Soccer Heaven Right Now

For the dedicated soccer/futbol fan, these are heady days.  Right now there are three major tournaments in progress: the Women’s World Cup in France,  CONMEBOL’s Copa America in Brazil and CONCACAF’s Gold Cup in the U.S (with games also in Jamaica and Costa Rica).  So the World and two continents will crown their champions in the next few weeks.  Red was out of action for the start of the tournaments but will be forthcoming with predictions once the brackets for the elimination rounds are set.

Quotes for the Day

“Texans aren’t interested in typical career politicians, like Sen. Cornyn, who sell them out to corporate donors and powerful special interest. During his 17 years in Washington, Cornyn’s true legacy is being Mitch McConnell’s ‘yes man,’ leading the efforts to shred protections for over 4.5 million Texans with preexisting conditions, and playing a critical role in pushing for a tax bill that added over $2 trillion to the national debt and threatens Medicare and Social Security all while enriching big corporations who have donated over $9 million dollars to him throughout his political career.”

MJ Hegar, Democratic Candidate for U.S. Senate.

“We are, I think, no longer the reliably red state we have been.We are at risk of turning purple. And if we don’t do our job, then we could turn blue in the coming years.”

Sen. John Cornyn.

In Cornyn’s amazing rise from District Court Judge in San Antonio, to Texas Supreme Court Justice, to Attorney General, to U.S. Senator, he has never lost a race . Cornyn was smart in benefitting from a distinguished and calm manner, hoovering up cash from right-wing donors, and riding a historic red tide that swept Texas beginning with George Bush’s election in 1988.  As long as he could outfox the other Republicans in his way, his general elections have been cakewalks.  But JC now seems worried about 2020 with Trumph – the Insult Comic President – on the ballot just over his name.  Will voters who reject Trump just keep on rejecting Republicans down the ballot with Big John first in line?   Cornyn spent his first few years in the Senate focused on critical issues like flag burning and promoting religious bigotry and he seemed fairly harmless.  But he is now part of the entrenched GOP power structure in DC and can be frequently seen licking the boots of Mitch McConnell when he is not praising the glorious leader.

The GOP Solution to Gun Violence – More Guns

Our Poor Idiot Governor Gregg Abbott signed some new guns laws this week.  Texas gun lovers will be glad to know a few new things they can do with their favorite toys:

  1. For a full week after a natural disaster strikes, you can now openly or sneakily carry a handgun.  Before you could only tote around your rifle, shotgun or Chinese made A-47 (When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf#(ker in the room – with apologies to Q. Tarentino).  Red supposes this is supposed to allow folks to protect their property from looters.  So great idea here – have a bunch of tired, upset and totally stressed out people who are grieving over the possible loss of family, friends and stuff armed and dangerous and licensed to kill.  What could possibly go wrong?
  2. Landlords can no longer ban guns in their apartment complexes.  Red was once sitting in his friend’s apartment when the gun nuts next door accidentally discharged a .44 through the wall right next to where Red was sitting.  They came running around in a panic with the exclamation, “We f#(ked up, man!” To which Red replied, “No shit!” Apartment walls will not stop a bullet.  The stray one that very nearly took out young Red went through 3 walls.  Brilliant legislating here.
  3. Places of worship will now have to post the standard (and overly complicated) notice to ban guns from their premises.  Red for one can’t wait to attend services at the Holy Ghost House of Prayer and Rifle Range.   Our Father (Bam!), who art in Heaven (Bang!), hallowed be thy Glock (K-zing). Thy Smith&Wesson come (Boom!). Thy will be done on Earth as it is in the holy rifle range (Ackackackackack!).  Give us this day our daily round of ammo (armor piercing please), and forgive us our missed targets (Zing!) as we forgive those who don’t load properly, and lead us not into poor marksmanship (Kboom), but deliver us from Commie gun haters (Bam, Bam!).

Trumph (the Insult Comic President) Speaks – Red Translates

They were fake polls (you know the ones I previously claimed did not exist – well they actually exist but since they don’t look very good they must be fake under the irrefutable formula:  Makes me look bad = Fake!!) that were released by somebody (my treasonous paid pollsters apparently) that is — it’s ridiculous.  They’re giving out phony polls (phony, fake, whatever – I would consult a thesaurus if I knew what that was).  These are polls (that we have (yeah, the ones that previously did not exist), that nobody saw (like my tax returns). We do very little polling (just a daily poll or two – three on the weekends) because I’m not a huge believer in polling (except that Rasmussen fellow who is almost always wrong)… But we have some internal polling (bigly strong within the family)— very little — and it’s unbelievably strong (mostly because it’s unbelievable). The strongest I’ve ever been is exactly today (because you know – once a con man, always a con man).

Red is Back

It’s been a turbulent couple of months and Red has been more than a little bit distracted by the business of life.  That shows no real signs of letting up any time soon, but Red needs to vent on occasion and this blog (albeit lightly followed) serves as a much needed bleed-off valve.  So buckle up cowboys, Red is back.

Adios, Mr. Conway

Mchale'S Navy From Left Ernest Borgnine Claudine Longet ...

Red is a bit behind the times, but he was saddened by the passing of Tim Conway.  Red’s first exposure to the comedian was in his role as Ensign Charles “Chuck” Parker on McHale’s Navy.  He was the perfect comedic foil for the great Ernest Borgnine and never failed to make Red laugh.  It was especially funny to watch his awkwardness around love interest Yvette Gerard (played by Claudine Longet) a French woman from a nearby island.   Conway won 6 Emmys (four for his work on the Carol Burnett Show) including one for writing.  Most of all, he seemed like a nice guy.  Red is sometimes slow on the uptake and never really though about the fact that Conway and Borgnine were reunited in a nautical way in their roles as Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy on the animated series SpongeBob SquarePants.

Quote for the Day

“[T]here is virtually nothing, no matter how crazy, that you can’t get about 18 percent of Americans to support if they’re in a bad enough mood. In the spring of 2011, 17 percent of likely Republican primary voters said that thought it would be a good idea to nominate Donald Trump for president.”

Gail Collins, from As Texas Goes . . . published in 2012.

Collins was discussing the fact that about 18 percent of Texans expressed support for secession in 2009.  The craziest example she could come up with to demonstrate how a segment of the American population will support just about anything was the idea of Donald Trump as a presidential candidate.  Sorry Gail, you totally and completely underestimated the craziness of the American public.

Image result for alerthouston billboards

Big-time Plaintiffs’ attorney and political wannabe Tony Buzbee is running for mayor of Houston and already he is doing what he does best to win – suing people.  Buzbee claims that billboards with a public safety announcement for AlertHouston (which issues emergency alerts) featuring a photo of incumbent mayor Sylvester Turner are really an illegal campaign contribution allegedly paid for by Clear Channel in violation of Texas election law.  Although Buzbee claims he is not accepting campaign contributions, the lawsuit may be his way of funding the campaign as he is seeking damages of $5 million as well as attorney’s fees and injunctive relief.  Buzbee claims the billboards are campaign contributions disguised as “non-reported corporate ‘donations.’” Buzbee’s petition states:

“These billboards are directly meant to influence the outcome of this upcoming mayoral election by means of public advertising.  . . . The billboards are obviously aimed at gaining support for current mayor Sylvester Turner regarding the health and safety of the city.”

Stay tuned for further developments.

 

Today in Texas History – April 16

Amor Prohibido - Wikipedia

From the Annals of Tejana Musica –  In 1971, Tejana superstar Selena Quintanilla Perez was born in Lake Jackson.  She was a Tejano superstar and attracted the then largest crowd in Astrodome history during the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo in 1994. Her 1992 album Entre a Mi Mundo made her the first Tejana to sell more than 300,000 albums.  Her 1995 album Dreaming of You hit number one on the national Billboard Top 100 the week it was released.  Tragically, her career was cut short when she was shot by the founder of her first fan club on March 31, 1995 just as Selena was on the verge of becoming a huge crossover star.