Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Our Poor Idiot Governor

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The Texas Observer chronicles Gov. Greg Abbott’s first year in office and it is a sad tale of incompetent leadership, right-wing bluster, Tea Party sycophancy, and an apparent desire to do anything but the job he was elected to do.

Abbott has won real national attention for precisely three things this year: his Jade Helm letter, his personal war against Syrian refugees, and his bonkers proposal to rewrite the U.S. Constitution, which we may properly call the Articles of Gregfederation. In each case, the primary effect of his actions has been to make us look kinda dumb.

UT is Coming to Town

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The Houston Chronicle reports that the University of Texas system will in fact be making its presence known in Texas’ largest city.  UT will be paying $450 million over a period of 30 years for a 300 acre campus just south of the South 610 Loop.  The land is likely the largest open parcel that close to central Houston and is surrounded by several other slightly used tracts that could be used for expansion.  The purchase has raised outcries from University of Houston supporters who are feeling the heat of real Tier One university coming to town.  For a city its size, Houston is severely under-universitied. Houston has UH and Rice as major universities and then a small number of other players including UH-Downtown, the University of St. Thomas, Texas Southern University and Houston Baptist University.  Six real universities for a city of over 4 million is totally inadequate.  Red welcomes UT to town.  UT System Chancellor William McRaven said he wants to “astound people with our boldness.”

Perhaps this offends the powers that be at UH – who are more accustomed to astounding people with corruption and ineptitude.  If they had any vision, they would see that adding another major university center to Houston can only benefit UH by making Houston a university city and expanding opportunities for cooperation.  But they are too busy attempting to build walls to protect their fiefdoms, building expensive stadiums that are underutilized, and covering up any hint of scandal.

Today in Texas History – January 22

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From the Annals of the Presidency –  In 1973, former President Lyndon Baines Johnson passed away in Johnson City at the age of 64.  After deciding to not stand for re-election, LBJ went back his ranch in Central Texas.  According to many, LBJ worked as hard at ranching as he had as a politician.  The presidential biographer, Doris Kearns, observed Johnson working on the ranch with the same level of intensity he had tackled work in the Oval Office. Each morning, Johnson would instruct his ranch hands to make a “solemn pledge that you will not go to bed tonight until you are sure that every steer has everything he needs. We’ve got a chance of producing some of the finest beef in this country if we work at it.  And if we treat those hens with loving care we should be able to produce the finest eggs in the country.” He ordered daily reports on the production of eggs. To Kearns, Johnson’s frustration with his hens’ egg production echoed the frustration he experienced in failing to conclude an un-winnable war in Vietnam.

The ranch work could not conceal the fact that LBJ was, in his own words, miserable.  His legacy of accomplishment as the creator of a “Great Society” and in passing the landmark Civil Rights Act of 1964 was being overshadowed by the floundering war in Vietnam and the anti-war movement.

On the day of Richard M. Nixon’s inauguration, Johnson watched sullenly as Nixon announced the dismantling of many of Johnson’s Great Society social programs.  The next day, Nixon announced that he had achieved the ceasefire in Vietnam that had eluded Johnson. Johnson had reportedly predicted that he would die if his vision of the Great Society died. The following day, while Lady Bird and their daughters were in Austin, Johnson suffered a fatal heart attack.  He is buried in a family cemetery at the ranch.  One can only imagine what he would think about the likes of Trump and Cruz.

Photo from the LBJ Library

Is There Anything Ted Cruz Doesn’t Lie About?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) is now claiming that the “Washington Establishment” has determined Marco Rubio “can’t win this race” and consequently is “rushing over to support Donald Trump.” While campaigning in New Hampshire, Cruz laid down the following whopper:

“We’re seeing the Washington establishment abandoning Marco Rubio and unifying behind Donald Trump. And we’re seeing conservatives coming together and unifying behind our campaign. And if conservatives unite, we win.”

Exactly who is the “Washington Establishment” is anybody’s fair guess, but in Cruz’s opinion it seems to be anyone who doesn’t support him.  It seems to Red, however, that the WE is likely composed of current and former office holders that serve or served in the halls of Congress and elsewhere in good ol’ DC.

So let’s look at exactly how many current or former members of Congress have endorsed Donald Trump.   Fortunately for Red, he doesn’t have to look too far because the list is pretty damn short.  In fact, it’s not even a list because all of one – count him – one former Congressman, Virgil Short (VA) has endorsed Trump.  To give Ted the benefit of the doubt Red will also include one Jeff Lord, former White House associate political director for Reagan in 1987–88.  While Red is sure that Jeff is a great guy, Red doubts that Mr. Lord is swinging a big dick or a whole lot of votes towards the Donald.

And then we turn to Mr. Anti-Establishment himself.  How many current of former members of Congress has TC snared?  Drum roll please – 20 – including one former Senator!  Plus, Cruz has also snagged the endorsements of 7 former members of the Republican National Committee.  Curious how Mr. Cruz has failed to obtain the endorsement of a single one of his colleagues in the Senate, isn’t it?

But in Red’s opinion, the endorsement game is fought and won on the crazy celebrity battlefront.  Here, Trump is clearly coming out ahead with endorsements of such heavyweights as Mike Tyson (pun intended), Tia Tequila, Gary Busey, Dennis Rodman, Hulk Hogan, Ted Nugent, Lou “the Hulk” Ferrigno, and Wayne Newton.  Danke Schoen.

Poor Ted just can’t compete here, and thus is reduced to whining about the Washington Establishment.  What else can he do with a celebrity endorsement roster that features lightweights like Phil Robertson, James Woods and R. Lee Ermey?

Red’s NFL Picks – Conference Championships

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“The stash of games is getting low.”

Said many years ago by an old stoner friend of Red’s (who loved football almost as much as he liked the weed). Indeed, it is. Indeed, it is.

Red Rates Himself – For Round 2 of the Playoffs Red was 2-2. For the season Red is now 58-46. Omaha, Omaha.

Your Rocky Mountain High Pick of the Week: Broncos over Patriots. Red is breaking tradition and all the rules by picking the Broncos – even though the Patriots were his preseason AFC Champ. If this game were in Foxboro, Red would call it the other way. If you didn’t notice, every home team won last week and every game was a “one score” game in that one score by the losing team would have won or tied the game. Red expects the same this weekend. There will be no blowouts of the last teams standing but the home field advantage in this type of game is enormous. The Patriots strategy last week was to pretend like the solid front 7 of the Chiefs defense simply did not exist and throw, throw some more and keep throwing the entire game. There was a mere pretense of a running game – not surprising since the Pats were down to retired retread Steven Jackson as their main option in the backfield. No knock on Jackson who had a solid career but expecting him to come out of retirement a couple of weeks before the playoffs and rush for 100 yards is a little much even for the Pats. That strategy will not work against the best defense in the league. Miller, Ware, Jackson and Wolfe will be turned loose on Brady. Pressure will be the key. So what will Belicheat pull out of the hat this week in the face of the team who gets after the QB better than anyone else? If Red knew that he wouldn’t be working for a living.   Red expects the Broncos’ sputtering offense will need to score 24 to win and they can do that with smart game management and a decent game from the disappointing C.J. Anderson. The Broncos need at least 130 yards on the ground and the clock chewing that entails, if they are going to win. And PMS needs to not suck – a tall order right now. Red likes the Broncos plus 3, but the O/U at 44.5 scares him. Denver 24 New England 23.

Your Wildwood Weed Pick of the Week: Panthers over Cardinals. Cardinals surprised Red last week. He thought that the Packers wild finish would finish off a team that had to be wondering “What the Hell just happened?” But Larry Fitzgerald put an end to Red’s dream of correctly picking both Superb Owl teams – so now he hates them. On the other side, the Panthers have simply been the best team in the league all season. Notwithstanding the Seahawks furious comeback in the second half, what the Panthers did to the Hawks in the first half ought to be illegal. Red expects a similarly fast start to this one – again followed by a spirited rally that falls short. And although, Red would desperately like to see the first ever all Mountain Time Zone Superb Owl (with the only two teams that could possibly make that happen), he can’t go against a Carolina team that has bested all comers but one – and looked pretty snappy doing so. Red likes the Panthers giving up 3 and the over at 44.5.   Carolina 35 Arizona 29.

Today in Texas History – January 21

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From the Annals of Stupidity –  In 1856, the American or Know-Nothing party of Texas came out of the closet and met for the first time in open convention in Austin. The party was formed by the members of the xenophobic, racist and anti-Catholic secret society known as the American Order. The origin of the “Know Nothing” term was in the semi-secret organization of the party. When a member was asked about its activities, he was supposed to reply, “I know nothing.” Outsiders called them “Know-Nothings”, and the name stuck. In 1855, the Know-Nothings first entered politics as the American Party.  The Texas Know-Nothings, led by Lieutenant Governor David C. Dickson – a former Democrat, attempted to gain control of the State.   Dickson was the candidate for governor.  Most members and Know-Nothing candidates continued to deny that they were members of the American Order.  The campaign was helped by Sam Houston who drafted a public letter endorsing the principles of the American Order. In the August election, incumbent Democratic governor Elisha M. Pease defeated Dickson.  However, the Know-Nothings had other successes.  The voters elected Lemuel D. Evans to Congress and won several seats in the state house.  The party was short-lived coming apart over the issue of slavery.  By 1857, the Know-Nothings had virtually ceased to exist in Texas.

Image of David Catchings Dickson.

Paxton Declares Daily Fantasy Football to be Illegal Gambling

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Embattled Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton threw down the gauntlet on another front on Tuesday when he issued a non-binding opinion declaring daily fantasy football to be illegal gambling as defined under Texas law.  Paxton’s office issued an opinion in response to a request from Rep. Myra Crownover asking whether daily fantasy leagues such as DraftKings and FanDuel were illegal, and whether fantasy sports leagues where the house does not take a rake and the participants wager only among themselves are legal.

The issue turns on the application of Chapter 47 of the Texas Penal Code which prohibits betting on the outcome of sports games or contests or the performance of a participant in a game or contest.  The crux of Paxton’s opinions revolves around the question of whether participating in a commercial daily fantasy league constitutes a bet.   Paxton concludes that because there is an element of chance in those games, then regardless of the skill level involved in picking particular players, participants are placing a bet when they participate in fantasy football.  Therefore, Paxton concludes that commercial daily fantasy football is illegal gambling in Texas.

With respect to the more traditional season-long fantasy leagues where the participants are betting against each other and the house does not take a rake, Paxton concludes that such leagues fall under an exception to the illegal gambling laws.

“Under this statutory framework, odds are favorable that a court would conclude that participation in paid daily fantasy sports leagues constitutes illegal gambling, but that participation in traditional fantasy sport leagues that occurs in a private place where no person receives any economic benefit other than personal winnings and the risks of winning or losing are the same for all participants does not involve illegal gambling.”

In other words, Paxton is going long on the courts finding that your friendly workplace fantasy football league is okay.  Red predicts that this non-binding decision – more than his other well-documented legal problems – will hurt Paxton’s chances for re-election.

Today in Texas History – January 20

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From the Annals of Roundball – In 1968, Houston ended UCLA’s 47-game winning streak with a 71-69 victory at the Astrodome before 52,693 fans. The so-called “Game of the Century” was the first basketball game played in the Eighth Wonder of the World and set a NCAA attendance record. It was also the first NCAA regular season game broadcast nationwide in prime time through a syndication package.

Houston and UCLA had met the previous season in the semifinals of the 1967 tournament with the Bruins winning 73–58 and moving on to win the national championship for the third time in four years.  Houston Coach Guy Lewis wanted a rematch and sold the game to UCLA’s John Wooden as something that would be good for all of college basketball.

The biggest match-up of the game featured Center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (then Lew Alcindor) for the Bruins against Forward Elvin Hayes of the Cougars.  Although they did not play directly against each other, Hayes did block 3 of KAJ’s shots bringing cries of “E” from the crowd.  KAJ had suffered an eye injury the week before and turned in the worst performance of his college career.  The two teams would meet again in the NCAA tournament semi-final.  UCLA exacted revenge stomping the Cougars 101 to 69 and going on to beat North Carolina in the final.

Sports Illustrated cover from Pristine Auctions.

Tommy Tipton – Lotto Swindler and Bigfoot Hunter?

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Fayette County Justice of the Peace Tommy Tipton resigned his judicial office in the wake of the scandal surrounding the arrest and conviction of his brother Eddie Tipton for rigging lottery results.  Eddie, the former Director of Security for the Multi-State Lottery Association, is out on bond following his conviction for fraud after attempting to claim a $16.5 million jackpot in Iowa.  But Eddie’s legal problems do not end there.  He faces another Iowa  trial on charges of ongoing criminal conduct and money laundering related to jackpots in other states.  But what does all of this have to do with Bigfoot?

Let Red fill you in.  Iowa prosecutor Rob Sand has asked a judge to bar any discussion of Bigfoot hunting at Eddie’s upcoming trial.  It appears that brother Tommy and two other friends possibly involved in the unfolding scandal are Bigfoot Hunters.

Sand’s motion noted that Tipton is or was a member of the Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization — a group dedicated to searching for Bigfoot and relatives in Southern states whose members “prefer to keep a low profile, due to the repercussions from their peers or employers.”  The GCBRO, however, has distanced itself from Tipton and the lottery scandal.  A spokesman for the group indicated that it hasn’t had a confirmed Tommy Tipton sighting in years.  “It’s been right at, or nearly 15 years since any of us, has conversed with him in any way, shape or form,” founder Bobby Hamilton said.