Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Today in Texas History – February 9

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From the Annals of Warmongering –  In 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson sent a Marine Corps Hawk air defense missile battalion to Da Nang, South Vietnam.  The troops were deployed to provide protection for the key U.S. airbase there.  This was the first deployment of U.S. combat troops to South Vietnam.  The move provoked strong reactions to an apparent new level of involvement in the Vietnamese conflict.  Communist China and the Soviet Union threatened to intervene if the U.S. continued military support of the South Vietnamese regime.  The U.S. Embassy in Moscow was attacked by demonstrators (including Vietnamese and Chinese students) in a move orchestrated by the Kremlin.  Britain and Australia supported the U.S. action, but France called for negotiations.  But the escalation of U.S. involvement in what was essentially a civil war had begun and would not end until more than 58,000 U.S. servicemen and women had lost their lives in the futile struggle.

Today in Texas History – February 8

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From the Annals of Cowtown –  In 1887, Luke Short killed former Fort Worth town marshal, Timothy Isaiah “Longhair Jim” Courtright, in a gunfight.  This was likely one of the few gunfights that more or less  lived up to the Hollywood version of an actual face-to-face shootout witnessed by others.  Luke Short was a notorious figure of the old west having been a friend of Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson and others and involved in deadly gunfights in Leadville, Colorado and Tombstone, Arizona. He was also a part owner of the legendary Long Branch  Saloon in Dodge City, Kansas.  His travels ultimately took him to Fort Worth where he acquired an interest in the White Elephant Saloon which claimed to be the “largest and most magnificent establishment in the state.”

The dispute arose when Courtright proposed that his help was needed  his “protection.”  Short was attempting to sell his interest in the White Elephant to raised money for the defense of his brother who had killed a man in San Angelo and to deal with his other legal problems.  Courtright’s interference was complicating the sale.  Short was not a man to be intimidated and rejected Courtright’s proposal claiming that he would provide any protection that his saloon needed. Courtright decided it was necessary to show Short what could happen if his services were declined.  The dispute boiled over early on the evening of February 8 when Courtright again confronted Short.  Short’s version of the events was succinct.

“Early in the evening I was getting my shoes blackened at the White Elephant, when a friend of mine asked me if there was any trouble between Courtright and myself, and I told him there was nothing. A few minutes later I was at the bar with a couple of friends when some one called me. I went out into the vestibule and saw Jim Courtright and Jake Johnson. Jake and I had talked for a little while that evening on a subject in which Jim’s name was mentioned, but no idea of a difficulty was entertained. I walked out with them upon the sidewalk, and we had some quiet talk on private affairs. I reminded him of some past transactions, not in an abusive or reproachful manner, to which he assented, but not in a very cordial way. I was standing with my thumbs in the armholes of vest and had dropped them in front of me to adjust my clothing, when he remarked ‘Well, you needn’t reach for your gun,’ and immediately put his hand in his hip-pocket and pulled his. When I saw him do that, I pulled my pistol and began shooting, for I knew that his action meant death. He must have misconstrued my intention in dropping my hands before me. I was merely adjusting my clothing, and never carry a pistol in that part of my dress.”

Before the encounter was over, Short had shot Courtright five times.  Bat Masterson who witnessed the shootout recounted the action.

“No time was wasted in the exchange of words once the men faced each other. Both drew their pistols at the same time, but, as usual, Short’s spoke first and a bullet from a Colt’s 45-calibre pistol went crashing through Courtright’s body. The shock caused him to reel backward; then he got another and still another, and by the time his lifeless form had reached the floor, Luke had succeeded in shooting him five times.”

Photo of Luke Short.

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The Coming War with Iran

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It is becoming very clear that Trump wants a war.  As he said during the campaign, “I love war, in a certain way” and clearly pointed out that nuclear weapons were “very important to me.” Red takes Trump at his word.  His already flagging approval rating is merely the latest warning sign.

There are two sure ways to temporarily boost your popularity in the White House – 1) do things that are actually popular and improve the country, or 2) start a war.  The first way is hard and Trump seems incapable of doing anything likely to get a majority of the country behind him (and remember readers – Red fully supports complete implementation of the Trump/GOP agenda starting with locking up Hillary and deporting 12 million illegal aliens and building a wall at Mexico’s expense).  But all he has been able to do so far is make some weak moves on immigration that are getting tied up in the courts and pay some lip service to unleashing Wall Street to deservedly feast on the unwary – yet again.  It isn’t working.  We are only 2.5 weeks in and Trump is already  stalking the corridors of the White House late at night when the cable news outlets go into repeat mode.  That usually doesn’t happen until deep in a second term.

So what’s a poor billionaire to do when faced with an increasingly disapproving public and the “dishonest media.”

Red has an idea! Drum up a war.  And who can most of America agree to hate – that’s right IRAN.  It’s only been 36 years since the hostage crisis and the aged clerics are bound to screw something up that will provide at least a thin veneer of an excuse for unleashing hell.  And a thin veneer will suffice for Trump and likely for a good number of Americans.

Which brings us to the coddling of Russia.  Trump is smart enough to know that a war against Iran will be much easier if Putin throws in with us.  They are right there after all and we can stage operations from Mother Russia much more easily than from say – Iraq.  The question is – what is the price of Russian cooperation.  Is it the Ukraine?  The Baltics?  All of Central Europe?  Whatever it is, Trump may be willing to pay if he thinks that a US-Iran conflict will deliver him the ratings and favorable poll numbers that he so greatly desires.  And if we have to lose a few thousand men and women and spend trillions of dollars, well that is a small price to pay to have your ego stroked.

Yes, there is that small problem of  the Constitution and Congress and a declaration of war, but that hasn’t really stopped any president in a long time.  If war is what Trump wants, Congress is likely to give him one.

So those of you out there with teenage boys and girls, like Red, take heed.  Do you want your son or daughter sacrificed on the altar of Trump’s vanity?  We fought a failed war in Iraq without a draft, but  a war against a much larger, much richer opponent may just require reinstitution of compulsory service.  No more fighting wars on the cheap.  The price is blood and Red thinks there will be many payments made before Trump is sated.

 

 

 

Today in Texas History – February 7

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From the Annals of Stupidity –  In 1837, Brigadier General Felix Huston wounded his superior officer General Albert Sidney Johnston in a duel.  President Sam Houston had sent Johnston to replace Huston as commander of the Texas army.  Huston considered Houston’s rebuke to impugn his honor such that, despite his respect for Johnston, he made a challenge.  Even though Johnston was in charge of enforcing the strict no dueling policy of the Texas Army, he accepted the challenge.

The two Fighting Kentuckians met near the Lavaca River in Jackson County under a large oak tree that has become known as Dueling Oak.  Huston was an expert marksman which prompted Johnston’s second to propose that the duelists agree to shoot from the hip to lessen the chances that ASJ would be seriously injured.

Johnston waited until Huston took aim before firing his own pistol, hoping to distract the excellent shot.  The ploy failed and each man fired three times.  The affair ended when ASJ was shot through the hip on the third volley. The attending physician told ASJ that he was going to die as the ball had hit the sciatic nerve.

Magnanimous in victory, Huston offered condolences and pledged to serve under ASJ’s command.  For his part, Johnston is reputed to have never held the foolish duel against Huston even though his recovery took several months and temporarily prevented him from assuming command according to Sam Houston’s wishes.  Perhaps admonished by his actions, Huston left the Army shortly afterwards and returned to the United States.

Photo of the Dueling Oak from http://www.texasforestservice.tamu.edu.

 

Today in Texas History – February 6

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From the Annals of Journalism –  In 1879, the  Texan,  was first published in La Grange by E. J. Glueckman.  The paper was first Czech newspaper in Texas.  The short-lived paper was renamed Slovan in  July 1879 after Frank Lidiak bought the paper. In 1885, Lidiak sold the paper to Joseph Cada, who moved it to Bryan.  The operation was completely out of business by 1889.

NFL Overtime Rules Written by Morons

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The Patriots may have deserved to win the Superb Owl yesterday, but we will never know because of the NFL’s bizarre and absurd overtime rules.  No other major sport has a true sudden death overtime.  The NBA plays 5 minute OT periods until someone wins.  Baseball plays full innings until someone wins.  The NHL does have sudden death but the game changes from offense to defense very quickly and possession is won in a face off.  It would be a very unusual circumstance for each team to not have possession of the puck in OT.  Soccer plays two 15 minute overtime periods followed by a shootout if needed.   It is absurd that after a full NFL season and the playoffs, that the championship can be so influenced by a coin toss.  Yes, the team winning the toss has to score a touchdown, but it is a ridiculous system that does not allow each team a shot on offense.  The college system has its flaws but at least has some elements of fairness.

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From the Annals of the Breweries –  In 1896, the Galveston Brewing Company began operations. The GBC operated the first major brewery in Texas with notables such as major shareholder Adolphus Busch raising $400,000 to fund the construction.   Smaller local brewers had of course been operating since the early days of the Republic.  With its sizable German population,  several commercial breweries had been established in Texas’ German and Czech communities.  The impressive Galveston complex included a large ice plant, cold-storage rooms, water wells, railroad access, and a brewery capable of producing 75,000 barrels of beer each year.    GBC featured brands such as High Grade and Seawall Bond.   GBC’s facility somehow survived the infamous 1900 Hurricane practically unscathed.  Prohibition was more of a challenge than the worst the Gulf of Mexico could throw at it,  but the GBC managed to survive for a while by producing  Galvo, a “nonintoxicating cereal beverage” of questionable quality and likely disgusting taste.

The San Antonio Raiders?

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Last year, Mark Davis, Oakland Raiders owner and scion of Al Davis, visited San Antonio as a possible prelude to an unlikely move to the Alamo City.  It seemed like a mere tease to induce either Los Angeles or Las Vegas to come up with a plan (and a lot of dough) to move the Raiders out of Oakland to a more desirable location in the Pacific Time Zone.  But now, the Las Vegas plan is falling apart after loathsome billionaire Sheldon Adelson took his money and went home, Los Angeles already has a team (or two) and San Diego is unlikely to cough up money for the Raiders when it wouldn’t do so for the beloved Chargers.  Oakland isn’t coming up with $1.5 billion for a new facility, so what are the Raiders to do?

Maybe San Antonio is back on the table.  SA has always been a Cowboys town, so anything that will cut into the Cowboys’ fan base is all right with Red.  Red is admittedly a bit concerned about the emaciated walking ghost of Al Davis haunting the hallowed grounds of the Alamo or stirring up the placid waters of the River Walk – but some risks are worth taking to get another NFL team within easy driving distance.

Trump Speaks at National Prayer Breakfast

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Thank you for having me here this morning.  It’s great to be here with all these religious leaders – of course, it’s even greater for you to be here with me.  This gathering is a testament to the great customs of our nation and I will be with you here until they carry me out in a box or I am ridden out of town on a rail.

Thanks for the words from Senate Chaplain.  Is that an appointed position?  Screw the Senate, you’re reappointed for another year or until you say something I don’t like.

So instead of talking about important issues, let’s talk about me.  How about the great introduction from Mark Burnett – producer of my incredible show The Apprentice – which was the greatest and most-watched show in TV history until I had to leave to run for President and it went down the shithole when that moron Arnold took over.   Let’s all pray for that pathetic Austrian son of a bitch.

And here’s Mike Pence – my vice-president.  He was a total nobody until I picked him.  He would have shoveling shit back in Indiana but for me – remember that Mikey.

You know I was raised in a churching home.  We went all the time.  I figured I am good for the rest of my life so that’s why you won’t see me in your churches any time soon.  Nowadays, I prefer to worship at the Temple of the First Fairway.

Okay, here at the Prayer Breakfast let’s talk about war.  We are going to kick the everloving shit out of ISIS – just like Jesus would want.   And I will be there for every family who has to sacrifice a son, daughter, father or mother in any wars that I start to deflect attention from my otherwise utter incompetence.  I will be there for you – unless you criticize me like those Khan shitheads – and then I will bring the wrath of God down upon you – or at least a bunch of Trump loyalist goons.

Finally, the Johnson amendment – you know the one that keeps preachers from talking politics on the pulpit.  I’m getting rid of that.  And when I do, every last one of you better endorse me.  First Amendment be damned.  Be goddamned in fact.

It’s been great being here.  God bless America, but more importantly God bless Trump.