Some observations from the Texans – Cowboys game

Leave a reply

Red goes back and forth on whether football or golf is the stupidest sport.  The improbability of golf (you are really supposed to put this tiny ball in a 4.5 inch hole with only 4 strokes in this 10 acre pasture?) and the brute nature of football (you are supposed to withstand being repeatedly body-slammed by 300+ lb guys?) stand in contrast.   But today it’s football and Red was in attendance last night so here goes:

  1.  The Red Rule is still in place – Score 17 points and beat the Cowboys.
  2. Bill O’ the Clown is obviously unfamiliar with the Red Rule or he would have taken the field goal at the end of first half to get to 13 points with a full half to play
  3. It was a field goal fest anyway.  Seven field goals and only two touchdowns.  Fred Akers would be happy.
  4. Dak Prescott is slippery and got away with more than one ball thrown up for grabs.
  5. Deshaun Watson is not quite as slippery and somewhat more careful with the ball.
  6. If you can beat E. Elliott, you will beat the Cowboys.
  7. The crowd at NRG was about 70/30 Texans to Cowboys fans.  Red heard that Chris Collingsworth called it 50/50.  As with most things, CC was wrong.
  8. You cannot run wide on this Cowboys defense – especially in the Red Zone.
  9. NFL overtime rules suck!
  10. The Texans’ franchise is pathetic in almost everyway possible as a football organization and that extends right down to customer relations, traffic and crowd control, the useless moveable roof at NRG, and halftime entertainment.
  11. Red, however, has now seen Big Boy – who actually was more entertaining than expected.
  12. Sadly, the NFL appears to have eliminated the “Drive Start Indicator” and along with it the most useless position in all of football.  Red is certain this is saving teams at least $100 per game.

Kavanaugh to be Confirmed

2 Replies

It appears that Bret Kavanaugh, hard-partying frat boy with major memory lapses, will be confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court.  Red fully supports Kavanaugh’s confirmation.  He is the perfect exemplar of a Trump appointee – one who appears to be ethically and morally challenged, with a sense of entitlement and who is willing to squeeze the truth to achieve his goal.  Unless CJ Roberts makes a dramatic shift to the center and is willing to respect stare decisis – Red expects that this now potentially reactionary SCOTUS will undermine decades of precedent protecting civil liberties, allow further advancement of the emerging police state, flip the off-switch on gay marriage and gay rights, kowtow to the religious right’s bigotry to exempt zealots from an entire host of anti-discrimination laws under the guise of the first amendment, eliminate any protection of voting rights, allow absurd partisan gerrymandering to prop up a dying Trumpian party (formerly known as the GOP), kill any attempts at sensible gun control,  end the last vestiges of affirmative action, crank up substantive due process to reverse any legislative enactment viewed as too liberal or progressive, and as the final coup d’état reverse Roe v. Wade – which will sow the seeds for the second American civil war.

This is what America voted for in electing Trump and this is exactly what we deserve to get.   Enjoy!

Red’s NFL Picks 2018 – Week 5

Leave a reply

Well, Week 4 was purtnear a total disaster for old Cousin Red.  He went 1-5 with only his undying faith in the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes being rewarded.  Colts’ offensive coordinator Frank Reich handing the game to the Texans in OT didn’t help either.  Nor did the Cowboys offense actually coming to life – sort of.  Or the Patriots remembering that they were the Patriots.  Excuses, excuses.  Anyhow, that brings Red down to 6-12 for the season – “Stop digging boys!”

Your Game of the Week Game of the Week – Chiefs over Jaguars.  If the Andy Reid show (starring Patrick Mahomes and featuring Kareem Hunt, Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce and the Sad Sack Defense) can put up 35 points against the vaunted Jaguars defense, then as Keith Jackson used to say – “Katy bar the door!”  The Chiefs may be unstoppable.  They certainly are resilient as they looked all but dead until a crushing fourth quarter rally left the Broncos wondering “What just happened here?”  Chiefs don’t need such heroics this week.  Jags chase PM to no avail and cannot score enough points to keep up despite the Chiefs defensive inepitutude.  Chiefs 35 Jacksonville 25.

Your Texas Game of the Week – Texans over Cowboys.  Red doesn’t really have much choice this week here.  Does he pick the underperforming Texans or the hated Cowboys?  Texans also rallied against the sad sack Colts to eke out a gifted victory in OT on the road.  That cannot hurt, but it may not help much either.  Bill O’ the Clown is doing his best Jeff Fischer impersonation this season in taking what should be a relatively talented team and turning them into a loosing snoozefest.  Meanwhile the Cowboys broke out of a scoring slump – aided by the Lions’ ineptitude (something that can never be overrated).  Still the Boys are averaging a near league worst 16.8 points per game.  But given the Texans complete inability to stop the run or the pass (unless there is a sack and please dear God, let there be sacks), Red expects the Cowboys to score a bit more than average this week.  Will it be good enough?  Red would ramble on a bit more, but it’s time to piss on the proverbial fire and call this one. Houston 21 Arlington 19. 

Your National TV Game of the Week – Eagles over Vikings.  Eagles are a major disappointment so far but with Ajayi back in the fold and Carson Wentz getting warmed up, the Eagles offense should be following the lead of Guitar Steve Miller (that would be “Fly Like an Eagle” for those of you born after 1980 – and if you are bored go to one of those websites where people tell you how they misunderstood lyrics and put in Fly Like and Eagle – then sit back and guffaw – “Shoot the children with no shoes on their feet.”)  Okay, this is supposed to be about football.   Vikings defense is moving to the top of the heap and Red swears the Vikings have a quarterback – he just can’t remember who or why he should care.  Philadelphia 28 Minnesota 27.

Your Disappointing Game of the Week – Bengals over Dolphins.  When two 3-1 teams matchup at this point of the season you would expect to be watching the cream of the crop or at least some decent milkfat.  Red isn’t a believer in either of these teams.  He believed briefly in the Dolphins last week and see what that got him!  But if you were inclined to believe in one of these squads, it would probably have to be the Bengals led by the resurgent Red Rifle and a possibly recharged (at least no longer limping) Joe Mixon.  Cincinnati 19 Miami 5.

Your Time Zone Hex Game of the Week  – Jets over Broncos.  Broncos are hexed this week.  Other than that, Red really doesn’t care and neither should you.  New Jersey 24 Denver 21.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – 49ers over Cardinals. Speaking of not caring, this week’s Shit Bowl is particularly odiferous featuring two teams that have managed to eke out one win between them.  It’s a bit harder to fault the Niners having bet wildly and come up snake eyes so far on J. Garapolo.  Now they will be led by C.J. Beathard – a name which Red could have a lot of fun with if it weren’t time to get back to work.  The Cardinals made an even worse bet on Sam Bradford and have now turned to Josh Rosen.  Even still the Cards are putting up a league worst 9.2 points per game which almost impossible to fathom in the modern NFL.  What is really impossible to fathom is that anyone other than diehard fans or gambling addicts will be watching this game.  If you fall into one of those categories, please remember to glue the remote to the armrest of the LaZ-boy lest ye be tempted to gag yourself with it during the third quarter of this turgid turd tussle.   Santa Clara 28 Arizona 10.

Bands that Red Cannot Stand

Leave a reply

Red has been thinking about music a lot lately.  Red’s near complete lack of musical talent makes him appreciate it all the much more.  But there are certain bands/artists that will cause Red to change the channel almost immediately.  And exactly why is something of a mystery.  Oh, Red can put some of it into words, but why is there such a visceral dislike.  Why the jarring of the nerves, the grinding of teeth, the white-hot hatred pounding the frontal lobe?  Perhaps bad memories evoking primal rage?  Or who knows – it just happens.  So while Red realizes these may be fighting words, here goes.

  1. Steely Dan – overproduced, pretentious pseudo-intellectual soft rock from a band named after a dildo.
  2. The Doobie Brothers – Red actually went to see them once.  That sealed the deal.
  3. Yes – The worst of the 70’s with annoying vocals – who actually sounds like that?
  4. Randy Travis – pandering pathetic platitudes of patriotism.
  5. Rush – noise accompanied by possibly even more annoying vocals than Yes.
  6. AC/DC – for those about to rock – listen to something else.
  7. Foreigner – oh only if they were actually foreigners.
  8. Kansas – shaming an entire state.
  9. Kanye – for obvious reasons.
  10. Plastic Ono Band – an aural assault posing as art.

Quote for the Day

2 Replies

“I think he’s got a good shot. If he wins, it will be part of Texas political history, standing beside Lyndon Johnson’s 1937 congressional race in terms of personal effort, and perhaps besides John Tower’s 1960 election to the U.S. Senate, in terms of consequence.”

Lawrence Wright on Beto O’Rourke’s campaign for U.S. Senate.  Red wants to believe, yet cannot.  Rafael “Lyin’ Ted” Cruz (TP-Texas) will probably win by at least 5 points.

I-14 Update – Student Coalition Supports Interstate 14

Leave a reply

A small part of construction on new Interstate 14 is underway.  Now a student coalition is promoting a complete I-14 stretching from Georgia to west Texas.  The Youth Infrastructure Coalition  wants an I-14 that would create an east-west alternative accross the southern reaches of the US between I-10 and I-20.  Frank Lumpkin, YIC’s founder started the group to promote infrastructure and economic growth in an underserved area.  In Texas, I-14 would run from the Louisiana border near Jasper, through Huntsville, Bryan/College Station, Temple/Killeen and hook up with I-10 near Fort Stockton.

“If you look at a map and take the demographics of those regions, you’ll find the median household income average is about 22 percent below the average for the entire United States. So, there’s definitely disparity and facts show it.”

YIC envisions I-14 being created primarily be the expansion and improvement of existing highways as a less expensive alternative to building an entirely new highway.  In contrast to Rick Perry’s Texas Trans-Corridor proposal – which drew near universal outrage and opposition –  I-14 seems to be winning local support as a number of municipalities that would be affected have passed resolutions in support of the super-highway.

Astros Local Playoff Coverage Limited

Leave a reply

Houston Astros regular season games are broadcast on AT&T SportsNet Southwest which also provides pre-game and post-game coverage and analysis.  However, during the playoffs, ATTSNSW will be the only regional sports network that will not provide such coverage.   ATTSNSW is declining to provide the local angle because “they don’t have the rights to broadcast the games.”  They are clearly the outlier as the other regional networks will provide coverage before and after each game even thought they are not actually carrying the games either.  In the American League, Yankees fans can get the local scoop on YES, Red Sox faithful on NESN, Indians supporters on SportsTime Ohio and A’s hangers-on on NBC Sports California.  But for Astros fans, the final chance to hear Todd Kalas, Geoff Blum, Julia Morales, Kevin Eschenfelder and Mike Stanton chat up the Astros will be before and after the final game of the regular season on Sunday.  Sad!

Red’s Best Truck Driving Songs

Leave a reply

For some inexplicable reason, Red was thinking about the 70’s and the heyday of truck driving music.  Red fondly remembers seeing the top truck driving music band of the 70’s (see No. 5) several times at the Armadillo World Headquarters and elsewhere.   Here’s Red’s list of the best truck driving songs around.  Warning, after No. 5 or so, Red is having to stretch a bit.

  1. Willin’ – Little Feat (Linda Rondstadt version is also excellent)
  2. Six Days on the Road – Dave Dudley (Sawyer Brown also hit the charts with this one)
  3. Truck Drivin’ Man – Terry Fell (recorded by countless others)
  4. I’ve Been Everywhere – Johnny Cash version (Hank Snow’s first U.S. version is not bad either but few know that this was originally written by Australian Geoff Mack and referenced Australian towns)
  5. Mama Hated Diesels – Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen (written by Blackie Farrell – Red remembers lead singer Billy C. asking the audience at the Armadillo – “We got any truck drivers here tonight?”)
  6. White Line Fever – Merle Haggard (redefines plaintive)
  7. East Bound and Down – Jerry Reed (better song than the movie)
  8. Truck Driver’s Sweetheart – Kitty Wells (What can he say? Red likes Kitty Wells.)
  9. Drivin’ My Life Away – Eddie Rabbit (you must admit it’s catchy)
  10. Phantom 309 – Red Sovine (pure schmaltz served with sugar, but sung by a guy named Red)

Houston Dynamo Champions

Leave a reply

Image result for lamar hunt us open cup trophy

Congratulation to Manager Wilmer Cabrera and the Houston Dynamo squad as they defeated the Philadelphia Union 3-0 on Wednesday to claim the 105th Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup.

Forward Mauro Manotas led the way with a brace scoring in the 5th and 25th minute of the match with assists from Albert Elis.  Manotas claimed the Open Cup’s Golden Boot award with the second goal totaling five goals for the tournament and 20 goals in all competitions this year.  The game ending goal came  in the 65th minute when forward Romell Quioto’s shot was saved by Union keeper Andre Blake but the clearance by Auston Trusty failed resulting in an own goal.

The Open Cup victory means the Dynamo will return to the CONCACAF Champions League in 2019.  This was the Dynamo’s first U.S. Open Cup title.  The club previously won the Major League Soccer Cup in 2006 and 2007 shortly after relocating to Houston.