Tag Archives: NFL Predictions

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 12

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Red was 4-2 on the straight up picks.  Red is now a very respectable 40-26 over 11 weeks of the season.  On the money line – let’s just say it was a bad week.  Red’s only winner was taking the Falcons and the points.

Answer to Last Weeks Trivia: On September 21, 1951, Norm Van Brocklin of the LA Rams threw for 554 yards against the New York Titans.

This Weeks Trivia Question:  Which 2 teams have the longest Thanksgiving Day rivalry?

Your Oyster Stuffing Pick of the Week: Chargers over Cowboys.  You can’t quite put a fork in the Cowboys – but you can prod them with your instant read thermometer (highly recommended when you are smoking a Turkey ala Red). Chargers would be in the thick of it having gone 4-2 over the last 6 games.  But then there was that stretch where they lost games to Broncos, Dolphins and Eagles that were all but won.  Their 54 point smack down of the fading Bills last week let everyone know that the Chargers’ offense is back.  Speaking of fading – there is the Dallas defense which (w/o Sean Lee) seems incapable of stopping anything short of a high school team.   The Eagles scored at will in the second half on Sunday in what must have been a richly deserved humiliation for J. Jones and crew.  Chargers score at will until they get tired of winning.  Take the over at 48 if you think the Cowboys can muster two field goals – Red isn’t so sure that they can.  Los Angeles 48 Arlington 10.

Your Cranberry Relish Pick of the Week: Vikings over Lions.  All over Houston, UH fans are saying “I told you so.”  Nothing is more offensive to Red’s ears than happy UH fans.  Nonetheless, Red must give CK his props.  Will the magic continue this week?  This could be your NFL GAME OF THE WEEK.  Vikings are giving up 3.  Take it.  Minnesota 29 Detroit 24.

Your Pecan Pie Pick of the Week: Texans over Ravens –  Texans showed signs of the Savage Life in last week’s win over the hapless and hospitalized Cards.  Tom is not Terrific but neither is he Terrible.  He is a mediocre back up QB on a mediocre team whose defense has been crippled by loss of Watt, Mercilus and Cushing.  Ravens have skunked two bad offenses so far this season (Dolphins and Rodgersless Packers).  Texans have to put points on board early.  They have enough speed and Savage has enough arm to put up some big plays if only there would be time to throw deep.  There won’t be.  Texans are getting 7.5 and that looks tempting but Red is taking the Over at 38.  Houston 21 Baltimore 20.

Your Candied Yams Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Bills.  Two fading teams face off in a lackluster matchup.  Red is almost too bored to pick this game.  He is too bored to say anything more about it.  Chiefs giving up 10 at home looks tempting against a completely lost Bills squad.  KC 35 Orchard Park, NY 14.

Your Gravy Pick of the Week:  Rams over Saints –  Red happened to be in the Crescent City last Sunday and seriously thought about attending the game but he already had enough football watching Tulane push around UH on Saturday despite being slower smaller and more intelligent.  On Sunday, Red estimates that more than half of New Orleans residents out on the street or in a bar watching the game were either wearing Saints gear or dressed in black and gold (e.g. black top and leggings and gold lame miniskirt).  Saints’ fans are passionate about their team in a way that is probably unmatched outside of Wisconsin, Seattle and Pittsburgh.  Saints were all but left for dead last Sunday (see below) and somehow managed to win.  They are either the team of destiny in the NFC (the Eagles may have something to say about that) or they have peaked too early.  It’s hard to say.  On the other had, the Rams are coming off of their worst game of the season  after getting smoked by C. Keenum and Co. in the frozen hinterlands.  The Rams have bounced back from every loss this season – but this one requires a helluva bounce.  Red is counting on the double reverse time zone inverse humidity index hex in this one.  The Rams are getting 2.5 at home.  That’s not enough for a betting man! And the O/U is a hefty 53.  If Red were forced to bet he might take over.  Rams 30 Saints 27.

Your Turkey Pick of the Week:  Giants over OTNAs – OTNAS are reeling from last week’s OT loss to the Saints in a game that (with about 4 minutes left) they had a 99.6% statistical chance of winning.  K. Cousins and crew had a look of utter disbelief that they had blown this game and a chance to get a leg up on NFC Wildcard rivals.  Teams either bounce back from such ignominious defeats or the fold up like a pup tent.  This week will show what the OTNAs are made of – and its cheap canvas.  The Giants aren’t nearly as bad as their record shows – but they are bad enough to secure this game as the week’s Shit Bowl.  But an entertaining Shit Bowl that might even rouse Red from his dopamine drowsiness on Thursday night just in time to watch the Giants rally and defeat the OTNAs in OT.  Nonetheless, prudence requires Red to warn all to keep that turkey leg and carving knife locked up lest ye be tempted to carve the leg into a shiv and plunge it into your femoral artery sometime before half time of this doleful doo-doo doubling.  Red (and he can’t believe he is saying this) likes the over at 44.5.   New Jersey 26 Landover, MD 20.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 11

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Hoo-hah.  Red rolled a strike last week going 6-0 on the straight up picks.  That brings your peerless prognosticator to 36-24 for the season.  Against the money line it was more like Ho-hum as Red went 3-3

Vikings -3  – paid $

Texans +11 – bust

Titans/Bengals over – paid $

Niners/Giants under – bust

Stealers -10 – bust

Panthers/Dolphins over – paid $

Answer to last week’s trivia:  Joe Gibbs won 17 playoff games in 16 seasons.

This week’s trivia:  Which NFL quarterback holds the record for most passing yards in a single game?

Your Flying Dutchman Pick of the Week:  Raiders over Patriots.  This is Red relying purely on the triple reverse time zone, inverse longitudinal shift, head-trip whack job all-in hex.  Everything else favors the Pats.  But Red dances with the one who brung him.  It’s a risky move and you are warned to not try this at home but Red is inclined to take the Raiders plus 7 playing at home against the Patriot Juggernaut.  Oakland 28 New England 27.

Your LA Rams Pick of the Week: Vikings over Rams.  The Rams could do no wrong last Sunday.  Of course, they were playing the hapless, rudderless, hopeless Texans. And the Rams have been playing pretty heady ball with the Goff and Gurley Show (sounds like a crack British comedy team) putting up an eye-opening 33 points per game and a better than expected defense  under the redoubtable Wade Phillips.  The Vikings, as said before, are doing it with smoke, mirrors and Case Keenum – but they are doing it.  Can we now admit that it was a mistake for the Texans to let CK go?  Red really likes the over at 46 here.  Minnesota 35 Los Angeles 30. .

Your Big Yards Pick of the Week: Eagles over Cowboys.  You can’t quite stick a fork in the Cowboys just yet, but you can prod them with your instant-read thermometer a little bit.  A win here solidifies the Eagles as the team to beat in the NFC.  Meanwhile, the Cowboys December swoon has apparently started early this year.  Without their designated girl-beater in tow, Red is again resurrecting the Red Rule – which as longtime  readers know is — Drum Roll — SCORE 13 POINTS AND BEAT THE COWBOYS! Red likes the Eagles to cover the 48.5 O/U all by their lonesome.  Philadelphia 50 Arlington 10.

Your Slinging Pick of the Week:  Titans over Stealers.  Red is sticking with his team of destiny in the AFC.  Nuff said.  Well not quite enough.  Since getting rolled and smoked by Deshaun Watson, the Titans are 4-1 having beat a plethora of bad teams and losing to the Dolphins.  This is the real playoff stretch drive test for the Titans. Beat the Stealers in Week 11 to go 7-3 and the playoffs are within your grasp with four patsies up next before ending the season at home with the Rams and a possible division deciding game against the Jaguars.   Take the Titans and 7.  Tennessee 23 Pittsburgh 17.

Your On a Wing and a Prayer Pick of the Week:  Falcons over Seahawks.  Losing Richard Sherman the week before playing the Falcons is very much like the proverbial taking of a knife to a gun fight.  Falcons are riding high after demolishing the Cowboys on Sunday.  The Seahawks will not be demolished but they may very well lose.  Here is the telling stat for the Seahawks – Russell Wilson is their leading rusher with 290 yards.   Red will go with the Falcons getting 3 on the road.  Atlanta 21 Seattle 20.

Your Weird Throwing Motion Pick of the Week:  Texans over Cards.  Simply put, someone has to win this week’s Shit Bowl.  The only good thing to come out of this season for Texans fans may be the overdue exit of Bill O’ the Clown as head coach.  Not sure if anything good is going to happen as a result of the Cards sucking gas.  Speaking of sucking gas, make sure all the gas outlets are secured, the valve at the meter is closed and all hand tools are safely out of reach, lest ye be tempted to stick your head in the oven after Tom Savage is sacked for the 7th time – in the first half if this turgid turd tussle.  The over/under is 43.5.  Are these guys paying the slightest bit of attention to the exact degree of suckitude that these two offenses are displaying right now?  Take the under.  Houston 13 Arizona 10.

 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 10

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Last week Red was off – way off – going 1-5 on the straight up picks.  He is now 30-24 for the season and definitely trending in the wrong direction.  That ends this week and Red is back on making some money line picks after checking his bank statement this week.  Take that however you will.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  The Pittsburgh Stealers won their 450th game since the 1970 merger on Sunday.  That puts them at the top of the total wins column by a decent margin.

This Week’s Trivia:  What NFL coach has the best playoff win to seasons coached ratio over the course of a more than 10 year career?

Your Hey Joe Pick of the Week: Rams over Texans.  Red got to witness the white hot fire that is Tom Savage in person last week.  In fairness to Tom, the Texans receivers couldn’t find an opening with a compass and when TS dropped back he had about 2.5 seconds of peace before all holy hell was at his doorstep.  That and a lot of rust – a lot of rust, doomed the Texans against a limp-dicked Colts squad.  Meanwhile on the West Coast, the Rams are real team – at least for the present.  Will they be able to manage that transition from the doormat/also-ran afterthought they have been for more than a decade to a playoff contender piquing real interest?  It is a hard transition when people start to expect you to win.  And a win this week is expected.  For that reason, Red likes the Texans + 11.  Los Angeles 24 Houston 20.

Your NASCAR Pick of the Week: Panthers over Dolphins.  Why is it so easy to forget that the Panthers are 6-3 and in the thick of it for the playoffs? Not to mention in the running for the best record in the NFC should the Eagles stumble down the stretch?  Why is it so easy to forget that the Dolphins have an offense?  Well it might have something to do with their dead-last point output of 14.5 per game.  Defense and special teams play has bailed them out so far and with a 4-4 record they are in the playoff hunt – well they’re sniffing the butts of the horses that the teams that are in the playoff hunt are riding. Hey, but that’s something!  This is a matchup of one excellent defense (Panthers) and pretty good defense (Dolphins) and thus, we have a troubling 39.5 O/U.  When expectations are that low, Red goes high – take the over and sit in your sweat lodge.  Carolina 28 Miami 14.

Your OTNAs Pick of the Week: Vikings over OTNA’s.  The good news for the OTNA’s is that they have beaten the Rams, Raiders, Niners and Seahawks.  The bad news is the only West Coast team left on the schedule is the Chargers.  Well that and that they don’t have to play the Eagles again.  The Vikings are doing it with smoke, mirrors and Case Keenum.  CK has been the leading passing in the Vikings games for the last six weeks.  Either he is tearing it up or the Vikes defense is giving holy hell to other team’s quarterback.  That streak may end this week with Kirk Cousins at the helm.  Red still likes the Vikings giving up 3 on the road.  Minnesota 31 Landover, MD 27.

Your Winning Pick of the Week: Stealers over Colts.  Colts had their game of the season last week – that is if you can call beating the hopelessly crippled Texans an achievement.  Stealers are for real – they are always for real it seems.  Take the Stealers giving up 10.  But don’t take it too far.  Pittsburgh 35 Indianapolis 13.

Your Playoff Drive Pick of the Week: Titans over Bengals.  Titans are definitely not living up to Red’s lofty expectations so far – but a 7-1 record down the stretch is not far fetched given the Titans remaining schedule.  Yes, they have to  play the Stealers and Rams but other than that it is games in the division and against the Niners and Cards.  They are still Red’s team of destiny.  The Bengals are on fast track to Nowheresville – which actually has some decent restaurants according to Yelp!  Red likes the over at 41 here.  Tennessee 29 Cincinnati 20

Your Flaming Turd Pick of the Week: 49ers over Giants.  One thing is clear, Eli Manning should have quit while he was behind.  His reasonably decent legacy is being tarnished by the ugliness of the current season.  Eli’s numbers are not awful but his team is.  Meanwhile in San Francisco – Red is convinced that if he keeps picking the Niners every week they will eventually win.  It isn’t working so far.  Take the under at 42 when these two old worn out used up warhorses meet.  Oh, and if you hadn’t guessed this one just might qualify for Shit Bowl of the Year.  So put away the drain cleaner just in case you are tempted to spike your bloody maria with a little Drano during the second quarter of this beastly bowel battle. Santa Clara 13 New Jersey 12.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 9

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Red was 3-3 last week and stands at 29-19 for the season.  Red laid off the money line last week and will do that again this week.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia.  The last time no NFL games were on TV was Sunday November 24, 1963.  All the games were played that week.  However, all of the networks were carrying wall to wall coverage of the assassination of Pres. Kennedy and its aftermath.  Commissioner Pete Rozelle called the decision to play games that Sunday the worst mistake of his career.

This Week’s Trivia Question:  Since the merger in 1970, which NFL team has won the most regular season and playoff games?

Your Winning Percentage Pick of the Week: Bills over Jets.  The Bills continue to surprise everyone – especially Red.  A bold move this week in picking up Kelvin Benjamin to shore up a weak WR corps shows that the Bills mean business about winning this season.  Bills will continue to win if ground game stays alive and passing game comes alive – even with a sad sack defense.  Jets, Shcmets.  Orchard Park 23 New Jersey 14.

Your Merger Pick of the Week: Falcons over Panthers.  The two biggest disappointments in the league match up here.  Ennui reigns.  Atlanta 13 Carolina 12.

Your Old AFL Team Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Cowboys.  A nice matchup of two teams that both used to play in Dallas.  Chiefs had enough sense to move far far away from Big D.  Will Ezekiel E. play?  Cowboys have yet to beat a good team with wins over Cards, Giants, Redskins and Niners.  Chiefs already have quality wins over Pats, Eagles and Texans (sort of).  Take the team that can beat a good team.  KC 35 Arlington 24

Your League Switching Pick of the Week: Texans over Colts.  If they can’t beat the Colts, the Texans need to pack it in and let the World Series Champion Houston Astros have all of the limelight.  Houston 45 Indianapolis 12

Your Old NFL Team Pick of the Week: Eagles over Broncos.  Eagles are Red’s team of destiny.  Broncos are reduced to starting Brock Osweiler.  Red actually expects BO to play decently, but not decently enough to overtake the red hot Eagles.  Philadelphia 32 Denver 25

Your Merge This Out Pick of the Week: Niners over Cardinals.  This week’s Shit Bowl is especially stinky with the crippled Cards taking on the hapless Niners.  The word is that Jimmy Garrapolo will not play after being cast aside like a used condom by the Patriots and banished to the land of the lost on the West Coast.  Red thinks he plays and takes the bit in his teeth.  Santa Clara 17 Arizona 3.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 8

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Image result for matt prater card

Last week Red was 3-3 which drags down the average but Red is still well ahead of last season with a 26-16 record for the season.  Against the money line, Red was a bit shaky last week but is still making it for his readers:

Raiders to cover – Paid $

Raiders/Chief over – Paid $

49ers to cover – Bust

49ers/Cowboys under – Bust

Rams to cover – Paid $

Rams/Cards over – Bust

Falcons to cover – Bust

Jags to cover – Paid $

Jags/Colts  over – Bust

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  Matt Prater kicked a 64 yard field goal for the Denver Broncos in 2013 in their game against the Titans.

This Week’s Trivia:  When was the last time that no NFL games appeared on TV during a week of the regular season?

Your TV Game of the Week:  Chiefs over Broncos.  Well at the beginning of the season if you had told Ol’ Red that this would be the NFL Game of the Week, he would have not wanted some of what you were smoking.  But here it is.  This is probably the best game of the week in a week of rather sad sack matchups.  The Broncos looked sad losing 21-0 to the Chargers last week (one of an incredible shutouts last week).  The Chiefs at least managed to eke out a loss to the Raiders.  But here you have a 3-3 team up against a team on a two game losing streak and it’s your best game of the week.  This is a good week to catch up on your reading, clean out the garage, polish your shoes or maybe spend some time with the family.  KC 21 Denver 13

Your Please Don’t Televise this Game of the Week: Bengals over Colts.  It’s also hard to pick a Shit Bowl this week.  Among the many choices, however, this one stands out.  Red just cannot figure out how the Colts have managed to actually win two games until he remembers that they have beaten the Browns and the 49ers.  The Colts chances of beating a less than awful team are less than likely this year.  The Bengals are a bad team with an offense so horrible that a mediocre rookie running back is mouthing off about lack of carries.  Fortunately for the Bengals, the Colts are even worse.  Red can’t wait to see the fireworks when the 28th and 29th ranked offenses take the field.  If you are lucky, you will be temporarily blinded in an industrial accident on Friday and miss out on seeing this Beastly Bowel Battle.  Ten bucks says the World Series games has a higher combined score on Sunday. Cincinnati 5 Indianapolis 2.

Your Red will Watch Anything Game of the Week:  Patriots over Chargers.  The homeless waifs that are the Chargers seemed to find themselves last week in dismantling the Broncos.  Unfortunately, they must travel far to the east and north this week to face the soulless machine that are the Patriots.  The few loyal Chargers fans have hearts ripped out by the third quarter.  Red invokes the triple time zone, latitudinal inverse weather shift hex this week.   New England 42 Los Angeles 24

Your Regular Season Game of the Week: Buccaneers over Panthers.  Bucs season is over if they lose this one.  Bucs have an offense that can beat anyone but seems to struggle in the clutch.  Panthers are a total mystery.  They score 33 and beat the Pats.  They score 9 and beat the Bills.  They score 3 and lose to Bears.  This is your classic regular season game pitting two teams going nowhere in a gladiatorial struggle for the entertainment of a the bored public.  Tampa Bay 35 Carolina 25

Your Presidential Game of the Week: OTNAs over Cowboys. Red will keep picking the Cowboys to lose until they do.  Landover, MD 17 Arlington 13.

Your Accidental Texas Game of the Week: Texans over Seahawks.  Texans have been able to put up some impressive numbers against some unimpressive defenses since Deshaun Watson took over the helm.  The Seahawks are not the Seahawks of Old anymore, but they are still a better than average unit.  The key will be the Texans’ 3rd ranked running attack.  A credible running game will force the S’hawks into more man coverage and then look for Will Fuller to break loose.  Texans have field day with this one.  Houston 36 Seattle 13.  

 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 7

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Image result for ernie nevers card

Last Week Red was 5-1 on the pure picks putting him at an excellent 23-13 for the season. Against the money line, Red did okay:

Buccaneers to cover –  Bust (but J. Winston went down)

Saints to cover – Paid $

Saints/Lions Under – Bust

Texans to Cover – Paid $

Eagles to Cover – Paid $

Eagles/Panthers Over – Paid $

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  On November 28, 1929, Ernie “Big Dog” Nevers scored all 40 points in the Chicago Cardinals’ 40–6 victory over the Bears. Nevers scored on six touchdowns (also an NFL record) and four extra points.

This Week’s Trivia:  Which player kicked the longest field goal in NFL history?  Bonus points for getting the yardage.

Your Ass Kicking Pick of the Week:  Raiders over Chiefs.  The NFL game of the week is not usually on Thursday night, but this has the makings of a barn burner.  The Chiefs came down to earth last week losing to the resurgent Stealers.  The Raiders have struggled and losing to the Chargers is frankly embarrassing even given that “on any given Sunday” nonsense.  Raiders need a win because a 2-5 record will get you an early vacation 9 times out of 10.  Raiders need to figure out what is wrong with the Beast and get offense moving.  Raiders are getting 3.  They probably need more.  If they win it will be close.  Red does like the over at 47.  Oakland 28 KC 27.

Your High Kicking Pick of the Week: 49ers over Cowboys.  Red is high on the real thing – Jesus, Coke Zero and Premium Sausage Sticks – in picking the 0-6 Niners to beat even a sagging 2-3 Cowboys squad.  But a guy can dream can’t he? And there is always the Red Rule – Score 14 points and beat the Cowboys.  Take the Niners and 6 and the under at 47.   Santa Clara 17 Arlington 10.

Your “Kick Me” Pick of the Week: Rams over Cardinals.  The Cards 32nd ranked rushing game got a pick-me-up from Adrian Peterson (of Palestine, Texas) on Sunday.  It’s amazing what you can get for a 6th round draft pick these days. The Cards and AD both needed that one.  Red thinks that continues this season, but not necessarily this week.  The Rams are well balanced and happy to be winning before uncaring “crowds” in the Coliseum.  After this win, the Rams are 5-2 and suddenly a hot ticket in the City of LA.  The Rams getting 3.5 is not the bet of the year, but take it anyway.  Red also likes the over at 47 – but he doesn’t like it a whole lot. Los Angeles 31 Arizona 24

Your Kick Starter Pick of the Week: Bengals over Stealers.  Red has to pick six games every week under this rubric.  Yawn!  Red is sure this game matters to someone, he just doesn’t know who.  The Bengals getting 5 points does get Red’s attention and he will jump on that one given the problems with the Steel ShowerCurtain.  The O/U at 41 is mysterious and opaque and to be avoided.  Cincinnati 23 Pittsburgh 21

Your Kick Butt Pick of the Week: Falcons over Patriots.  The Falcons could easily be like 1-4 as they have been unconvincing in any game this season.  The 4-2 Patriots are on schedule for a less than exhilarating 12 win season.  This is a road bump, however, and if the Falcons can’t get it up for the team that humiliated them before a world-wide audience in February, they need to pack it in and let a real team lead the way in the NFC.  Red takes the Birds and 3.5, but will avoid the hefty 56O/U line. Atlanta 28 (sound familiar?) New England 24.

Your Kickapoo Joy Juice Pick of the Week: Jaguars over Colts.  My how the tables have turned. This one is too easy really.  But who said Red had to work hard on Thursday.  Take the Jags giving up a three-spot and the Jags to cover the over at 43 by their lonesome.  J’ville 44 Indiantown 2.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 6

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Image result for chicago 73 washington 0

Last week Red was 3-3 again.  For the season Red is 18-12.  On the money line, it wasn’t so great a week:

Packers covered the spread and Red made good on the over – $ paid

Bengals covered the spread (barely) – $ paid

Buccaneers failed to cover the spread (barely) and missed wildly on the over – Bust

Giants/Chargers blew through the over – Bust

Answer to Last Weeks Trivia:  The final score was Bears 73 OTNAs 0 in the 1940 NFL championship game which set multiple records including largest margin of victory.  No other NFL team has hit the 70’s.

This Week’s Trivia:  Which player scored the most points in an NFL game?  Hint: You have to go back a long ways to find this one.

Your Chicago Connection Pick of the Week –  Bears over Ravens. Well, after more or less stating that he would never pick the Bears (as they keep finding new and imaginative ways to lose), Red is stretching this week to find an upset.  Ravens are favored by 7.  The 1-4 Bears need a win badly.  The 3-2 Ravens are surprising a lot of analysts (Red including) by not sucking.  Red will likely regret this one, but at least he won’t lead you down the wrong path by recommending any bets here.  Chicago 17 Baltimore 16.

Your Second Chicago Connection Pick of the Week – Buccaneers over Cardinals.  Jameis Winston seems to show up for work every other week.  Meanwhile, Carson Palmer seems to have gone into early retirement.  Well, early retirement would have been 3 years ago, but CP seems ready for the rest home now.  Bucs’ offense struggled against a weak Pats defense last week.  Look for a break out game against the ragged remnants of what used to be a top tier NFL defense.  Amazingly, the Cards are favored by a whole point!  Red thinks the Bucs cover that rather easily.  Tampa Bay 28 Arizona 17.   

Your Throw Down a 40 Pick of the Week – Saints over Lions.  See below re: Lions.  Saints have to win a few games this season.  Why not this one?  Saints are getting 4 points at home.  Take that and the under at 51.  New Orleans 20 Detroit 17. 

Your Extra Point Pick of the Week – Texans over Browns.  It was a sad Sunday night for Texans fans.  The majority of the mourning was for the loss of JJ Watt for the second season in a row.   Watt’s first 5 seasons in the league are the stuff of legends, but losing most of a second season in a row is putting what seemed to be a certain Hall of Fame career in doubt.  As longtime sports radio host Charlie Palillo says, “Attendance is part of the grade.”  Red was in the vast minority by being more upset about the loss of Whitney Mercilus.  WM is actually the more versatile player if not as disruptive as JJW.  Watt can be “replaced” with a defensive lineman.  Mercilus is a tougher proposition as he lines up in multiple positions.  Well, the tonic for tragedy is the Browns.  Texans are a heavy favorite, but Red is skeptical of giving up 12 points ever.  He is also skeptical of ever betting on the Browns to cover.  However, the over at 44 looks tempting given the number of points the Texans are putting up since Deshaun Watson took over – Dude is a scoring machine and he will have to be if the Texans are to win games with the loss of their top two defenders.   Houston 39 Cleveland 21.

Your Stanford Connection Pick of the Week – Titans over Colts.  Red is so far rather highly disappointed with the Titans who he picked to go 13-3.  Well that obviously aint happening.  And who gives up 57 points to the Texans anyway?  The defense righted the ship allowing only 16 points last week.  But the offense without Mariota is a rudderless wreck.  There is no line yet because of that unknown factor.  If Mariota is back, the Titans should roll.  If not, all bets are off.  Tennessee 21 Indianapolis 14.

Your Unparalleled Excellence Pick of the Week – Eagles over Panthers.  After encountering the high-powered Eagles offense last week, the once-vaunted Cardinals defense was carried off the field in a basket.  Meanwhile the Panthers were efficient in dispatching a Lions team unlikely to beat any team with a winning record at season end.  Expect the Panthers to put up a better fight than the hapless Cards, but the Eagles offense has Carson Wentz in full control and is averaging almost 400 yards per game.  Somehow the Eagles are getting 3 points.  This may be the betting opportunity of the season.  Double up on the Eagles and the over at 45.  Philadelphia 35 Carolina 24. 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 3

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Red was 5-1 on straight up picks in Week 2.  That puts Red at a respectable 8-4 for the season.  Red also made some decent calls on the betting line.

Eagles/Chiefs over – paid $

Seahawks/Niners under – paid $

Broncos +3 – paid $

Falcons/Packers over – paid $

Broncos/Cowboys under – bust

Chargers/Dolphins over – bust

Ka-ching!

Answer to last week’s trivia question:  Warren Moon was inducted into the Canadian Football Hall of Fame in 2001 and the NFL Hall of Fame in 2006.  At the time of his retirement, Moon held combined CFl/NFL records for most pass attempts, pass completions, passing yards, and touchdowns, all of which have since been broken.

This week’s trivia question:

Which player had the longest scoring run from scrimmage in NFL history?

Your Longest Yard Pick of the Week – Raiders over OTNAs.  Red hasn’t finalized his season ending picks yet – which is kind of cheating – okay really cheating, but the Raiders in their current form and playing in a dilapidated POS of a stadium  are looking more and more like a team that could possibly, if they stay healthy, on a good weather day and with all the breaks going in their favor, actually beat the hated evil empire of the defending NFL Champion Patriots.  How’s that for a Conradesque sentence?  The Raiders offense (con El Beast) is trending towards unstoppable at times.  Meanwhile the OTNAs are living down to doormat of the NFC East status.  Take the Raiders giving up somewhere between 7 and 34.   Oakland 45 Landover, MD 10

Your Pennsylvania Pick of the Week – Eagles over Giants.  The Eagles loss to the peaking to soon Chiefs may be a good thing in the long run.  They lost no ground on the Cowboys and actually were in this game until Carson Wentz gave away 7 points.  You can’t give the Chiefs anything right now.  Meanwhile the Giants are muddled mess searching for an offense and wondering what happened to their vaunted D.  Take the Eagles giving up 3.5.  Take it to the bank.  Philadelphia 21 New Jersey 13

Your Texas Pick of the Week – Patriots over Texans.  Does Red really have to explain this pick?  Pats lead all-time series 8-1 (including playoff buttwhippings in 2012 and 2016 seasons).  Texans have never been close in a game played at Foxboro.  The closest they have come to winning a meaningful game against the Pats was in 2003 when they took them to OT in a sloppy game on a Sunday night in November.  The only victory in the series was the season-ender in 2009 when they eked out a win over a Pats team that had nothing to play for and Texans were fighting for their first winning season ever.  Tom Brady v. DeShaun Watson, Bellicheat v. Bill O’ the Clown.  Dynasty v. Definition of Mediocrity.  Maybe the Texans will surprise by keeping it close – a moral victory this early in the season.  Red likes the under at 43.5.  Texans are getting 13.5 which might look nice, but don’t be a sucker. New England  24 Houston 10.

Your Running Out of Bounds Pick of the Week – Browns over Colts.  The first Shit Bowl of the year.  And a particularly huge stinking turd of a game this will be – except for the fact that Browns fans will get to celebrate the first of a few hard fought wins this week.  If your are unfortunate enough to live in an area that will be broadcasting this game, please fasten your seat belts and put your tray tables in an upright position before settling in to watch this Boring Bowel Battle.  Cleveland (+2.5) is a favorite on the road for the first time in 3 years.  Which tells you two things: (1) if that somehow interests you and you are even thinking you might be somehow inclined to bet on this game, you my friend have a serious problem; and (2) the Colts have hit bottom and are still digging.  Cleveland 17 Indianapolis 9.

Your Heisman Trophy Pick of the Week –  Titans over Seahawks.   Mr. M. Mariota seemed to find the formula last week against a pretty good Jaguars defense.  Seahawks defense is probably better – but not that much better and Seahawks offense looks particularly inept right now – which is something of an insult to the inept.  Titans have a nice rushing duo with Henry and Murray and an efficient passing game.  They will win a lot of games the old-fashioned way –  with ball control and defense.    The under looks pretty tempting at 43, but Red says so with some trepidation as he can resist anything but temptation.   Tennessee 20 Seattle 10.

Your Rookie of the Year Pick of the Week –  Jaguars over Ravens.  The Jaguars travel to their home away from home at Wembley in London (future home of the London Lords in 2025 Red predicts) for the Sunday breakfast taco game at La Casa Rojo this week.   The Jags are actually 2-2 in England since the NFL began forcing them to play one home game a year “across the pond.”  And they have won the last two such “matches.”  They have a reasonably favorable draw in a beat-up Ravens team that can’t protect Flacco Joe and that will have to rely on Javorious Allen and some other guys for offensive punch. Meanwhile, potential ROY Leonard Fournette has one of his better games.  Red likes the Jags getting 4.5 right now.  Jacksonville 24 Baltimore 17.

 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week Two

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Red was 3-3 in Week One.

This week’s trivia question:  Who is the only player to inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio and the Canadian Football League Hall of Fame?

Your War and Peace Pick of the Week – Chiefs over Eagles.   Chiefs come off of long break high on the real thing – beating NFL Champs.  Chiefs look to have two incredible playmakers in Kareem Hunt and Tyreek Hill.  Throw in a top tier TE in Travis Kelce and maybe Alex Smith finally realizes his first overall pick potential.  Losing Eric Berry at Safety is a big hit, but the Chiefs  offense can win a lot of high scoring games.  Look for Chiefs to outscore everyone this season.  Eagles offense is no slouch either, but can’t keep up this week.  Take the over at whatever.  Kansas City 40 Philadelphia 35

Your Northwest Pick of the Week  – Seahawks over 49ers.  Seahawks are ashamed of  giant smelly turd they dropped in Wisconsin last week.  49ers are weeks away from being competitive – especially on hostile turf in the far Northwest.  Nonetheless, Seahawks offense looks inept and struggles to overcome itself but pulls away in the end.  Turd less smelly this week.  Red likes the under at 43.  Seattle 20 Santa Clara 9

Your Texas Pick of the Week  – Broncos over Cowboys.  Cowboys offense was efficient in moving ball but inefficient in scoring against a good Giants defense.  Will it fare better against a better Broncos defense? Probably not.  Broncos offense is no great shakes either.  This looks like tough defensive battle with first team to break 14 points winning.  Which means it will be a high-scoring affair.  Or not.  Or maybe.  Or not.  Make up your mind Red.  Not.  Take either the Broncos +3 or the under at 43.  Denver 15 Arlington 13.

Your Moon over Miami Pick of the Week –  Chargers get favorable draw with Dolphins attempting to overcome Reverse Triple Time Zone Hex, Tropical/Mediterranean Climate Shift Humidity and Hurricane Hangover Factor after having their city ripped up.  Will they win one for the displaced fans back home?  It didn’t work for Houston.  It won’t be enough for Dolphins either.  P. Rivers still capable of putting up awe inspiring numbers in any given week.  This is that week.  Chargers almost cover the over at 44 by their lonesome.  Los Angeles Chargers 43 Miami 21.

Your Run and Boot Pick of the Week –  Titans over Jaguars.  Jaguars are just excited to not completely suck anymore.  Of course, beating the Texans may not be much of a measure of absolute suckitude or lack thereof. Titans are disappointed after being pushed around by Raiders. With a good offensive line, Fournette looks capable of keeping Jags in a lot of games, but the loss of go-to wideout Robinson really hurts.  Titans will bounce back big time this week. Stay away from this one.   Tennessee 35 Jacksonville 20

Your Big Collapse Pick of the Week – Falcons over Packers.   This is Red’s NFL Game of the Week.  Neither team looked great last week with both teams winning by one score. The Falcons struggled on the road against the lowly Bears and the Packers were just efficient enough to dispatch the sinking Seahawks.  This will feature a match-up of what are likely to be the top two quarterbacks at season end.  And neither team has much of a defense to speak of.  The bookies think so as well with a big ass O/U line at 53.5.  Red likes over here.  Red also likes plain yogurt.  Atlanta 31 Green Bay 27. 

Just for grins if you are looking for a huge parlay, this weekend presents a rare opportunity for the intrepid bettor with multiple teams attempting to overcome the Reverse Triple Time Zone Hex.  Dolphins at Chargers, Jets at Raiders and OTNA’s at Rams all are looking at long plane rides home.

And again, Red is steering clear of the train wreck that is the Texans right now.  Although, Red kind of wishes he could have been there for the beginning of the end of the Bill O’ the Clown era of Texans football.  Pulling your starting quarterback in the first game of the season is a bush league move.  Bill O’ is a bush league kind of guy – having done that in 2 out of the last 3 seasons.

Red’s NFL Picks – AFC South

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The AFC South (once the division of excellence) is out of the woods this season and will not be the pathetic excuse for a professional football division that it has been for the last few years – despite the presence of the Jaguars.

Titans  Marcus Mariota is the best quarterback in this division. Sorry Andrew, Tom and whomever is starting for the Jaguars.  DeMarco Murray is the best running back in this division.  Titans have the best offensive line in this division.  Delanie Walker (decidedly a late bloomer) may be the best tight end in this division.  The wider receivers – eh!  But you can’t have it all.  The defense is just good enough to keep the Titans close in a lot of games.  If the ball bounces the Titans’ way this season, then they just might post the best record in the NFL.  Everyone will know after week 3 if the Titans are for real. If the Titans beat the Raiders in the opener and the Seahawks two weeks later (both home games), the buzz will be incredible as they roll into Houston on week 4.  Red can hear the bees humming now.  After dispatching the Texans, the schedule gets much easier with only three potential playoff teams (Stealers, Cardinals and Texans) on the schedule.   Titans stun the league with a 13-3 record and stroll to AFC South title.

Texans  The Texans have a great defense.  Not 84 Bears great, but possibly top twenty all time great if they force 30+ turnovers and have 50+ sacks this season.  And contrary to the public perception, it’s not all JJ Watt.  Red is suffering from a bit of JJW fatigue as heretical as that may sound.  Clowney and Whitney Mercilus (Red’s favorite) are the keys this year.  They both had tremendous seasons last year playing mostly without JJW.  Imagine what they can do when an offensive line has to focus on the big Wisconsinite as well.  The linebacking crew is solid enough and the secondary will miss Bouye but is good enough to hold coverage long enough to force opposing quarterbacks to make bad decisions.  But then there is the other side of the ball.  If the Texans can muster even a mediocre offense, they will be in a lot of games.  Red fears mediocrity may be an unreachable goal with either Savage or rookie DeShaun Watson under center and slim pickings at wideout.  Rookie D’Onta Foreman may be a force if not injured and Fiedorowizc may be moving up to elite TE status.   But may Red just say, he hopes Watson does not see serious action until late in the season.  In fact, Red will predict right now that DW will not take over until the mid-way in the Rams game in Week 10 with the 4-4 Texans trailing the Rams with the season on the line.  If Watson can right the ship at that point, the Texans have a chance to sneak into the playoffs.  But somewhere along the way, they are going to have to beat a good team.  Best chances will be at home against the Stealers or Cardinals.  Texans are 9-7 and slip under the door as the last wildcard team.

Jaguars  Can Tom Coughlin resuscitate the long dormant Jaguars? It seems like ancient history now, but when Coughlin was at the helm at the dawn of the franchise, the Jaguars surprised the football world by playing in the AFC championship game in their second season.  He made the playoffs the next 3 seasons as well – again playing for and losing the AFC title in season 5.  Since then, 3 winning seasons and no playoff victories.  By comparison, the Texans are entering their 16th season and have yet to make it past the second round of the playoffs in their 4 playoff appearances and a current 9 year playoff drought.  Coughlin has tidied up if not cleaned house with 5 new assistant coaches, multiple free agent acquisitions on defense and picking up LSU back Leonard Fournette with the 4th pick of the draft.  But under center is still Blake Bortles.  Red bet big on BB last season and doesn’t really want to talk about it. In his 4th season, BB had better show signs of life or accept his fate as a back-up quarterback.  The Jags are mediocre at best.  But after a 3-13 campaign in 2016, mere mediocrity may be viewed as a triumph.  Jacksonville goes 8-8.

Colts  Who are the Colts anymore anyway?  Red has no clue with the multiple roster changes since last season..  Unfortunately for the Colts neither does head coach Chuck Pagano who has seemed in over his head at times during back to back 8-8 seasons in a division that the Colts used rule like kings of old.  And speaking of old – there’s tired old Frank Gore who probably used up whatever was left in the tank last season when he became the first running back to rush for 1000 yards since John Riggins (OTNAs 1984).  Maybe the news gets any better on defense only because it really couldn’t get worse for the league’s 30th ranked defense.  A whole new linebacking corps led by Barkevious Mingo may help, but beyond Vontae Davis the secondary will likely remain porous.  The whole thing turns on the reappearance of Andrew Luck and that is not a good sign.  Luck at his best with a lot of fearsome weapons was not that good.  A more average Luck with little to work with could be plain awful.  But Luck is the Colts best chance to avoid ignominy this season. Maybe Punter Pat McAfee had it right.  After a nice 8 year career (including two Pro Bowl appearances) he hung up the cleats to try his had at stand-up comedy.  There will be laughs this season, but they’ll be laughing at the Colts not with them.  Indianapolis 2-14.