Red was a mediocre 3-3 on the straight match-ups last week and is holding his own at 43-29 for the season.  The money line was tough on ol’ Red as he went 2-4 with his bookie.

Answer to last week’s trivia:  From 1923 to 2013, the Packers and Lions have played 22 games on Thanksgiving Day.

This week’s trivia: When was the last scoreless NFL game played and which teams managed to score zero points?

Your Nada Game of the Week: Vikings over Falcons.    Case Keenum could have been a Texan!  In fact he was a Texan – twice and managed to win two games coming in out of the cold to end the season in 2014. And the Texans did not even give him a second look in 2015.  Okay he was bad with the Rams in 2016, but who wasn’t?  Given a chance in Minnesota (because Sam Bradford is a particularly delicate flower – no knock on Sam but that’s the way it is), CK has flourished with 14 TDs, 5 INTs and a 96.7 QB rating.  And meanwhile in Texas, Tom “the Turnover Machine” Savage is playing out the skein with the Texans.  Oh, what could have been.  This week is a big challenge for the Vikings but they look up to it.  Given the firepower of these two offenses, Red likes the over at 47.5. Minnesota 30 Atlanta 27.

Your Zilch Game of the Week: Titans over Texans.  Despite having been clobbered (and that is putting it mildly) by the Texans in Week 4, Red will take the “improved” Titans giving up 7 to the floundering Texans.  Hopefully, Mrs. Red has something planned for Sunday so that Red doesn’t have to watch another whipping.  Tennessee 24 Houston 9.

Your Zero Game of the Week: Eagles over Seahawks.  Red thinks the Eagles walk over the depleted Seahawks and will gladly give up 5 points to any eager Seahawks fan. Eagles overcome the reverse triple time zone, hipster adjustment factor hex and continue their march to a No. 1 playoff seeding in the NFC.  Another loss for Seattle and they still will not be in danger of falling out of playoff contention – mostly because the Panthers or Falcons must lose this week.  Heck, even the Cowboys-OTNAs winner this week will be within striking distance in the NFC.  The Eagles only problem may be clinching the NFC East too soon and relaxing a bit.  Which – all-in-all is not a bad problem to have.   Philadelphia 35 Seattle 21.

Your Zip Game of the Week:  Patriots over Bills.  Why not?  Red has sort of avoided the Pats this season because it just isn’t much fun picking them to win and picking them to lose is – well, usually a losing proposition.  But every team deserves a gander from Red during the season.  Pats top rated offense looks unstoppable right now.  Nothing short of divine intervention would keep them out of the AFC title game but for their pathetic defense.  But this is the era of offense.  Take the over at a hefty 49 – unless the weather looks iffy – then take the under.  New England 31 Buffalo 20.

Your Skunked Game of the Week: Dolphins over Broncos.  A well deserved spot in this week’s Shit Bowl for two failing franchises.  Sometimes there is just no point in analyzing these things.  So Red will simply give the usual warning to hide the Drano, Windex, Tidy-Bowl and Comet lest ye be tempted to mix up a deadly Tequila and house cleaner cocktail at halftime of this doleful dung duel.  That said, Red likes the under even at a lowly 38.5.  Beat that!  Miami 14 Denver 9.

Your Big 0 Game of the Week:  Ravens over Lions.  There is a huuuge difference between 7-5 and 6-6 entering December.  The team that wins this one has a real potential playoff path.  The loser has to count on a lot going wrong for other teams.  Nobody is scoring much on the Ravens right now, so Red likes the under at 40.  Baltimore 17 Detroit 14.

Hoo-hah.  Red rolled a strike last week going 6-0 on the straight up picks.  That brings your peerless prognosticator to 36-24 for the season.  Against the money line it was more like Ho-hum as Red went 3-3

Vikings -3  – paid $

Texans +11 – bust

Titans/Bengals over – paid $

Niners/Giants under – bust

Stealers -10 – bust

Panthers/Dolphins over – paid $

Answer to last week’s trivia:  Joe Gibbs won 17 playoff games in 16 seasons.

This week’s trivia:  Which NFL quarterback holds the record for most passing yards in a single game?

Your Flying Dutchman Pick of the Week:  Raiders over Patriots.  This is Red relying purely on the triple reverse time zone, inverse longitudinal shift, head-trip whack job all-in hex.  Everything else favors the Pats.  But Red dances with the one who brung him.  It’s a risky move and you are warned to not try this at home but Red is inclined to take the Raiders plus 7 playing at home against the Patriot Juggernaut.  Oakland 28 New England 27.

Your LA Rams Pick of the Week: Vikings over Rams.  The Rams could do no wrong last Sunday.  Of course, they were playing the hapless, rudderless, hopeless Texans. And the Rams have been playing pretty heady ball with the Goff and Gurley Show (sounds like a crack British comedy team) putting up an eye-opening 33 points per game and a better than expected defense  under the redoubtable Wade Phillips.  The Vikings, as said before, are doing it with smoke, mirrors and Case Keenum – but they are doing it.  Can we now admit that it was a mistake for the Texans to let CK go?  Red really likes the over at 46 here.  Minnesota 35 Los Angeles 30. .

Your Big Yards Pick of the Week: Eagles over Cowboys.  You can’t quite stick a fork in the Cowboys just yet, but you can prod them with your instant-read thermometer a little bit.  A win here solidifies the Eagles as the team to beat in the NFC.  Meanwhile, the Cowboys December swoon has apparently started early this year.  Without their designated girl-beater in tow, Red is again resurrecting the Red Rule – which as longtime  readers know is — Drum Roll — SCORE 13 POINTS AND BEAT THE COWBOYS! Red likes the Eagles to cover the 48.5 O/U all by their lonesome.  Philadelphia 50 Arlington 10.

Your Slinging Pick of the Week:  Titans over Stealers.  Red is sticking with his team of destiny in the AFC.  Nuff said.  Well not quite enough.  Since getting rolled and smoked by Deshaun Watson, the Titans are 4-1 having beat a plethora of bad teams and losing to the Dolphins.  This is the real playoff stretch drive test for the Titans. Beat the Stealers in Week 11 to go 7-3 and the playoffs are within your grasp with four patsies up next before ending the season at home with the Rams and a possible division deciding game against the Jaguars.   Take the Titans and 7.  Tennessee 23 Pittsburgh 17.

Your On a Wing and a Prayer Pick of the Week:  Falcons over Seahawks.  Losing Richard Sherman the week before playing the Falcons is very much like the proverbial taking of a knife to a gun fight.  Falcons are riding high after demolishing the Cowboys on Sunday.  The Seahawks will not be demolished but they may very well lose.  Here is the telling stat for the Seahawks – Russell Wilson is their leading rusher with 290 yards.   Red will go with the Falcons getting 3 on the road.  Atlanta 21 Seattle 20.

Your Weird Throwing Motion Pick of the Week:  Texans over Cards.  Simply put, someone has to win this week’s Shit Bowl.  The only good thing to come out of this season for Texans fans may be the overdue exit of Bill O’ the Clown as head coach.  Not sure if anything good is going to happen as a result of the Cards sucking gas.  Speaking of sucking gas, make sure all the gas outlets are secured, the valve at the meter is closed and all hand tools are safely out of reach, lest ye be tempted to stick your head in the oven after Tom Savage is sacked for the 7th time – in the first half if this turgid turd tussle.  The over/under is 43.5.  Are these guys paying the slightest bit of attention to the exact degree of suckitude that these two offenses are displaying right now?  Take the under.  Houston 13 Arizona 10.

Last week Red was off – way off – going 1-5 on the straight up picks.  He is now 30-24 for the season and definitely trending in the wrong direction.  That ends this week and Red is back on making some money line picks after checking his bank statement this week.  Take that however you will.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  The Pittsburgh Stealers won their 450th game since the 1970 merger on Sunday.  That puts them at the top of the total wins column by a decent margin.

This Week’s Trivia:  What NFL coach has the best playoff win to seasons coached ratio over the course of a more than 10 year career?

Your Hey Joe Pick of the Week: Rams over Texans.  Red got to witness the white hot fire that is Tom Savage in person last week.  In fairness to Tom, the Texans receivers couldn’t find an opening with a compass and when TS dropped back he had about 2.5 seconds of peace before all holy hell was at his doorstep.  That and a lot of rust – a lot of rust, doomed the Texans against a limp-dicked Colts squad.  Meanwhile on the West Coast, the Rams are real team – at least for the present.  Will they be able to manage that transition from the doormat/also-ran afterthought they have been for more than a decade to a playoff contender piquing real interest?  It is a hard transition when people start to expect you to win.  And a win this week is expected.  For that reason, Red likes the Texans + 11.  Los Angeles 24 Houston 20.

Your NASCAR Pick of the Week: Panthers over Dolphins.  Why is it so easy to forget that the Panthers are 6-3 and in the thick of it for the playoffs? Not to mention in the running for the best record in the NFC should the Eagles stumble down the stretch?  Why is it so easy to forget that the Dolphins have an offense?  Well it might have something to do with their dead-last point output of 14.5 per game.  Defense and special teams play has bailed them out so far and with a 4-4 record they are in the playoff hunt – well they’re sniffing the butts of the horses that the teams that are in the playoff hunt are riding. Hey, but that’s something!  This is a matchup of one excellent defense (Panthers) and pretty good defense (Dolphins) and thus, we have a troubling 39.5 O/U.  When expectations are that low, Red goes high – take the over and sit in your sweat lodge.  Carolina 28 Miami 14.

Your OTNAs Pick of the Week: Vikings over OTNA’s.  The good news for the OTNA’s is that they have beaten the Rams, Raiders, Niners and Seahawks.  The bad news is the only West Coast team left on the schedule is the Chargers.  Well that and that they don’t have to play the Eagles again.  The Vikings are doing it with smoke, mirrors and Case Keenum.  CK has been the leading passing in the Vikings games for the last six weeks.  Either he is tearing it up or the Vikes defense is giving holy hell to other team’s quarterback.  That streak may end this week with Kirk Cousins at the helm.  Red still likes the Vikings giving up 3 on the road.  Minnesota 31 Landover, MD 27.

Your Winning Pick of the Week: Stealers over Colts.  Colts had their game of the season last week – that is if you can call beating the hopelessly crippled Texans an achievement.  Stealers are for real – they are always for real it seems.  Take the Stealers giving up 10.  But don’t take it too far.  Pittsburgh 35 Indianapolis 13.

Your Playoff Drive Pick of the Week: Titans over Bengals.  Titans are definitely not living up to Red’s lofty expectations so far – but a 7-1 record down the stretch is not far fetched given the Titans remaining schedule.  Yes, they have to  play the Stealers and Rams but other than that it is games in the division and against the Niners and Cards.  They are still Red’s team of destiny.  The Bengals are on fast track to Nowheresville – which actually has some decent restaurants according to Yelp!  Red likes the over at 41 here.  Tennessee 29 Cincinnati 20

Your Flaming Turd Pick of the Week: 49ers over Giants.  One thing is clear, Eli Manning should have quit while he was behind.  His reasonably decent legacy is being tarnished by the ugliness of the current season.  Eli’s numbers are not awful but his team is.  Meanwhile in San Francisco – Red is convinced that if he keeps picking the Niners every week they will eventually win.  It isn’t working so far.  Take the under at 42 when these two old worn out used up warhorses meet.  Oh, and if you hadn’t guessed this one just might qualify for Shit Bowl of the Year.  So put away the drain cleaner just in case you are tempted to spike your bloody maria with a little Drano during the second quarter of this beastly bowel battle. Santa Clara 13 New Jersey 12.

Red was 3-3 last week and stands at 29-19 for the season.  Red laid off the money line last week and will do that again this week.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia.  The last time no NFL games were on TV was Sunday November 24, 1963.  All the games were played that week.  However, all of the networks were carrying wall to wall coverage of the assassination of Pres. Kennedy and its aftermath.  Commissioner Pete Rozelle called the decision to play games that Sunday the worst mistake of his career.

This Week’s Trivia Question:  Since the merger in 1970, which NFL team has won the most regular season and playoff games?

Your Winning Percentage Pick of the Week: Bills over Jets.  The Bills continue to surprise everyone – especially Red.  A bold move this week in picking up Kelvin Benjamin to shore up a weak WR corps shows that the Bills mean business about winning this season.  Bills will continue to win if ground game stays alive and passing game comes alive – even with a sad sack defense.  Jets, Shcmets.  Orchard Park 23 New Jersey 14.

Your Merger Pick of the Week: Falcons over Panthers.  The two biggest disappointments in the league match up here.  Ennui reigns.  Atlanta 13 Carolina 12.

Your Old AFL Team Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Cowboys.  A nice matchup of two teams that both used to play in Dallas.  Chiefs had enough sense to move far far away from Big D.  Will Ezekiel E. play?  Cowboys have yet to beat a good team with wins over Cards, Giants, Redskins and Niners.  Chiefs already have quality wins over Pats, Eagles and Texans (sort of).  Take the team that can beat a good team.  KC 35 Arlington 24

Your League Switching Pick of the Week: Texans over Colts.  If they can’t beat the Colts, the Texans need to pack it in and let the World Series Champion Houston Astros have all of the limelight.  Houston 45 Indianapolis 12

Your Old NFL Team Pick of the Week: Eagles over Broncos.  Eagles are Red’s team of destiny.  Broncos are reduced to starting Brock Osweiler.  Red actually expects BO to play decently, but not decently enough to overtake the red hot Eagles.  Philadelphia 32 Denver 25

Your Merge This Out Pick of the Week: Niners over Cardinals.  This week’s Shit Bowl is especially stinky with the crippled Cards taking on the hapless Niners.  The word is that Jimmy Garrapolo will not play after being cast aside like a used condom by the Patriots and banished to the land of the lost on the West Coast.  Red thinks he plays and takes the bit in his teeth.  Santa Clara 17 Arizona 3.

Last week Red was 3-3 again.  For the season Red is 18-12.  On the money line, it wasn’t so great a week:

Packers covered the spread and Red made good on the over – $ paid

Bengals covered the spread (barely) – $ paid

Buccaneers failed to cover the spread (barely) and missed wildly on the over – Bust

Giants/Chargers blew through the over – Bust

Answer to Last Weeks Trivia:  The final score was Bears 73 OTNAs 0 in the 1940 NFL championship game which set multiple records including largest margin of victory.  No other NFL team has hit the 70’s.

This Week’s Trivia:  Which player scored the most points in an NFL game?  Hint: You have to go back a long ways to find this one.

Your Chicago Connection Pick of the Week –  Bears over Ravens. Well, after more or less stating that he would never pick the Bears (as they keep finding new and imaginative ways to lose), Red is stretching this week to find an upset.  Ravens are favored by 7.  The 1-4 Bears need a win badly.  The 3-2 Ravens are surprising a lot of analysts (Red including) by not sucking.  Red will likely regret this one, but at least he won’t lead you down the wrong path by recommending any bets here.  Chicago 17 Baltimore 16.

Your Second Chicago Connection Pick of the Week – Buccaneers over Cardinals.  Jameis Winston seems to show up for work every other week.  Meanwhile, Carson Palmer seems to have gone into early retirement.  Well, early retirement would have been 3 years ago, but CP seems ready for the rest home now.  Bucs’ offense struggled against a weak Pats defense last week.  Look for a break out game against the ragged remnants of what used to be a top tier NFL defense.  Amazingly, the Cards are favored by a whole point!  Red thinks the Bucs cover that rather easily.  Tampa Bay 28 Arizona 17.   

Your Throw Down a 40 Pick of the Week – Saints over Lions.  See below re: Lions.  Saints have to win a few games this season.  Why not this one?  Saints are getting 4 points at home.  Take that and the under at 51.  New Orleans 20 Detroit 17. 

Your Extra Point Pick of the Week – Texans over Browns.  It was a sad Sunday night for Texans fans.  The majority of the mourning was for the loss of JJ Watt for the second season in a row.   Watt’s first 5 seasons in the league are the stuff of legends, but losing most of a second season in a row is putting what seemed to be a certain Hall of Fame career in doubt.  As longtime sports radio host Charlie Palillo says, “Attendance is part of the grade.”  Red was in the vast minority by being more upset about the loss of Whitney Mercilus.  WM is actually the more versatile player if not as disruptive as JJW.  Watt can be “replaced” with a defensive lineman.  Mercilus is a tougher proposition as he lines up in multiple positions.  Well, the tonic for tragedy is the Browns.  Texans are a heavy favorite, but Red is skeptical of giving up 12 points ever.  He is also skeptical of ever betting on the Browns to cover.  However, the over at 44 looks tempting given the number of points the Texans are putting up since Deshaun Watson took over – Dude is a scoring machine and he will have to be if the Texans are to win games with the loss of their top two defenders.   Houston 39 Cleveland 21.

Your Stanford Connection Pick of the Week – Titans over Colts.  Red is so far rather highly disappointed with the Titans who he picked to go 13-3.  Well that obviously aint happening.  And who gives up 57 points to the Texans anyway?  The defense righted the ship allowing only 16 points last week.  But the offense without Mariota is a rudderless wreck.  There is no line yet because of that unknown factor.  If Mariota is back, the Titans should roll.  If not, all bets are off.  Tennessee 21 Indianapolis 14.

Your Unparalleled Excellence Pick of the Week – Eagles over Panthers.  After encountering the high-powered Eagles offense last week, the once-vaunted Cardinals defense was carried off the field in a basket.  Meanwhile the Panthers were efficient in dispatching a Lions team unlikely to beat any team with a winning record at season end.  Expect the Panthers to put up a better fight than the hapless Cards, but the Eagles offense has Carson Wentz in full control and is averaging almost 400 yards per game.  Somehow the Eagles are getting 3 points.  This may be the betting opportunity of the season.  Double up on the Eagles and the over at 45.  Philadelphia 35 Carolina 24.