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NFL Overtime Rules Written by Morons
The Patriots may have deserved to win the Superb Owl yesterday, but we will never know because of the NFL’s bizarre and absurd overtime rules. No other major sport has a true sudden death overtime. The NBA plays 5 minute OT periods until someone wins. Baseball plays full innings until someone wins. The NHL does have sudden death but the game changes from offense to defense very quickly and possession is won in a face off. It would be a very unusual circumstance for each team to not have possession of the puck in OT. Soccer plays two 15 minute overtime periods followed by a shootout if needed. It is absurd that after a full NFL season and the playoffs, that the championship can be so influenced by a coin toss. Yes, the team winning the toss has to score a touchdown, but it is a ridiculous system that does not allow each team a shot on offense. The college system has its flaws but at least has some elements of fairness.
Famous Presidential Quotes – the Trump Versions
Franklin D. Roosevelt: “The only thing we have to fear is every-freaking-thing!!!”
John F. Kennedy: “And so my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask how can you screw your country and make a few bucks.”
Ronald Reagan: “Mr. Putin, do whatever the hell you please.”
Ronald Reagan: “America is a fetid hellhole.”
Richard M. Nixon: “A man who has never lost himself in a cause bigger than himself is really damn smart. Only in losing himself does he find out what a loser he is.”
Theodore Roosevelt: “Speak loudly and carry a grudge.”
Abraham Lincoln : “You can fool all of the people all of the time if you just keep repeating the same lies.”
Thomas Jefferson: “The price of freedom is negotiable.”
Who are you going to believe – Trump or your lying eyes?
Trump and his press secretary Sean Spicer both made claims that Friday’s inauguration was attended and viewed by more folks than any event since – well any event ever. Red for one believes them. Those vast empty spaces in the aerial shots from the Trump Washington Monument of the Trump National Mall (bordered by Trump Ave North and Trump Ave South) looking towards the Trump Capitol Building were clearly fabricated by the dishonest members of the disgusting national media (or disgusting members of the dishonest national media if you favor that iteration) who are hell bent on destroying the Trump administration before it self-implodes.
Not only was the crowd enormous, the TV numbers clearly do not reflect the vast numbers of folks who belatedly switched over from Hogan’s Heroes reruns to catch Trump deliver his moving and spirited inaugural address accurately describing the United States as an utter and total hellhole to be saved only by the magic elixir of trade wars, military spending and continual patriotic repetition of the Trump Pledge of Allegiance (formerly to the flag).
Trump clarified the mendacity of the malignant and cancerous media during his speech at the Trump CIA Headquarters in Langley, VA on Saturday. In front of the Trump Memorial Wall of CIA Heroes, the new chief executive pointed directly at the leprous media members in the back of the room while excoriating them for underreporting the size of the crowd at his inauguration. The crowd which Trump advisors estimate to have numbered about 17,535,000 was woefully underreported as being no more than maybe 400,000 by the aforementioned smelly and rat-infested national media. Members of the Trump CIA in the audience cheered, stormed the dais and carried Trump off on their shoulders in triumph.
Back at the Trump White House Plaza Suites (Deluxe Trump Lincoln Bedroom Suite now available for a mere $275,000 per night – two night minimum with continental breakfast included), press secretary Sean Spicer came out for an extended period of two minutes to excoriate (get used to lots of excoriation) the sinful and unrepentant Trump White House press corps for their vicious lies about the size of the inaugural crowd in attendance. According to Spicer, the crowd was bigger than any crowd ever attending any inaugural and its TV ratings dwarfed the Superb Owl. Wisely refusing to take any questions from the correspondents present (all with oozing open sores), Spicer quickly retreated.
That was followed on Sunday morning by Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway, who when confronted with an allegation from escaped convict Chuck Todd of NBC, told him off with a quick “Neener Neener” and pointed out that S. Spicer had not in fact lied but was merely presenting “alternative facts.” Ms. Conway set the stage for the Trump playbook for dealing with the rapists and serial killers comprising the vast majority of the mainstream media (Fox News excepted of course). If your regular facts just aren’t standing up to mild scrutiny, then whip out your aerosol can of “alternative facts”, spray liberally on the lice-infested and vile national media members and watch those “alternative facts” go to work. Red for one digs that scrubbing action.
Today in Texas History – January 20
From the Annals of the Governors – In 1891, James Hogg was inaugurated as the 20th Governor of Texas. Hogg who was born near Rusk in 1851 was the first native-born Texan to serve as Governor. Hogg, a newspaperman and attorney, served as County Attorney of Wood County, District Attorney for the 7th District and Texas Attorney General before serving three terms as Governor. Hogg was remarkably progressive for his day. His main targets were the railroads, foreign land companies.
Our New Treasury Secretary
One needs take only a glance at Steve Mnuchin to form an opinion that he is a weaselly little lying scumbag that would do anything to anybody in order to put another penny in his pocket. His real fortune was made running a foreclosure mill that routinely violated the law and profited from the misery of the less fortunate. Which makes him an absolutely perfect choice for Treasury Secretary in a Trump Administration. A more perfect tool to implement policies designed to make the rich richer on the backs of working Americans could not be found. That principle will be the cornerstone of the Trump Regency; so let’s get on with it. Red fully supports his nomination as a key to implementing the Trump/GOP agenda.
Red’s NFL Picks – Conference Championships
NFL Picks 2016 – Conference Championships
The dream of an all-Texas Superb Owl to be played in Texas died a harsh death last weekend. It wasn’t much of a dream anyway and it keeps alive the curious streak of the home team never hosting the big game.
The Texans never had a chance against the Patriots – although they did keep it close for a whole half as Red predicted. Red almost believed for an instant after Brady’s second interception.
Meanwhile in Arlington, the Cowboys must be sitting around muttering “I could have been somebody, I could have been a contender.” The problem is that Aaron Rodgers is somebody and is always a contender. But now Jerry’s Boys will be spending the off-season wondering what could have been and not making any real changes to a lineup that had a magical year – a year that is not likely to be repeated any time soon. The Cowboys defense has real problems and the rookie phenoms – may just be rookie phenoms. As Red has said, he is perfectly okay with the Cowboys winning one playoff game every decade. So, sorry Jerry, the win for the 10’s is already in the books. Talk to me in 2021.
For Round 2, Red was a spectacular 4-0 and made good on both Sure Bets with the Stealers covering and the under paying off. Good things come to those who wait and wait and wait and . . .
Prime Time Pick of the Week – Stealers smack Patriots. About the only good thing to come out of the Texans’ defeat on Saturday was that the defense beat the everloving crap out of Tom Brady. Even Mrs. Red was getting excited when Chris Covington body slammed TB and Whitney Mercilus dragged him to the ground. Brady took more hard shots in that game than he usually does in a month. The Pats running game was also exposed. Brady won the game with repeated strikes downfield against Texans defensive backs who always seemed to be clueless as to where the ball was going. That won’t happen against the Stealers. Brady will face even more pressure (the Stealers had 30 sacks in the last 8 games). And the Pats are not likely to run against the Stealers any better than they did against the Texans. But the real question is for the Stealers. Can they score against the Pats league-leading defense? The mid-season matchup tells us – well, not much. The Stealers didn’t have Ben and Pats still had Gronk. Landry Jones had to chuck it up 47 times that day in a losing effort for the Stealers – which is something Ben almost never does. LaGarrette “Fat Pig” Blount rushed for 127 yards and 2 touchdowns to lead the Pats to victory. That does not happen Sunday. The Pats also will not be bailed out by Dion Lewis – who had more touchdowns on Sunday than in the rest of his career going back to 2011. Red doesn’t know how the Stealers are going to win, but he knows they are going to win and thus, cover the spread whatever it is. The Stealers are getting 5.5 just in case you are interested. The O/U is at 51. Which strikes Red as way too high. Take the under here. Pittsburgh 21 New England 20.
Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Packers pelt Falcons. Aaron Rodgers – great family man that he is – will always have a place in Red’s heart. Driving a stake through the heart of the Cowboys’ season will do that for you. And the Packs’ reward is to be a 4.5 point dog on the road against the Falcons. The Falcons looked like a well-oiled machine on Saturday – with the big exception of letting Devin Hester run wild on kick and punt returns. Without Hester, the game was not even close. With him, the game wasn’t that close. The Pack has no one like Hester. Although Ty Montgomery’s brilliant play during the Lions-Packers game showed that he is the thinking man’s kick returner. One of the Lions’ kickoff was dying at about the Green Bay 3 yard line. But since it was near the sideline. TM stepped out of bounds and fell on the ball (still in bounds). Under the very complicated NFL kicking rules, that made the ball out of bounds and put the Packers at the 40 yard line. It pays to know the very complicated NFL kicking rules. Red has been duly impressed by the Falcons this season. He has picked them repeatedly in the past – only to be disappointed. The long-suffering Falcons fans are not disappointed – well not yet anyway. It’s a little too good to be true and reality is coming home. The first meeting of these teams at mid-season was a complete shootout with Rodgers and Ryan combining for 7 TD passes, 534 yards and no INTs. Expect about the same on Sunday. The oddsmakers sure do. The O/U on this one is a whopping 61.5. Red sees them getting there. The Packers defense is suspect merely by virtue of having Dom Capers in charge. The Falcons defenses has toughened up considerably over the last month of the season, but these are the Packers after all. This one could last 4:15 and conceivably goes to OT. Okay, Red calls OT. Take the Pack and the points and the over. Green Bay 35 Atlanta 29.
And of course, that gives us a Packers-Stealers Superb Owl. Who doesn’t want to see that?
Trump’s “Landslide”
As readers know, Red fully supports the full implementation of the Trump/GOP agenda – beginning with putting Hillary in jail – because Red believes that the people should get the government they deserve. And in this case the people deserve to get screwed by Trump, something that he has distinctly mastered in his business career.
But Red’s full-throated support for – building the wall (at Mexico’s expense), deporting 11 million aliens, jailing (or if you really believe abortion is murder giving the death penalty or life without parole) to women who get abortions and the doctors who perform them, eviscerating environmental regulations, making the wealthy wealthier and letting Vlad Putin rebuild the Evil Empire, – does not and will not get in the way of Red calling “Bullshit” where he sees it.
The number one piece of bullshit being touted by the Trumpistas right now is that Trump won in a landslide. It’s always TRUMP WON IN AN electoral college LANDSLIDE!!! In typical Trump fashion, the belief apparently is that if you repeat Bullshit often enough, people will come to believe it. Well Bullshit is Bullshit and this landslide talk is utter Bullshit.
We all know Trump lost the popular vote by a wide margin. He got a smaller percentage of the popular vote than Romney, McCain and Kerry – the last 3 losers. He did win the Electoral College – but hardly in a landslide. He will be president because he won Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin. Let’s break it down.
Michigan – Trump wins by 11,000 votes out of over 2.5 million votes cast
Pennsylvania – Trump wins by 45,000 votes out of almost 6 million votes cast
Wisconsin – Trump wins by 23,000 votes out of about 2.8 million votes cast
That is 79,000 votes that swung 46 Electoral College votes to Trump – which is more than his “Landslide” margin of victory in the EC. To put it in perspective that is about like Beaumont deciding the presidential election.
So stop with the “Landslide” nonsense. Here is what a real Electoral College Landslide looks like.
Sorry Jimmy, but Ronnie put a butt-whipping on you in 1980.
The Official Vision of Texas
The other day Red had occasion to visit the “official website” of the State of Texas which is at www.texas.gov. Red can’t seem to copy the background photo here, but you should check it out. Red thinks it is remarkably emblematic of the state after more than 30 years of almost complete control of the reins of power by the incompetent fools in the Texas GOP.
The photo shows a worn and rusted cheap sheet metal barn with a faded Texas flag painted on the side. Remember when the state used to erect great buildings like the Capitol or the UT Tower. Now the only great buildings are the football stadiums. Most government offices look like Class C commercial space even when brand new. Off to the side is a rusted and broken down pickup truck. Remember when we used to have great roads and highways that were the envy of the nation. You’re lucky if you don’t bust a rim every couple of months now and the cumulative toll on your suspension (not to mention yourself) is considerable. In the foreground is a patch of dead grass with cedar trees popping up. Remember when we cared about soil conservation and taking care of our public lands. Go to a State Park now and see how pathetic the facilities have become. Also off to the side is an abandoned silo complex. Remember when small towns were vibrant and farmers could make a decent living.
Red remembers a lot of things. Not all of them good. He remembers when the only black people he ever saw were women dressed in white waiting for the bus after working as domestics all day. He remembers when his classmates referred to the occasional Hispanics at school as “Messkins.” He remembers dirty air and foul water. He also remembers that our state government used to aspire to something other than hatred and fear-mongering. But with folks like Our Poor Idiot Governor and homophobe Dan Patrick in charge, all we can really expect is third-rate leadership focused on important issues like telling women what to do with their bodies and policing who can pee where and making sure that poor kids keep attending crappy schools.
At least Red can look to the federal government for better leadership and focus on issues that really matter. Oh wait a galldurned minute!
Trump’s Broken Promises
In the first of what likely will be a long line of broken promises from the Trump administration, comes news that Mexico will not be paying for the “beautiful wall” after all. Instead, Trump and his feckless Republican allies will rely on a previous authorization from the W. Bush era which provided for construction of a fence – not a wall. The GOP will seek to add funding for the fence to an omnibus budget bill to lessen the chance of opposition.
Now as you know, Red fully supports the Trump/GOP agenda under the theory that America voted for these clowns and deserves to get the just desserts of its choice. Which means that Red fully supports a beautiful wall (not a fence) paid for by our good amigos in Mexico. After all, what were the two most prominent items that DJ Trump kept promising over and over at his massive rallies? It’s seems so long ago, but Red vaguely remembers that Hillary was going to prison and that Mexico was paying for the wall. Remember “Lock her up!” and “Who’s going to pay for it?” Guess what saps? Hillary is going nowhere and you are paying for the wall.
Paradise in Hell 