Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Today in Texas History – October 26

From the Annals of the State Fair –  In 1930, the first football game was played at the Cotton Bowl at the Fair Park in Dallas.  SMU beat Indiana 27-0 to record the first win in the newly constructed stadium.  The 46,000-seat stadium was on the site of the former 15,000 seat Fair Park Football Stadium.  For more than 75 years, the stadium was the site of its namesake Cotton Bowl Classic which pitted the Southwest Conference champion against another highly ranked team on New Year’s Day.  The Cotton Bowl was the site of several of the “mythical” national championship games including UT’s victory over Notre Dame to claim the title in 1969.  The stadium was renovated extensively in 1949 increasing seating to 75,504. The Cotton Bowl was home to the short-lived Dallas Texans of the NFL in 1952, the Dallas Texans (now the Kansas City Chiefs) of the AFL from 1960 to 1962, and the Dallas Cowboys from 1960 to 1970. The stadium was renovated again in 1994 in preparation for World Cup games.  The venerable stadium was renovated again in the last decade to further increase its capacity.  The Cotton Bowl still hosts the annual Texas-OU game and the Ticket City Bowl.

Why did this guy ever get to start an NFL game?

The Houston Chronicle reports that back up quarterback Ryan Malllet missed the team flight to Miami for today’s game.  Mallet has shown nothing to indicate that he has the mental capacity to lead a professional football team.  Red posits that the Texans would be at least 3-3 if Brian Hoyer had just been given the reins.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 7

“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.”

Mark Viduka

Just guessing that Mark didn’t score so well on the math portion of the SAT.

Red Rates Himself – Last week 4-2. For the season 27-9. Polite applause, thank you.

Red is going to have to be quick this week.

Your Losing Every Game Pick of the Week: Vikings over Lions. Sadly, we will not have an 0-16 team this season. Red believes that kind of purge is good for the collective soul of the league, kind of an exemplar of failure, a milepost of ineptitude, a glimpse into the bottomless abyss of failure. But the Lions were the last hope, so the best we can hope for now is 1-15, with maybe a 2-14 the most likely outcome. Vikings meanwhile are rounding towards mediocrity. Minnesota minus 2 is a good bet, if you having a serious gambling addiction and have to bet on a game that no one cares about. Minnesota 24 Detroit 17.

Your Big Loser Pick of the Week: Giants over Cowboys. Winner is at least in the passenger seat in the NFC East. Loser is getting drug behind the car over 2 miles of rough pavement. The Cowboys are rumored to actually have a professional quarterback ready to play. The Giants have a guy that has won 2 Superb Owls. You pick it. New Jersey 27 Arlington 19.

Your Winners Pick of the Week: Jets over Patriots. Yep, you are thinking – Red what the hell are you smoking now? Red’s high on the pure vapor coming off the Fitzpatrick express. Red thinks Fitz is having that career year and what better way to show it than to knock off the Champs in New England back home in front of some old Crimson men. Hey, you wanna toke? Red can’t feel his nose. At 48, take the over for a ride. New Jersey 42 New England 33.

You’re Math Major Pick of the Week: Falcons over Titans. Bet the over and the under, bet on the Falcons and the Titans, bet on the coin toss, bet on the number of holding penalties, bet on the number of missed field goals, bet on the punters, bet on anything that anyone will take a bet on, but just bet. Bet on Red not giving a rat’s ass about who wins this one.  Atlanta 17 Tennessee 3.

Your Why Bother Pick of the Week: Texans over Dolphins. Not often does the Shit Bowl feature two teams coming off wins, but Red has to shake things up every now and then. Hard rain predicted for Casa Red on Sunday and he might just go sit on the porch and get soaked rather than watch this turgid turd tussle. Houston 29 Miami 24 Pittsburgh 21.

Your Red is Out of Ideas Pick of the Week: Eagles over Panthers. Panthers do not deserve to be undefeated. ‘Nuff said. Take the Eagles and 3. Oh yeah, and this is your NFL Game of the Week. Philadelphia 38 Carolina 35.

“Texas” Means Crazy in Norway

Texas has entered the popular vernacular in Norway – but perhaps not in a good way.  Huff Post Weird News reports that Texas is considered so bonkers that it has come to be used as a term for  “crazy” among Norwegian hipsters.

Texas is so nuts it’s become synonymous with “crazy” in Norway, according to a Tumblr thread discussing use of the word first reported on by Texas Monthly.

 

The pub compiled multiple instances of Norwegian speakers using the word online, including a police chief describing a situation concerning reckless foreign truck drivers as, roughly translated, “absolutely Texas” and a story about a fisherman’s uncommon swordfish sighting being, also roughly translated, “totally Texas.”

Today in Texas History – October 23

From the Annals of the Loyal Unionists –  In 1863, the First Texas Cavalry left New Orleans as part of a campaign to occupy south Texas and interfere with trade between the Confederacy and Mexico.  The Rio Grande expedition landed on the south Texas coast on November 2 and occupied Brownsville four days later.  The First Texas Cavalry included 16 officers and 205 enlisted men, but grew quickly added more than 100 new soldiers within a month.  During this time the Second Texas Cavalry Regiment was formed at Brownsville. Both regiments left Texas in July 1864 for Louisiana. Two companies, however, of the First Texas Cavalry remained at Brownsville and did not rejoin their parent regiment until six months later.  The First Texas was part of a little known Texas effort to support the Union.   A total of 1,915 men from Texas served the Union.  The Texas Union soldiers were primarily of Mexican heritage, German Unionists from the Hill Country or first generation Irish immigrants – all of whom were opposed to slavery.

Chris Bell for Mayor

Red is endorsing Chris Bell for Mayor of Houston.  As this is Red’s first ever public endorsement, he does not make it lightly.  Chris has dedicated a good portion of his career to improving the lives of Texas citizens as a Houston City Council Member, a U.S. Congressman and an excellent attorney.  When elected, Chris will work for a more efficient and responsive government, equal rights for all, a cleaner environment, reductions in waste, increasing parks and greenspace, better public transportation and reducing congestion.  But above all, Chris is just a really bright, funny and engaging person who will be a tremendous representative for Houston throughout Texas, the U.S. and the World.  Please consider voting for Chris Bell for Mayor.

The Constitutional Amendments

As loyal readers know, Red is fairly passionate about exercising the right to vote and strongly believes that democracy is the best of the many bad options for selecting leaders.  But then we come to the Texas Constitution, which for vague and somewhat mysterious reasons has to be amended every year to deal with matters that seem – well, somehow less than worthy of constitutional consideration.  To make matters worse, these matters are put to the public based on ballot language that is frequently misleading and certainly uninformative at best.  The ballot language is typically written in such an innocuous manner that voters would authorize a constitutional amendment legalizing the white slave trade.  Red was going to walk you through the mess that are the 7 constitutional amendments up for vote this year, but his good friend Joe Kulhavy at the Texas Election Law Blog has beat him to the punch and done a much better job of it than Red could have managed.  Only Joe could make reading about these matters at least somewhat entertaining, so all Red will do is give you his up or down.

  • Prop. 1 – Throttles back property tax revenue for school districts by adding another $10,000 to the homestead exemption.
    • Red votes No.  Red would use the extra $200 or so to restock the liquor cabinet, but the schools need it more
  • Prop. 2 – Exempts a handful of surviving spouses of disabled vets from homestead taxes
    • Red votes Yes.  No real harm here as this effects a handful of folks.
  • Prop. 3 – Releases statewide elected officials from their historical requirement to reside in Austin, despite the fact that their jobs happen to be located in the capitol.
    • Red votes Yes.  Most of them don’t deserve to live in Austin anyway.
  • Prop. 4 – Would authorize professional sports team charitable foundations to conduct charitable raffles.
    • Red votes No. This just authorizes another way for largely bogus charities to fleece us.
  • Prop. 5 – Would adjust the population cap that prohibits all but the tiniest of counties from using county road crews to build and maintain private roads, so as to ensure that slightly-less tiny counties will be able to use county road crews to build and maintain private roads.
    • Red votes No. Red always thought a private road meant just that – it’s private.  Red can’t imagine a reason to expend  more public funds in this way.
  • Prop. 6 – Would specify that Texans have a fundamental constitutional right to hunt, kill and harvest wildlife and fish, including by “traditional means.”
    • Red votes No.  Totally unnecessary and likely to only result in absurd litigation.
  • Prop. 7 – Would redirect roughly 10% or more of the state’s annual tax revenue exclusively to transportation projects.
    • Red is torn up about this one.  Texas roads are falling apart, but the idea of requiring money to be spent on any particular area troubles him.  Red votes No.

Today in Texas History – October 22

F

rom the Annals of the Republic – In 1836, Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally elected President of the Republic of Texas.  Among the most pressing issues facing the new President were relations with the Native Americans who still dominated much of the claimed national territory. Houston’s years living with the Cherokees and actually becoming a Cherokee citizen gave him a different perspective than most.  During his first term, Houston held conferences with tribal leaders in an attempt to address past grievances and establish new trust. He appointed agents to deal with the tribes and to run government trading houses.  Houston attempted to limit further settlement by pulling back surveyors and military companies from the frontier.  He did recognize that Anglos needed some protection.  He created a force of 280 mounted riflemen to enforce the trade laws and deal fairly with both sides, removing white trespassers and arresting Indian raiders.  But there was to be no peace between whites and Indians. Many Texans refused to wait for Houston’s policy to work and demanded that the Indians be removed from Texas and violence inevitably resulted – instigated by both sides.  By the end of Houston’s term in 1838, a change in policy was inevitable.

Today in Texas History – October 21

From the Annals of Money –  In 1822, the first Texas bank was established by Governor José Félix Trespalacios. The Banco Nacional de Texas, or Texas National Bank, is reputed to be the first charted bank west of the Mississippi in what is now the United States.  The initial officers were members of local government and the bank was created primarily to provide funds to pay Mexican officials and soldiers.  The bank was short-lived but issued approximately 12,000 pesos in two installments on November 1 and December 1, 1822 to be backed by the specie due from the central government. The bank’s notes were declared legal tender for public and private debts, but trust in the currency was lacking. Citizens readily paid their taxes to the municipality in the notes, but many individuals had to be forced to accept the paper money.  After which the bank was suspended, most noteholders refused to accept Mexican paper currency in exchange and held out for payment in specie.  Finally, in 1830 the bank notes were finally exchanged in Saltillo for coin provided by the customhouses of Matamoros and Tampico.

Image of José Félix Trespalacios from http://www.snipview.com.

Vote!

Red encourages everyone to exercise their constitutional right to vote. You would think politicians of all stripes would prefer that more rather than fewer of our citizens participate in our democratic elections.  Sadly, that is not the case in our great state.  The now Tea Party dominated GOP in Texas has done everything it can for decades to attempt to suppress the vote by imposing more and more requirements, by using voter intimidation tactics such as posting signs about voter fraud only in minority dominating polling places, and mostly by gerrymandering as many districts as possible to make your vote increasingly meaningless.  All we have on the ballot right now are local elections and Constitutional amendments, but still  – DON’T LET THE BASTARDS WIN – get out and vote.  Early voting has already started.  There is no excuse.