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Today in Texas History – September 29

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From the Annals of Bravery – In 1864, Sgt. Milton Holland earned the Medal of Honor for action at Chaffin’s Farm and New Market Heights, Virginia.  Holland was born into slavery probably in Austin in 1844.  He was the slave and likely the son of Bird Holland who would later become Texas Secretary of State.  He was freed by Holland in the 1850’s and sent to the Albany Enterprise Academy in Ohio.  He enlisted in the United States Army in 1863 at the age of 19.  He joined the Fifth United States Colored Troops under the command of Gen. Benjamin Butler.   He quickly rose to the rank of regimental sergeant major.  During the engagements at Chaffin’s Farm and New Market Heights all of the white officers were killed or wounded.  Holland assumed command and led his regiment in action as it routed the Confederates.  He was wounded in the battle and for his actions received the Medal of Honor on April 6, 1865.  His commendation contained the following quote regarding his action after the regiment suffered heavy losses in the battle:

 “But, with a courage that knew no bounds, the men stood like granite figures. They routed the enemy and captured the breastworks. The courage displayed by young Holland’s regiment on this occasion called for the highest praise from Gen. Grant, who personally rode over the battlefield in company with Generals Butler and Draper.”

Butler promoted Holland to Captain for his service, but the War Department refused the commission because of his race.  After mustering out of the army on September 20, 1865, Holland lived in Washington, D.C., where he worked in the Auditor Office of the United States government.  He later became chief of collections for the Sixth District. He also established the Alpha Insurance Company, one of the first African-American-owned insurance companies. He died in 1910, at his farm near Silver Springs, Maryland, and was buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Photo from the National Park Service.

Red Goes to the Movies

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Or more accurately, Red sits on his behind and watches a classic at home.  This time it was the film adaptation of Raymond Chandler’s thriller Murder My Sweet.  Red had low hopes for this one – mostly because it starred lightweight Dick Powell as hard-boiled LA private detective Phillip Marlowe.  Powell was best known as an affable romantic lead in frivolous fare such as Gold Diggers of [insert year here], Stage Struck and Footlight Parade.  Legendary director Edward Dmytryk was allegedly furious at having the lightly regarded Powell cast as Marlowe, but soon came to realize that not only was Powell up to the task – he was a superb choice as the pithy street-wise PI.  The movie was helped by the fact that Chandler was the co-screenwriter and the action and dialogue follows the novel almost exactly.

Red believes that this is the finest film adaptation of one of the Marlowe novels ever made.  Powell is incredible and his stinging repartee as Marlowe is impeccably delivered.  And a fine supporting cast of Anne Shirley as the tempestuous female lead, Otto Kruger playing his usual elegant but evil criminal mastermind (ala his role in Hitchcock’s Saboteur) and long-time character actor heavyweight Mike Mazurki in the role of his career as Moose make this one sizzle with understated excitement.  Shot in film noir style, there doesn’t appear to be a daylight shot in the entire movie.  Red gives this one 5 stars.

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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This week the Javelinas of Texas A&M-Kingsville travel to Commerce to face the Texas A&M Commerce Lions in the battle of Texas A&M satellite schools located in towns that Red doesn’t want to live in.   The Lions have been steamrolling inferior competition in the first 3 weeks of the season.  Take the 62-0 ass-whomping they put on the University of Faith (not a recommended tackling technique) in the season opener. The Lions are averaging 50 points a game so far behind the incredibly accurate (75% completion rate) of QB Luis Perez.   The Javelinas are no slackers but last week’s loss after a step up in competition to Midwestern State probably indicates that they are not ready for the high-powered attack of the Lions – especially on the road in the hostile Piney Woods of East Texas.  This one could last a while.  Lions 55 Javelinas 40.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 3

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Well crap! Last week Red was 2-4 again, dragging season totals down to 4-8 which, let Red tell ya’, is a hole that is mighty hard to dig yourself out of. And those hanging on to Red’s Sure Bet Pick of the Week, sure lost their shorts and possibly their socks too.  So with trepidation in his heart, Red forges on undaunted by lack of success.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Cardinals over Bills. Red is going against the double forward time zone, obverse latitudinal, differential seasonal onset hex on this one.  But the Bills look truly lost and the Cardinals are coming off an absolute shellacking of what Red thinks is a pretty decent Buccaneers team.  Moreover, the Cards have weapons, while the Bills have wounds. After last week’s SBPOW, which had “Seahawks Blowout” written all over it – albeit in disappearing ink, Red is reluctant to call anything sure.  The line looks to be about -4 for the Cardinals right now.  If it drops to -3, jump on it.  Red also likes the under at 47.5.  Arizona 24 Orchard Park 14.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Lions over Packers. The foul odor of defeat is permeating the western shores of Lake Michigan. Something has happened to previously considered god-like A. Rodgers.  His all to mortal feet have been stuck in the permafrost for almost a full season now.  Since last November, the great one has varied between mediocre and terrible.  Rodgers has not posted a QB rating of over 100 in his last 14 games and his 3 fumble, 1 interception game against the Vikings last week made Texans fans start thinking – Hey, Brian Hoyer wasn’t so bad after all.  Don’t get Red wrong, the Lions suck and beating the Packers will not be easy. But that is why they are the UPOW.  Detroit City 31 Green Bay 17.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Giants over OTNAs.  For those who thought Kirk Cousins was the answer in old DC (or environs), Red asks – What was the question?  What will it take for our team to regress from mediocrity back to true suckitude?  What overrated QB can Dumbass Dan over pay this season?  How can we extend almost 25 years of playoff misery?  Where’s my head?  Answers to all these questions and more, next week.  New Jersey 29 Landover, MD 3.

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Bears over Cowboys.  For the record, Red is perfectly fine with Dak Prescott being the “new” Tony Romo.  That being the Tony Romo that will end his career having won all of two meaningless first round playoff games and having repeatedly choked his team out of the playoffs in December.  Chicago 13 Arlington 11.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Saints over Falcons. Only because under this new self-imposed format Red has to pick one of the prime time games and he waited too late to blow it on the Texans-Patriots game. New Orleans 21 Atlanta 10.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – Dophins over Browns. Of all the games likely to offend Red’s olfactory senses this season, this one could be the most fetid of all.  Lock up all sharp objects and have some duck tape oven mitts on your hands if you dare to watch this terrible turd tilt, lest ye be tempting sever you carotid artery well before the two minute warning of this one.  Miami 3 Cleveland 2.

Congratulations Mr. Mercilus

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The appropriately named Whitney Mercilus was named AFC Defensive Player of the Week.  Mercilus, the Texans OLB, was indeed merciless against the Bears on Sunday. Mercilus recorded four tackles,  two sacks, two quarterback hits, one tackle for loss and one forced fumble in Houston’s 23-14 season-opening victory.

Mercilus is an interesting guy to boot.  The University of Illinois graduate of Haitian descent has taken an interest in his adopted city and loves classical music.  Lots of NFL players have so-called foundations which are frequently just a way to pay for a party, but the Mercilus Foundation seems to be the real deal.  According to Mercilus, the focus of the MF “is helping underprivileged families raising kids with disabilities.  It’s what I studied in college – Community Health Disability and Rehabilitation Concentration – essentially helping disabled people with home accommodations, home living, work space, transportation and more.” Expect big things from Mercilus on and off the field.

Rick Perry – Dancing for the Troops?

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Our former Poor Idiot Governor Rick Perry bombed in his Dancing With the Stars debut last night.  Perry received the lowest scores of any of the so-called “Stars” fox-trotting, quick-stepping, rhumbaing, two-stepping, tangoing or otherwise breaking it loose on the DWTS stage.  Perry and partner Emma Slater cha cha’ed to “God Blessed Texas” by the band Little Texas.   What’s next – Waltz Across Texas?

Perry claims that he wants to win the show “for the men and women of our military.” Somehow Red thinks that our soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines could not possibly care less about Rick Perry dancing his way into America’s hearts.  And for the record, you couldn’t make Red watch DWTS if you promised him that Perry would rip his pants live on TV.

 

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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Image result for kyle field

This week features a match up of the two oldest public universities in the State.  And you probably can’t guess at least one of them.  For the first time in 140 years, Texas A&M and Prairie View A&M will meet at Kyle Field on Saturday.  Although the schools are only about 45 miles apart, more than geography has separated the two institutions.  Texas’s first public universities were created by the same legislation, but separated by race for more than 100 years.

As far as football goes, the two programs are vastly different.  PV suffered through the longest losing streak in college football history losing 80 straight at one point.  TAMU has been a regular in the Top 25 for decades.  It’s the first time that the Aggies will play a Southwestern Athletic Conference team from one of the historically black colleges.  For PV, it’s the first time they will have played a team from one of the Power Five conferences.

Kudos to A&M System Chancellor John Sharp for making this game a priority.  Red hopes that PV takes away something more than the $450,000 boost for their athletic program.  Chancellor Sharp has similar sentiments.

“The money part is not the most important thing. It’s being associated with a great university. Playing in a game like that is something that enhances their reputation.”

Still it seems unlikely that the Panthers can keep pace with the Aggies, but it might be a more competitive game than expected as PV has turned its program around.  Red calls TAMU 42 PV 22.

On a final note, is there a university out there with a more romantic sounding name than Prairie View?  Only Bowling Green comes to mind.

 

Louie Gohmert Speaks to His Personal Expertise – Mental Impairment

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Rep. Louie Gohmert (TP-Tyler) claims that Hillary Clinton is mentally impaired.

“A true believer does what Jesus did … you don’t make fun of people who are impaired, have special needs, and whether you like her or not, Hillary Clinton’s made clear, she is mentally impaired.”  Gohmert later commented that “Hillary’s brain is in a blender.”

Red has to defer to the Tea Party darling from east Texas on the subject of mental impairment since it has long been clear that Gohmert isn’t firing on all cylinders himself.  Gohmert is well-known for his idiotic statements.  What is incredible is that this guy was actually the Chief Justice of one of our Texas Courts of Appeals and was in a position to directly impact the lives of the people whose cases were before his court.  Gohmert wants to keep playing the clearly discredited – Hillary is brain damaged from a fall back in 2012 card – as though he actually had a medical diagnosis of Clinton.  Just the kind of excrement that typically flows from Gohmert’s mouth in an almost uncontrollable flow.

Here is a small sample of some of the stupidity that has come from Gohmert’s mouth.

Speaking of the Alaska pipeline Gohmert commented, “So when [caribou] want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline. … So my real concern now [is] if oil stops running through the pipeline … do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?”  Gohmert is apparently unaware that the Caribou survived for millennia without the benefit of flowing oil.

Talking about the Obama administration, Gohmert claimed, “This administration has so many Muslim Brotherhood members that have influence that they just are making wrong decisions for America.”  Unfortunately for Louie, he was unable to point to any actual MB members making policy in DC.

 

 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 1

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Week 1 Picks 2016

Red has a new format this year for his weekly six-pack of picks. Every week Red will feature a Sure Bet of the Week, Underdog Pick of the Week, Rivalry Game Pick of the Week, Texas Franchise Pick of the Week, Prime Time Pick of the Week, and of course the Shit Bowl Pick of the Week. Red may add some additional picks as the season goes on such as the Must Win Game of the Week or perhaps the Big Ass Game of the Week.  Stay tuned.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Panthers over Broncos.  Red is not particularly fond of having the Superb Owl rematch (in the seasons where that is possible) in the first game of the season – but he certainly understands why the NFL wants to kick off the season in fine form.  Unfortunately, this game doesn’t look to keep the fans in Des Moines interested for very long and only the true addict of the professional sports crack that is the NFL will be watching come the 4th quarter. The Panthers played about as bad a game as possible last February.  They have to be looking forward for a small shot at redemption.  They have a clean shot on Thursday and they take down the defending champions rather handily.  Red thinks that Carolina minus 3 is a lock and that the over at 41.5 is even better.  Carolina 35 Denver 20.  

Underdog Pick of the Week – Jaguars over Packers. Jags are Red’s moving team this season.  Moving from the outhouse to the playoffs in Red’s humble estimation.  This is a statement game for Coach Gus Bradley. It’s his 4th season and probably getting close to the make or break point.  It will be the first sellout crowd for the Jags since October of 2014. That may be a mixed blessing as the sell out may be due to Packers fans making the trip to N. Florida for a chance to see the beloved green and gold.  However, it will be hot and the hotter the better for the Jaguars. It’s hard to believe, but the Packers have played in just two 90+ degree games in their 97 year history.  The Pack wilts before it fades to black on Sunday. Jacksonville 20 Green Bay 17.

Rivalry Game of the Week – Giants over Cowboys. This is the kind of game the Cowboys always seem to win.  A young untested quarterback takes over and leads the team to a come-from-behind victory.  Remember Clint Longley, Gary Hogeboom and even a young Tony Romo himself.  Last season, hwoever, it was tired old Tony Romo leading the ‘Boys to an season opening win against the soon to be hapless Giants.  Not this year, as Romo is out for this one, and the next one, and the next one . . .  But more than Romo being out most of last season, the true cause of the Cowboys’ ills was the return to form of the defense.  After a record-setting season of utter putridness in 2013, the Cowboys defense was nothing short of outstanding in the run to the playoffs in 2014.  But they regressed mightily last year causing only 11 turnovers and generally getting walked on.  Now missing DeMarcus Lawrence and Randy Gregory, the Big D looks to be unable to put any serious pressure on a pocket passer like Eli.  Sunday afternoon he gets to stand back and pick ‘em apart. New Jersey 37 Arlington 13.

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Texans over Bears. Lucky for Bill-O the Clown that the Texans start off with a game against the bumbling Bears.  There are a lot of questions to be answered for the Texans with a new quarterback, new tailback, new receivers and tight ends.  Unfortunately for the Texans it looks like pretty much the same crappy old offensive line and that will be the deciding factor for the Texans most of the season.  I don’t care how good Lamar Miller looked last season, you can’t run through non-existent gaps.  Osweiler better learn to get rid of the ball quickly.  The defense is real and will keep the Texans in a lot of games to the very end this season. Houston 23 Chicago 8.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Cardinals over Patriots.  The Patriots need Tom Brady like a flower needs the rain, like a dog needs a bone, like a soldier needs a rifle, like a man needs a woman (or another man as the case may be), like a preacher needs the collection plate, like an old man needs his false teeth, like a crack ho needs a rock, like Red needs to give this one a rest. Arizona 31 New England 17.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – Colts over Lions. Talk about two teams that underperformed last season.  The Colts season effectively ended before Christmas when they lost to the Texans at home for the first time ever.  Yes, they rallied to win the last two games against the hapless Dolphins and the battered Titans, but they lost control of their fate by losing the 16-10 snoozefest to the Texans in Week 15.  That capped off a 3 game losing streak that took the Colts from almost certainly securing a playoff spot – to on the outside looking in for a change.  The Colts are likely no better this season.  Red has them going 8-8 and finishing at the bottom of the heap in the AFC South.  Meanwhile, no team had a harder fall than the Lions in 2015.  By Week 7 they had already lost 6 games, more than they lost in the entire 2014 season.  They did rally to finish 6-2 over the second half of the season and did win in Green Bay for the first time in 25 years, but other than that 2015 was pretty much a complete write-off for Matt Stafford and friends.  Things look worse this season without Megatron and with Stafford clearly established as a third tier talent.  The Colts better enjoy this one, because it won’t get any easier.  If you are still watching this turgid turd tussle in the second half, make sure your seat belt is fastened, your seat back and tray table are in their full upright and locked position.  It’s going to be a rough landing. Indianapolis 29 Detroit 10,