Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Today in Texas History

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From the Annals of Higher Learning –  In 1876, Gov. Richard Coke  dedicated the  Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas now known as Texas A&M University.  It was the state’s first public college.   TAMU’s origins trace back to the Morrill Act of 1862.  This act provided for donation of public land to the states for the purpose of funding higher education whose “leading object shall be, without excluding other scientific and classical studies, and including military tactics, to teach such branches of learning as are related to agriculture and mechanic arts.”  In November 1866, Texas agreed to create a college under the terms of the Morrill Act.  Actual formation did not occur until the establishment of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas by the Texas state legislature on April 17, 1871. A commission created to locate the institution accepted the offer of 2,416 acres of land from the citizens of Brazos County in 1871. Admission was limited to white males who, as required by the Morrill Act, were required to participate in military training.

Charlie Pallilo Fired

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The best sports talk radio host in Texas was fired by feckless KBME AM 790 on Monday.  Charlie Pallilo was the rare sports talk radio host who actually knew something (actually a lot) about sports and devoted the vast majority of his STR show to actually talking about sports.  CP was dedicated to his craft and drew a loyal following of actual sports fans to his afternoon Drive Time show.  In contrast, most of the so-called STR crowd talks about anything but sports and when they do, their lack of understanding and dearth of knowledge of sports history is all too apparent.  CP apparently made the mistake of believing that a sports talk radio show was supposed to be about sports instead of the blather that emanates from the vapid brains of most of the other (read anyone on AM 610 in Houston or 1300 in Austin) STR hosts.  Pallilo also actually took calls from listeners, generally treated them with respect and could play off of almost anyone on any topic.  The actual call-in show is apparently a dying breed and may have signaled his demise.  Ratings are all that matters and CP’s had dipped over the past year leading to his hurried exit from the Houston radio scene.  Maybe he can go to a city where people actually know something about sports and will appreciate his talents.  Houston is a loser today.

And who did the brilliant minds at KBME choose to replace CP.  Complete and total ass-clown Josh Innes who know absolutely nothing about sports.  Red will be deleting AM 790 from his I Heart Radio playlist.

Red – On Language – With Apologies to William Safire

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Turning the corner at the local grocery store on Saturday night, Red passed a woman who was the mother of one of Lil’ Red’s former classmates.  The youngsters had several play dates together.  Invariably no matter what the plan, this other mother was either late, forgot or was unable to chaperone even though previously arranged.

She did not recognize Red – an unfortunately common occurrence that is sometimes not without its benefits.  Back home Red mentioned the chance encounter to Mrs. Red referring to the woman as a “hot mess.”  Mrs. R. disagreed claiming that she was actually a “train wreck” – which got Red to wondering at the exact difference and whether any other similar terms should be analyzed.

The general consensus is that a “hot mess” refers to person or thing that is spectacularly unsuccessful or disordered, especially one that is a source of peculiar fascination.  Most current “dictionaries” include a indication of the person otherwise remaining attractive or alluring despite outward appearances to the contrary.  There is also likely an implied element of self-destructive behavior contributing to the warmth of the messiness.  A subsidiary meaning concerns a situation or incident that is extraordinarily bad.  These definitions may or may not be far afield from the original meaning of a hot meal shared by a group of soldiers depending on what was being served and under what conditions.

All of this seemed to apply well to the woman in question who was undeniably attractive but to all appearances led a disorganized and chaotic life.

“Train wreck” refers to  a person who has experienced a personal failure or disaster, or a  disastrous situation, occurrence, or process.  One source defines it as “a total fucking disaster.” Another goes with “total failure.” The derivation is obvious as is the transference of the term to modern slang usage. 

Score one for Red here as there were no obvious indications that the “hot mess” woman had experienced a train wreck.

 

Today in Texas History – October 3

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From the Annals of the Pests –   In 1984, Charles W. DeRyee, a druggist in Corpus Christi, mentioned in a letter that the boll weevil was in Texas. This was the first known reference to the pest being in Texas.  The tiny insect was one of the most devastating pests ever to effect American agriculture.  By the 1920’s, the BW was present in ever cotton producing region of the state.  Eradication programs have been somewhat successful, but the BW remains a problem to this day.

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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Red travels to the friendly confines of Shelton Stadium in Abilene as the Hardin-Simmons Cowboys take on the Lobos of Sul Ross State in their American Southwest Conference opener. This one of HSU’s longest if not particularly competitive rivalries. The Cowboys lead the all-time series 33-3 and won 41-13 last year in Alpine. The Lobos come into the game 1-2 on the year and HSU is 3-0 having pretty much smoked the lesser competition they have faced.  The Cowboys have earned their No. 10 ranking so far.

The Cowboys are coming off a 61-24 ass-whomping of Southwest Assemblies of God last week featuring 714 yards of total offense that could have been more if not for untimely penalties bringing back two long touchdown throws.  The rout helped HSU sweep the American Southwest Conference player of the week awards with Reese Childress winning the offensive award, Alex Bell the special teams and Cory Ward the defensive award.  The Lobos just don’t have the firepower to keep up with a team this good.  HSU 65 SRSU 21.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 4

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Last week Red was 1-5, dragging season totals down to 5-13. Help me Jesus, it’s going to be a long season for old Uncle Red as he appears to be violating the first rule of holes – all the more complicated by the very tough line up of games this week.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Broncos over Buccaneers. The less said about last week the better.  And the less said about this week – even better.  It is hard to see a real sure fire bet this week, but Red created this monster and has to ride it until the end of the season.  Broncos will have to overcome double time zone, inverse altitudinal and humidity index hexes to win this one.  They seem up to the challenge so far.  Meanwhile, things on the west coast of the Sunshine State are not going as well as expected.  Jameis, the would be felon, is racking up the stats but mostly in garbage time.  The defense seems incapable of stopping anyone.  In the Mile High City, Coach K seems to have his quarterback mojo back and is doing amazing things with TS. Take Denver giving up 3 if you are incorrigible, but if you really must put some green down on this one, go with the over at 44. Denver 33 Tampa Bay 20.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Jets over Seahawks. Red goes with the full triple time zone, inverse hipster hex here. And the fact that Ryan Fitzpatrick usually follows a god-awful performance with a competent one. It’s a tough challenge this week going against the supposed top-ranked Seahawk defense, but RF has a decent running game to fall back on.  Meanwhile the Seahawk offense has been overly reliant on Christine Michael – that is a branch that is going to snap at some point.  Red thinks it happens this week as Jets defense stifles the running game and forces Wilson to heave it up.  New Jersey 24 Seattle 17.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Cowboys over 49ers. Well this used to be a rivalry anyway.  Now it may be just another game.  Cowboys look to be on a roll but wait until December.  The Niners are not as bad as they look – they are actually far worse.  Two low mediocre defenses will at least keep this one exciting on some level. Arlington 32 Santa Clara 30.

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Texans over Titans.  Speaking of last week might just get your ass kicked in the Texans locker room right now.  Texans were humiliated in Foxboro, but have had 10 days to regroup for their first division outing.  All well and good until the JJ Watt news broke yesterday.   With the glamour seeking superstar probably out for the season, the Texans may actually have better focus and realize that they can’t just wait around for Watt to make a game-winning play.  The big problem is where it has been for several seasons.  They have a second string quarterback playing behind a makeshift offensive line.  Nothing will fix that, but it should be good enough to win over the weak sisters of the league like the Titans. Houston 24 Tennessee 11.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Vikings over Giants.  Red’s pick of the Vikings is starting to look brilliant.  At least something is going right.  Red’s pick of the Giants is okay so far, but they likely lose division lead to the Cowboys this week.  That’s okay because the Cowboys always suck in December. Minnesota 26 New Jersey 23.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – OTNAs over Browns. The Browns have to win at least one game this season.  This one won’t be it. Do something you’ve been putting off – like having open heart surgery – rather than waste 3 hours of your precious Sunday afternoon watching this beastly bowel battle.  Landover, Md 17 Cleveland 0.

Today in Texas History – September 29

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From the Annals of Bravery – In 1864, Sgt. Milton Holland earned the Medal of Honor for action at Chaffin’s Farm and New Market Heights, Virginia.  Holland was born into slavery probably in Austin in 1844.  He was the slave and likely the son of Bird Holland who would later become Texas Secretary of State.  He was freed by Holland in the 1850’s and sent to the Albany Enterprise Academy in Ohio.  He enlisted in the United States Army in 1863 at the age of 19.  He joined the Fifth United States Colored Troops under the command of Gen. Benjamin Butler.   He quickly rose to the rank of regimental sergeant major.  During the engagements at Chaffin’s Farm and New Market Heights all of the white officers were killed or wounded.  Holland assumed command and led his regiment in action as it routed the Confederates.  He was wounded in the battle and for his actions received the Medal of Honor on April 6, 1865.  His commendation contained the following quote regarding his action after the regiment suffered heavy losses in the battle:

 “But, with a courage that knew no bounds, the men stood like granite figures. They routed the enemy and captured the breastworks. The courage displayed by young Holland’s regiment on this occasion called for the highest praise from Gen. Grant, who personally rode over the battlefield in company with Generals Butler and Draper.”

Butler promoted Holland to Captain for his service, but the War Department refused the commission because of his race.  After mustering out of the army on September 20, 1865, Holland lived in Washington, D.C., where he worked in the Auditor Office of the United States government.  He later became chief of collections for the Sixth District. He also established the Alpha Insurance Company, one of the first African-American-owned insurance companies. He died in 1910, at his farm near Silver Springs, Maryland, and was buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Photo from the National Park Service.

Donald Trump’s Russian Pals Meet with Texas Separatists

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Self-proclaimed “Foreign Minister” of the Texas Nationalist Movement, Nate Smith, address the so-called Dialogue of Nations held in Moscow this  week.  Smith was loudly cheered when he promised that one day an independent Texas “will formally exchange ambassadors with your free and independent countries.”  He was addressing other separatist enthusiasts from California, Northern Ireland, Puerto Rico and elsewhere.

If you don’t think these guys are serious, you had better think again.  Unless you want Rick Perry declared Emperor for Life of a new “Republic” of Texas, this movement bears watching with a very close eye.  Red more or less likes being a U.S. citizen and someone will have to pry his U.S. Passport from his cold dead fingers.

For more scoop on the fabulous Dialogue of Wannabe Nations in Moscow check out the story in the LA Times.

Today in Texas History – September 28

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From the Annals of the Panhandle –    In 1874 Col. Ranald Mackenzie and the Fourth U.S. Cavalry attempted a surprise attack on Comanche, Cheyenne and Kiowa encampments in Palo Duro Canyon.   Although known as the Battle of Palo Duro Canyon, the attack involved little loss of life as it was primarily a raid to seized Indian horses and property.  Assisted by Tonkawa scouts, the cavalry wanted to surprise the Indians who were settling into their winter camps.   However, the Indians were warned by the Comanche leader Red Warbonnet, who discovered the soldiers and fired a warning shot before being killed by the Tonkawas.  Cheyenne chief Iron Shirt, Comanche leader Poor Buffalo, and the Kiowa chief were left in charge.  The camps were located in various parts of the vast canyon which did not allow the Indians to mount a united defense.  As a result most of the Indians retreated leaving behind over 1400 horses and most of their winter stores.  Only three Comanche were killed as was one soldier.  The BOPDC was the last major event in the Red River Wars and resulted in the confinement of southern Plains Indians in reservations in Indian Territory.

Red Goes to the Movies

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Or more accurately, Red sits on his behind and watches a classic at home.  This time it was the film adaptation of Raymond Chandler’s thriller Murder My Sweet.  Red had low hopes for this one – mostly because it starred lightweight Dick Powell as hard-boiled LA private detective Phillip Marlowe.  Powell was best known as an affable romantic lead in frivolous fare such as Gold Diggers of [insert year here], Stage Struck and Footlight Parade.  Legendary director Edward Dmytryk was allegedly furious at having the lightly regarded Powell cast as Marlowe, but soon came to realize that not only was Powell up to the task – he was a superb choice as the pithy street-wise PI.  The movie was helped by the fact that Chandler was the co-screenwriter and the action and dialogue follows the novel almost exactly.

Red believes that this is the finest film adaptation of one of the Marlowe novels ever made.  Powell is incredible and his stinging repartee as Marlowe is impeccably delivered.  And a fine supporting cast of Anne Shirley as the tempestuous female lead, Otto Kruger playing his usual elegant but evil criminal mastermind (ala his role in Hitchcock’s Saboteur) and long-time character actor heavyweight Mike Mazurki in the role of his career as Moose make this one sizzle with understated excitement.  Shot in film noir style, there doesn’t appear to be a daylight shot in the entire movie.  Red gives this one 5 stars.