Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Ted Cruz Skunked in New York

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Donald Trump mopped the floor with Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) on Tuesday on Trump’s home turf.  The Texas Tea Party hero finished a distant third behind Trump and Ohioan John Kasick and earned exactly ZERO delegates.  Trump made up all the ground that Cruz had fought hard for over the last month in one night and with a favorable calendar for the next two weeks, looks likely to very nearly close the deal by the end of April.   Another Trump sweep seems possible next week.   Cruz might have a chance to win Nebraska or maybe South Dakota, but his only real shot now is to muck up the works at the GOP National Convention, deny Trump a first ballot victory, and then sneak off with the nomination on a later ballot.  That might actually present the best-case scenario in Red’s opinion.

“How so?”, you ask.   If going to Cleveland Trump has – say 1200 delegates – close but no cigar, Cruz will do everything in his power to hold Trump just short.  If he succeeds and wins the nomination in a “contested convention”, the GOP will likely fracture, Trump may run as a third party candidate, Cruz will go down in ignominious defeat losing 49 states, never be heard from again as a serious national candidate, and maybe re-immigrate to Canada.  A guy can dream can’t he?

Today in Texas History – April 20

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From the Annals of the Singers – In 1924, Jules Lorenzo Cobb Bledsoe made his professional singing debut at Aeolian Hall in New York  under the sponsorship of impresario Sol Hurok. The  Waco-born African-American baritone was 27 at the time.  After graduating as valedictorian from  Central Texas Academy in Waco he earned a B.A. from Bishop College in Marshall.  He also attended Virginia Union College from 1918 to 1919, and studied medicine at Columbia University. Bledsoe’s first love, however, was music which he studied throughout his academic career.  Bledsoe sang with the Chicago Opera, and in New York, Amsterdam, Paris, Vienna and Brussels among others.  His best-known achievement, however, was his portrayal of Joe in Florenz Ziegfeld’s 1927 production of Jerome Kern’s Showboat. His interpretation of “Ol’ Man River” made the song an American classic. A highlight of his career was his performance in the title role for the European premiere, in Amsterdam, of Louis Gruenberg’s opera The Emperor Jones (1934). Bledsoe also wrote an opera, Bondage (1939), based on Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Sid Miller Uses Tax Dollars to Promote – Wait for It – Sid Miller

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Texas Politician Rips On Lawmakers With Passive-Aggressive Gas Pump Label

Red knows that many elected office holders will attempt to use their office to keep their name in front of the voters as much as possible and gratify their all-consuming egos.  You can’t go anywhere in Texas without finding a County Commissioner’s name on a sign within a half-mile.  But Agricultural Commissioner Sid “Cupcake” Miller is taking it to a higher level with his new stickers that every Texas gas station must place on fuel pumps.

The sticker is topped by Miller’s name in large print and then after a friendly “Howdy Neighbors!” (Red admires proper use of an exclamation point!), Sid goes on to disclaim responsibility for motor fuel taxes and make sure the driver knows that the dastardly U.S. Congress and Texas Legislature are to blame.

When asked why Miller’s name was so prominent on the new stickers, the Texas Agriculture deputy commissioner’s response was: “The individuals involved in the design are not currently in the office.”  If only the same could be said for Sid.

 

Texas Secession Picking up Steam – At Least Among Tea Partisans

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Delegates at the Texas GOP convention in June will get to debate the issue of Texas secession – an issue Red thought had been emphatically decided 150 years ago.  But not for the die-hard Tea Partisans who fancy themselves patriots.

A group called the Texas Nationalist Movement claims at least 22 county conventions have passed resolutions on a secession vote.  Pressure is mounting for the GOP to have what would likely be a very embarrassing vote on secession at the state convention.  The party avoided a controversy four years ago when according to the TNM only one such resolution passed.

Jared Woodfill, a Tea Party activist and candidate for the State GOP chairmanship, predictably weighed in on the side of the secessionists.  “I absolutely think the people should have an opportunity to vote on this issue,” said Woodfill according to the Houston Chronicle.  Current Texas GOP chairman Tom Mechler, was less enthusiastic.  “Republican is not even in their name,” Mechler said of TNM.  It would be nice if another Texas GOP official – ahem, Our Poor Idiot Governor for instance – would come out against secession.  Red wouldn’t hold his breath waiting for that.

So sedition may become an official part of the Texas GOP platform.  Red wonders how Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) views all of this since if Texas secedes it would seem he would be further disqualified from holding the job he now seeks so desperately.  Of course, if Cruz becomes president, all talk of secession will die.  But talk of impeachment will just be getting started.

Red Bitches

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As Red watched the flooding yesterday he wondered, “What in the hell is so important that you are driving through a street with almost 18 inches of water and what do you think you are going to do when you hit that patch of road where the water is 3 feet deep or more and then when you have to be rescued or abandon your car in the middle of the street are you going to apologize to your rescuers for being such a complete and total dumbass and swear that in the future you will listen to the smart people and just stay home or are you so f*#@ing stupid that you will probably do this again the next time it floods -like maybe tomorrow?”

Red realizes that some poor people were caught unawares, but there were plenty of folks hitting the road well after it became clear that the only thing to do was stay put.

Today in Texas History – April 19

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From the Annals of the Traveling Capital –  In 1837, Houston became the capital of Texas  two months before the community was actually incorporated as a city. The former Harrisburg had been founded by the Allen brothers only a year before and named after Gen. Sam Houston -hero of the Battle of San Jacinto. The capital remained on Buffalo Bayou until January of 1839 when Austin was approved as the new capital.

Photo of the building that served as the Capitol from mysanantonio.com.

Today in Texas History – April 18

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From the Annals of the Tejanos – In 1842, Juan Seguín resigned as Mayor of San Antonio due to threats on his life.   He was falsely accused of aiding the Mexican army and discrimination against Texans of Mexican origin – even those who served in the revolution –  became too oppressive.  He fled to Mexico to “seek refuge amongst my enemies,” where he was captured, arrested and coerced to enlist in the Mexican army as a staff officer. He returned to San Antonio with the opposition army of Adrian Woll  in September 1842 and in a cruel twist of fate later served under Santa Anna in the Mexican-American War of 1846–1848.

In February 1848, Seguín requested permission to return to Texas and eventually  established a home adjacent to his father’s house and began ranching in Floresville.  He also returned to political life and was elected to two terms as Justice of the Peace of Bexar County and later County Judge of Wilson County. In 1883 he settled in Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas to be near his son Santiago, who was mayor. He died there on August 27, 1890. His remains were returned to Texas in 1974 and as part of the nation’s Bicentennial celebration were reinterred in Seguin during ceremonies on July 4, 1976.

New York Has Cruz Problem Figured Out – Just Ignore Him

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The all-consuming ego of Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) took a hit last night when his speech was almost completely ignored by the crowd at a gala event at the Grand Hyatt in Midtown Manhattan.  After Donald Trump and even John Kasich got welcome receptions, the audience snubbed the brash Texan.  Cruz, trying to look gallant in a tuxedo (unsure if it was combined with cowboy boots), began with a joke in reference to Trump’s speech, which was mostly a detailed list of his various real estate and construction ventures. “I will admit to you, I haven’t built any buildings in New York City,” Cruz said.  As the say at the bullfights – Silencio.

Cruz did not fare any better with his standard stump speech – a diatribe that anyone paying attention to the GOP race has already heard multiple times.  But his scripted applause lines fell flat as most of the audience quickly stopped paying attention.  As Cruz droned on, the crowd grew increasingly loud and less interested in Cruz with many people talking amongst themselves, milling about, and eating and drinking.   It’s hard to say the crowd was anything other than rude to our Junior Senator, but then again, one might think that Ted must be used to people hating him by now.  However, for a complete narcissist like Cruz the worst possible thing is to be ignored.  He can only hope that the nation ignores his likely third place finish in New York.

Today in Texas History – April 15

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From the Annals of the French –  In keeping with this week’s museum theme, in 1956, the restored French Legation was opened to the public.  The site is in East Austin adjacent to the Texas State Cemetery.   France was the only country other than the United States to recognize the Republic of Texas.  France sent Jean Pierre Isidore Alphonse Dubois, from the French Legation in Washington, to be the chargé d’affaires  in Texas.  Dubois was instructed to to remain in Austin to maintain an official presence there.  The legation building was completed in 1840-1841, and probably was the finest structure in Austin at the time. Dubois entertained dignitaries (such as were available) and worked with the government to bring French settlers to Texas.  After the capital was temporarily moved from Austin, the legation was abandoned. It was then occupied by the Catholic Bishop of the Diocese  Galveston.  Dr. Joseph W. Robertson later bought the estate where he and descendants lived 1940. In 1945, the State purchased the site and gave custody to the Daughters of the Republic of Texas who established the French Legation Museum in 1949. The DRT restored the legation building and grounds and opened the site to the public on this date in 1956.  It is the oldest house in Austin.

Ted Cruz has Anti-Dildo Vote Locked Up

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Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) formerly served as the Solicitor General of Texas under then Attorney General and Greg Abbott.  As SG, part of Cruz’s job was to defend Texas laws when they were attacked in court.  So Red is a bit sympathetic with the Junior Senator (words you won’t read very often), as the attorney’s job is to advocate for his client.  But the time Cruz worked to defend the so-called “Anti-Dildo” law provides some insight into the workings of the brilliant legal mind of Cruz.  In 2004, several Austin sex-toy stores and a retail distributor of such products challenged the Anti-Dildo law which prohibited the sale and promotion of supposedly obscene devices.  A violation of the law was punishable by a prison term of up to two years.  Since the suit attacked the constitutionality of the law, the Attorney General’s office weighed in and Cruz presented a forceful defense of Texas’ right to keep it citizens free from the pernicious influence of the dastardly dildo peddlers.  David Corn at Mother Jones has the full story.

 The brief insisted that Texas, in order to protect “public morals,” had  “police-power interests” in “discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors.” There was a  “government” interest, it maintained, in “discouraging…autonomous sex.” The brief compared the use of sex toys to “hiring a willing prostitute or engaging in consensual bigamy,” and it equated advertising these products with the commercial promotion of prostitution. In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” That is, the pursuit of such happiness had no constitutional standing. And the brief argued there was no “right to promote dildos, vibrators, and other obscene devices.” The plaintiffs, it noted, were “free to engage in unfettered noncommercial speech touting the uses of obscene devices,” but not speech designed to generate the sale of these items.

Fortunately, Cruz lost this legal battle and Texas was spared from the horrors of a thriving dildo black market.  But if you are a squarely in the anti-dildo column, you have found your candidate.