The End TImes are Near, Cont.

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The new baseball lawsuit (see entry immediately below) seeking to have the net extended from foul pole to foul pole in all MLB parks got Red to wondering about deaths from foul balls.  And of course with the miracle of the internets and some people having way too much time on their hands, the answer to Red’s question was only moments away.

Sports Nut (Joe Mooallem) at Slate offers a review of a 2008 book,  Death at the Ballpark: A Comprehensive Study of Game Related Fatalities of Players, Other Personnel and Spectators in Amateur and Professional Baseball, 1862-2007 by Robert Gorman and David Weeks.  One can only wonder at the motivation for creating this apparently exhaustive study which is certain to not make the NY Times Bestseller list. According to Slate, “The authors say their aim was to “raise awareness” about baseball’s many dangers, but there aren’t any recommendations for making the sport safer here, no real signs of impassioned outrage, and no warnings to suburban parents about aluminum bats.”   Red isn’t exactly running out to get a copy, but the review does offer this interesting fact.

Fatal fastballs to the head, meanwhile, aren’t nearly as common as you’d expect. In the past 150 years, only one fan at a major league baseball game has been killed by a foul ball—a 14-year-old in Los Angeles named Alan Fish. The liner that fractured Fish’s skull came off the bat of Dodger pinch-hitting specialist Manny Mota, whose own teenage nephew would be killed 14 years later while playing shortstop in New York—a coincidence Gorman and Weeks don’t stop to note. Mota’s nephew, a high-schooler, was struck by lightning as he stood in the field, five minutes after the umpire announced he was going to call the game at the end of the inning.

Of course, others have been injured and some seriously by flying bats and balls, but the risk of actual death from sitting along the baselines appears to be pretty small.   But if your number is up, just hope you are sitting next to this guy.

The End Times are Near, Cont.

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Yahoo Sports relates that Gail Payne, an Oakland A’s season ticket holder, has filed a lawsuit seeking to have MLB clubs install foul pole to foul pole netting to protect fans from foul balls, broken bats and the occasional errantly expelled chaw spit.   A Houston law firm, Hilliard Munoz Gonzalez is representing Payne, but a website asks other season ticket-holders to contact another firm handling the case, Seattle-based Hagens Berman.

”Every type of fan is constantly at risk of serious injury or death,” claims attorney Robert Hilliard. ”If that foul ball is hit hard enough, reaction time is basically zero and life-threatening injury is certain. This is a needless risk. Extending the nets will, as a fact, save lives.”

If you want to sit in good seats, you must be willing to pay attention to the game.  If you can’t do that, sit in the outfield or the nosebleeds.

Red Takes a Stand

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Red happened to be in the Capital City this weekend and took his family to eat at Red’s of all places.  When offered a seat on the patio, the hostess neglected to inform Red that it was the designated “Dog Area.”   Red knows that his general dislike of the canine species puts him at odds with much of the civilized world on either a domesticated animal or culinary basis.  And if people want to eat with their dogs – or eat their dogs for that matter – Red is perfectly okay with that.  But a restaurant should not assume that Red is okay having his spinach salad while a Black Lab is sticking his ass in the air and farting in Red’s general direction.  Red gets that people love their dogs, but that doesn’t mean I have to.  All I want is informed choice.  If you are going to seat someone in a mixed-species kennel at least give them chance to opt out and wait for a table where the only annoying creatures are the wait staff.

Today in Texas History – July 13

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From the Annals of Unclaimed Prizes – In 1903, the Texas legislature chose to offer a $50,000 prize for discovery of a way to rid Texas of the boll weevil. The proclamation was made from the steps of the Capitol in Austin.  A Boll Weevil Commission was appointed by Gov. S.W.T. Lanham to evaluate the claims and claimants to the prize.  The prize offered by the legislature made both themselves and the boll weevil a figure of fun for newspapers throughout the nation, and this episode is sometimes found in civics or government texts as an illustration of the foolishness of lawmaking bodies.  No one ever came forth to make a claim for the prize – an enormous sum in its day.

I’ll Have a Talisker and Soda – but Make it with Cutty Sark

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The Dallas Morning News reports on Operation Bottoms Up which has revealed that numerous Texas watering holes are not always serving the high priced liquor ordered by the customer.

You’ve been warned: The Good Stuff you’re ordering at your favorite bar, restaurant or, um, gentleman’s club could be the cheap stuff.

That’s according to an undercover investigation by the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission, which sampled drinks at 68 licensed establishments across Texas and determined that 21 of them were serving phony pours — “counterfeit liquor,” according to the release. TABC spokesman Chris Porter tells The Dallas Morning News that five of the 21 establishments staring at steep penalties are in North Texas, with one each in Dallas, Fort Worth, Irving, Mesquite and Addison. He says he can’t name names until formal charges are filed. He also says he can’t reveal what brands were ordered and what brands were actually served, since they don’t have the manufacturers’ permission.

“What we identified in this situation was folks who ordered high-end may not have been receiving what they ordered,” he says. “It could have been rotgut or lesser-quality alcohol. But what they ordered isn’t what they received.” He says the samples involved spirits — vodka, bourbon, rum — but not, say, beer.

Over the years, he says, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has received countless complaints that bars and restaurants are selling the cheap stuff at high-end prices. But until this spring, the TABC had no way to prove it.

“This is the first operation we’ve done like this, because we didn’t have the technology to do something like until early spring,” Porter says. “We receive complaints on a fairly regular basis. Folks will order something that doesn’t taste right, and now that we have the technology to test it, we plan on conducting several operations.”

Waco Mammoth Site Gets National Monument Designation

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President Barack Obama announced today that the Waco Mammoth Site will be designated as a National Monument.  The site is home to the nation’s only nursery herd of Columbian mammoths.  The site was discovered in 1978 by Paul Barron and Eddie Bufkin who were searching for arrowheads and fossils near the Bosque River. Instead, they found a large bone in an eroded ravine. Recognizing the unusual nature of the find, they removed the bone and took it to the Strecker Museum at Baylor University for examination. The bone was identified as Columbian mammoth (Mammuthus columbi). Museum staff members quickly organized a team of volunteers and excavation began at the site which continued for almost 30 years.

The site opened to the public in 2009.  It contains the excavated remains of 22 female and baby mammoths, which make up a nursery herd.  Some of them drowned about 65,000 years ago when the Bosque River flooded and trapped them in a steep channel. Later floods buried the remains.  The origin of the other fossils at the site is unclear.

“These unique and well-preserved remains provide superlative opportunities for scientific study,” the White House said in an announcement, calling the site “a rare opportunity” for research.

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Today in Texas History – July 10

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From the Annals of the Conquistadors –   In 1520, Hernan Cortes, his army and Tlaxcalan allies were forced to flee Tenochtitlan in what became known at the Noche Triste.  The population of Tenochtitlan had risen against them after Pedro Alvarado had slaughtered many Aztec nobles in a brutal and senseless massacre that occurred while Cortes was away quelling a rebellion of Spanish troops on the coast.  Upon his return to Tenochtitlan, Cortes quickly realized that their position was untenable and ordered an evacuation from the island capital.

Under cover of darkness, the Spaniards and their allies set out for the mainland via the causeway to Tlacopan. The retreat was hampered by the fact that the Aztecs had removed the bridges over the gaps in the causeways that linked the city to the mainland.  However, Cortés’ men constructed a portable bridge with which to cross the openings.They placed the portable bridge in the first gap, but at that moment their movement was detected and Aztec forces attacked, both along the causeway and by means of canoes on the lake. The Spaniards had no choice but to continue to retreat down the narrow causeway.

The retreat quickly turned into a rout as Cortes’ men could not remove the portable bridge unit from the first gap. The bulk of the Spanish infantry, left behind by Cortés and the other horsemen, had to cut their way through the masses of Aztec warriors opposing them. Many of the Spaniards, weighed down by their armor and booty, drowned in the causeway gaps or were killed by the Aztecs. Much of the wealth the Spaniards had acquired in Tenochtitlan was lost.  More than two-thirds of the Spanish troops were killed or captured and the Spanish allies suffered heavy losses. Upon reaching the mainland at Tlacopan, Cortes wept over their losses.  The old tree (“El árbol de la noche triste”) where Cortés cried is still a monument in Mexico.

JEB!!!!$$$? Speaks – Red Translates

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JEB!!!!$$$? has been quoted as stating that Americans need to work longer hours.   As usual, Red will translate so that you don’t have to do it yourself.

“My aspiration for the country [another failed Bush presidency] and I believe [at least my cadre of the usual Bush family advisors tell me that I should believe it] we can achieve it, is 4 percent growth [please don’t laugh out loud] as far as the eye can see [of course, I have notoriously bad vision]. Which means we have to be a lot more productive [get off your fat lazy working poor asses], workforce participation has to rise from its all-time modern lows. It means that people need to work longer hours [which is very easy to say for a guy who gets $75,000 for a one hour speech to willing syncophants] and, through their productivity, gain more income for their families [which we will figure out how to tax so that rich guys like me pay less]. That’s the only way we’re going to get out of this rut [a Democrat in the White House] that we’re in [caused largely by my incompetent fool of a big brother].”

Everything’s Just Peachy

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That was the only reply that one of Red’s former co-workers ever gave when asked “How’s it going?”  But right now everything is just peachy because Texas growers are expecting a bumper crop.  Red has already been enjoying the delicious Freestone peaches from the Mexia area and has been eagerly anticipated the possibly even more delicious Stonewall peaches from the Hill Country.  Red may even try some of those North Texas peaches that he has ignored for years.  The San Antonio Express-News reports that heavy spring rains have not affected the golden goodness headed our way.

Today in Texas History – July 9

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From the Annals of the Missions –  In 1716,  Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe de los Nacogdoches Mission was founded by the Domingo Ramon expedition in a village of the Nacogdoches Indians.  The well-traveled Father Antonio Margil de Jesus was placed in charge of the mission. The mission was abandoned temporarily in 1719 because of a French invasion of Texas, but it was the first Zacatecan mission to be restored when the Spanish reasserted control two years later. The mission was deemed a failure as the Nacogdoches tribe resisted conversion to Catholicism.  In 1773, it was permanently abandoned after the cession of Louisiana to Spain by the French.