Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 6

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Red brings you his weekly six-pack of NFL Picks for the bargain basement price of clicking onto this site.  What a deal!

Unlike Donald Trump, Red is trending in the right direction. Last week he racked up a second consecutive 5-1 record with the big upset prediction of the Falcons beating the red hot Broncos. Not in the plus column yet at 15-15 after five weeks, but this week for sure, maybe.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Eagles over OTNAs. An unusual pick headlines the weekly six-pack.  The line is all over the place on this one.  Some bookies have the Eagles getting 1.5 and others having them giving up from 2.5 to 3.  If you can get someone foolish enough to give you the Eagles and 1.5 take it and run.  Just don’t run too far because you might owe the Man some money.  Sure Bet?  Well, it’s a bet anyway.  Red likes the under at 45 and curiously likes the over at 44.  Aw, Uncle Red’s just messing with your math-challenged little head.  Take the over at 44 and pray for OT.  Philadelphia 26 Landover, MD 20.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Bengals at Patriots. Red picked this format and has to live with it.  So every dang week Red has to choose an underdog. And every doggone week it seems to get harder and harder.  And every dadgum week, it seems like he has no real reason to believe that a team like, say the Bengals (who got ass-whomped by the Cowboys last week) could stroll out of Foxboro with a victory over a team like the Pats (who merely beat the Browns and please note for the record, that under the technical definition of “ass whomp” it is impossible to “ass whomp” the Browns – you just can’t do it). But this galldurned week Red is going with it.   Cincinnati 24 New England 22.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Raiders over Chiefs. This week we get a real rivalry –  a real bitter rivalry in fact.  The Chiefs lead the series 60-52-2 having played the Raiders every season since the first meeting at Kezar Stadium in 1960.  Of course, they have racked up a number of wins since the Raiders have been sucking for an extended period of time. The Raiders have only won once in the last 3 seasons (Thanksgiving in 2014), but this is not your father’s Raiders team.  They are your grandfather’s Raiders team.  The emaciated ghost of Al Davis rides astride pale horse on the Raiders’s sideline this week. Chiefs fans beware. Oakland 33 Kansas City 30.

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Packers over Cowboys.  The Cowboys spanked the Bengals last week leading 28-0 before coasting to a 28-14 win.  Dak P. continues to impress and Red’s Aunt Ida could probably run for 50 yards a game behind that offensive line.  Clearly the Cowboys offense is putting the longstanding Red Rule (score 13 points and beat the Cowboys) in jeopardy.  Packers are coming off a workmanlike win over Los Gigantes, but are still plagued by the inability to get any production out of the TE position.  Packers defense will have to win this one with at least 3 sacks and 2 turnovers.  If the Cowboys win this one, Red will eat his hat. Fortunately for Red, he typically sports a chapeau constructed from an assortment of Belgian waffles, cheese Danish and croissants. Green Bay 24 Arlington 17.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Texans over Colts.  Texans clearly suck as do the Colts, but somebody has to win this pathetic excuse for a professional football division and the winner of this one will have a leg up on a first round exit from the playoffs. Why pick the Texans?  They are typically only embarrassed and outclassed by real football teams – and usually that happens on the road.  Sunday night in Houston, they face a pretender at home.  Fortunately for Bill-O the Clown, this is a pretender his team can probably handle. Ock Brosweiler desperately needs a decent game or the feckless faithful on Fannin Street will be calling for his head by halftime. BO manages to save his job for now, but don’t get carried away Texans fans – this Colts team is a mere shadow of its former self. Houston 21 Indianapolis 13.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – Panthers over Saints. Every once in a very long while, the Shit Bowl features teams that aren’t frankly all that shitty.  In other words, you could actually watch this game without having to first put away your guns, knives and sharp objects. The Panthers, for example, are one hard luck team this season who could easily be a respectable 3-2 (having lost two games by a total of 4 points) and fighting for the division lead.  Even the Saints aren’t terrible having lost two games by a total of 4 points. Are you sensing a trend here? But nonetheless, these two not-so-venerable franchises come into this week’s Shit Bowl with a combined 2-7 record.  But either of these teams could rip off 4 wins in a row and get back into the mix in the NFC South as the Falcons are destined to cool off a bit.  Which makes this one a must win game for both teams and a total crapshoot for someone like Red.  Next week, he goes back to the Browns who probably take up permanent residence in the weekly execrable excrement exhibition for the remainder of the season. Carolina 45 New Orleans 27.

Today in Texas History – October 11

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From the Annals of Suicide –  In 1878, Kiowa chief Satanta committed suicide by jumping from his prison cell in Huntsville.  Satanta was probably close to 60 at the time.  He had been a rising leader since the Medicine Lodge Treaty council in October 1867, where he came to be known as the “Orator of the Plains.”  In 1871 Satanta and his fellow chiefs Satank and Big Tree were arrested for their part in the Warren Wagon Train raid. Satank was killed while trying to escape. Satanta and Big Tree were tried for murder at Jacksboro which was the first time Native American chiefs were tried in a civil court. They were convicted and sentenced to hang, but Texas governor E. J. Davis commuted the sentences to life imprisonment. Satanta was quickly paroled in 1873, but was re-arrested for his role in the attack on Lyman’s Wagon Train in Palo Duro canyon and in the second battle of Adobe Walls.  His second incarceration was too much for the Kiowa Chief who took his life rather than spend his remaining days in prison.

Today in Texas History – October 10

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From the Annals of College Football –   In 2011, Texas Christian University accepted an invitation to join the Big 12 Conference beginning on July 1, 2012.  TCU’s Rose Bowl win over Wisconsin on January 1, 2011 had re-established TCU as a worthy program after having been snubbed by the nascent Big 12 following the breakup of the Southwest Conference in 1996.  The Frogs were destined to wander among the walking dead of college football for 15 years going from the Western Athletic Conference to Conference USA to the Mountain West.  Along the way, the Horned Frogs picked up 7 c0nference championships (2 WAC, 1 C-USA and 4 MWC) to go with their 9 SWC championships.  It didn’t take the Frogs long to return to their winning ways among the bigger dogs – winning the B1g-12 in 2014 and capping it off with a 41-3 thumping of Ole Miss in the Peach Bowl.  Since rejoining the Big 12, TCU has played in 3 bowl games only losing a 1 point squeaker to Michigan State in 2012.

Red Decides to Help the Grand Old Party

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In the interest of continuing to have at least a viable two way contest for the highest office in the land, Red had decided that the GOP needs some help to remain competitive in presidential politics.  Red firmly believes that voter in the USA need to hear voices from all sides and make an informed choice. So listen up conservative America because Red has lived with you all dang near all his life and even once saw Dick Nixon play the piano. The best advice Red can give the Republicans is pretty simple.

             Stop nominating Assholes!

Best of luck with that strategy in the future.

Today in Texas History – October 7

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From the Annals of the Red River – In 1759, Spanish soldiers under the command of Diego Ortiz Parilla fought a losing battle near a fortified Taovaya village on the Red River.  Ortiz Parilla was leading an expedition to punish the Indians responsible for the embarrassing destruction of Santa Cruz de San Sabá Mission in March 1759.  The Spaniards faced a combined force of  Comanches, Yaceales, and Tawakonis who outsmarted the Spaniard.  Ortiz Parilla did not know exactly how close he was to Indian village.  When his forces were  charged from woods by sixty or seventy warriors who quickly withdrew, he ordered a pursuit not realizing that the purpose of the attack was to lead the Spaniards into a well-laid trap. Pursuing their attackers, the troop found itself sinking in a sandbank at the edge of the Red River, before the Indian fortifications. As darkness fell, Ortiz Parilla led an orderly withdrawal from his difficult position.  However, he was forced to leave a pair of cannons behind  on the river sandbank where the Spaniards had found themselves pinned down.  And more critically lost nineteen men killed, fourteen wounded, and nineteen by desertion.  The humiliating defeat led to his replacement as commandant of San Luis de las Amarillas Presidio by Felipe de Rábago y Terán.  The Spaniards held onto the fort near present-day San Saba for another decade but failed to make any significant inroads into north central Texas for almost 50 years.

Painting of the destruction of the San Saba Mission.

Why Was Josh Innes Hired?

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The justifiable angst over the firing of Charlie Pallilo from his Drive Home slot on KBME AM 790 has also given rise to the question of exactly why was roundly disliked provocateur and obvious racist Josh Innes hired to replace him?  Innes’ departure from KILT was less than amicable and his short tenure at Philadelphia’s WIP was marked by ugly controversy over racist remarks and his general churlishness.  According to several sources,  was suspended earlier this year for calling a white Eagles’ player a “house negro.”  He was fired in August after racist mocking of fake racist caller on Mike Missanelli’s show on FM 97.5 – another Philadelphia sports talk station.   Innes is also known for his intemperance – having engaged in “feuds” with other sports talk radio morons including one incident that boiled over at an Eagles practice in 2015 – and his rudeness and mocking of callers.  Some have suggested that the racist incidents were merely the excuse used by management to get rid of Innes.  The suggestion is that he was  not liked by anyone at WIP and everyone was glad to see him go.  Add to that the fact that Innes was getting crushed by Missanelli – his  major competition in Philly.  Missanelli dominated Innes in audience share in the key men’s 25-54 demographic beating him by more than 3 points in recent ratings.   As one source put it, , “in some ways it will be a shame if he got fired for racial comments as opposed to the reality of sucking and getting bad ratings. Because now Innes will be able to play the martyr role.”

As for the rumor that fellow radio racist bloviator Michael Berry had input into bringing Innes back to Houston, it is just speculation for now.  But birds of feather as they say . . .

 

Today in Texas History – October 6

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From the Annals of Preparedness –    In 1961, President John F. Kennedy advised American families to build bomb shelters to protect them from atomic fallout in the event of a nuclear war with the Soviet Union.  Kennedy attempted to assuage fears by claiming that the U.S. civil defense program would ramp up to provide such protection for every American.  Kennedy’s warnings seemed correct when the Cuban Missile Crisis erupted over the USSR’s placement of nuclear missiles in Cuba and the prospect of “nuclear combat toe-to-toe with the Ruskies” seemed imminent.

Red remembers when the local Shopper’s World had a contest with the grand “prize” being a home bomb shelter.  The drawing was won by a friend’s father who had it installed in the backyard where it promptly filled up with water.  Red’s friend still has bitter memories of having to stand in knee deep water handing up buckets to try and drain the useless “shelter.”  He also remembers touring a new hospital in San Antonio with a Boy Scout group where there was an elaborate basement bomb shelter complete with showers for washing radiation off as you entered, cots, blankets and immense stocks of food, water and other supplies.  In reality, San Antonio would likely have been an immense field of fused glass and smoking rubble in the event of a nuclear war.  If ever there was a waste of money on a pretense of  caring about the populace – the bomb shelter craze was it.  As they told us at school, in the event of an attack, take cover under your desk, put your head between your knees – and kiss your ass goodbye!

Charlie Pallilo Fired (cont.)

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It’s radio silence (pun intended) so far from Charlie Pallilo on his abrupt dismissal from KBME and any plans for the future.  Red guesses that CP is too smart to stick his head out of the foxhole right now and is focused on taking the high road while looking for a new spot – or perhaps relaxing on the beach in Puerto Vallarta.  Contrast that with what happens when Josh Innes gets shit-canned in less than a year.

Red is gratified to see the support Charlie has among the knowledgeable sports fans (a discrete subset) who will miss his insight into all things sports.  Red will keep you posted on any CP sightings.

Today in Texas History – October 5

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From the Annals of the Benevolent – In 1889, Liberal Hall was destroyed by fire. The Waco location was the home of the Religious and Benevolent Association founded by James Shaw and promoted freethinking.  The association began to publish a monthly magazine called the Independent Pulpit in 1883. The publication served as a forum for many of the members’ freethinking views. It was edited by Shaw and had a world-wide circulation. The introduction of such an association was bitterly opposed by churchmen across Texas.  Although, the RBA planned to rebuild it never did and the suspicious fire effectively put an end to the group.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 5

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Don’t miss out on this week’s six-pack of NFL picks.

A big rally for Red last week going 5-1 and only missing out by picking the Jets over the seemingly faltering Seahawks. The ship is still listing but not taking on water quite as fast.  On the season Red is now 10-14.  Maybe Cousin Red needs a tough line up of games every week.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Patriots over Browns. Needs no explanation.  The line is hovering around 10 to 10.5 with an under/over of 46.5 to 47.  Red doesn’t like going that long, but this is the week.  Give up the points and take the under. New England 26 Cleveland 10.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Falcons over Broncos. Broncos are playing lights out, but so are the Falcons since Week 1 averaging 42 points over the last 3 games. Last week Matt Ryan entered the rarified air of 500 yards passing with over 300 of it to Julio Jones.  Mr. Ryan briefly flirted with breaking the longest standing individual game record around.  What’s that you ask?  Norm “the Dutchman” Van Brocklin’s single game record of 554 yards passing has stood since September 28, 1961 when he completed 27 of 41 passes and also threw for 5 touchdowns.  Maybe the years of promise are finally being realized in Georgia.  The Broncos defense hasn’t seen an act like this one yet.    Atlanta 41 Denver 35.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Raiders over Chargers. Not much to choose from in the rivalry column this week.  These two old AFL foes have played each other at least twice every year since 1960, but have only met once in the playoffs with the Chargers winning a shoot out after the 1980 season.  Red has been on the Raiders bandwagon for a while now and it seems to be paying off.  The Chargers have had the better of this series for almost 15 years, but the times they are a changing in California. Oakland 33 San Diego 17 .

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Bengals over Cowboys.  Der Bengals need this one.  They need a win on the road against a hot team and to avoid falling into a 2-3 hole in what is looking to be tough division (excluding the lowly Browns of course).  Meanwhile, Los Cowboys have exceeded all expectations so far.  But don’t get too excited Cowboy Nation.  The wins have come against the weak sisters OTNAs, Bears and 49ers – who will be lucky to finish the season with 18 wins between them.  And but for a play or two, the Boys could easily be 1-3. And their rookies are playing out of their shoes –  Ezekiel Elliot leads the league in rushing and Dak Prescott has yet to throw a pick.  But it’s not December, so the carriage hasn’t turned back into a pumpkin, yet – and that makes this a nervous pick for old Uncle Red.  The difference here is the  Bengals getting back Tyler Eifert this week.  The combination of AJ Green, Eifert and LaFell is pretty daunting for any secondary especially when coupled with the versatile duo of Hill and Gio in the backfield.  Plus the Bengals defense gets back an element of thuggishness with the return of Vontaze Burfict.  If he doesn’t cost them the game with stupid penalties, he might be the difference maker this week.      Cincinnati 27 Dallas 21.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Packers over Giants.  Red’s pick of the Giants is starting to look suspect.  The loss in Week 3 to the OTNAs before two tough road games against the NFC North was likely the start of a 3 game losing streak.  Packers are lucky to be 2-1 having failed to dominate anyone yet mostly because of erratic second half play.  A Rodg has thrown 7 TDs with no interceptions in the first half of games and 0 TDs with 1 INT after halftime so far.  This one will be tight and could go either way. Green Bay 24 New Jersey 23.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – Colts over Bears. This awful anal assault features two teams coming in at a deserved 1-3.  The Bears have the advantage of a 1 game winning streak.  The Colts have the advantage of facing Brian Hoyer – who had his one good game for the season last week.  Sorry Brian, that’s all you get.  Sorry fans, they still televise every game including the Shit Bowl. Red might watch this one out of morbid curiosity at how bad the Colts really might be this season.  But he will be careful to lock up the liquor cabinet lest he drink himself into a stupor by quarter four. Indianapolis 29 Chicago 21.