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A Presidential (and Vice-Presidential)History Lesson

Becoming President of the U.S.A. should be a difficult task.  Only a select few are worthy of the office by dint of their accomplishments, instincts and intellect and also have sufficient belly-fire to make it happen.  Some are worthy but lack adequate belly-fire (Paul Tsongas and John McCain come to mind) and some unworthy have sufficient belly-fire (Pat Buchanan and George Wallace) but could hardly be less worthy.  There are exceptions where belly-fire can overcome the defects in worthiness (e.g. Trumph – the Insult Comic President’s stomach is perpetually aflame it would seem while being perhaps the most vile and disgusting human yet to occupy the office).   And extreme worthiness can make up for an absence of an inferno in the gut (oddly Grant who never lacked belly-fire on the battlefield fits this mold because of his impressive but rather ordinary worthiness and his general indifference to politics).

And then there are the accidents.  Nine of our forty-five have become President through death or assassination or disgrace –  Tyler, Fillmore, A. Johnson, Arthur, T. Roosevelt, Coolidge, Truman,  L.B. Johnson and Ford.  Another handful have played on family connections – J.Q. Adams, B. Harrison and Bush the Younger.  But the easiest path to the Presidency is clearly through the Vice-Presidency.  As it stands, you have a 20% chance of becoming President if you can make it to No. 2.  Which brings us to the point.

As in most human matters, there are no hard and fast rules and it will be interesting to see who emerges to challenge Trump. Given the expansive field it will likely be someone worthy and more than sufficiently fired up for combat.  But of critical importance (to the nation but probably not the outcome) will be the choice of a running mate.  The choices run towards an incompetent ideologue who might fire up the base (Pence is the exemplar here) or a possibly exciting but unpredictable newcomer (the stench emanating from McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin has yet to clear the room) or a ticket balancer (something that almost never works – ask dead Lloyd Benson) or a steadfast old hand (such as Hubert Humphrey).  Even so, the choices are frequently bizarre.  For example, how did a steady hand like Eisenhower land on a young Congressman from California like Nixon?

At this moment in time, if she doesn’t manage to win the nomination, Red thinks the odds-on favorite has to be Kamala Harris.  She is steady, smart and ready for prime-time.

UT Austin Announces Free Tuition Plan

Red received this in his inbox today from University of Texas President Gregory L. Fenves:

Dear Longhorns,
I’m writing today with great news. The UT System Board of Regents — under the leadership of Chairman Kevin Eltife — has voted unanimously to establish a $160 million endowment to expand financial aid for middle- and low-income UT Austin students beginning next year.

Starting in fall semester 2020, in-state undergraduate students with need from families that earn up to $65,000 a year will receive financial assistance to completely cover their UT tuition as part of our Texas Advance Commitment. And students with financial need from families with incomes of up to $125,000 will also receive some amount of assured financial aid.

Half of the families in Texas earned less than $60,000 in 2017. So, today’s expansion of the Texas Advance Commitment program means that beginning in 2020, we will be able to cover the tuition for eligible undergraduate students from families earning at or slightly above the median household income level.

This action by the Board of Regents is an investment in the future of our students. It is also one of the largest commitments ever made to improving college affordability among the nation’s leading public research universities. I thank the Board of Regents for their decision today. And I am especially grateful to Chairman Eltife for prioritizing Texas students.

This is an important day for The University of Texas at Austin. You should be proud. I couldn’t be prouder.

Red is proud.  This is a big deal for many Texas families.   When Red and friends went to state schools in Texas (way back in the day) it was for all practical purposes free.  If you couldn’t scrape up the $250 or so per semester to pay for your tuition and fees, you weren’t really trying very hard.  Usually, the books cost more – but you could buy used and trade them back in at the end of the semester.  We were the lucky ones.  Thanks to previous Poor Idiot Governors (Rick Perry Red is calling you out) – tuition increases at state schools have strained budgets for many Texas families.  And the fact is – the UT System has had the money to do this for many years. It was way overdue.  Nonetheless, better late than never.

The Terrorist Living Right (Wing?) Next Door

Despite reports that the FBI and other agencies have been directed to deemphasize their investigations into Right-Wing Terrorism in the U.S. (which is a major problem), a Texas woman, Julia Ann Poff (very close to Poof Red notes), has pleaded guilty to placing bombs in the mail.  Her targets were a bit diverse as she sent bombs to  Obama and Our Poor Idiot Governor.  The moral of the story is that it is the crazy alt-right nutjob with an axe to grind that is more likely to do you in than your garden-variety Islamic terrorist.  The Houston Chronicle has more.

A Brookshire woman pleaded guilty Monday to mailing then President Barack Obama a homemade explosive, which was traced back to her through cat hair stuck on the box’s packaging.

The bomb was one of three that Julia Ann Poff, 47, admitted sending to public officials, according to court records. In her plea, she also acknowledged sending similar packages to Gov. Greg Abbott and the then-acting Social Security administrator, whose agency had apparently denied her disability benefits, documents show.

The boxes contained victim-activated improvised explosive devices, or IEDs, according to the FBI Houston field office.

The box was intercepted on Oct. 6, 2016 at the Bolling Air Force Base in Maryland. FBI exlosives experts examined the small, flat rate box and identified it as a homemade bomb, officials said.

The package included a micro-USB cable box, a cell phone, hobby fuse, matches, paper wadding, plastic sacks, sandpaper and two 20-ounce coke bottle caps, plus pyrotechnics and smokeless powder, according to the FBI.

An investigation linked the box [sent to Obama] to Poff or her husband, partly because investigators found cat hair under a taped address label, “microscopically consistent” with hairs taken from Poff’s gray cat, named Ash.

Poff’s daughter told authorities that the phone in the box was her old cell phone, which was last seen in August or September of 2016 in their home’s garage . Poff’s debit card was also connected to the micro-USB box.

That September the governor opened a box containing a box explosive stuffed in a cigarette pack, but it did not blow up because Abbott failed to open it as designed.

Poff was upset with Abbott because she had not received child support from her ex-husband, according to federal court documents. Her frustration withthe governor stemmed from a legal battle with the Texas Attorney General’s Office, which began when Abbott was the attorney general.

“Crazy Train” aka the Trump Reality TV Show Joke of a Presidency

Ozzy Osburne (through wife Sharon) has demanded that Trump immediately stop using his classic 1980 hit “Crazy Train.”  Trump (or the usual sycophants) had played the song over a clip of the Democratic Debate.   Now if Trump wanted to use the song for his own campaign or to characterize his presidency, Red thinks Ozzy could hardly object.

The song lyrics (complete with Red commentary):

Crazy, but that’s how it goes (crazy like a fox – like an old orange demented fox)
Millions of people living as foes (except the Russians of course)
Maybe it’s not too late (9:00 am tee time)
To learn how to love and forget how to hate (but what would the GOP be without hate? A bunch of old white guys mumbling in their coffee?)

Mental wounds not healing (enough said)
Life’s a bitter shame (unless Daddy gives you $400 million)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train

I’ve listened to preachers, I’ve listened to fools (hard to tell the difference among the evangelicals)
I’ve watched all the dropouts who make their own rules (would have dropped out but again Daddy)
One person conditioned to rule and control (that’s me suckers)
The media sells it and you live the role (God bless Roger Ailes) 

Mental wounds still screaming (you try marriage to Ivana)
Driving me insane (it was a short ride)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train

I know that things are going wrong for me (lying, f#(king pollsters)
You gotta listen to my words (off script of course)
Yeah

Heirs of a cold war, that’s what we’ve become (again I love the Russians)
Inheriting troubles, I’m mentally numb (inheriting oodles more like it – mentally ???)
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I’m living with something that just isn’t fair (fake news, Mueller, Biden, AOC, immigrants, the list goes on . . .)

Mental wounds stop healing (what?  I was contemplating this birdie putt) 
Who and what’s to blame (see above)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train (our country’s going off the rails with a crazy con man)

Gold Cup 2019 Quarterfinals Predictions

With the 2019 Gold Cup Quarterfinals upon us, Red is ready to make his predictions for a tournament that usually has an all too predictable outcome (being Mexico or the U.S. wins).

Haiti over Canada –   This is the toughest call as les Bicolores and the Cannucks have both looked impressive in group play.  Jonathan David has been a break out player for Canada, but his 5 goals have come against questionable opponents.  Look for tough defense from the Haitians to keep it close.  Still this one should feature lots of fireworks.  Haiti 3 Canada 2

Mexico over Costa Rica –  Los Ticos were a hot pick for a while, but they have not replicated their 2014 World Cup success as of late.  Meanwhile, El Tri is showing what futbol will look like in the post Chicharito, Marquez era.  And it looks pretty good.  El Tri will be playing in front of a wet home crowd in Houston on Saturday night.  Red just wishes they wouldn’t throw those $10 beers in the air when El Tri scores.   Mexico 4 Costa Rica 1.

Panama over Jamaica –  With Navas out, Andre Blake of the Reggae Boys is probably the best keeper in the tournament.  That won’t be enough unfortunately against a Panama side that has breakaway capability and good organization on the back line.  Panama 1 Jamaica 0.

Curacao over U.S.  – Red calls the upset here.  Curacao has lots of players you have never heard of – mostly because they play in second tier European leagues.  But those leagues feature some of the most competitive play because the stakes are so high for promotion to the big time or relegation to the real dregs. Top it off with  keeper Eloy Room who looks like the real deal and will keep Curacao in this game until the very end.  The U.S. features mostly MSL clubsters with a trio of English based players and one from Liga MX.  Lately, the U.S. has not failed to disappoint the growing soccer fan base in the States.  Unfortunately, that continues on Sunday as Curacao scores the biggest victory in its history.  Curacao 2 U.S. 1.

 

Texas Historic Hotel to be Renovated

The 90-year-old Baker Hotel and Spa in Mineral Wells has been purchased by a group that intends to restore the property to its former glory.  The Baker opened in 1929 during the early days of the Great Depression, but thrived for many years until a slow decline set in.  The property which was once the center piece of the lucrative mineral bath and spa industry in Mineral Wells was closed in 1972 and has been deteriorating ever since.

Austin-based La Corsha Hospitality Group will be leading the renovation and restoration of the Baker and the company has considerable experience in resurrecting decrepit but noteworthy properties like the Banker (which was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1982).  This isn’t the first attempt to revive the Baker, but this group seems to have the financial clout and staying power to finally get the Baker back on its feet.  Red is betting on Mineral Wells as the come-back player of the year for 2021.  ,

Soccer Heaven Right Now

For the dedicated soccer/futbol fan, these are heady days.  Right now there are three major tournaments in progress: the Women’s World Cup in France,  CONMEBOL’s Copa America in Brazil and CONCACAF’s Gold Cup in the U.S (with games also in Jamaica and Costa Rica).  So the World and two continents will crown their champions in the next few weeks.  Red was out of action for the start of the tournaments but will be forthcoming with predictions once the brackets for the elimination rounds are set.

Quotes for the Day

“Texans aren’t interested in typical career politicians, like Sen. Cornyn, who sell them out to corporate donors and powerful special interest. During his 17 years in Washington, Cornyn’s true legacy is being Mitch McConnell’s ‘yes man,’ leading the efforts to shred protections for over 4.5 million Texans with preexisting conditions, and playing a critical role in pushing for a tax bill that added over $2 trillion to the national debt and threatens Medicare and Social Security all while enriching big corporations who have donated over $9 million dollars to him throughout his political career.”

MJ Hegar, Democratic Candidate for U.S. Senate.

“We are, I think, no longer the reliably red state we have been.We are at risk of turning purple. And if we don’t do our job, then we could turn blue in the coming years.”

Sen. John Cornyn.

In Cornyn’s amazing rise from District Court Judge in San Antonio, to Texas Supreme Court Justice, to Attorney General, to U.S. Senator, he has never lost a race . Cornyn was smart in benefitting from a distinguished and calm manner, hoovering up cash from right-wing donors, and riding a historic red tide that swept Texas beginning with George Bush’s election in 1988.  As long as he could outfox the other Republicans in his way, his general elections have been cakewalks.  But JC now seems worried about 2020 with Trumph – the Insult Comic President – on the ballot just over his name.  Will voters who reject Trump just keep on rejecting Republicans down the ballot with Big John first in line?   Cornyn spent his first few years in the Senate focused on critical issues like flag burning and promoting religious bigotry and he seemed fairly harmless.  But he is now part of the entrenched GOP power structure in DC and can be frequently seen licking the boots of Mitch McConnell when he is not praising the glorious leader.

The GOP Solution to Gun Violence – More Guns

Our Poor Idiot Governor Gregg Abbott signed some new guns laws this week.  Texas gun lovers will be glad to know a few new things they can do with their favorite toys:

  1. For a full week after a natural disaster strikes, you can now openly or sneakily carry a handgun.  Before you could only tote around your rifle, shotgun or Chinese made A-47 (When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf#(ker in the room – with apologies to Q. Tarentino).  Red supposes this is supposed to allow folks to protect their property from looters.  So great idea here – have a bunch of tired, upset and totally stressed out people who are grieving over the possible loss of family, friends and stuff armed and dangerous and licensed to kill.  What could possibly go wrong?
  2. Landlords can no longer ban guns in their apartment complexes.  Red was once sitting in his friend’s apartment when the gun nuts next door accidentally discharged a .44 through the wall right next to where Red was sitting.  They came running around in a panic with the exclamation, “We f#(ked up, man!” To which Red replied, “No shit!” Apartment walls will not stop a bullet.  The stray one that very nearly took out young Red went through 3 walls.  Brilliant legislating here.
  3. Places of worship will now have to post the standard (and overly complicated) notice to ban guns from their premises.  Red for one can’t wait to attend services at the Holy Ghost House of Prayer and Rifle Range.   Our Father (Bam!), who art in Heaven (Bang!), hallowed be thy Glock (K-zing). Thy Smith&Wesson come (Boom!). Thy will be done on Earth as it is in the holy rifle range (Ackackackackack!).  Give us this day our daily round of ammo (armor piercing please), and forgive us our missed targets (Zing!) as we forgive those who don’t load properly, and lead us not into poor marksmanship (Kboom), but deliver us from Commie gun haters (Bam, Bam!).