Tag Archives: 2016 Campaign

Jeb!!!!$$$$? Pulls Out

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Jeb!!!!$$$$? suspended his presidential campaign after a lackluster 4th place finish in South Carolina on Saturday.  Red is relieved because another Bush presidency might have just driven him over the edge.   With that in mind, here are the best comments overheard yet about Jeb!!!!$$$$?’s withdrawal.

“What, he was still running?”

“Looks like his mom was right.”

“He certainly was . . . a tall candidate.”

“Damn, now we won’t get to invade another country that doesn’t pose a direct threat to the U.S.”

” And there goes the only man who could make his big brother look smart.”

“I was looking forward to seeing him get 7% of the vote in Texas and show the nation we aren’t quite as dumb as we seem.”

“What’s George P. up to – besides hating his job?”

“Giving new meaning to “Bush League.”

“His college roommate said he was the dumbest man he had ever met.  Guess he didn’t know Marco Rubio.”

“$2800 per vote just doesn’t go as far as you might think.”

“What, he was still running?”

 

Is There Anything Ted Cruz Doesn’t Lie About (cont.)?

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The Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) sponsored website TheRealRubioRecord.com has posted a photo of Sen. Marco Rubio (?-Florida) – GASP! – actually shaking hands with the President of the United States.  This treasonous act of actually extending your hand to the duly elected leader of our country would clearly disqualify Sr. Rubio from himself being President.   For his part, Cruz claims to have never shaken hands with any Democrat – preferring instead to do the “old tie trick” where he points to a spot on your tie and then flicks your chin.  What a card!

But the revelation of this scandalous photo of a sitting Senator displaying common courtesy (something not likely to be a problem in a Cruz administration), has instead again raised questions about the tactics of Cruz’s campaign.  Why? Because it is an obviously altered photo.  As a matter of first impression, Red would note – who shakes with their left hand?  We know the Kenyan, Muslim, Socialist, Terrorism-Sympathizing President is, of course, left-handed.  But even Steve Carlton shook with his right hand – that is, when he wasn’t throwing a high hard one at your head.  Second, the Rubio campaign has clearly shown that the photo is a poorly executed “Photoshop” job.

Todd Harris, a Rubio mouthpiece, insisted, “This is not Marco Rubio. This person, we don’t know who that is, but they Photoshopped Marco’s face onto somebody else. This is how phony and how deceitful the Cruz campaign has become. Marco Rubio doesn’t own that tie, he doesn’t own that watch, he doesn’t own that suit . . . There is so little honesty left in the Cruz campaign that they’re actually willing to Photoshop a fellow Republican’s face onto the body of some other person to completely invent an attack on Marco Rubio.”

Rubio’s campaign backed up its claim by showing the stock photo used by Cruz.

View image on Twitter

But all this sniping may actually backfire on Rubio, Red knows that true red-blooded, patriotic, evangelical Christian voters in South Carolina would never truck with anyone foolish enough to not take a knee shot at Obama’s nads when close enough to actually shake hands with the devil incarnate.

Ted Cruz – Should we or Should we not Execute all the Gays

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) may have backed just slightly away from the precipice of utter insanity – not to mention complete disregard of constitutional protections when he admitted that it may have been a mistake to appear on the stage at Kevin Swanson’s Kill the Gays Rally in November.   At the rally, Swanson called for wholesale extermination of homosexuals claiming support from Paul’s Letter to the Romans.  Swanson, showing his softer side, would give the gays a chance to repent, but failing that makes no apology in advocating for the roundup and extermination of his gay brethren.  Swanson is a little unclear on exactly how this fits in with constitutional protections for the accused and a trial by jury of one’s peers.  Those constitutional niceties are apparently brushed aside the word of God as expressed by his servant Paul – who was also in favor of slavery by the way.   Right after Swanson’s screaming rant calling for mass murder, Ted was happy to take the stage.  After all, Dad Rafael had appeared before the audience earlier throwing actual chunks of red meat to hungry listeners.    Despite his recent creep towards sanity, Cruz still welcomes Swanson’s endorsement.  Apparently the protections of the Constitution are good for straight white people.   Everyone else – not so much.

W Speaks, Red Translates

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George W. Bush hit the campaign trail for the first time since his overdue retirement in South Carolina.  He hopes to revive brother Jeb!!!!$$$$?’s flagging hopes to bring yet another Bush to the White House.  Apparently, the former President’s favorability ratings in the Palmetto State among Republicans are as high as 84%.  Which means those folks either have very short memories or really like a legacy of incompetence and failure.

As always, Red is there to translate for you.

Thank you South Carolina, Laura and I have very fond memories of our previous times campaigning in this State (because this state saved my bacon by buying into the lies that I told about John McCain – if you crackers were dumb enough to believe that BS then you just might be stupid enough to vote for my little brother Bush).

Americans  (mostly Tea Party backers) are angry (how did we let a darkie get elected twice) and frustrated (because Whitey is no longer King), but we do not need someone (and that would be anyone not named Bush) in the Oval Office who mirrors and inflames our frustrations (believe me I know all about frustration inflammation – my approval rating was about 20% at the end),” the former president said. “We need someone (a Bush, a Bush or a Bush) who can fix the problems (Dick Cheney is too damn old now) that cause our anger (read racial prejudice) and frustration (that Whitey thing again) and that’s Jeb Bush (did you think I was going to say Kasich?).”

Jeb is a man of deep and humble faith (dude better be humble because he makes me look like a freakin’ genius) that reveals itself through good works (making money trading on the ol’ family name), not loud words (or intelligible ones for that matter).  All of the sloganeering and all of the talk doesn’t matter if we don’t win (but we will spend all of the millions he has raised nonetheless because the Bush family is really a cottage industry when it comes to campaign consultants).

We’ve become tree farmers (finally something that’s really hard to screw up). It gives me some time to practice my stump speech (I made a funny, ha ha, get it?). I’ve been one to defy expectations (mostly because I was expected to do nothing more than trade on the family name, screw up, lose money and repeat – oh wait a minute, that kind of describes my presidency). I’ve been mis-underestimated most of my life (not really, as President I pretty much hit the mis-underestimated mark square on).”

Is There Anything Ted Cruz Doesn’t Lie About (cont.)?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) has reached a new low in his latest mass mailing.  The Cruz mailing looks like it is on his official Senate stationery and on the front states there is a “Check Enclosed.”   The check turns out to be a phony and not a check for the recipient.  Rather, it is a supposed matching contribution check that will go to the Cruz campaign if the voter makes a contribution to the Cruz campaign.

The mailer may violate  a 2015 Texas law requiring solicitations with a fake check to have “clearly and conspicuously printed in at least 18-point type: ‘SPECIMEN-NON-NEGOTIABLE.'”  Progress Texas has filed a complaint with the Texas attorney general’s office claiming a violation of that law.

“This is the kind of mail my legislation was trying to prevent,” said state Rep. Gene Wu (D). “It certainly breaks the spirit of the law, and I agree that the Texas’ Consumer Protection Division should look into whether or not it breaks the letter of the law, as well. Texas consumers should not be tricked into sending anyone their money, especially to elected officials.”

But what does the law matter when your campaign is a crusade to elect the only man capable of saving our nation and indeed humanity from the abyss.   The super-narcissist Cruz clearly does not think the law applies to him.

Image from the Huffington Post.

Is There Anything Ted Cruz Doesn’t Lie About (cont.)?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) tried to trick potential Ben Carson caucus goers into supporting him on Monday night by falsely claiming that Carson was dropping out of the race.  After it was reported that Carson was going home to Florida on Monday night, Cruz and his campaign quickly tried to create the impression that Carson was ending his campaign.

Just as the caucuses were beginning to meet at 7 p.m., the official Ted Cruz mobile app sent a message to some Iowans.

“CNN is reporting that Ben Carson will stop campaigning after Iowa.  Make sure to tell all of your peers at the caucus supporting Carson that they should coalesce around the true conservative who will be in the race for the long haul: TED CRUZ!”

Carson denied that he was quitting, but at least some damage may have already been done.   Numerous caucus attendees have reported that Cruz supporters attempted  to sway Carson voters by announcing that Carson would be dropping out of the race.

For his part, Carson has described Cruz’s tactics as “dirty tricks” and has called on Cruz to fire anyone involved in the “shenanigans.”  That seems unlikely as Ted is probably unwilling to fire himself.  “If Ted Cruz doesn’t know about this, then he clearly needs to very quickly get rid of some people in his organization,” Carson said. “And if he does know about it, isn’t this the exact kind of thing the American people are tired of?”

Ted Cruz Bullies Way to Victory in Iowa

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Red knows that Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) won the Iowa Caucuses last night edging out billionaire Donald Trump by about 4%.  Cruz is riding a wave of support from the evangelical base of the GOP.  His entire campaign seems to be aimed at convincing everyone that he is among the most religious men on the planet and that only Ted can save our country – indeed perhaps humanity –  from the evils of  . . .  well, anyone but Ted.  This son of an immigrant come to save our country from immigrants.  This smartest man in every room come to tell us exactly how smart he is.

Somehow Red just can’t get his head around the fact that 28% of people anywhere think that Cruz would be a good choice to lead their neighborhood property owners association much less this country.    What is it that these voters like about Ted?  His plan to raise their taxes while providing huge tax cuts for the wealthiest?  His bellicose foreign policy plans that call for what would likely be an unending war in the Middle East – not that we don’t already have that thanks to the Bush family?  His winning personality that has resulted in not a single one of his fellow Senators endorsing him?  His blatant narcissism?  His persistent lies on  many topics?  His frying bacon with an automatic weapon?  His misleading and near fraudulent mailings to voters? His failure to follow simple campaign disclosure laws? His plans to lead the GOP over a cliff?

Please tell Red, he wants to know.

Quote for the Day

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“Mr. Cruz needs to study old Ronald Reagan clips to understand the difference between having strong beliefs and being an insufferable jerk about them.”

Bret Stephens from What Ted Cruz Values in the WSJ.  A must read.

Is it Just Red, or is Ted Cruz’s New Ad Just Plain Weird?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) launched a new TV ad in New Hampshire featuring hordes of well-dressed “accountants and lawyers” invading the US across what is supposed to be the Rio Grand and a border fence (notably, no one is seen actually scaling the fence).  The focus of the ad is a claim that if the aforementioned hordes of accountants, lawyers and presumably other professionals were illegally crossing the border and driving down salaries for those occupations, then the swells would be up in arms about illegal immigration.  First, this presupposes that illegal immigration has actually suppressed wages and implies that GOP policies which have helped to keep real incomes flat ever since Reagan’s inauguration have nothing to do with the problem.  Second, it’s just plain weird.