Our Poor Idiot Governor Gregg Abbott signed some new guns laws this week. Texas gun lovers will be glad to know a few new things they can do with their favorite toys:
For a full week after a natural disaster strikes, you can now openly or sneakily carry a handgun. Before you could only tote around your rifle, shotgun or Chinese made A-47 (When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf#(ker in the room – with apologies to Q. Tarentino). Red supposes this is supposed to allow folks to protect their property from looters. So great idea here – have a bunch of tired, upset and totally stressed out people who are grieving over the possible loss of family, friends and stuff armed and dangerous and licensed to kill. What could possibly go wrong?
Landlords can no longer ban guns in their apartment complexes. Red was once sitting in his friend’s apartment when the gun nuts next door accidentally discharged a .44 through the wall right next to where Red was sitting. They came running around in a panic with the exclamation, “We f#(ked up, man!” To which Red replied, “No shit!” Apartment walls will not stop a bullet. The stray one that very nearly took out young Red went through 3 walls. Brilliant legislating here.
Places of worship will now have to post the standard (and overly complicated) notice to ban guns from their premises. Red for one can’t wait to attend services at the Holy Ghost House of Prayer and Rifle Range. Our Father (Bam!), who art in Heaven (Bang!), hallowed be thy Glock (K-zing). Thy Smith&Wesson come (Boom!). Thy will be done on Earth as it is in the holy rifle range (Ackackackackack!). Give us this day our daily round of ammo (armor piercing please), and forgive us our missed targets (Zing!) as we forgive those who don’t load properly, and lead us not into poor marksmanship (Kboom), but deliver us from Commie gun haters (Bam, Bam!).
Something seems different this time. Maybe it is because of the articulate and formerly somewhat carefree students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas HS like Sam Zeif, Chris Grady, Jose Iglesias and Isabella Pfeiffer to name a few. Maybe it is because they are getting support from their parents and the community to try to make a difference this time. Maybe it is because people are truly scared. Maybe it because Americans are fed up with legislators running scared from the NRA. Maybe it is because enough is finally enough. Maybe it is because they are tired of hearing the one and only answer that comes from the bought and paid for GOP weasels in Congress and State Legislatures (and clearly some Democratic weasels as well to be fair). And that answer is as always – WE NEED MORE GUNS!.
That is what our Reality TV Show Sick Joke of a President proposed again yesterday with his preposterous plan to arm teachers. Only a complete fool could believe that having a gun in classrooms with our children is a good idea. Teachers across the nation have responded to Trump’s proposal with scorn, disbelief and derision.
Red supports more safety measures for schools. Sadly, we may need metal detectors and secure perimeters around our schools and we may need trained and armed licensed peace officers at every school. We need to severely restrict access to semi-automatics the same way we have done for automatic weapons since the 1930’s. We need background checks. We need mental health services. We do not need guns in the classroom.
We don’t need a President who has kowtowed to the gun lobby by rolling back a regulation that would have added people who are getting Social Security disability for mental problems to the list for background checks, who purged about 500,000 fugitives from the ATF list and changed the definition of fugitive to only include someone who has crossed state lines to avoid arrest under an outstanding warrant, who revoked a ban on lead ammo in federal wildlife refuges and made it easier for people to carry guns on public lands, who has proposed cutting millions of dollars from the national background check system. We need a President who doesn’t need notes (see photo) to instruct him on how to behave like a normal compassionate human being. We need lots of people with the courage to stand up to the gun lobby and say that finally “enough is enough.”
Unfortunately, Red doesn’t really think that this time will be different. A guy can hope though.
Vexatious litigant and embattled Attorney General Ken Paxton has filed another lawsuit to waste taxpayer dollars and deflect attention from his own considerable legal woes. Paxton is suing the City of Austin for an alleged violation of the state’s open carry law by banning guns from its city hall, according to the Austin American-Statesman. Red predicts that Mr. P will fail in his efforts to coerce Austin into complying with his Tea Party and NRA agenda. The language of the open carry law provides that guns can be prohibited in courts or “offices utilized by the court.” Austin’s city hall (and many others in Texas) frequently hold various types of court proceedings. Austin temple of local democracy, for example, hosts a community court for low-level offenders, and the City based its gun ban on that fact. Whether that’s actually a court is an open question. Three weeks ago, Paxton issued a non-binding AG’s opinion claiming there is no court in Austin’s city hall and threatened to sue Austin unless it blinked first. City officials apparently had little respect for the legal stylings of an indicted AG. Paxton, ever eager for a spotlight that will cement his Tea Party bona fides has now sued.
An individual or group going by the name of Hyperationalist has launched an on-line petition drive calling for the open carry of guns at the GOP National Convention in Cleveland. The Quicken Loans Arena does not allow guns, and the weapons enthusiasts are up in arms (pun intended) over the GOP choosing such a site for its convention. You can read the petition here and decide for yourself. Red supports the drive to turn the Quicken Loans Arena into the nation’s must be ready to fire zone. After all, what could possibly go wrong when well-armed Trump and Cruz supporters meet on the convention floor.
In fact, Red wants to take this one step further. Red has never been one to bring a knife to a gun fight, so Red is considering a competing petition which would require every last GOP delegate to be openly sporting a loaded weapon that is at least .22 caliber and preferably in the thirties. No gun – no admittance – and no vote.