Only a Very Few Will Get This One

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KA Sushi

In 2015, at Washington near Lee,

There was a band of sushi chefs as bold as they could be,

They rolled with Li and Jack-san from the bayou to the bay,

They banded themselves together and they called themselves KA

 I’m a son of a san of a son of a san of son of an ol’ KA

A son of a san of a son of a san of Nippon Land, Hoorah!

 We have some cafes in Peru and plenty in Japan,

We’ll roll our rolls in Africa and any foreign land,

To them we give aji, mako and a Crazy Irishman.

We’ll take our stand in Old Japan and roll for ol’ KA.

Today in Texas History – October 27

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From the Annals of the Tall Ships – In 1877, The Elissa was launched. She is the official Tall Ship of Texas and was originally designed as an iron-hulled, three-masted barque and built at the Clyde River shipyard of Alexander Hall and Company of Aberdeen, Scotland, for Henry Fowler Watt of Liverpool, England.  After much renovation, she is a now a fully restored sailing ship that belongs to the Galveston Historical Foundation. Her overall length is 162 feet and draws 16 feet. Her gross capacity is 430 tons. She carries nineteen sails made of 12,000 square feet of a synthetic material that resembles canvas. The Elissa began her career as a British merchantman on December 19, 1877, when she carried a cargo of Welsh coal to Recife, Brazil, where she arrived on January 28, 1878. For the next ninety years, she was steadily employed as a tramp freight carrier traveling all over the world. The main United States ports she stopped at were New York, Boston, Savannah, and Pensacola. She also stopped at Galveston in 1883 and 1886.  Her career included stints in Scandinavian waters hauling lumber and being used for smuggling operations in the Adriatic.  Over the years she was converted to a motorized ship with most of her sailing rig removed.

In 1974 the Galveston Historical Foundation purchased her as a restoration project to complement the Strand Historic District.  Galveston would once again have her in port.  She was also one of the few surviving square-riggers in the world and the oldest listed in the Lloyd’s of London Registry of Shipping.

In December 1978 the ship began the voyage to Galveston when she was towed to Gibraltar. On June 25, 1979, she was towed out of Gibraltar and set sail for Texas.  She arrived off Galveston on July 20. A dockside celebration was held in Galveston on August 4 to honor the arrival.

In the next three years the Elissa underwent a complete restoration, under direction of David Brink, which included extensive hull repair and new masts, yards, rigging, and sails, as well as a new deck and new deck houses.  Restoration was largely complete by July 4, 1982, when she was formally opened as a tourist attraction. On Labor Day of that year, the Elissa also sailed again as a full-rigged ship on sea trials off Galveston in the Gulf of Mexico.

The Elissa by Don Scafidi available at http://www.elissa.org.

Ted Cruz for President – of the Republic of Texas

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) has clearly demonstrated that he is the Alpha Dog of Texas politics.  All other pretenders be warned.  As Cruz continues to rack up Texas endorsements and haul in huge bags of money from the swells, it is now evident that Ted Cruz and the Ted Cruz Experience will be guiding the ship of state in Texas for the foreseeable future.  If the Texas GOP’s dream of an independent Texas standing tall as a shining beacon of radical (and generally unpopular if you actually dig into the issues) Cruz-style conservatism is every realized, then the one man to lead us there is none other than your Junior Senator from Canada (errr Texas) Ted Cruz.

Stand aside John Cornyn – keep looking all distinguished and silvery – but stand aside and let a better man lead us into the abyss.

Be quiet Dan Patrick – okay, that’s an impossible request, but at least recognize that you are on the second string and aren’t playing until garbage time.

Move over Greg Abbott – but keep doing whatever it is that you are doing, which frankly appears to be nothing much at all.

Watch out George P. Bush – wherever you are.

Stay where you are Kevin Brady – no one knows who you are anyway.

Go home Jerry Patterson – a voice of moderation will have no place in the new glorious Republic.

Keep your head down Ken Paxton – even Cruz might want you in jail.

The Sinking Ship that is JEB!!!!$$$$?

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Red never likes to predict the demise of a particular political campaign, but a strong stench of failure is starting to emanate from the halls of the JEB!!!!$$$$? campaign.   First, JEB!!!!$$$$? announces that he is cutting back on staff, taking some campaign workers off of payroll, and cutting spending by almost half.  Then JEB!!!!$$$$? futilely lashes out again at an apparently Teflon-encrusted Trump making himself even more of punching bag for The Donald.  Then he dashes back to Texas to consult with Mom and Dad and big Bubba – the same Mom who said the country had had enough of the Bushes – or words to that effect, and the same big Bubba whose presidency set a new standard for failure that few could aspire to match.  Words of advice – always listen to Mom and ignore big Bubba.  And now the latest polls show that JEB!!!!$$$$? is in 4th place in Florida – his adopted home state where he was actually Governor for two terms – behind Trump, Carson and Rubio.  Apparently the good voters of the Sunshine State know a bad thing when they see one and the JEB!!!!$$$$? campaign cannot be characterized as anything other than incompetent and awful at this point.  But Red remembers 2008 when a battered and bruised John McCain limped into the New Year and then destroyed the competition – before the utter incompetency of the W. Bush administration ended any chance he had to win the general election.  Red doesn’t think JEB!!!!$$$$? has McCain’s fighting chops, but it’s too early to write anyone off that is still polling above a dead man or Rick Perry.

Today in Texas History – October 26

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From the Annals of the State Fair –  In 1930, the first football game was played at the Cotton Bowl at the Fair Park in Dallas.  SMU beat Indiana 27-0 to record the first win in the newly constructed stadium.  The 46,000-seat stadium was on the site of the former 15,000 seat Fair Park Football Stadium.  For more than 75 years, the stadium was the site of its namesake Cotton Bowl Classic which pitted the Southwest Conference champion against another highly ranked team on New Year’s Day.  The Cotton Bowl was the site of several of the “mythical” national championship games including UT’s victory over Notre Dame to claim the title in 1969.  The stadium was renovated extensively in 1949 increasing seating to 75,504. The Cotton Bowl was home to the short-lived Dallas Texans of the NFL in 1952, the Dallas Texans (now the Kansas City Chiefs) of the AFL from 1960 to 1962, and the Dallas Cowboys from 1960 to 1970. The stadium was renovated again in 1994 in preparation for World Cup games.  The venerable stadium was renovated again in the last decade to further increase its capacity.  The Cotton Bowl still hosts the annual Texas-OU game and the Ticket City Bowl.

Why did this guy ever get to start an NFL game?

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The Houston Chronicle reports that back up quarterback Ryan Malllet missed the team flight to Miami for today’s game.  Mallet has shown nothing to indicate that he has the mental capacity to lead a professional football team.  Red posits that the Texans would be at least 3-3 if Brian Hoyer had just been given the reins.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 7

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“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.”

Mark Viduka

Just guessing that Mark didn’t score so well on the math portion of the SAT.

Red Rates Himself – Last week 4-2. For the season 27-9. Polite applause, thank you.

Red is going to have to be quick this week.

Your Losing Every Game Pick of the Week: Vikings over Lions. Sadly, we will not have an 0-16 team this season. Red believes that kind of purge is good for the collective soul of the league, kind of an exemplar of failure, a milepost of ineptitude, a glimpse into the bottomless abyss of failure. But the Lions were the last hope, so the best we can hope for now is 1-15, with maybe a 2-14 the most likely outcome. Vikings meanwhile are rounding towards mediocrity. Minnesota minus 2 is a good bet, if you having a serious gambling addiction and have to bet on a game that no one cares about. Minnesota 24 Detroit 17.

Your Big Loser Pick of the Week: Giants over Cowboys. Winner is at least in the passenger seat in the NFC East. Loser is getting drug behind the car over 2 miles of rough pavement. The Cowboys are rumored to actually have a professional quarterback ready to play. The Giants have a guy that has won 2 Superb Owls. You pick it. New Jersey 27 Arlington 19.

Your Winners Pick of the Week: Jets over Patriots. Yep, you are thinking – Red what the hell are you smoking now? Red’s high on the pure vapor coming off the Fitzpatrick express. Red thinks Fitz is having that career year and what better way to show it than to knock off the Champs in New England back home in front of some old Crimson men. Hey, you wanna toke? Red can’t feel his nose. At 48, take the over for a ride. New Jersey 42 New England 33.

You’re Math Major Pick of the Week: Falcons over Titans. Bet the over and the under, bet on the Falcons and the Titans, bet on the coin toss, bet on the number of holding penalties, bet on the number of missed field goals, bet on the punters, bet on anything that anyone will take a bet on, but just bet. Bet on Red not giving a rat’s ass about who wins this one.  Atlanta 17 Tennessee 3.

Your Why Bother Pick of the Week: Texans over Dolphins. Not often does the Shit Bowl feature two teams coming off wins, but Red has to shake things up every now and then. Hard rain predicted for Casa Red on Sunday and he might just go sit on the porch and get soaked rather than watch this turgid turd tussle. Houston 29 Miami 24 Pittsburgh 21.

Your Red is Out of Ideas Pick of the Week: Eagles over Panthers. Panthers do not deserve to be undefeated. ‘Nuff said. Take the Eagles and 3. Oh yeah, and this is your NFL Game of the Week. Philadelphia 38 Carolina 35.

“Texas” Means Crazy in Norway

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Texas has entered the popular vernacular in Norway – but perhaps not in a good way.  Huff Post Weird News reports that Texas is considered so bonkers that it has come to be used as a term for  “crazy” among Norwegian hipsters.

Texas is so nuts it’s become synonymous with “crazy” in Norway, according to a Tumblr thread discussing use of the word first reported on by Texas Monthly.

 

The pub compiled multiple instances of Norwegian speakers using the word online, including a police chief describing a situation concerning reckless foreign truck drivers as, roughly translated, “absolutely Texas” and a story about a fisherman’s uncommon swordfish sighting being, also roughly translated, “totally Texas.”

Today in Texas History – October 23

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From the Annals of the Loyal Unionists –  In 1863, the First Texas Cavalry left New Orleans as part of a campaign to occupy south Texas and interfere with trade between the Confederacy and Mexico.  The Rio Grande expedition landed on the south Texas coast on November 2 and occupied Brownsville four days later.  The First Texas Cavalry included 16 officers and 205 enlisted men, but grew quickly added more than 100 new soldiers within a month.  During this time the Second Texas Cavalry Regiment was formed at Brownsville. Both regiments left Texas in July 1864 for Louisiana. Two companies, however, of the First Texas Cavalry remained at Brownsville and did not rejoin their parent regiment until six months later.  The First Texas was part of a little known Texas effort to support the Union.   A total of 1,915 men from Texas served the Union.  The Texas Union soldiers were primarily of Mexican heritage, German Unionists from the Hill Country or first generation Irish immigrants – all of whom were opposed to slavery.

Chris Bell for Mayor

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Red is endorsing Chris Bell for Mayor of Houston.  As this is Red’s first ever public endorsement, he does not make it lightly.  Chris has dedicated a good portion of his career to improving the lives of Texas citizens as a Houston City Council Member, a U.S. Congressman and an excellent attorney.  When elected, Chris will work for a more efficient and responsive government, equal rights for all, a cleaner environment, reductions in waste, increasing parks and greenspace, better public transportation and reducing congestion.  But above all, Chris is just a really bright, funny and engaging person who will be a tremendous representative for Houston throughout Texas, the U.S. and the World.  Please consider voting for Chris Bell for Mayor.