Today in Texas History – April 21

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From the Annals of the Revolution  – In 1836, Texian forces under the command of Gen. Sam Houston defeated part of the Mexican Army encamped at San Jacinto under the command of Gen. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna.  Santa Anna overextended his troops by crossing the San Jacinto River without his full field artillery and isolating his unit from the larger commands of General Filosola and Urea.  Houston would likely not have attacked but for learning that Santa Anna had divided his army and only had about 1200 troops at San Jacinto.  It was as close to a chance at an even fight as Houston would ever have.  Convinced that the Texians would not attack even though they were less than a mile away, Santa Anna incredibly failed to take necessary precautions and the Mexicans were routed in a surprise attack that lasted only about 18 minutes.  Had Santa Anna attacked the Texians in battle formation, they likely would have been routed and the idea of an independent Texas would have been dead for years to come.  Santa Anna was captured after the battle.  Houston realized that his chances of defeating the rest of the Mexican Army were not good and that Santa Anna was his best bargaining chip.  He resisted calls to execute “El Presidente” and to save his life, Santa Anna ordered the remainder of the still overwhelming Mexican forces in Texas to return to Mexico.  If Urea and Filosola had refused to obey the order they likely would have been Mexican heroes for generations and Texas independence would have been problematic at best.  But the generals grudgingly complied and withdrew.

Quote for the Day

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“America has always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat.”

Sen. Ted Cruz  (TP-Texas) in unveiling his new campaign theme of “Yes we will (steal the nomination from Donald Trump).”

Ted obviously was not kidding about that lack of sleep.  Is Ted calling America a whore? Or just an easy rack?

Ted Cruz Complains – Red Translates

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Dear Red ,

I’m about to ask you to make a sacrifice (I’m an Old Testament Christian after all) in the next 48 hours. But before I do, I want you to know: I wouldn’t ask you if I hadn’t already done it myself   (If you don’t believe me check out the burned doves and occasional ripped open sheep on my back patio).

Please let me briefly explain.

You see, running for President of the United States is a significant sacrifice (mostly of the opportunity to vote in the Senate – the job I was elected to do). Only through prayer and many late night discussions (I love pillow talk) with my wife, family, and closest friends did I make THE decision (Not that the outcome was ever in doubt).
And I must share with you — I’ve committed to sacrificing a great deal for our campaign:

Time with my family: Spending almost every day on the campaign trail or fighting on the Senate floor (at least once a month) means precious little time spent with my wife, Heidi, (I think that’s her name) and my daughters (I forget their names but damn they’re cute) — the very family that gives me the motivation and drive to fight (well that along with my raging narcissism).

Health and sleep: My runoff campaign for the Senate in 2012 took a toll (I wouldn’t wish my varicose veins on my worst enemy), but now I’m sacrificing even more sleep with long nights and constant travel (which explains some of my bizarre outbursts). And the pizza diet (you know I prefer Canadian bacon) is a staple on the campaign trail.

Finances: the cost of campaigning back and forth across the country for president is increasingly expensive (but paid for with other people’s money), but Heidi and I are willing to invest our livelihoods into this sacrifice (because win or lose a big book deal is coming).

Personal time: You think of this the least, but as a candidate, my days are no longer my own (in fact, they are bought and paid for by the Koch brothers). Days start before dawn and many times don’t end until early the next morning (only the adulation of the crowds keeps me going). There is almost no personal time when you run for president (it takes three aides to help me take a shit).

Red, I’ve chosen to sacrifice part of mine and my families lives (our lives, damn it, our lives – I’m just like Abraham) to run for President (my lifelong dream)— but I think you will agree with me that the sacrifice is well worth it (or maybe not).

 Unless courageous conservatives (and a good number of misled dupes) are willing to make tough sacrifices to stand up and fight, we will not be able to restore America (you know, flood damage from the Obama years and all).

Today, I’m asking you to make a sacrifice —–. Will you join me by making a special, one-time (did I say one time?  Jeez, the staff is going to be pissed off about that one) gift (it’s like Christmas every day at the Cruz headquarters) to my campaign?
I’ve asked my staff to put together these secure links below so you can make an instant and secure sacrificial gift — it can be done in just 5 minutes.

 I CAN SACRIFICE $35 (a dove) TO RESTORE AMERICA >>  I CAN SACRIFICE $100 (a lamb) TO RESTORE AMERICA >> 

 I CAN SACRIFICE $250 (a cow) TO RESTORE AMERICA >> 

 I CAN SACRIFICE $1000 (a bull elephant) TO RESTORE AMERICA >> 

Will you be a courageous conservative and make a special gift today to help restore America? I can only reach this goal with your help.


I wouldn’t ask you if 1f I wasn’t willing to make the same sacrifice myself (I managed to work in sacrifice 15 times – if that doesn’t get the evangelicals all riled up and ready to get out the credit cards – nothing will); and 2) the stakes weren’t so high (later tonight, they are going to drive the stakes through my hands – how’s that for sacrifice).

Red (I used your name 3 times, Red, make that 4, Red, oh shit now it’s 5 – please make me stop)—, time is critical, and if you will, please make this special gift in the next 48 hours — I would be so grateful (I’ll raise your taxes just to prove it).

For liberty (and the greater glorification of all things Ted Cruz,

Ted Cruz

 

 

 

   
    
   
   

 

 

A Big Dam Failure in Houston?

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In fall 2009, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers tagged West Houston's Addicks and Barker dams with an "extremely high risk of catastrophic failure" label. According to the Corps, the 1940s-era dams, which leaked in April 2009, are two of the country's six most dangerous. As a result, the Corps, during an abnormal weather event, might be forced to release more rainwater downstream, which could send Buffalo Bayou out of its banks and flood homes in Memorial and Tanglewood.

With more rain on the way, nervous Houstonians may not even be aware that two aging dams stand between them and catastrophe.  It’s not a new problem.  Check out Steve Jansen’s article in a July 2012 edition of the Houston Press.   As if you didn’t have enough to worry about.

Addicks and Barker have also been weakened due to the natural decline of dams that are made out of a big pile of dirt. According to a 2010 study released by the United States Society on Dams, soil and rocks that have been used in dam construction tend to deform, erode and lose strength over time.

As a result, Houston’s most valuable and proven flood-control mechanisms might not be able to protect the city against a 25-year storm event, says Lawrence Dunbar, a former head of the Army Corps of Engineers’ flood control and reservoir regulation section in Chicago.

“The Corps isn’t quite sure how these voids got formed. Therefore, they’re not sure if you get another big rain and the reservoir fills up again, even if it doesn’t get high as it got before, they’re not sure it can hold and voids won’t form again,” says Dunbar, a licensed professional engineer in Texas since 1983.

In the 1980s, the Corps installed concrete walls inside the earthen part of the dam to discourage leakage. However, the concrete wasn’t installed above or below the culverts, which need replacing in the worst way.

“That’s where they found these voids — under the culverts,” says Dunbar. “What happens when a void forms is, it can basically let water blow through under the culverts or through the dam. When that happens, it’s bad and dam failure is imminent. It’s a big concern,” says Dunbar.

Ted Cruz Skunked in New York

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Donald Trump mopped the floor with Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) on Tuesday on Trump’s home turf.  The Texas Tea Party hero finished a distant third behind Trump and Ohioan John Kasick and earned exactly ZERO delegates.  Trump made up all the ground that Cruz had fought hard for over the last month in one night and with a favorable calendar for the next two weeks, looks likely to very nearly close the deal by the end of April.   Another Trump sweep seems possible next week.   Cruz might have a chance to win Nebraska or maybe South Dakota, but his only real shot now is to muck up the works at the GOP National Convention, deny Trump a first ballot victory, and then sneak off with the nomination on a later ballot.  That might actually present the best-case scenario in Red’s opinion.

“How so?”, you ask.   If going to Cleveland Trump has – say 1200 delegates – close but no cigar, Cruz will do everything in his power to hold Trump just short.  If he succeeds and wins the nomination in a “contested convention”, the GOP will likely fracture, Trump may run as a third party candidate, Cruz will go down in ignominious defeat losing 49 states, never be heard from again as a serious national candidate, and maybe re-immigrate to Canada.  A guy can dream can’t he?

Today in Texas History – April 20

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From the Annals of the Singers – In 1924, Jules Lorenzo Cobb Bledsoe made his professional singing debut at Aeolian Hall in New York  under the sponsorship of impresario Sol Hurok. The  Waco-born African-American baritone was 27 at the time.  After graduating as valedictorian from  Central Texas Academy in Waco he earned a B.A. from Bishop College in Marshall.  He also attended Virginia Union College from 1918 to 1919, and studied medicine at Columbia University. Bledsoe’s first love, however, was music which he studied throughout his academic career.  Bledsoe sang with the Chicago Opera, and in New York, Amsterdam, Paris, Vienna and Brussels among others.  His best-known achievement, however, was his portrayal of Joe in Florenz Ziegfeld’s 1927 production of Jerome Kern’s Showboat. His interpretation of “Ol’ Man River” made the song an American classic. A highlight of his career was his performance in the title role for the European premiere, in Amsterdam, of Louis Gruenberg’s opera The Emperor Jones (1934). Bledsoe also wrote an opera, Bondage (1939), based on Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Sid Miller Uses Tax Dollars to Promote – Wait for It – Sid Miller

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Texas Politician Rips On Lawmakers With Passive-Aggressive Gas Pump Label

Red knows that many elected office holders will attempt to use their office to keep their name in front of the voters as much as possible and gratify their all-consuming egos.  You can’t go anywhere in Texas without finding a County Commissioner’s name on a sign within a half-mile.  But Agricultural Commissioner Sid “Cupcake” Miller is taking it to a higher level with his new stickers that every Texas gas station must place on fuel pumps.

The sticker is topped by Miller’s name in large print and then after a friendly “Howdy Neighbors!” (Red admires proper use of an exclamation point!), Sid goes on to disclaim responsibility for motor fuel taxes and make sure the driver knows that the dastardly U.S. Congress and Texas Legislature are to blame.

When asked why Miller’s name was so prominent on the new stickers, the Texas Agriculture deputy commissioner’s response was: “The individuals involved in the design are not currently in the office.”  If only the same could be said for Sid.

 

Texas Secession Picking up Steam – At Least Among Tea Partisans

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Delegates at the Texas GOP convention in June will get to debate the issue of Texas secession – an issue Red thought had been emphatically decided 150 years ago.  But not for the die-hard Tea Partisans who fancy themselves patriots.

A group called the Texas Nationalist Movement claims at least 22 county conventions have passed resolutions on a secession vote.  Pressure is mounting for the GOP to have what would likely be a very embarrassing vote on secession at the state convention.  The party avoided a controversy four years ago when according to the TNM only one such resolution passed.

Jared Woodfill, a Tea Party activist and candidate for the State GOP chairmanship, predictably weighed in on the side of the secessionists.  “I absolutely think the people should have an opportunity to vote on this issue,” said Woodfill according to the Houston Chronicle.  Current Texas GOP chairman Tom Mechler, was less enthusiastic.  “Republican is not even in their name,” Mechler said of TNM.  It would be nice if another Texas GOP official – ahem, Our Poor Idiot Governor for instance – would come out against secession.  Red wouldn’t hold his breath waiting for that.

So sedition may become an official part of the Texas GOP platform.  Red wonders how Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) views all of this since if Texas secedes it would seem he would be further disqualified from holding the job he now seeks so desperately.  Of course, if Cruz becomes president, all talk of secession will die.  But talk of impeachment will just be getting started.

Red Bitches

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As Red watched the flooding yesterday he wondered, “What in the hell is so important that you are driving through a street with almost 18 inches of water and what do you think you are going to do when you hit that patch of road where the water is 3 feet deep or more and then when you have to be rescued or abandon your car in the middle of the street are you going to apologize to your rescuers for being such a complete and total dumbass and swear that in the future you will listen to the smart people and just stay home or are you so f*#@ing stupid that you will probably do this again the next time it floods -like maybe tomorrow?”

Red realizes that some poor people were caught unawares, but there were plenty of folks hitting the road well after it became clear that the only thing to do was stay put.

Today in Texas History – April 19

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From the Annals of the Traveling Capital –  In 1837, Houston became the capital of Texas  two months before the community was actually incorporated as a city. The former Harrisburg had been founded by the Allen brothers only a year before and named after Gen. Sam Houston -hero of the Battle of San Jacinto. The capital remained on Buffalo Bayou until January of 1839 when Austin was approved as the new capital.

Photo of the building that served as the Capitol from mysanantonio.com.