Red’s NFL Picks – Second Round

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“You’re not that damn important.”

Brian Mitchell – referring to RGIII.

But really, who is?

Red Rates Himself – For Wildcard Weekend Red was 3-1 making up somewhat for the late season slide into high mediocrity. Red would have been 4-0 but for the Bengals total meltdown at the end of the game. His best call was on the Texans/Chiefs debacle where Red claimed “one big play will probably decide this one.” And damn if Red wasn’t right. He just didn’t know that it would be on the opening kickoff. At least Red had the good sense to keep his other commitments and not waste $500 and 6 hours of his time watching the Texans’ ship go down without a fight.

For the season Red is now 56-44. Red likes easy percentage calculations.

And Red knows the NFL calls this the Divisional Round or some such nonsense. It is not that, because we obviously have Wildcard teams still playing. This is Round Two or as Red prefers the Second Round. Take your pick.

Your Damnation Pick of the Week: Patriots over Chiefs. Red has to stick with the Patriots (his preseason AFC Champ) because that’s the way this thing works. And given his spotty record on picking the playoff teams this year (more on that later) he needs the added oomph of picking the Superb Owl correctly which is something that happens about once a decade. Given that, all signs point to the Chiefs – except the sign that says Foxboro City Limits. Patriots don’t typically lose in the playoffs in F’town. In the Brady Era, they are 14-3 in home playoff games. In this business, we call that a trend. More of a portent in Red’s humble opinion. This game turns on the Pats defense. If they hold the Chiefs to 20 or under, the odds of the Pats winning the game are incalculable. I cannot imagine the Pats not scoring at least 21 on any team left in the playoffs. At playoff time, the Pats either score around 15 and lose or more than 20 and win. I think this is one very tight and the Chiefs could easily win this game with even a decent offensive performance. Red likes the Chiefs plus 5 if you can get it. New England 24 Kansas City 19.

Your DamnYankees Pick of the Week: Packers over Cardinals. Cardinals picked a bad time to fall apart and lose key players. Packers fell apart early and often while shedding good players like the working girls at the Men’s Club. Again this is a damn close call between two teams that could win the Superb Owl with just a little luck. Red won’t overly retread his Quality Wins rubric. Suffice it to say that the Packers come in with 3 (discounted for early season wins) while the Cards also have 3 QWs over the Pack, Vikings and Seahawks. Despite this trend of beating our northernmost NFL teams, Red again has to play out the skein all the way out and since he picked the Packers to win it all this year, he has no choice but to go against his gut and pick the Pack. But he wouldn’t bet on this game if you held a hot poker to his pecker. Green Bay 27 Arizona 24.

Your Double Damn Pick of the Week: Panthers over Seahawks. The Panthers don’t strike Red as a team that is going to play tight in a situation where everyone might expect them to not be able to excrete an aspirin. Cam stays loose and since the Panthers have to rightfully believe that they can beat anyone why should they fear the Seahawks. These teams are fairly similar both featuring offenses powered by a steady running game backed up by mobile quarterbacks who are mediocre in the passing game and tough defenses. Admittedly, the Hawks have a better defense, but have they really faced anyone like CN all season? Only in practice. And they were lucky to escape with their lives when facing a decent Vikings defense last week. At some point CN is going to have to take this game over and make some plays against a defense that will be head-hunting. If he survives the gauntlet then the Panthers can win this one going away. Everyone but Red is calling this the game of the week. Red thinks the Panthers expose the Hawks more than the Vikings did last week. Take the Panthers giving up a single point. Carolina 37 Seattle 13.

You’re Damn, Damn, Damn Pick of the Week: Stealers over Broncos. PMS (that’s Peyton Manning Starting for those who have not been paying attention in class) is old and brittle and all but washed up as a premier QB. Ben Rotlessburger is not quite as old and still tough as the steak served at El Rio in Monterrey. Red never underestimates the ability of brilliant Gary Kubiak to outcoach himself and blow it in a big game. He has a defense that can win this game if he will just let them, but he won’t and the Broncos are going to turn it over at least 3 times. The Stealers are playing on borrowed time and glad of it. They make the most of it this week. Red likes the Stealers plus 7 – he likes it a lot. He may like the over at 38.5 even more. Pittsburgh 28 Denver 23.

Today in Texas History – January 15

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From the Annals of the Musicians – In 1972, Don McLean’s song “American Pie” hit No. 1 on the Billboard Pop Charts.  The  rambling lyrics have evoked numerous interpretations but what is not in doubt is that “the Day the Music Died” refers to February 3, 1959, the date of the tragic deaths of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and J.P. “the Big Bopper” Richardson all of whom were  from Texas. The song became something of an anthem for a whole generation of high school and college students.  Perhaps no one was more surprised by the success of the song than McLean himself who claims he did not write the song intending it to be a generation-defining epic.  McLean states that it was simply written to capture his view of “America as I was seeing it and how I was fantasizing it might become.”  McLean’s greatest hope was that he might make a few thousand dollars and be able to keep performing for another year.  Instead, when asked about the meaning of the song, McLean remarked “it means I don’t ever have to work again if I don’t want to.”

Ted Cruz Doesn’t Debate

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) has mastered the art of the non-debate.  Here are the 10 basic rules:

  1. Never actually answer a question, it’s a sign of weakness.
  2. Never admit you made a mistake – other than a clerical error.
  3. Have a bag full of ready-to-deliver snarky comebacks and veiled insults.
  4. Talk over your opponents during their time.
  5. Attack the media whenever possible – especially when they are reporting truthfully about you.
  6. Perfect a disgusted, dismayed look that says – I can’t believe they aren’t smart enough to take everything I say for the gospel truth.
  7. Use that finger.
  8. Begin response with vicious attack on questioner – then segue to warm and meaningless family anecdote.
  9. When disgusted, dismayed look doesn’t work – turn to icy stare.
  10. Never actually answer a question.

Put Abbott to Work on Something Useful

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Gov. Greg Abbott’s plan to amend the holy crap out of the U.S. Constitution looks to be a non-starter judged solely by the complete lack of buzz surrounding his “big” announcement.  Red saw Megyn Kelly giving him what-for on her show a few nights ago, but other than that –  cue the crickets.   So instead of directing so much of his energy towards not actually running the state he was electing to govern (hence the title “governor”), Tom Herman of the Austin American-Statesman suggests that Abbott turn his attention to a document that actually could use some revising – namely, the bloated, turgid and all too frequently amended Texas Constitution.

 Abbott is correct on another front: There indeed is a Constitution overdue for a major overhaul. It’s our very own semi-beloved Texas Constitution, a 90,000-word, 385-section, 491-amendment mélange of a mess of a pastiche of a patchwork of a guiding document.

The last real run at reworking the Texas Constitution — and it turned out to be a run that barely got beyond the starting line — was in 1999 when then-state Sen. Bill Ratliff, R-Mount Pleasant, and Rep. Rob Junell, D-San Angelo, tried it.

As the 1999 legislative session began, Ratliff and Junell noted a new millennium was approaching and “we must exercise foresight to prepare this state and its citizens for the challenges of the next century.”

Brilliant Attorney Ted Cruz Can’t Figure Out How to Follow the Law

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Multiple outlets are reporting that Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) failed to report as much as $500,000 in loans from Goldman Sachs that may have been used to help finance his longshot  2012 Senate campaign.  Cruz is downplaying this as an “inadvertent” filing error, but part of his Senate campaign was premised on his anti-Wall Street rhetoric and the fact that he was getting preferential loans from a Wall Street giant (that also employed his wife) would not have fit well into that narrative.  Cruz explains one of the loans as a “standard margin loan” that you would have with any brokerage account.  Red calls BS on that one.  There is nothing “standard” about margin loans and they are the easiest way for the average investor to get in trouble and rack up big losses.  Red sees potential trouble for the high-flying Tea Party darling in the weeks running up to Iowa.  Ted’s “nothing to see here, move along” explanation doesn’t pass the smell test and how did the oh-so-brilliant attorney from Texas not manage to follow disclosure laws which are pretty damn clear on their face.  Isn’t interpreting law supposed to be his strong suit?

Today in Texas History – January 14

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From the Annals of the Constitution –  In 1860, the U.S. House of Representatives’ Committee of Thirty-Three submitted a proposed constitutional amendment protecting slavery in all areas where it already existed. The proposed amendment was intended to stop states from seceding.   Following the election of Abraham Lincoln, the secession fury picked up in the South.  The Republican Party was committed to restricting slavery in the Western territories, and Southerners were dead set on protecting their right to own other human beings.  The House of Representatives appointed the Committee of Thirty-Three, consisting of one member from each state, to investigate avenues of compromise that would keep the South from seceding.

Most of the floated plans involved an expansion of slavery into the Western territories, but that fight was what had killed off the Whigs and given rise to the Republican party, and Northern states were opposed to any further slave states entering the Union.  The only plan to make it out of the committee was submitted by Thomas Corwin of Ohio and called for an amendment to protect slavery, enforce the fugitive slave laws, and repeal state personal liberty laws.  The South was increasingly concerned faced with numbers of slaves escaping to the North and the personal liberty laws made it difficult to return persons to the condition of chattel slavery.  South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi, and Alabama had already seceded by the time Corwin made his proposal. The plan went no where and the issue of slavery was only resolved with a long and bloody civil war.

And this is why floating absurd plans to amend the Constitution to fundamentally alter our federal system are a stupid idea Governor Abbott.

The San Antonio Raiders?

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With Oakland seemingly licking up the scraps from the NFL Owner’s table, the fate of the Oakland Raiders is in doubt.  When Raiders President Mark Davis visited San Antonio last year, many viewed it as a publicity stunt to show the league that the Raiders were serious about leaving Oakland and viewed San Antonio (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) as a possible destination.  But yesterday, the Raiders were left sucking hind tit when the owner’s committee recommended that the Rams move back to LA and give the Chargers the option of being included in the deal.  The committee also recommended that the league funnel $100 million towards the construction of a new stadium in Oakland.  But $100 million is a drop in the bleachers under current stadium construction budgets which typically exceed $1 billion.   The snub plus the fact that the Raiders have already purchased land in the San Antonio/Austin area, plus the fact that the Raiders would have a respectable temporary home in the AlamoDome are increasing speculation that the Raiders may be seriously considering a move to Texas.  Red supports the idea as Texas is clearly large enough to support 3 NFL teams and anything that would eat into the Cowboys fan base (the Texans get little love in SA) is okay with Red.

Today in Texas History – January 13

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From the Annals of Air Travel –  In 1974, the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport officially opened.  Originally called the Dallas-Fort Worth Regional Airport, DFW is the third busiest airport in the world measured by take-offs and landings and the ninth in the world measured by number of passengers with over 60 million passenger arrivals and departures.  Curiously, it is the second busiest airport in international arrivals/departures behind Houston’s Bush Intercontinental.  It does have the distinction of being one of the few airports in the world with flights to more than 200 foreign destinations.

DFW is located in Dallas and Tarrant Counties and takes in parts of Irving, Euless, Grapevine and Coppell.  It has its own ZIP code and postal designation (“DFW Airport, TX”).  The massive complex also has its own police, fire protection and emergency medical services.   DFW has 5 terminals with a total of 165 gates.  It has room to expand to up to 13 terminals with 260 gates.

All Quiet on the Constitutional Front?

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In the wake of Gov. Greg Abbott’s call to  fundamentally alter the structure of our country’s government, the Texas Tribune speculates about the almost total lack of support yet forthcoming from other Tea Party stalwarts such as Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick.  Even Sen. “Krazy” Konni Burton (TP- Colleyville) – never one to wander too far from the lunatic fringe – is maintaining radio silence on Abbott’s plan.   It seems as though the Tea Party is hesitant to get behind supporting a constitutional convention that might spiral out of control.

Someone was nice enough to leave a copy of “Restoring the Rule of Law With States Leading the Way” by Gov. Greg Abbott on Red’s desk.  Red has yet to work his way through the 92 page tome complete with 353 endnotes.  When he does, you will be hearing more.  But, there are two things that immediately strike Red about Our Poor Idiot Governor’s proposal:

First, why is OPIG so reluctant to do the job he was actually elected to do?  He seems to have little or no interest in attempting to run Texas.  OPIG spends most of his time grandstanding, filing absurd lawsuits, and kowtowing to the TP base that elected him.  Exactly how much of the state’s time and money was wasted on this non-starter of a “plan?”  Will someone send an open records request?

Second, if by some unf0rtunate happenstance, OPIG’s 9 constitutional amendments were to pass, then the seeds of a second American civil war will have been planted.  The  “indivisible” nation that we pledge allegiance to will be no more.  We will once again be a collection of states – and we know how well that worked out last time.  And if – under the new constitution (for that is what OPIG’s proposal would essentially create) –  some of those states still can’t get their way, then what would be the natural option for these newly emboldened states?  Cessation.  The precedent is firmly established in blood, sweat and tears that unilateral cessation is not an option in our republic.  The inevitable result of such an attempt would be rebellion and civil war.  And if you thought the last one was messy . . .  Red for one does not want to see this country torn asunder by fools like Abbott.