the addition of a vast slave-holding state to the Union.  Both the Democrats and Whigs had opposed annexation understanding that it would further inflame tensions between the free and slave states.  However, President John Tyler began to promote annexation as a gambit to gain support for a second presidential term.  Tyler had abandoned the Whig party by this point and believed that pursuing annexation of Texas would create a groundswell of popular support among slave states and secure him another four years in office.  He began secret negotiations with Sam Houston’s administration and ultimately secured a treaty of annexation in April 1844.   When the terms became public, the 1844 became something of a referendum on the issue of annexation.  Pro-annexation southern Democratic delegates  rejected Tyler and the anti-annexation leader Martin Van Buren at their party’s convention in May 1844, instead nominating pro-annexation James K. Polk who ran on a pro-Texas Manifest Destiny platform.

In June 1844, the Senate, with its Whig majority, rejected the Tyler–Texas treaty and in the Fall elections Polk narrowly defeated anti-annexation Whig Henry Clay.  In December 1844, lame-duck President Tyler once again attempted to gain passage of the treaty.  He called on Congress to pass his treaty by simple majorities in each house. The Democratic-dominated House of Representatives passed a bill expanding on the pro-slavery provisions of the Tyler treaty. The Senate narrowly passed a compromise version of the House bill (by the vote of the minority Democrats and several southern Whigs), designed to provide the incoming President-elect Polk the options of immediate annexation of Texas or new talks to revise the annexation terms of the House-amended bill.  On March 1, 1845, President Tyler signed the annexation bill, and on March 3 (his last day in office), he forwarded the House version to Texas, offering immediate annexation (which preempted Polk). When Polk took office the next day, he encouraged Texas to accept the Tyler offer. Texas ratified the agreement with popular approval from Texans.

Meanwhile on the subject of tolerance and understanding

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A billboard on Interstate 40 in Texas tells liberals to to keep driving until they leave the state.

An undisclosed client hired Burkett Outdoor Advertising to put up a billboard in the Panhandle advising “liberals” to leave Texas.  According to the latest polling in statewide races, that would require as much as 40% of the state to “get the Hell out of [insert city name here]” as the liberal Senate candidate Beto O’Rourke is currently polling around that number.  If you look at Trump’s disapproval rating, then maybe as many as 47% of Texans would have to make like horseshit and hit the trail as that is the percentage that strongly (40%) or somewhat (7%) disapprove of Trumpf – the Insult Comic President.  Red is just guessing, that might hurt the Texas economy just a bit – but it would leave a lot of room for immigrants (or worse Californians) to move in.  That is called “unintended consequences.”

Hot Texas Barbecue Spots

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Travel & Leisure has released its list of the top 25 barbecue spots in the U.S.  It’s a bit surprising that only two Texas pits made the list.   Even more surprising, are the absence of famous spots such as Franklin’s in Austin (overrated in Red’s opinion) and Snow’s in Lexington (the best there is).  The only Texas pitmasters to make the list were:

No. 15  – Spicy Mike’s  Bar-B-Q Haven in Amarillo.

No. 14  – Kat’s Barbecue in Santa Fe.

Red will be checking them out and letting you if T&L knows its stuff.