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“I Fart in Your General Direction”

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The counter protest to the Mock Mass Shooting staged across from UT-Austin seems to have drawn more interest than the main event.   Time has the poop.

About 100 people with flatulence noise makers marched against a mock mass shooting Saturday at the University of Texas to divert attention away from pro-gun demonstrators.

The group took to the streets of Austin with machines that make fart sounds in their counter “mass farting” protest, the Houston Chronicle reports. Their march was in response to guns rights groups’ plans to stage a fake mass shooting at the school, complete with fake blood.

“This is about a choice between fear and a little bit of good humor,” organizer and UT alumnus Andrew Dobbs told the crowd, according to the Chronicle. “We are in a scary time right now and lots of scary things are happening and some people want us to be more afraid.”

Old Uncle Fear, the best weapon that the right-wing has in this country.

 

Message From Loving Christians Who Want to Kill a Lot of People

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Jerry Falwell, Jr. really preaches the essential message of Jesus of love and forgiveness by advocating slaughter of Muslims.

“I always  thought that if more good people had concealed carry permits, then we could in those Muslims before they walk in and kill.”  Falwell also confirmed that he was packing heat while speaking at a religious  based institution of higher learning.

Falwell’s remarks drew wild applause from Liberty University’s students at the weekly convocation.  Meanwhile, Jesus wept.

Today in Texas History – December 4

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From the Annals of the Ships of the Line –  In 2010, the USS Fort Worth was launched.  The FW is a Freedom-class littoral combat ship.  She is the first ship to be named after Fort Worth, the 16th-largest city in the United States.   The FW is currently on a 16-month rotational deployment to Singapore in support of the U.S. Navy’s “strategic rebalance” to the Pacific. She is first LCS to use the “3-2-1” manning concept, swapping fully trained crews roughly every four months.  FW also deploys with an aviation detachment from Helicopter Maritime Strike Squadron 35 (HSM-35) “Magicians”, the U.S. Navy’s first composite expeditionary helicopter squadron.

Photo from en.Wikipedia.org

Today in Texas History – December 2

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From the Annals of the Boomtowns – In 1907, citizens of Peck renamed their community Tomball in honor of former U.S. Congressman Thomas Henry Ball. Ball was strong supporter of the development of the Houston Ship Channel and a renown prohibition advocate. Tomball later rose to prominence in 1933 when drillers struck oil. The population of Tomball tripled as numerous oil and gas operators moved in and set up worker camps, and built new housing and recreation facilities.   In 1935, Humble Oil and Refining Company granted free water and natural gas to Tomball residents in exchange for drilling rights within the city limits.   Ball’s influence is still seen today as parts of the town remain dry.

Photo of Thomas Ball Statue from tripddvisor.co.uk.

Non-Profit Defies Bogus Order from Gov. Abbott

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The fight over the right to resettle Syrian refugees in Texas is heating up.  Gov. Greg Abbott (TP-Texas) previously declared that Texas will not accept Syrian refugees despite having no authority whatsoever over the matter and in apparent violation of legal protections against discrimination based on national origin or religion.  Abbott then threatened non-profits who are doing the hard work of creating conditions for a better life in the U.S. for these refugees with legal action if they did not kowtow to his demands.  Well, at least one such non-profit is fighting back against Abbott’s baseless blustering.  The Texas Tribune has the details.

The New York-based International Rescue Committee said in a Monday letter to Texas health and human services chief Chris Traylor that its Dallas affiliate would continue to provide resettlement assistance to all refugees “who have been admitted lawfully to the United States.”

The nonprofit had received a letter earlier on Monday from Traylor urging the International Rescue Committee’s Dallas branch to discontinue resettling Syrian refugees or risk losing its state contract “and other legal action.” The International Rescue Committee — one of about 20 nonprofits that have a state contract to resettle refugees in Texas — had previously informed the state that it would resettle two families in the Dallas area in early December. Both families have relatives in North Texas, the nonprofit said.

The federal Office of Refugee Resettlement last week warned Abbott and other governors that they do not have the power to reject Syrian refugees, telling them they would be breaking the law if they denied benefits or services to refugees based on their country of origin or religion. States that defy the law could face suspension or termination of their refugee resettlement programs, according to a letter signed by Robert Carey, director of the office.

Abbott has insisted he has the legal authority to refuse to accept Syrian refugees, citing a specific part of federal law requiring resettlement nonprofits to work “in close cooperation and advance consultation” with the state.

Abbott is a well-versed constitutional lawyer who should know better than to put forth absurd claims of authority  based on statutory language that does not actually give the state any power to control the resettlement of refugees.  But that wouldn’t play well with his Tea Party base – now would it?

 

Gov. Abbott Visits Cuba – For Dinner and a Floor Show

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Gov. Greg Abbott (TP-Texas) embarked on a supposed trade mission to Cuba and apparently accomplished little other than having a nice dinner and taking in a floor show.  According to the pool report filed by a Texas reporter traveling with Abbott, the governor dined and watched a concert at a high-end private restaurant in the Miramar section of Havana on Monday evening.

On Tuesday, Abbott visited Cuba’s new Mariel port and free trade zone.  Abbott’s group was told by Cuban officials that the U.S. trade embargo – which Congress has refused to lift despite normalization of relations between the two countries – meant there was no opportunity for U.S. businesses to invest there.

Abbott told the officials that “Texas has an abundance of (rice and other commodities) and a very easy ability to export from Texas to Cuba,” according to the pool report.   The Cuban officials indicated that the island nation would continue to buy rice from other sources until the U.S. allowed the country to buy on credit, a measure currently prohibited by the embargo.

Despite the bad news, sources tell Red that the excellent flan and expresso Abbott was served after his fancy meal made the entire trip worthwhile and a really good deal for Texas taxpayers.

Texas High School Football Score of the Week

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The Crowell Wildcats defeated the Garden City Bearcats 94-86 on Monday in a weather-postponed game.  So if you had the under at 179, you lost!  The two teams combined for an incredible 1339 yards of total offense – and that is on an 80 yard field playing 10 minute quarters.

Crowell kept its dream of a third consecutive state Class A Championship alive.  The scoring started slowly with the game tied at 8-8 after the first quarter.  Garden City led by 2 at halftime, but the Wildcats ran wild scoring 56 points in the second and third quarters. Garden City attempted a comeback of their own with a 40 point fourth quarter, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the powerful Crowell attack.  The game wasn’t finally decided until Garden City failed to convert an onside kick with 49 seconds left.

Crowell will move on to the state semifinals against the 13-0 Borden Coyotes. The Wildcats lost to Borden 58-48 in the first game of the season, so Crowell will be looking to avenge their early season loss and return to the State Championship game.  Somewhere, the ghost of Dick Todd is smiling.

TheUSDaily has game highlights.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 13

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“Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.”

Peyton Manning

The only pressure PM is feeling these days is the pressure on his ass from the bench on which he is riding.

Red Rates Himself – For week 11 Red was 2-4. For the season 42-24. Good thing Red took week 12 off.

Your Too Much Pressure Pick of the Week: Falcons over Buccaneers. The Falcons just can’t handle success and clearly at risk of letting another season slip away – albeit in a different fashion this year. After a hot start the Falcons are 1-5 over their last 6 games having not scored more than 21 points during that stretch. The close loss to the Bucs at home on Nov. 1 started the current string of 4 losses in a row. Either the Falcons exact revenge for that one or their playoff hopes take a huge hit on Sunday. The Bucs have been up and down and unable to string together exactly one 2 game winning streak against the dregs of the NFC East (Eagles and Cowboys). Doug Martin has resurrected his career and Jameis Winston is looking like he can develop into a real starting QB in the NFL. The winner of this one doesn’t have an inside track to a wildcard playoff spot just yet, but the loser is definitely in trouble. This game hinges on the return of fantasy football star Devonta Freeman. Red is betting that he passes the NFL’s concussion protocol this week and is back punishing linebackers. Still this one is too close to call for a betting man. Atlanta 23 Tampa Bay 20.

Your Pressure Cooker Pick of the Week: Texans over Bills. Red is concerned that actually picking the Texans is the kiss of death. But the Texans should have this game in the pocket if only they can keep Tyrod Taylor in the pocket. The Bills do have a respectable running game, but the Texans front 7 has suddenly turned the corner. Since Lamar Miller burned them for 175 yards on Oct. 25, the Texans have pretty much shut down every running back they have faced. The weather does not appear to be a factor and the Texans will grind out a close one here. Red likes the under on this one at 42.   Houston 17 Orchard Park 13.

Your Pressure Drop, Oh Pressure, I Say Pressure Gonna Drop on You Pick of the Week: Vikings over Seahawks.   Against his better judgment, Red picked the Seahawks to get in as a wildcard. And they would be in if the season ended today. Red was barely sentient during the last 12 game NFL season, but he bets it was nice having the NFL championship game played sometime before spring break. Red also picked the Vikings who are looking to knock off the Packers and start a new era of Purple Pride. Since the mysterious loss to the 49ers in week one, the Vikings have beat all comers save for the Pack. They get another shot in the last game of the season. Red was pretty convinced Teddy Ballgame was the real deal when he excelled in the last 6 games of the 2014 without scrubs and dregs in the backfield. With AP, who is a real running back, defensive minded head coach Mike Zimmer is just not letting (or more likely having to let) Teddy throw the ball much at all. You beat the Seahawks with a punishing running game that then opens up their secondary to the deep ball – and Teddy can throw deep when he needs to. Look for some big plays in this one. Right now this one is a pick’em and Red picks the Vikings.   Minnesota 35 Seattle 21.

You’re Anal Pressure Pick of the Week: OTNA’s over Cowboys. Putting the OTNA’s in this week’s Shit Bowl is a little unfair. They are a first place team – even if it is the Pathetic Excuse for a Professional Football Division that is the NFC East. But almost any time two teams from the PEFPFD meet, being slated for the Shit Bowl is fair game. Red was watching the Cowboys get drubbed by the Panthers while finishing up preparations for the Thanksgiving meal and kept thinking – Why is Tony Romo still in this game? He just came back from a long rehab and this game is out of hand. He is just going to get injured and then the Cowboys season will really be over. And guess what? Anyhow, Red feels bad that he wasn’t around last week to give loyal readers the dead cinch lock of the season by taking the Panthers plus 1. So he gives you this one as the dead cinch lock of the week. Take the resurgent OTNA’s and give up whatever points you have to give up. The Cowboys are staggering around looking for a place to fall and it will be face down in the turf at FedEx Field on Monday. I am sure the league is very happy that they scheduled the Cowboys to play in 11 nationally televised games (including this dreadful dung duel) this season. Take the Skins minus 4 or minus 25 if you have to. Landover, Md 45 Arlington 3.

Your Pressure Washer Pick of the Week: Patriots over Eagles. Speaking of staggering around looking for a place to fall can only lead to a discussion of the heaping mound of refuse that the Eagles have become. Red is in awe of a coach that can take a real professional football team and remake them into a lifeless lump of losers. Then you have the coach on the other side that loses player after player and just keeps on winning. This one will be closer than it should be. But really, who do you want to bet on? Take the Pats unless you have to give up more than 9 which you undoubtedly will. New England 24 Philadelphia 14.

You’re a Pressure Points Pick of the Week: Stealers over Colts.   Red, you ask, “Aren’t most 40 year old men sitting on their living room couch on Sunday watching young men ruin their bodies for the pleasure of others?” Yes, Timmy, that’s usually a correct statement. But Billy, every once in a while there comes a player, a George Blanda, a Vinny Testaverde, a Sonny Jurgenson, who somehow manages to cheat the hands of time and play well past the normal expiration date. And Willy, we appear to have one of those on our hands this season in the form of Matt Hasselbeck. Translated from the Old German “Hasselbeck” actually means “elderly watermelon chucker.” So Danny, perhaps it was fate that put much of the Colts season in the hands of the ageless wonder from Colorado via Boston College. Meanwhile, Chuck “the Duck” Pagano claims that MH will not replace faltering Andrew Luck at QB for the Colts. This despite the fact that MH has won 4 of the 6 games for the Colts this season while Luck has just plain sucked in several of his starts. In fairness, Louie, the Colts best win -against the Broncos – came with AL at the helm and MH has feasted on the defensive dregs of the league. So if Chuck wants to go back to Luck, more power to him. The winner of this one has the inside track to a Wildcard spot. The loser is playing for time. Games like this are dangerous. Red has consulted the Magic Golf Ball which says “Sell.” Red is staying away. Pittsburgh 20 Indianapolis 12.

 

 

 

 

 

Ted Cruz Confused?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) was pontificating on the recent shooting rampage at a Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood facility while campaigning in Iowa on Sunday.  When asked about the accused killer Robert Lewis Dear, Cruz claimed that the media wanted “to blame him on the pro-life movement when at this point there’s very little evidence to indicate that.”

When a reporter told Cruz that Dear is alleged to have yelled out “no more baby parts” after his arrest Cruz responded, “Well, it’s also been reported that he was registered as an independent and a woman and transgendered leftist activist, if that’s what he is.”  Cruz was probably talking about a report from a right-wing blog, that uncovered a Colorado state voter registration form which lists Dear’s sex as female.

So in Ted Cruz’s topsy-turvy world having your sex recorded incorrectly on a voter registration card potentially makes you into a “transgendered leftist activist” that attacks PP facilities.

Cruz tells a different tale  about the Black Lives Matter movement – claiming that BLM activists are “literally suggesting and embracing and celebrating the murder of police officers.” Cruz went on to claim, “If you look at the Black Lives Matter movement, one of the most disturbing things is more than one of their protests have embraced rabid rhetoric, rabid anti-police language, literally suggesting and embracing and celebrating the murder of police officers. That is disgraceful.”

Cruz has no such words for his pro-life supporters who have advocated violence.  Their escalating rhetoric apparently does not faze the Tea Party favorite at all.  Cruz proudly touted the endorsement of Troy Newman who has repeatedly advocated for the defense of justifiable homicide for killers of abortion providers and called for the U.S. to execute abortion providers as murderers.  “We need leaders like Troy Newman,” according to Cruz.   MediaMatters has the details on Newman’s incendiary rhetoric.

Today in Texas History – December 1

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From the Annals of Broadway – In 1913, Mary Martin, star of stage and screen,  was born in Weatherford, Texas.  Martin was encouraged to perform in local theater as a child and began voice lessons at age twelve. Her first success was on Broadway in Cole Porter’s Leave It To Me . Martin sang the show-stopper “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” and was an instant hit with Broadway audiences. Although she appeared in at least 10 films, Martin’s greatest success came in musical theatre – starring in productions of South Pacific , Peter Pan , The Sound of Music, and I Do, I Do among many others.