Tag Archives: Tea Party

Cruz Stomped in Northeast and Mid-Atlantic

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Here are the numbers for Cruz from last night GOP primaries:

Pennsylvania    21.6%

Maryland           18.9

Rhode Island    10.4

Connecticut     11.7

Delaware           15.9

Cruz barely avoided single digits in Rhode Island and Connecticut and was generally stomped elsewhere finishing behind Trump and the weakling Kasich.  Pennsylvania was the sole “dim” spot for Cruz last night where he eked out a second place finish over Kasich but still lost by almost 40 points to Trump.  Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that Cruz was bloviating about how 65% of Republican voters had rejected Donald Trump.  Well last night, close to 85% of Republican voters rejected Ted Cruz.

Cruz’s only path to the nomination is to pray for Trump to fall just short of first ballot victory and then sneak away from Cleveland with a second or third ballot nomination.  If that happens, almost every commentator is predicting rioting in the streets.

And then there is this from Cruz:  “If you want to beat Donald Trump, the way to do so is not some backroom deal in Washington that steals the nomination and hands it to someone who hasn’t won at the ballot box. The way instead is to beat Donald trump at the polls.”

Listen to yourself Ted.

That Basketball Ring?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) attempted to capture some Indiana magic by appearing in the same basketball arena where the iconic movie Hoosiers was filmed.  But Cruz apparently is not very familiar with sports lexicon as he referred to the hoop as “that basketball ring.” That kind of flub in oral argument before a court of appeals would have his colleagues smirking.   CNN has the clip.

John Cornyn States the Obvious

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In an interview with KERA – Dallas, Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) unloaded on Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) as a political opportunist.

“We’ve had our differences on tactics or how to accomplish those goals. Part of it [is] from the fact that I’ve been here a while and I’m part of the elected Republican leadership. My goal has always been to figure out how we can advance the conservative cause. I think he’s taken the more immediate shorter-term view of things. Clearly, he didn’t come here to remain in the Senate. He came here to run for president. I think that perhaps explains the difference in tactics.”

So the good folks of Texas voted for a man who had no intention of actually attempting to represent our interests in the Senate.   It’s no surprise to Red that Cruz views his current job as nothing more than a stepping stone to the greater glorification of all things Ted Cruz, but for Cornyn to essentially admit that is fairly remarkable.

All of this begs the question of what Cruz will do if he loses his bid for the presidency.  The Senate will not interest him at all, since it is by now obvious that he will not be able to accomplish anything in that august body that collectively hates him with a white hot passion.  So rather than be a meaningless if petulant back bencher, Red has a few thoughts on what our junior senator might do.

  1. Reality TV show with Sarah Palin – Ted and Sarah on the road, waving flags, shooting guns and talking crazy.
  2. Personal injury plaintiff’s lawyer.
  3. Don’t miss the “TrusTed” show at 9 pm EST on Fox News.
  4. Take over when Ed Young retires from Second Baptist – or push the old guy out if necessary.
  5. Find small third world country looking for Dictator for Life!
  6. Stay at home Dad living off Heidi’s Goldman Sachs paychecks and watching Hogan’s Heroes reruns.
  7. High school history teacher with simple message – Lincoln bad, Jeff Davis good.
  8. Multi-million dollar book deal.  Most copies remaindered for a $1.99.
  9. Actual tea party host.
  10. Or maybe Canada wants him back?

 

Ted Cruz Accused of Campaign Violations

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) has been accused of campaign violations in the conduct of fundraising for his presidential campaign.  Texas Democrats claim that Cruz violated federal election law by illegally coordinating with the Super PAC that is promoting his candidacy but which is supposedly – wink, wink, nudge, nudge – completely and totally separate from Cruz’s official campaign juggernaut.

The complaint filed with the Federal Election Commission alleges that Cruz national co-chairman J. Keet Lewis violated federal election laws at an official campaign fundraiser in December by asking Cruz supporters to donate unlimited amounts, as well as to make corporate contributions to the pro-Cruz Stand for Truth PAC  (you read that right – “Lyin’ Ted’s” Super PAC is named “Stand for Truth”).

Under federal law, a candidate or agent of a candidate can solicit donors to a PAC.  However, it is illegal for them to solicit unlimited contributions or corporate contributions to a Super PAC.

The  complaint names Cruz,  Lewis, Cruz for President treasurer Bradley Knippa and Stand for Truth Treasurer D. Eric Lycan as respondents.  The primary allegations involve remarks Lewis made at the December fundraiser where he told the crowd, “If you hit your max then we have a table for you that is the unlimited table. It can take corporate dollars, it can take partnership dollars, and that’s the Super PAC, Stand for Truth.”

Lewis denies the allegations, but the complaint seems to be just one more in a long line of ethical questions plaguing Cruz’s campaign as it head into the final stretch of primaries over the next month.

Quote for the Day

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“America has always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat.”

Sen. Ted Cruz  (TP-Texas) in unveiling his new campaign theme of “Yes we will (steal the nomination from Donald Trump).”

Ted obviously was not kidding about that lack of sleep.  Is Ted calling America a whore? Or just an easy rack?

Ted Cruz Complains – Red Translates

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Dear Red ,

I’m about to ask you to make a sacrifice (I’m an Old Testament Christian after all) in the next 48 hours. But before I do, I want you to know: I wouldn’t ask you if I hadn’t already done it myself   (If you don’t believe me check out the burned doves and occasional ripped open sheep on my back patio).

Please let me briefly explain.

You see, running for President of the United States is a significant sacrifice (mostly of the opportunity to vote in the Senate – the job I was elected to do). Only through prayer and many late night discussions (I love pillow talk) with my wife, family, and closest friends did I make THE decision (Not that the outcome was ever in doubt).
And I must share with you — I’ve committed to sacrificing a great deal for our campaign:

Time with my family: Spending almost every day on the campaign trail or fighting on the Senate floor (at least once a month) means precious little time spent with my wife, Heidi, (I think that’s her name) and my daughters (I forget their names but damn they’re cute) — the very family that gives me the motivation and drive to fight (well that along with my raging narcissism).

Health and sleep: My runoff campaign for the Senate in 2012 took a toll (I wouldn’t wish my varicose veins on my worst enemy), but now I’m sacrificing even more sleep with long nights and constant travel (which explains some of my bizarre outbursts). And the pizza diet (you know I prefer Canadian bacon) is a staple on the campaign trail.

Finances: the cost of campaigning back and forth across the country for president is increasingly expensive (but paid for with other people’s money), but Heidi and I are willing to invest our livelihoods into this sacrifice (because win or lose a big book deal is coming).

Personal time: You think of this the least, but as a candidate, my days are no longer my own (in fact, they are bought and paid for by the Koch brothers). Days start before dawn and many times don’t end until early the next morning (only the adulation of the crowds keeps me going). There is almost no personal time when you run for president (it takes three aides to help me take a shit).

Red, I’ve chosen to sacrifice part of mine and my families lives (our lives, damn it, our lives – I’m just like Abraham) to run for President (my lifelong dream)— but I think you will agree with me that the sacrifice is well worth it (or maybe not).

 Unless courageous conservatives (and a good number of misled dupes) are willing to make tough sacrifices to stand up and fight, we will not be able to restore America (you know, flood damage from the Obama years and all).

Today, I’m asking you to make a sacrifice —–. Will you join me by making a special, one-time (did I say one time?  Jeez, the staff is going to be pissed off about that one) gift (it’s like Christmas every day at the Cruz headquarters) to my campaign?
I’ve asked my staff to put together these secure links below so you can make an instant and secure sacrificial gift — it can be done in just 5 minutes.

 I CAN SACRIFICE $35 (a dove) TO RESTORE AMERICA >>  I CAN SACRIFICE $100 (a lamb) TO RESTORE AMERICA >> 

 I CAN SACRIFICE $250 (a cow) TO RESTORE AMERICA >> 

 I CAN SACRIFICE $1000 (a bull elephant) TO RESTORE AMERICA >> 

Will you be a courageous conservative and make a special gift today to help restore America? I can only reach this goal with your help.


I wouldn’t ask you if 1f I wasn’t willing to make the same sacrifice myself (I managed to work in sacrifice 15 times – if that doesn’t get the evangelicals all riled up and ready to get out the credit cards – nothing will); and 2) the stakes weren’t so high (later tonight, they are going to drive the stakes through my hands – how’s that for sacrifice).

Red (I used your name 3 times, Red, make that 4, Red, oh shit now it’s 5 – please make me stop)—, time is critical, and if you will, please make this special gift in the next 48 hours — I would be so grateful (I’ll raise your taxes just to prove it).

For liberty (and the greater glorification of all things Ted Cruz,

Ted Cruz

 

 

 

   
    
   
   

 

 

Ted Cruz Skunked in New York

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Donald Trump mopped the floor with Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) on Tuesday on Trump’s home turf.  The Texas Tea Party hero finished a distant third behind Trump and Ohioan John Kasick and earned exactly ZERO delegates.  Trump made up all the ground that Cruz had fought hard for over the last month in one night and with a favorable calendar for the next two weeks, looks likely to very nearly close the deal by the end of April.   Another Trump sweep seems possible next week.   Cruz might have a chance to win Nebraska or maybe South Dakota, but his only real shot now is to muck up the works at the GOP National Convention, deny Trump a first ballot victory, and then sneak off with the nomination on a later ballot.  That might actually present the best-case scenario in Red’s opinion.

“How so?”, you ask.   If going to Cleveland Trump has – say 1200 delegates – close but no cigar, Cruz will do everything in his power to hold Trump just short.  If he succeeds and wins the nomination in a “contested convention”, the GOP will likely fracture, Trump may run as a third party candidate, Cruz will go down in ignominious defeat losing 49 states, never be heard from again as a serious national candidate, and maybe re-immigrate to Canada.  A guy can dream can’t he?

Sid Miller Uses Tax Dollars to Promote – Wait for It – Sid Miller

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Texas Politician Rips On Lawmakers With Passive-Aggressive Gas Pump Label

Red knows that many elected office holders will attempt to use their office to keep their name in front of the voters as much as possible and gratify their all-consuming egos.  You can’t go anywhere in Texas without finding a County Commissioner’s name on a sign within a half-mile.  But Agricultural Commissioner Sid “Cupcake” Miller is taking it to a higher level with his new stickers that every Texas gas station must place on fuel pumps.

The sticker is topped by Miller’s name in large print and then after a friendly “Howdy Neighbors!” (Red admires proper use of an exclamation point!), Sid goes on to disclaim responsibility for motor fuel taxes and make sure the driver knows that the dastardly U.S. Congress and Texas Legislature are to blame.

When asked why Miller’s name was so prominent on the new stickers, the Texas Agriculture deputy commissioner’s response was: “The individuals involved in the design are not currently in the office.”  If only the same could be said for Sid.

 

Texas Secession Picking up Steam – At Least Among Tea Partisans

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Delegates at the Texas GOP convention in June will get to debate the issue of Texas secession – an issue Red thought had been emphatically decided 150 years ago.  But not for the die-hard Tea Partisans who fancy themselves patriots.

A group called the Texas Nationalist Movement claims at least 22 county conventions have passed resolutions on a secession vote.  Pressure is mounting for the GOP to have what would likely be a very embarrassing vote on secession at the state convention.  The party avoided a controversy four years ago when according to the TNM only one such resolution passed.

Jared Woodfill, a Tea Party activist and candidate for the State GOP chairmanship, predictably weighed in on the side of the secessionists.  “I absolutely think the people should have an opportunity to vote on this issue,” said Woodfill according to the Houston Chronicle.  Current Texas GOP chairman Tom Mechler, was less enthusiastic.  “Republican is not even in their name,” Mechler said of TNM.  It would be nice if another Texas GOP official – ahem, Our Poor Idiot Governor for instance – would come out against secession.  Red wouldn’t hold his breath waiting for that.

So sedition may become an official part of the Texas GOP platform.  Red wonders how Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) views all of this since if Texas secedes it would seem he would be further disqualified from holding the job he now seeks so desperately.  Of course, if Cruz becomes president, all talk of secession will die.  But talk of impeachment will just be getting started.

Ted Cruz has Anti-Dildo Vote Locked Up

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Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) formerly served as the Solicitor General of Texas under then Attorney General and Greg Abbott.  As SG, part of Cruz’s job was to defend Texas laws when they were attacked in court.  So Red is a bit sympathetic with the Junior Senator (words you won’t read very often), as the attorney’s job is to advocate for his client.  But the time Cruz worked to defend the so-called “Anti-Dildo” law provides some insight into the workings of the brilliant legal mind of Cruz.  In 2004, several Austin sex-toy stores and a retail distributor of such products challenged the Anti-Dildo law which prohibited the sale and promotion of supposedly obscene devices.  A violation of the law was punishable by a prison term of up to two years.  Since the suit attacked the constitutionality of the law, the Attorney General’s office weighed in and Cruz presented a forceful defense of Texas’ right to keep it citizens free from the pernicious influence of the dastardly dildo peddlers.  David Corn at Mother Jones has the full story.

 The brief insisted that Texas, in order to protect “public morals,” had  “police-power interests” in “discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors.” There was a  “government” interest, it maintained, in “discouraging…autonomous sex.” The brief compared the use of sex toys to “hiring a willing prostitute or engaging in consensual bigamy,” and it equated advertising these products with the commercial promotion of prostitution. In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” That is, the pursuit of such happiness had no constitutional standing. And the brief argued there was no “right to promote dildos, vibrators, and other obscene devices.” The plaintiffs, it noted, were “free to engage in unfettered noncommercial speech touting the uses of obscene devices,” but not speech designed to generate the sale of these items.

Fortunately, Cruz lost this legal battle and Texas was spared from the horrors of a thriving dildo black market.  But if you are a squarely in the anti-dildo column, you have found your candidate.