Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Today in Texas History – October 15

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Davy Crockett portal sign.

From the Annals of the Piney Woods – In 1936, President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the establishment of the Davy Crockett National Forest.    The national forests in Texas were initiated by an act of the Texas legislature in 1933 authorizing the purchase of lands for the national forest system.  The DCNF is administered by the United States Department of Agriculture Forest Service local headquarters in Lufkin.  It contains a total of 161,842 acres, with 94,481 acres in Houston County and 67,361 acres in Trinity County. The national forests are managed on a multiple-use philosophy and are used for lumbering, grazing, oil production, hunting, and recreation. DCNF which is bordered on the northeast by the Neches River, includes the 45-acre Ratliff Lake. The area is pine-hardwood woodlands with flat to gently rolling terrain. Recreational facilities at this national forest include a bathhouse, camping and picnicking areas, boat ramps, and hiking trails.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 6

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Red’s NFL Picks – Week 5

“Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen, soccer is a gentlemen’s game played by beasts and US football is a beastly game played by beasts.”

Henry Blaha

Then what the hell is Australian Rules Football?

Red Rates Himself – Last week 5-1. For the season 23-7. Breathe on knuckles, rub on chest.

Your Beast of the East Pick of the Week: Patriots over Colts. Betting against the Patriots right now is like hitting on 19 when the dealer is showing a 10. You are going to lose. A team that makes LaGarrette Blount (aka the Fat Pig) look like a Pro-Bowl running back has so many tricks under the hoodie that you can’t even begin to imagine what they might pull out next. Meanwhile, the Colts may just have to be considering whether Matt Hasselbeck might be the answer to making this season relevant in the downbeat AFC South. So far the 40-year old husband of Fox & Friends star Elizabeth Hasselbeck (and if you haven’t watched Fox & Friends you are missing out on some great comedy as it features 2 of the stupidest people to ever appear on TV – but Red digresses) has been a better player than A. Luck, but Red doubts that Tony the Pagan would have the nerve to make that call. Well, this week it doesn’t matter. The Patriots are rolling along and the Colts are just another bump in the road. Red would take the Pats if they were giving away 20 – at minus 7.5 it seems like a no-brainer and that is when you have to watch out. The over is a hefty 55 which may be the largest number all season and to be avoided on principle. New England 44 Indianapolis 13.

Your Bigfoot Pick of the Week: Panthers over Seahawks. Loyal readers know that Red rarely ignores the triple reverse time zone, inverse latitudinal hex factor at work against the Panthers this week. But, rules are made to be broken. Red picked the Seahawks to make the playoffs but they are playing scared right now. There is no way the Panthers (even at 5-0) should win this one, but they appear to be in the running for Red’s 2015 “Team of Destiny”. If that don’t jinx ‘em nothing will. Red won’t touch this one, but hypothetically he would take Panthers plus 7 and seriously consider the under at 41. Carolina 19 Seattle 17.

Your King Kong Pick of the Week: Bengals over Bills. Another decent candidate for NFL Game of the Week and tops on Red’s personal viewing list this week. Red Rifle has another chance to show his chops against yet another vaunted defense. If the Bengals win this one and RR looks even halfway decent, he will started getting some run in the elite QB conversation. The way Red looks at it – if Tony Romo is elite then how is the Red Rifle not? Bills defense is still troublesome, but the offense is merely troubled. Who starts this week with Taylor possibly out? Red doesn’t like the Bengals giving up 3.5. Paradoxically, Red doesn’t’ like the Bills getting 3.5. You figure it out. Cincinnati 27 Buffalo 24.

You’re Gargantuan Pick of the Week: Titans over Dolphins. Among the many candidates for this week’s Shit Bowl, but still unworthy. Mariota all but disappeared in last week’s loss to Buffalo but still had 100 yards more passing than Taylor (187 to 76). The Titans are coming off of two losses by a total of three points – so the 1-3 record is a bit deceiving. There is nothing deceiving about the abysmal Dolphins who are bad on both sides of the ball and have no running game. Titans must win this one to keep pace with the rest of the god-awful AFC South – a task which resembles keeping up with a two-legged dog. Red will take the over at 43.  Tennessee 29 Miami 21.

Your Chupacabra Pick of the Week: Cardinals over Stealers. This is your surprising NFL Game of the Week. Other than the blowout win against the Niners, the Stealers have been down to the wire in every game this season with each game decided by a score or less. On the other hand, except for the close loss to the Rams, the Cards have been spanking every team they have faced winning by an average of 25 points.   The Stealers won’t let that happen, but will struggle to keep up with the high-flying Cardinals offense.   With tired old Michael Vick under center, the Stealers must rely on Le’Veon Bell to carry the ball 35 times and eat some clock. He is certainly capable of doing that – even against the Cards outstanding defense. But it won’t be enough. The Cards have just enough to overcome a pesky Stealers team playing for a wildcard berth. Red likes Cardinals giving up 3 on the road, but won’t touch the over/under at 44.5. Arizona 26 Pittsburgh 21.

Your Gog and Magog Pick of the Week: Texans over Jaguars. This week’s Shit Bowl could have gone to so many games with deserving entrants – Titan/Dolphins, Ravens/Niners, Bears/Lions, to name a few. But the Texans and the Jaguars get the dishonor this week. The Texans keep finding ways to lose no matter who is guiding the ship. Past and future starter Brian Hoyer relieved the hapless Ryan Mallett last week, and even rallied the troops before throwing an awful last minute pick to sink the Texans ship against the struggling Colts. And what can you say about the Jags – who started their franchise like a house on fire making the playoffs in 4 of their first 5 seasons, played for two AFC Championships, but who have not posted a winning record since 2007. If the Texans can’t get a win here, pack it in and play for the No. 1 pick – again. Red would be a fool to recommend any bets here. Lock up the guns and ammo lest ye be tempted to blow a hole in the brand new 65 incher at the two minute warning of this pathetic poop party. Houston 19 Jacksonville 14.

Texas JP Under Suspicion of Participating in Lottery Fraud

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Fayette County Justice of the Peace Tommy Tipton may soon be at the center of an investigation into Lottery fraud involving his brother Eddie Tipton.  JP Tommy cashed a $568,990 on a Colorado Lotto ticket he purchased in November 2005 – which would not have been a problem except for the fact that brother Eddie was running a cheat the lottery operation.  Eddie Tipton used his position as an official for the Multi-State Lottery Association to install a self deleting computer program to create a winning ticket for himself.  Officials are now wondering if JP Tommy’s winning ticket was on the up and up or was a part of his brother’s scheme. The Austin American Statesman has more.

An audacious, movie-worthy lottery rigging scandal that has rocked Iowa is now spreading into other states — including Texas. The Hot Lotto mess does not involve the state-run Texas Lottery. But officials have begun to look closer at a $570,000 winning multi-state lotto ticket purchased a decade ago by a Central Texas judge.

No charges have been filed against Tommy Tipton, Fayette County Justice of the Peace for Precinct 3, based in Flatonia. Records from the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement show he has held a state peace officer license since 1986, and until two weeks ago worked as a reserve officer for the Flatonia Police Department.

Tommy is also the brother of a former official for the Multi-State Lottery Association named Eddie Tipton, who police say orchestrated a bold plan to rig lotto computers to select the numbers on jackpot tickets he’d purchased. Now, recently filed legal documents raise the question of whether Judge Tipton benefited from his brother’s scheme.

According to local media reports, Eddie Tipton’s scam began unraveling five years ago, when a New York lawyer tried to claim a $14.3 million Iowa jackpot only hours before it was set to expire. The attorney claimed to represent a Belize corporation, however, lotto officials refused to pay it out because state law requires a winning ticket’s purchaser and possessor to be identified. Later, others, including a Houston man who is a close friend of Eddie Tipton’s, also tried to collect on the ticket, which ultimately was never paid out.

Red Reviews the Dems

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Red watched as much of the Democratic Presidential Debate as he could stand last night.  If it weren’t for the awful performance of the GOP candidates in their debate, Red would have to be even harsher in his criticism of these five.  Here goes:

Hillary Clinton –  Is there anything that does not make Hillary want to break into her bland Midwestern smile?  Terrorism – smile.  Our dead diplomats in Benghazi  – smile.  Email scandal – smile.  Police shootings – smile.  It is somewhat unnerving to have a candidate who apparently finds everything at least somewhat amusing.  Red will say this – Hillary’s makeup people are incredible.  She looked 40 years old last night; which is also a little unnerving.  What does come through is that while Hillary is polished and professional, she really believes in nothing other than Hillary and will do or say whatever she thinks will get her elected.  Not exactly what Red is looking for in a candidate.

Bernie Sanders – We have no doubt about what Bernie stands for and that he will go down with that ship.  There is no doubt about his passion for working to improve things for ordinary Americans and attacking the oligarchs of Wall Street.  But will that ever sell with enough of the American electorate?  It seems doubtful, and one can only imagine the right-wing attack dogs that would come out of every hole and corner were Bernie to actually get the Democratic nod.  But at least someone is talking about the issues that the others are dodging.  Still, Bernie comes across as the crotchety old economics professor who knows better than everyone else and by gum is going to tell you about it.

Martin O’Malley – Martin might be getting some serious traction if all the air in the room were not being sucked up by Hillary and Bernie.  Looks Presidential – never a bad thing – but hardly enough to want to vote for him.  Martin made no real mistakes, but neither did he score much.  He was impressive on the Iraq war fiasco and explaining where Hillary and others went wrong.  He has a better track record of executive decision-making experience than the other four candidates combined, but that apparently is not impressing anyone right now.

Jim Webb – Desperately trying to get noticed and complaining about your lack of screen time will not help your cause in a big time debate.  Red will say this – when the shit hits the fan, Webb is the only one of this group that seems like he would know exactly what to do.  But what a stiff performance he gave last night.  You want someone as your President who you actually might like, not someone who looks ready to apply a choke-hold at any moment.

Lincoln Chaffee – Don’t remind us that you only became a U.S. Senator because your father passed away.

Overall, Red was unimpressed.  The debate was at least civil – no Ted Cruz throwing bombs at everyone but Trump.  But it lacked a pulse for much of the evening.

Today in Texas History – October 14

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From the Annals of  Gun Safety (or Lack Thereof) – In 1867,  Lt. James Pike died during an Indian attack on his unit.  When Indians attacked Pike’s unit at dinner, the lieutenant seized his rifle and rushed to the defense. The rifle jammed, however, and in his frustration he smashed the barrel on a nearby rock, whereupon the gun discharged and killed him bringing an ignominious end to his rather distinguished career.  Pike was the son of an outspoken newspaper editor.  He arrived in Austin in 1859 and attempted to get a job as a printer.  When that failed, he joined John Henry Brown’s company of Texas Rangers at Belton. For the next two years he took part in a series of campaigns against the Comanches. When Texas seceded from the Union,  Pike left the Rangers and went north, where joined the Fourth Ohio Cavalry. Pike saw considerable action as a scout, spy, and courier in Gen. William T. Sherman’s army.  Pike was captured in 1864 and imprisoned in Charleston, South Carolina, then escaped and returned to Hillsboro, Ohio, where he wrote his memoirs of ranger and army service.  After the war, Pike obtained a commission as a second lieutenant in the First United States Cavalry and was later promoted to first lieutenant.

Pike’s memoirs were published in 1865 as The Scout and Ranger: Being the Personal Adventures of Corporal Pike, of the Fourth Ohio Cavalry.

Today in Texas History

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From the Annals of Flight – In 2014, the Wright Amendment expired.  The amendment was passed in 1979 and named after former House Speaker Jim Wright.  It was intended to protect the newly opened DFW International Airport from competition fueled by flights from upstart Southwest Airlines at Dallas Love Field.  The Wright Amendment restricted flights from Love Field to neighboring states.  Southwest and other airlines were prohibited from flying out of Love Field to anywhere other than New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana.  The restriction prevented any substantial investment in the facilities at Love Field and while convenient the airport remained mired in the 1960’s.  That will soon change with the Love Field Modernization Project.

Red Keeps Streak Alive

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Yesterday, Red kept his streak of never having seen the Houston Astros win a post-season game alive.  The Astros collapse yesterday came 35 years to the date after Red attended his first ever MLB playoff game when the Astros faced the Phillies in Game 5 of the 1980 NL Championship series.  Remarkably, in both games the opposition scored 5 runs in the top of the 8th to wrest control from the Astros.

The 1980 game seemed in complete control entering the 8th inning.  A three run lead with Nolan Ryan on the mound seemed insurmountable. But the Phillies were made of sterner stuff. They loaded the bases with nobody out on three cheap singles, including an infield hit by Bob Boone and bunt Greg Gross.  Ryan walked in a run and then the floodgates opened.  The Astros rallied to tie in the bottom of the 8th, but back to back doubles in the 10th secured the win for the Phillies.

Red was also there for Game 5 of the NLCS in 2005 when Albert Pujols hit a rocket off of Brad Lidge to win the game.  The stink of that loss was erased when the Astros pummeled the Cards in Game 6 to advance to their first World Series.

Red also witnessed two other losses to the Braves in various series included the heart-breaking loss in the last game ever played at the Astrodome in 1999.

Yesterday’s game featured a seemingly interminable top of the 8th.  It was reported to have lasted 41 minutes but it seemed like more than an hour watching the slow steady implosion.  The Astros best chance to staunch the bleeding was lost when Kendrys Morales punched a ground ball that skipped off the mound, glanced off pitcher Tony Sipp’s glove and then was whiffed by shortstop Carlos Correa.  Correa’s error allowed two runs to score and the game was tied.  Alex Gordon pushed what proved to be the winning run across the plate on a ground-out fielder’s choice and the Astros were done.

The toll of the damage from the top of the 8th inning:

5 runs

5 hits

1 error

3 Astros pitchers

11 Royals batters

53 pitches

41 minutes

Red will not be allowed to attend any more games this season.

A Texan Should be Speaker

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Considering the outsize influence Texas has in the current GOP domination of Congress, it only makes sense that a Texan should be Speaker of the House.  And at least three Texas Representatives seem willing to step forward if Paul Ryan (now allegedly too liberal – if you can believe that – to be Speaker) decides to decline to run.  The Texas Tribune indicates that Bill Flores (TP-Bryan), Michael McCaul (R-Gerrymanderland), and Mike Conaway (TP-Midland) are all interested in the job.  All would be midgets following in the Texas-sized footsteps of Congressional giants and former Texas Speakers Sam Rayburn, John Nance Garner and Jim Wright, but at least they would be Texas midgets.

 U.S. Rep. Bill Flores, R-Bryan, said Monday he intends to seek the gavel of the United States House of Representatives if his colleague, Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, doesn’t.

Though GOP lawmakers have been urging Ryan to run as a consensus candidate, Flores said in an interview with The Texas Tribune that he spoke to Ryan on Sunday.

“I don’t want to share private conversations, but he was still a ‘no’ as of yesterday when I spoke to him,” Flores said. 

If Flores is to succeed, he will need the 25-member Texas House delegation behind him. That’s no certainty yet, given  possible home state competition. U.S. Rep. Mike Conaway, R-Midland, has said he will consider running for speaker if Ryan opts against a run. U.S. Rep. Michael McCaul is also mulling a run, a source close to him confirmed. 

Where we are now is, what we’ve agreed is that we’re going to hold our powder dry,” Flores said of his fellow Texans. “And then we’ll see which Texan gets the most traction, and the thinking is today that we’ll coalesce around one Texan eventually.” 

The race is complicated by the Gang of Forty ultra-right wingers who are making outsized demands as a condition of support for any candidate for Speaker.  So right now we have about 10% of the Congress who represent the most far-right lunatic fringe of what used to be a mainstream political party controlling who will hold the third most powerful position in American government.  If Ryan bails, Flores might just be the man.  First, he apparently doesn’t understand the meaning of a private conversation which positions him well to betray anyone who strays from the Tea Party line.  And second, he is apparently willing to kowtow to the Gang of Forty demands of ideological purity at the expense of actually governing.