Tag Archives: Texas Sports

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 13

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Red just can’t quite get out of the hole he dug for himself in September. Red maintained by going 3-3 in Week 12 which puts Red at 31-33-2 for the season. He may demand a recount.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week –OTNAs overtake Cardinals. At the beginning of the season, the Cards talked about “stacking wins” presumably meaning having a couple of nice 4 to 6 game winning streaks.  Right now the Cards have been reduced to talking about “stacking first downs.” Meanwhile in Maryland, the OTNAs are putting together an offensive powerhouse with Kirk Cousins at the helm (words Red never thought he would write).  KC has 20 touchdowns and an outside shot at a 4500 yard season.  The Kelley-Jones tandem at RB is mediocre but will suffice when you have 3 receivers who might catch 80 and surpass 900 yards on the season – especially when that group does not include DeSean Jackson (who doesn’t lag too far behind in yards and TDs).  The Cards have the remarkable David Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald and squat after that. Yet somehow the Cards are favored by 2.5.  The consensus O/U is a hefty 50.5 but that doesn’t scare Red too bigly.  Take the OTNAs and the points and the over if you must.   Landover, Md. 33 Arizona 24.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Buccaneers belt Chargers. The Bucs still are in the thick of a playoff race with the Falcons in their division and other Wild Card contenders.  The Chargers are going nowhere in the incredible AFC West and have no realistic change of a Wild Card berth.  Yet the professional prognosticators are fairly unanimous in calling this one for the Chargers.  Go figure.  It might be that others are catching on to Red’s long time fixation on the triple-reverse time zone, inverse coast hex and think that the Bucs can’t win bigly on the West Coast.  Red factors that in, but he also factors in having something to play for in December and gives the edge ever so slightly to the Bucs in a match-up of equals.  But he is predicting a shoot-out that could go to OT. Tampa Bay 36 San Diego 33.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Jets jettison Colts. Not much in the old rivalry closet this week. These teams have played each other a respectable 72 including 4 post-season games.  The Colts lead 41-31 but with the Jets having won the biggest one of them all in Superb Owl III.  The Jets have had the Colts number winning 4 of the last 5 dating back to 2009 (another era in NFL terms) and won the 17-16 playoff “thriller” on the road after 2010 season.  Red predicts that Luck is the next Ryan Fitzpatrick – that is a smart QB from an academically challenging school that has early success and morphs into a caretaker QB as his career winds down.  The old caretaker wins this one but not too bigly. New Jersey 24 Indianapolis 14.

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Packers pick on Texans.  For just a moment last week, Red thought the Chargers were going to find a way to blow an 11-point lead with 41 seconds to go in the game.  But alas, these were the Texans and while Red has seen offenses suck before, the Texans offense is (with apologies to Homer Simpson) “the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”  Sorry, Red is under a court order to use that phrase at least once every season.  The Pack is back, way back, but on the way back, unless it packs its bags and heads back backwards.  And that’s just the Dom Capers-led defense.  But remember, the Chargers were supposed to have a subpar defense that was borderline godawful at stopping the run. And the Texans scored how many points last week?  Game time temps are expected to be in the low 30s with sleet and snow.  Maybe A-Rodg’s pee will freeze before it hits the bucket in his sideline tent. But Red digresses.  Please God, let this be a blizzard game so that the Texans will have one last excuse for a pitiful offensive performance.  Sadly, even at 6-6, the Texans are a good bet to win the AFC South, get a home playoff game (Ka-Ching) and get stomped bigly by the Dolphins or Chiefs or Broncos or Stealers or Ravens or . . . ??? in front of the not-so-faithful. Green Back 21 Houston 11.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Panthers punch Seahawks.  And speaking of division leaders with crappy offenses – one cannot ignore the stench emanating from the Seahawks sideline.  The current leading rusher for the Hawks is (drum roll please) C.J. Prosise with 172 yards and 1 touchdown.  With a running game like that you end up scoring 5 points.  With the falloff of the defensive unit formerly known as the “Legion”, the Hawks are going to have trouble down the stretch.  If not for playing in the god-awful NFC West, the Hawks would be lucky to be .500 and scrambling for another playoff berth with a 7-9 record.  Everyone but everyone is picking the Hawks to win this one.  Red will look like a genius when the Panthers win bigly.  Pete the Cheat still makes the playoffs for one last season, but only by default and only for one game. Carolina 35 Seattle 14.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – 49ers foul Bears. Red has pretty much avoided Chip Kelly’s disaster on the West Coast this season because he kind of likes the Chipster while thinking that he should return to being the great college football coach that he is.  Lord knows he won’t take much of a pay cut when Nebraska or the like come calling.  In the meantime, Red is really proud to present one of the shittiest of the Shit Bowls in recent memory.  Really, who hasn’t been waiting all season for the Brian Hoyer – Colin Kaepernick show down of sub-prime, fan-hated NFL quarterbacks.  It will be an exciting race to see which of these two giants of the gridiron will move past 1500 yards passing for the season first.  Throw in a little Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde at running back and you have the makings of a good afternoon nap on the couch in Red’s man cave (also known as the broom closet). Even Alshon Jeffery has managed to delight his fantasy football backers with all of 1 – count ‘em 1 – touchdown this season.  Red will be hanging the Christmas lights instead of watching this beastly bowel battle lest he string up a noose with those lights and bigly hang himself from the eaves instead. Santa Clara 10 Chicago 9.

Missing Charlie Pallilo Yet?

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The answer seems to be “Yes.”  And dissatisfaction with his replacement, the racist ass-clown Josh Innes, is growing.  A reader writes:

Innes has spent the first couple of days on air trashing his previous employer as well as mocking Charlie. What kind of classless ass talks crap to the guy that they replaced? I have never heard that behavior on radio before. And of course he immediately went to racial crap. Playing Sanford & Sons over black callers, saying that they were going to call it the “black phone” and that it would be sponsored by Frenchy’s fried chicken. That’s not funny or outrageous, it’s straight up racist. 

Red is putting the over/under on Innes at 6 months and going short.  Any takers?

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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This week we visit the not-s0-friendly confines of Rice Stadium on University Blvd in Houston as the pesky Owls take on the UTSA Roadrunners in an all avian matchup.  The Owls are in trouble at 0-5 and Coach David Baliff’s squad may be looking at a winless season if they can’t knock off the 2-3 Roadrunners this week.

UTSA is coming off a big 55-32 win over Southern Mississippi last week.  UTSA finally got its faltering ground game going as running back Jalen Rhodes tallied 165 yards and three touchdowns including an 80  yard scamper.  Rhodes barely outplayed Jarveon Williams who ran for 122 yards and two touchdowns while racking up the longest play in UTSA history with a 92 yard run.

Rice is missing on all cylinders having been competitive only against weak sister North Texas.  Other than that – it’s been pretty much blowouts for the Owls.  There is a good case to be made that the Owls are the worst team in college football so far.  Rice ranks near the bottom of the nation on both sides of the ball.  They are 117th in total yards per game on offense (335 yards); 111th in passing yards per game on offencse (162 yards); 128th in  allowing a 568.4 yards per game overall  and 213 rushing yards per game.

Red would like to see the Owls win a game, but this doesn’t look like it.  UTSA 45 Rice 20.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 5

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Don’t miss out on this week’s six-pack of NFL picks.

A big rally for Red last week going 5-1 and only missing out by picking the Jets over the seemingly faltering Seahawks. The ship is still listing but not taking on water quite as fast.  On the season Red is now 10-14.  Maybe Cousin Red needs a tough line up of games every week.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Patriots over Browns. Needs no explanation.  The line is hovering around 10 to 10.5 with an under/over of 46.5 to 47.  Red doesn’t like going that long, but this is the week.  Give up the points and take the under. New England 26 Cleveland 10.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Falcons over Broncos. Broncos are playing lights out, but so are the Falcons since Week 1 averaging 42 points over the last 3 games. Last week Matt Ryan entered the rarified air of 500 yards passing with over 300 of it to Julio Jones.  Mr. Ryan briefly flirted with breaking the longest standing individual game record around.  What’s that you ask?  Norm “the Dutchman” Van Brocklin’s single game record of 554 yards passing has stood since September 28, 1961 when he completed 27 of 41 passes and also threw for 5 touchdowns.  Maybe the years of promise are finally being realized in Georgia.  The Broncos defense hasn’t seen an act like this one yet.    Atlanta 41 Denver 35.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Raiders over Chargers. Not much to choose from in the rivalry column this week.  These two old AFL foes have played each other at least twice every year since 1960, but have only met once in the playoffs with the Chargers winning a shoot out after the 1980 season.  Red has been on the Raiders bandwagon for a while now and it seems to be paying off.  The Chargers have had the better of this series for almost 15 years, but the times they are a changing in California. Oakland 33 San Diego 17 .

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Bengals over Cowboys.  Der Bengals need this one.  They need a win on the road against a hot team and to avoid falling into a 2-3 hole in what is looking to be tough division (excluding the lowly Browns of course).  Meanwhile, Los Cowboys have exceeded all expectations so far.  But don’t get too excited Cowboy Nation.  The wins have come against the weak sisters OTNAs, Bears and 49ers – who will be lucky to finish the season with 18 wins between them.  And but for a play or two, the Boys could easily be 1-3. And their rookies are playing out of their shoes –  Ezekiel Elliot leads the league in rushing and Dak Prescott has yet to throw a pick.  But it’s not December, so the carriage hasn’t turned back into a pumpkin, yet – and that makes this a nervous pick for old Uncle Red.  The difference here is the  Bengals getting back Tyler Eifert this week.  The combination of AJ Green, Eifert and LaFell is pretty daunting for any secondary especially when coupled with the versatile duo of Hill and Gio in the backfield.  Plus the Bengals defense gets back an element of thuggishness with the return of Vontaze Burfict.  If he doesn’t cost them the game with stupid penalties, he might be the difference maker this week.      Cincinnati 27 Dallas 21.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Packers over Giants.  Red’s pick of the Giants is starting to look suspect.  The loss in Week 3 to the OTNAs before two tough road games against the NFC North was likely the start of a 3 game losing streak.  Packers are lucky to be 2-1 having failed to dominate anyone yet mostly because of erratic second half play.  A Rodg has thrown 7 TDs with no interceptions in the first half of games and 0 TDs with 1 INT after halftime so far.  This one will be tight and could go either way. Green Bay 24 New Jersey 23.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – Colts over Bears. This awful anal assault features two teams coming in at a deserved 1-3.  The Bears have the advantage of a 1 game winning streak.  The Colts have the advantage of facing Brian Hoyer – who had his one good game for the season last week.  Sorry Brian, that’s all you get.  Sorry fans, they still televise every game including the Shit Bowl. Red might watch this one out of morbid curiosity at how bad the Colts really might be this season.  But he will be careful to lock up the liquor cabinet lest he drink himself into a stupor by quarter four. Indianapolis 29 Chicago 21.

Congratulations Mr. Mercilus

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The appropriately named Whitney Mercilus was named AFC Defensive Player of the Week.  Mercilus, the Texans OLB, was indeed merciless against the Bears on Sunday. Mercilus recorded four tackles,  two sacks, two quarterback hits, one tackle for loss and one forced fumble in Houston’s 23-14 season-opening victory.

Mercilus is an interesting guy to boot.  The University of Illinois graduate of Haitian descent has taken an interest in his adopted city and loves classical music.  Lots of NFL players have so-called foundations which are frequently just a way to pay for a party, but the Mercilus Foundation seems to be the real deal.  According to Mercilus, the focus of the MF “is helping underprivileged families raising kids with disabilities.  It’s what I studied in college – Community Health Disability and Rehabilitation Concentration – essentially helping disabled people with home accommodations, home living, work space, transportation and more.” Expect big things from Mercilus on and off the field.

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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Image result for kyle field

This week features a match up of the two oldest public universities in the State.  And you probably can’t guess at least one of them.  For the first time in 140 years, Texas A&M and Prairie View A&M will meet at Kyle Field on Saturday.  Although the schools are only about 45 miles apart, more than geography has separated the two institutions.  Texas’s first public universities were created by the same legislation, but separated by race for more than 100 years.

As far as football goes, the two programs are vastly different.  PV suffered through the longest losing streak in college football history losing 80 straight at one point.  TAMU has been a regular in the Top 25 for decades.  It’s the first time that the Aggies will play a Southwestern Athletic Conference team from one of the historically black colleges.  For PV, it’s the first time they will have played a team from one of the Power Five conferences.

Kudos to A&M System Chancellor John Sharp for making this game a priority.  Red hopes that PV takes away something more than the $450,000 boost for their athletic program.  Chancellor Sharp has similar sentiments.

“The money part is not the most important thing. It’s being associated with a great university. Playing in a game like that is something that enhances their reputation.”

Still it seems unlikely that the Panthers can keep pace with the Aggies, but it might be a more competitive game than expected as PV has turned its program around.  Red calls TAMU 42 PV 22.

On a final note, is there a university out there with a more romantic sounding name than Prairie View?  Only Bowling Green comes to mind.

 

Is Bevo XV Lame?

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Bevo XV debuted at the Notre Dame game on Saturday.  He is a leaner, smaller, shorter-horned version of a Bevo – at least compared to some of the recent Bevos shown below. Red is puzzled by the new look, but maybe safety concerns came into play. Or perhaps, new Bevo is in keeping with the Longhorns new fast-paced offense brought in by offensive coordinator Sterling Gilbert.   One thing his keepers will not have to worry about is the Aggies “sawing Varsity’s horns off – short.”  The horns are pretty darn short already.

Red’s NFL Preseason Picks

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Red’s 2016 NFL Predictions

Football season starts early in the Lone Star State. So early that Red has already been to not one but two high school games. And really, there is nothing quite as boring as your average high school football game with an average of 33 penalties, obnoxious parents, bad refs, inept play, mosquitos, surprisingly small crowds and a 7-0 final score.  The tedium of a high school game is rivaled only by a regular season NFL game with its endless TV timeouts, incredibly loud piped in bad 80’s music (at least at NRG), obnoxious beer-guzzling fans, sanitized atmosphere and overall complete lack of spectacle.  Such is the fan experience for the modern-day gladiation that is professional football.  Red can handle about 2 pro games a year – maybe 3 if his team makes the playoffs.

Other than that, Red is totally excited to bring you his pre-season predictions. Red’s record in this regard over the last decade or so is at least respectable. As usual, however, Red disclaims all responsibility for little juvenile delinquent Timmy stealing the grocery money and going down to his local bookie and putting it all on Red’s projected Superb Owl winner. Those foolish enough to wager on any professional sporting event that doesn’t involve equines running counter-clockwise around an oval track get exactly what they deserve.   So Danny, keep your grubby little felonious mitts out of Mom’s purse and leave this stuff to the pros who usually don’t do a whole lot better than Red.

2015 Season Recap

Red’s NFC division champions were the Eagles, Falcons, Seahawks and Panthers. Wild cards were the Rams and Vikings.  That’s 4 out of 6 in the playoffs.  Better than, “Meh!”

Red’s AFC division champions were the Patriots, Broncos, Colts and Bengals. Wild cards were the Chargers and Ravens.  That 3 out of 6 in the playoffs.  What can he say, Red blew it.

Red’s 7 out of 12 is unacceptable. He’ll run laps sometime in October.    Please not that Red did pick JJ Watt as Defensive Player of the Year. Big Whoop.

Red’s Annual Bitch.

 If you are a Cowboys fan, and may God have mercy on your soul if you are, thanks to the NFL scheduling gurus you need not worry about rushing home from church for the kickoff. This year is no exception.  Here is the National TV schedule for the team that went 4-12 last season.

Week 1       Giants Sunday Late Game

Week 3       Bears Sunday Night Game

Week 4       At 49ers Sunday Late Game

Week 5       Bengals Sunday Late Game

Week 6       At Packers Sunday Late Game

Week 8       Eagles Sunday Night Game

Week 10     At Stealers Sunday Late Game

Week 11     Redskins Thanksgiving

Week 12     At Vikings Thursday Night Game

Week 13     At Giants Sunday Night Game

Week 16     Lions Monday Night Game

Cowboys get 3 of the 16 Sunday Night games.  Plus 5 Sunday Late Games – only one of which (49ers) is time zone related. Plus a Monday Night and a Thursday Night appearance. And the traditional Thanksgiving day game

That is the standard minimum of 11 national TV appearances for a franchise that shat their collective pants last season. Only in corporate America does such incompetence get rewarded like this.

NFC East

Giants.  This division is more up for grabs than a deep ball from Peyton Manning.  Any team could win this thing.  But those darn statistics boys tell us that only one team can. It’s up to Uncle Red to figure that one out. The Cowboys will be starting a rookie quarterback and unproven rookie Ezekial Elliot at back.  It’s unclear what the OTNA’s are up to and the Eagles are still a mess.  Red is predicting that the NFC East will be this year’s PEFAPFD (that’s pathetic excuse for a professional football division for those who haven’t been paying attention).   Now that the Tom “Coach of the Walking Dead’ Coughlin is gone, look for new life in Northern Jersey.  Ben “No Relation to Bob” McAdoo takes over after serving as offensive coordinator.  The Giants probably had more money to spend than any other team in the off season and spend like drunken sailors they did. Additions of Janoris Jenkins and Eli Apple to join Dominique Rogers-Cromartie may give the Giants the best trio at corner in the league.  Name a better group.  Hmm, thought so.  And they won’t be short-handed with Jason Pierre Paul back for the entire season (no pun intended).  As seems to happen almost every other year now, a team with a losing record will advance to the playoffs.  New Jersey racks up a 5 game losing streak in the latter part of the season but still slides in under the door at 7-9 while the rest of the division goes home to kick the dog.

NFC South:

Panthers. Red usually picks the Falcons and we see how that usually works out. In a swift break from tradition, Red is going with the NFC Champion Panthers to repeat as division winners in 2015.  The Panthers were undoubtedly the best team in the NFL last season until the clock struck midnight, the offensive line turned back into a bunch of rats, the football became a slippery pumpkin and Cam Newton lost one of his glass cleats on the way out of the locker room only to have Von Miller stomp on it like the groom at a Jewish wedding. That’s how the Cinderella story usually ends.   This season Cam solidifies his spot as one of the two or three best all round quarterbacks.  And he has some more help with Kelvin Benjamin back.  The loss of Josh Norman will be painful, but Luke Kuechly anchors a more than good enough defense. It’s a bit of a comedown for Carolina to a 12-4 season but only a bit of a comedown as shall be seen.

NFC West: 

Cardinals.  Call Red a frontrunner if you must – it won’t hurt his feelings. Red didn’t believe in the Cardinals last year and he isn’t exactly drinking the Kool-Aid now.  The Cards may be just a Carson Palmer pulled groin away from a 7-9 season.  David Johnson is the hot topic now.  Look for a bit of a sophomore slump, but there 10-6 for Arizona probably should do it in the NFC West.

NFC North:

Vikings. Remember when NFL teams used to play at places with mysterious names like the Polo Grounds or Arrowhead Stadium or Candlestick Park or the Los Angeles Coliseum or the Cotton Bowl? Red is showing his age I suppose. The Vikings who once played at Metropolitan Stadium and then the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome are now leaving the not so cozy confines of the TCF Bank Stadium at the University of Minnesota for new digs.  Red would research the record for established teams breaking in new stadiums if he were that kind of guy.  Rest assured, he isn’t.  Exactly how does one get excited about a Sunday afternoon game at good old U.S. Bank Stadium.  Does that come with free checking and a carry-all?  Red is high on the real stuff and Teddy Bridgewater.  Touchdown Teddy will have a true break out season in 2016 and No. 1 pick Laquon Treadwell will provide a tempting target that was missing most of last season.  The real mystery man in the passing game may be Moritz Bohringer who was drafted in the 5th round out of the Schwabisch Hall Unicorns of the German Football League. He’s a long shot to make the team but he has size and speed enough if he can pick up the game.   Minnesota makes it look easy this season with a 13-3 record to win the division.

Update: Oops! Teddy’s gone for the season and Sam “Where’s My Head” Bradford is at the helm.  Red is going to cowboy up and ride the Vikings anyway because it’s too much trouble to rewrite this stuff.

 NFC Wildcards:

Buccaneers. Last season’s rookie of the year Jameis Winston has Red believing. Red also still believes in Santa Claus and alien abductions.  The running back combo of Doug Martin and Charles Sims could be the most potent in the NFC – after all they combined for 2700 yards of total offense last season. All that wasn’t good enough to avoid a four game losing streak that ended in Head Coach Lovie Smith and the entire defensive staff getting shit-canned.  Out with the old and in with the old as the Bucs promoted offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter (who has as close to a good porn star name as you are ever going to see on an NFL coaching staff unless Dick Butkiss comes back) to head coach.  JW will not have to learn a news system and the Bucs offense was certainly good enough to have a winning season last year.  On the other side, they brought in also shit-canned former Falcons head coach Mike Smith to run the defense.  It seems that defensive guys who get head coaching spots and fail almost always come back and do pretty damn well as defensive coordinators again. See, e.g., Dom Capers, Jack Del Rio and Wade Phillips.  Tampa Bay sneaks in at 9-7.

Packers. Really by default. Of course they are probably going to win the North with Bridgewater gone.  Of course Aaron Rodgers is going to be good.  Of course, someone at Lambeau Field will suffer frostbite in Week 17.  Of course, they will sell out every game.  Of course, Red will stop picking the Packers someday. Of course, today is not the day.  Green Bay does it again at 10-6.

AFC East

Patriots. This is typically where every year Red writes that it is cowardly and spineless to pick the Patriots year after year and then he goes and does just that. Each year Red thinks that this cannot last forever, that Tom Brady is finally going to look tired and old, that Belichick’s deal with Satan is up, and that the Pats will finally see the Jets or the Bills or the Dolphins gaining on them and not be able to finish. And each year Red is wrong in his mind but right on the pick.  New England whips the East yet again and goes 12-4.

AFC West

Raiders.  Really not excited about picking any team in this division.  Red likes Lativius and Lil’ brother Carr while continue to maintain that David Carr still sucks!  But maybe just maybe, this is the season after which the wretched and emaciated ghost of Al Davis can finally rest in peace with another division championship.  Ah, who is Red kidding? Dead Al will walk the corridors of NFL stadiums for all eternity searching for another championship for the Silver and Black.  Oakland surprises everyone with an outstanding 12-4 record.

AFC South:

Jaguars. Red likes to go out on a limb in this division. Red views this as possibly the most competitive division in the NFL in 2016.  Every team has a chance and every team has a big question mark.  The Texans have a revamped offense at the skill positions and a solid defense (if Clowney and Watt are healthy), but the offensive line is a complete disaster.  The Colts have question marks everywhere, but have the only truly experienced quarterback in the division.  The Titans are coming on strong, but is Mariota the franchise QB?  Red predicts you will have one team at 8-8 and three teams at 9-7 and have to go deep into the tie-breakers to pick a division winner.  Jacksonville wins with best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and allowed (Tiebreaker No. 7).  How’s that for exactitude.

AFC North

Bengals. Red distant cousin Andy “Red Rifle” Dalton can’t seem to catch a break. He was having a season that could have put him reach of an MVP award when he broke his thumb in Week 14.  Even so, they almost won a playoff game against the Stealers with A.J. McCarron under/behind center.    So it’s pretty much make or break time for this current iteration of the Bengals.  They have the weapons on offense with the Jeremy and Gio show.  Bengal have lost 8 straight playoff dating back to 1991 and have lost 5 straight in the last in the last 5 seasons – the only team in NFL history with such a record of playoff futility. Once again, Red is again picking a team that hasn’t won a playoff game in 25 years. Cincinnati 11-5.

AFC Wildcards

Jets. Meet the Jets, Greet the Jets, Step Right up and Beat the Jets.  But not too often. New Jersey 10-6.

Broncos.  The defending champion sometimes has a rough road to even returning to the playoffs. The Broncos may have it even tougher with new quarterback Trevor “the Ape Man” Siemian beating out tired old Marc Sanchez for the starting job. Gibbon his lack of experience, you might think Red is a fool to pick the Broncos.  But in Siemian, Red can siamang who knows how to use the offensive weapons he has. With an inexperienced starter, Kubiak won’t monkey around with trick plays.  Instead, he’ll find a way to macaque the defenses straight on. But do look for some langur passes to stretch the field.  And the Broncos defense is strong, so awesome that it might seem surrillis at times – and but rest assured it’s very real.  I could see the Chiefs getting this last spot but I lemur to Denver.  They are bonobo at least 10-6 and get into the mix.  The orangutan and blue is headed back to the playoffs and Broncos fans can gorilla crazy in January.  They won’t be the chimps, but it will be a good season.

Awards

NFL MVP – Andy Dalton – As noted, he might have won last year but for the untimely broken thumb.

Defensive Player of the Year – Khalil Mack – He would have won last year but for the force of nature that is JJ Watt

Offensive ROY – Will Fuller must learn that those things he has called hands are designed to catch a football. If he does that, he’s ROY.

Defensive ROY – Myles Jack – He’s got to stay on the field, but if he does he could put up some numbers that will get attention.

Comeback Player of the Year –  Jordy Nelson will be a fantasy favorite in 2016.

Coach of the Year – Gus Bradley – All he has to do is win.

Playoffs

NFC Championship Game – Panthers over Cardinals

AFC Championship Game – Bengals over Jaguars

Superb Owl – Panthers rout Bengals and claim the first Lombardi Trophy for one of the post-modern era expansion teams.

 

Red’s 2015 NFL “Dead Man of the Year” Award

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Before we get to Red’s annual NFL Predictions, there is the presentation of the 2015 NFL Dead Man of the Year Award

For those not in the know, the award is given annually to the player who went from a meaningful contribution to his team in the previous season to utter worthlessness. In other words, the player who contributed about as much as a “Dead Man.”

There really wasn’t much serious competition in 2015.   Justin Forsett comes to mind – but who really thinks about JF other than those – who like Red who were foolish enough to spend loads of dough on him in fantasy football.  And injury alone will not get you a coveted DMOY award. Matthew Stafford was certainly comatose if not dead for most of 2015 and was the major factor in the Lions return to irrelevancy. Chris Johnson was playing behind what some thought was the second or third best offensive line in football and still managed to rack up all of 840 yards and 3 TDs (fortunately for CJ he was dead in 2014 and thus ineligible).  CJ Anderson was on life support for most of the season, but was released from intensive care to contribute in some fashion to the Broncos remarkable playoff run.

In Red’s humble opinion – the only one that counts here – it was a slam dunk over the goal post for the one player who got more press for his utter personal worthlessness than for his demonstrated on-the-field worthlessness. That would be none other than Johnny Manziel aka Johnny Football aka Jonathan F. Football.   JFF had the perfect trifecta of sucking at football, life and as a legal client.  Let’s roll some of the 2015 highlights.

In October, Manziel was pulled over by a policeman after fighting in his car with his soon to be ex-girlfriend. Although he was not arrested, the supposedly sober JF admitted to drinking booze earlier that afternoon. Right!

On November 24, a week after Manziel was announced as the Browns’ starter for the remainder of the season, coach Mike Pettine demoted Manziel to third string after a video of him partying surfaced on the internet. And surprise, surprise, surprise, it was later discovered that Manziel had lied about the video.

On January 2, 2016, the night before the Browns final game, Manziel was spotted partying at Las Vegas’ Planet Hollywood casino. Manziel was scratched from the final game because of a concussion. But as word of his appearance at the casino spread across social media, he posted a photo on Instagram of himself and his dog at home. Manziel then failed to report for his concussion protocol.  This led to reports that the Browns are “so done with Manziel” (true) and that he “wants to go to Dallas (Cowboys)” (oh, how Red wishes that were also true).

Red salutes Johnny Manziel as the winner of Red’s 2015 NFL Dead Man of the Year.   Johnny, you earned it the old-fashioned way – You Sucked.