“Oh, I used to be disgusted. And now I try to be amused.”
Elvis Costello from (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes.
Sort of sums up how Red feels about the Texas GOP.
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Tag Archives: GOP
Red is For Secession – of the GOP
Today Texas Republicans will debate and vote on whether Texas should secede from the United States. While the chances are slim that there are enough certifiably insane delegates to the GOP convention to pass a secession resolution, Red can’t wait to hear the arguments for it. The less bat-shit crazy wing of the GOP wants nothing to do with this nonsense as they are too busy worrying about which bathroom someone might decide to use or that some woman somewhere in Texas might actually exercise her right to obtain an abortion or that minorities might be able to vote or that school textbooks don’t sufficiently laud the many benefits of slavery in the Old South. But actual secession – once a topic only for the lunatic fringe – is now within the mainstream for many of the GOP faithful.
In Red’s humble opinion, the resolution needs only a minor modification to make it palatable. If the GOP wants to secede from Texas, Red is all for it. They can have Dallas, East Texas and Midland-Odessa.
Attention Independent Candidates – Time’s Up in Texas
The deadline for independent candidates to get on the ballot in Texas passed yesterday without any action. An independent presidential candidate would have had to present petitions with almost 80,000 signatures of registered voters who did not participate in either the Democratic or Republican primary in March. No one stepped up to fill that tall order and the likelihood of a conservative candidate making a credible run for president without being on the ballot in the biggest, most conservative state of all is very small indeed.
Big Whoop
Former Governor and failed presidential candidate Rick Perry endorsed Donald Trump. And in a grand gesture of magnanimity to the presumptive GOP standard-bearer, Perry also noted that he would not be adverse to a vice-presidential nod. No surprise there as Perry has spent most of his adult life slopping at the public trough and a vice-presidency would present him with a nifty lifetime sinecure.
Actually, Red thinks Perry might just be the perfect running mate for DT. He secures a state that Trump couldn’t possibly lose if he named the Unabomber as his vice-president. He can supervise building the wall and then DT can send him to the Distrito Federal to present the bill. He can turn in another pathetic debate performance. But who is Red kidding? DT would never put someone on the ticket that has better hair than his ownself.
And at this point, does anybody really give a damn about what Rick Perry thinks? Anybody, anybody, Bueller, anybody?
Cruz Tries to Steal the News Cycle
In the wake of his crushing losses in five primaries on Tuesday, Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) made a bold attempt to divert the nation’s attention away from the incredible ass-whomping he had just received by naming failed businesswoman Carly Fiorina as his vice-presidential running mate. Cruz made an interesting choice in picking Fiorina who was soundly rejected by the Republican electorate in the early going. Fiorina failed to ignite her campaign and performed miserably in the contests in which she competed. Fiorina had less than 2%support in the Iowa caucuses, received 4% of the vote in New Hampshire with an 8th place finish, and was done. She won exactly zero (o) delegates. Fiorina kept proclaiming that her campaign “was not about me” – which in Red’s opinion is the clear sign that a campaign is indeed all about the candidate’s ego. Fiorina gave voters absolutely no reason to cast their ballot for her – not surprising when he main accomplishments were her record as a horribly failed CEO of Hewlitt-Packard and her losing Senatorial campaign in California. Her one claim to fame was a good performance in the “undercard” debate preceding Iowa which put her to prominence until the voters had the good sense to reject her as completely unqualified. So what attracted Ted to her. Cruz claim he was attracted to Fiorina as his running mate because she was “born in Texas…the very first thing I liked about her.” Interesting since that is something that the Canadian-born Cruz cannot say about himself. Cruz did succeed in turning the national press away from the Trump blow-out on Tuesday, but Red thinks this smacks of desperation and predicts the news cycle will move on in a day or two or at best until Cruz loses in Indiana.
Cruz Stomped in Northeast and Mid-Atlantic
Here are the numbers for Cruz from last night GOP primaries:
Pennsylvania 21.6%
Maryland 18.9
Rhode Island 10.4
Connecticut 11.7
Delaware 15.9
Cruz barely avoided single digits in Rhode Island and Connecticut and was generally stomped elsewhere finishing behind Trump and the weakling Kasich. Pennsylvania was the sole “dim” spot for Cruz last night where he eked out a second place finish over Kasich but still lost by almost 40 points to Trump. Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that Cruz was bloviating about how 65% of Republican voters had rejected Donald Trump. Well last night, close to 85% of Republican voters rejected Ted Cruz.
Cruz’s only path to the nomination is to pray for Trump to fall just short of first ballot victory and then sneak away from Cleveland with a second or third ballot nomination. If that happens, almost every commentator is predicting rioting in the streets.
And then there is this from Cruz: “If you want to beat Donald Trump, the way to do so is not some backroom deal in Washington that steals the nomination and hands it to someone who hasn’t won at the ballot box. The way instead is to beat Donald trump at the polls.”
Listen to yourself Ted.
Ted Cruz Accused of Campaign Violations
Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) has been accused of campaign violations in the conduct of fundraising for his presidential campaign. Texas Democrats claim that Cruz violated federal election law by illegally coordinating with the Super PAC that is promoting his candidacy but which is supposedly – wink, wink, nudge, nudge – completely and totally separate from Cruz’s official campaign juggernaut.
The complaint filed with the Federal Election Commission alleges that Cruz national co-chairman J. Keet Lewis violated federal election laws at an official campaign fundraiser in December by asking Cruz supporters to donate unlimited amounts, as well as to make corporate contributions to the pro-Cruz Stand for Truth PAC (you read that right – “Lyin’ Ted’s” Super PAC is named “Stand for Truth”).
Under federal law, a candidate or agent of a candidate can solicit donors to a PAC. However, it is illegal for them to solicit unlimited contributions or corporate contributions to a Super PAC.
The complaint names Cruz, Lewis, Cruz for President treasurer Bradley Knippa and Stand for Truth Treasurer D. Eric Lycan as respondents. The primary allegations involve remarks Lewis made at the December fundraiser where he told the crowd, “If you hit your max then we have a table for you that is the unlimited table. It can take corporate dollars, it can take partnership dollars, and that’s the Super PAC, Stand for Truth.”
Lewis denies the allegations, but the complaint seems to be just one more in a long line of ethical questions plaguing Cruz’s campaign as it head into the final stretch of primaries over the next month.
Ted Cruz Skunked in New York
Donald Trump mopped the floor with Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) on Tuesday on Trump’s home turf. The Texas Tea Party hero finished a distant third behind Trump and Ohioan John Kasick and earned exactly ZERO delegates. Trump made up all the ground that Cruz had fought hard for over the last month in one night and with a favorable calendar for the next two weeks, looks likely to very nearly close the deal by the end of April. Another Trump sweep seems possible next week. Cruz might have a chance to win Nebraska or maybe South Dakota, but his only real shot now is to muck up the works at the GOP National Convention, deny Trump a first ballot victory, and then sneak off with the nomination on a later ballot. That might actually present the best-case scenario in Red’s opinion.
“How so?”, you ask. If going to Cleveland Trump has – say 1200 delegates – close but no cigar, Cruz will do everything in his power to hold Trump just short. If he succeeds and wins the nomination in a “contested convention”, the GOP will likely fracture, Trump may run as a third party candidate, Cruz will go down in ignominious defeat losing 49 states, never be heard from again as a serious national candidate, and maybe re-immigrate to Canada. A guy can dream can’t he?
Texas Secession Picking up Steam – At Least Among Tea Partisans
Delegates at the Texas GOP convention in June will get to debate the issue of Texas secession – an issue Red thought had been emphatically decided 150 years ago. But not for the die-hard Tea Partisans who fancy themselves patriots.
A group called the Texas Nationalist Movement claims at least 22 county conventions have passed resolutions on a secession vote. Pressure is mounting for the GOP to have what would likely be a very embarrassing vote on secession at the state convention. The party avoided a controversy four years ago when according to the TNM only one such resolution passed.
Jared Woodfill, a Tea Party activist and candidate for the State GOP chairmanship, predictably weighed in on the side of the secessionists. “I absolutely think the people should have an opportunity to vote on this issue,” said Woodfill according to the Houston Chronicle. Current Texas GOP chairman Tom Mechler, was less enthusiastic. “Republican is not even in their name,” Mechler said of TNM. It would be nice if another Texas GOP official – ahem, Our Poor Idiot Governor for instance – would come out against secession. Red wouldn’t hold his breath waiting for that.
So sedition may become an official part of the Texas GOP platform. Red wonders how Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) views all of this since if Texas secedes it would seem he would be further disqualified from holding the job he now seeks so desperately. Of course, if Cruz becomes president, all talk of secession will die. But talk of impeachment will just be getting started.
Ted Cruz Speaks – Red Translates
Red loves his weekly email from Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas). When “Lyin’ Ted” writes, hilarity ensues. As always, Red translates for you – so you don’t have to.
Greetings,
This week, I continued to push back (disguised cleverly as flailing about helplessly and flapping my gums) against President Obama’s unconstitutional (because only I can divine the mysterious intent of the founding fathers – so just trust me on this) executive amnesty. Texans have witnessed the harmful effects of an unsecure border (made somehow less secure by the record number of interdictions and deportations carried out by the Obama administration – but those are merely inconvenient things called facts – wise folks would rather hear me make shit up, wouldn’t you?), which endanger the lives of citizens (who might have to clean their own bathrooms – full of germs I hear) and pose risks to American families (or horror of horrors – mow their own yard). The Obama administration (terrorist sympathizing Muslim communists) must adhere to and respect the rule of law (just wait until I’m president and need to do something), rather than the personal views of the President (clearly a Commie) and what he thinks the law should be (because after all he was only Editor of the Harvard Law Review and a constitutional law professor and not a Supreme Court clerk like me – take that loser).
In an attempt to rein in the lawless actions (I hear it’s like Dodge City in the 1870’s inside the White House) of the Obama administration, the State of Texas (soon to be a sovereign nation if my supporters have anything to say about it) has championed the fight against the Administration’s 2014 executive amnesty (even though I was curiously quiet when W. Bush was trampling on the Constitution), and I am proud (a deadly but really satisfying sin when you have an ego that won’t fit into Capitol rotunda) to continue leading efforts (by running my mouth, calling my colleagues liars and alienating pretty much every other Senator so that they really don’t pay attention to anything I say) against the President’s lawlessness.
Please keep reading for an update on the latest in the Senate (if you have masochistic tendencies).
Keep Texas Strong (Your Canadian Pal),
Ted Cruz
Paradise in Hell 