Tag Archives: Texas Politics

Preview of Donald Trump’s Speech in Texas

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Red cannot reveal his sources, but he has obtained a copy of the speech Donald Trump intends to deliver at his fund-raising events in Dallas, San Antonio, Houston and The Woodlands over the next two days.

Thank you, thank you for that great reception.  Thank you.  But really doesn’t a great person like me deserve a great reception.  Please stop.  You know, Joe Stalin had a policy that at his speeches the first person who stopped clapping would be taken out and shot.  Great idea, but you don’t really need that kind of incentive here in [insert city] to keep applauding for me.

First of all, let me make this clear. I don’t need your money.  I could win this race without spending a dime.  I don’t really want your money, but if you don’t spend it on my campaign, you might do something stupid with it like spending it on a worthless night school program that makes ridiculous promises and fails to deliver  –  like Hillary.  So since you are here, a check would be nice.  That is if you have anything left over after backing that Canadian loser Ted Cruz.

So let’s talk about winning.  You know I love winning.  I won a bunch of primaries and would have won more if that Canadian loser Ted Cruz had dropped out before I pummeled him into the dirt  – like I’ll do to Hillary.  There is going to be a lot of winning, victories, endzone dances and other celebrations.   I know you are tired of hearing me tell you that you will be tired of winning – but you will be tired – dog tired.  You will be as tired of winning as that Canadian loser Ted Cruz is tired of losing.  Ask him.  Hang around – he’ll be cleaning the toilets in the Men’s room after this speech.

So let’s talk about the Muslims – and I don’t mean Obama – even though he clearly is a Muslim, socialist, terrorist-sympathizer.  And you, know people – and I mean the worthless leftwing media –  say I am accusing the president of being a traitor.  Well let’s call a spade a spade – no pun intended.  I mean what has Obama done to take down ISIS other than bomb the shit out of them and kill off most of their leaders.  How weak can you get.   Those raghead, camel jockey, dune coons won’t know what hit them once I am president.

And here in Texas, you all know about the border.  I will build that wall and who will pay for it  [wait for it].  That’s right.  Of course, I won’t tell you how that is going to work and you’re just going to have to trust me here.  But that wall is going to be built and we are going to throw all of the murdering, raping, thieving illegal aliens over that wall and set up a free fire zone along the border.  You come across the wall – you get shot – think of Berlin in the 1960’s.  Who wants to shoot an illegal alien?   Yeah!

And what happened in Orlando – all because of our weak-kneed President who let this killer be born in our country.  It’s sad.  Because you know I love the gays.  I thought about being gay myself – but you’ve seen my wife.  Get real.  Like I’m going to let some leathered up dude poke me when I could be stupping that?  But I do love and respect the gays.  Where do you think I got this hair?

So when you go to bed tonight Texas, pray for me and for our country – but mostly for me – because without me this country is headed straight down the shit pipe.  Good night [insert city here] and God Bless!

Did Greg Abbott Kill Lawsuit Against Trump U?

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After documents were released pursuant to a open records request, it was revealed that the Texas Attorney General’s office had determined that Trump University was a scam worthy of pursuit under the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act.  But now the Dallas Morning News reveals that a potential lawsuit against good ol’ Trump U was scuttled by none other than Our Poor Idiot Governor Greg Abbott.  Did Abbott – who was not shy about suing the federal government when he was AG – stop action against Donald Trump?  And did he get his reward in the form of campaign contributions from the self-proclaimed billionaire?

According to a DMN investigation, plans for the lawsuit and settlement negotiations had been carefully prepared; the AG’s office was ready to take action  and was looking at damages of at least $5.4 million for the violations – at least until the plan was killed by Abbott.

John Owens, the former deputy chief of the AG’s consumer protection division smells something rotten in the decision to let Trump skate after fleecing Texas consumers for millions of dollars.

“It was swept under the rug, and the consumers were left with no one to go to bat for them,” according to Owens who also claimed that the decision to not sue Trump was clearly political.  His consumer protection division routinely got approval to sue schools who offered bogus diplomas.  The only difference in this case was Trump’s status as a political player.

And what was the payoff for Greg Abbott?  A few years later, Trump donated $35,000 to Abbott’s gubernatorial campaign.  Other sources are reporting that Florida AG Pam Bondi dropped her office’s investigation and refused to join in a lawsuit against Trump just days after receiving a $25,000 campaign contribution from Trump.

So now we know just about exactly how much Texas consumers can be bought and sold for.  It’s a little more expensive than in Florida, but not much.

What Greg Abbott’s Office Had to Say about Trump University

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Our Poor Idiot Governor Greg Abbott has resoundingly endorsed Donald Trump for President of these United States.  But when his office investigated good ol’ Trump U back in 2010, it reached the conclusion that the whole scheme was a scam designed to fleece the gullible.   The Texas Attorney General Office’s investigation of deceptive trade practices at Trump University determined that the promises made to students were “virtually impossible to achieve.”

In the documents unearthed by a Democratic super PAC American Bridge 21st Century, Assistant Attorney General Rick Berlin stated that Trump University seminars  targeted real estate novices and promised “to teach these novices everything they need to know to be a successful residential real estate broker — in 3 days.”  But Berlin also noted, that in Texas, “to become licensed as a real estate broker you must have 900 hours of classroom instruction and 2 years selling experience.” Berlin also concluded that the information provided to students by Trump University “is essentially unusable,” and students “will be unable to recoup their investment in the course, much less make a profit, as promised by Trump U.  .  . . In addition to encouraging unlicensed activity (which is a misdemeanor in Texas), the course materials in a number of respects are simply wrong under Texas law.”

Apparently the AG’s investigation was enough to drive the Trump U hucksters out of Texas as the “University” stopped doing business in Texas shortly afterwards.

So kudos to OPIG for having driven a con man out of the state.  So exactly why does he want to bring him back now?  Does Red smell a vice-presidential hope in the air?

Hillary Claims She Can Win Texas

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Politico reports that Hillary Clinton thinks that Texas is in play in the November general election.   According to  interview with Rebecca Traister of New York Magazine, Clinton has indicated that “If black and Latino voters come out and vote, we could win Texas.”

Here is a list of ten Texas things that Red thinks are more likely to happen than Hillary winning ultra-Red Texas in November:

  1. LBJ rises from the dead to reclaim control of the Democratic party.
  2. Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick wears make-up and dress -insists on using Ladies room.
  3. The Texas Supreme Court rules against an insurance company.
  4. Mary Lou Bruner commits herself to lunatic asylum.
  5. Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller gives up cupcakes – loses 75 lbs.
  6. Land Commissioner George P. Bush figures out that the laws apply to him too.
  7. The Rio Grande reverses course – flows backwards to Colorado.
  8. Trump builds wall – Mexico pays.
  9. Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) decides to not run for President in 2020.
  10. Brownsville freezes over.

 

Ken Paxton – Vexatious Litigant (cont.)

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Embattled Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton just can’t help himself from continuing to waste taxpayer dollars on important issues like who gets to pee where.  One might think that Paxton was merely trying to draw attention away from his own considerable legal woes – but then one would be a small petty-minded type of person – like Red.

But the chances that Paxton would shy away from the most important legal and moral issue of the day, involving – as Red so crudely puts it – which hole gets to go in which hole, were slim to none.  Apparently there is not a single action of the federal government that Paxton does not feel up to challenge – at least until another Bush becomes President.  Paxton reflexively must challenge anything that might possible offend or cause the slightest consternation amongst his Tea Party followers – all the while maintaining his innocence in the face of what the legal experts refer to as “pretty damn good evidence” that he himself is the real lawbreaker.   Thus despite the lack of a shred of evidence that allowing the various varieties of our transgendered Texans to decide where they would like to evacuate their various by-products of human existence has endangered anyone or caused any of the Baptist women to cry “Oh, my!”, Paxton bravely soldiers on in the belief that only he knows best and that the very fate of the constitutional republic hangs in the balance on his briefs (no pun intended).

Red for one expresses no opinion (as yet) on the constitutionality of the Obama administration’s rule on bathroom equality.  What is clear, however, is that Paxton and ilk truly believe that this is the issue that will re-ignite the Tea Party movement (not just their bowels) and lead them back to national prominence in the wake of seeing their influence eviscerated by Donald Trump’s emergence (from the anus of the political sphere).  The right must have a bogeyman – real or imagined – and fear is the only thing they know how to properly manipulate into a position of power.  If not the Red Menace washing upon our shores, or the Hippies destroying our social fabric, or the Welfare Queens taking us to the cleaners, or Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll corrupting our youth anymore, then there must be a new cause.  And with the so-called War on Terror falling out of fashion after a sort, what can the denizens of the right latch onto now.  Aha, bathroom safety.  The terrifying image of a grizzled child molester tarted up in a chemise and sporting some f*#k me pumps coming in to the Women’s room to terrorize Ted Cruz’s daughters will certainly get the base riled up.  Except maybe enough Americans are not quite stupid enough to believe such nonsense.  And no one will ever accuse Ken Paxton of not being stupid enough.

Ken Paxton – Vexacious Litigant

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Embattled Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton just can’t avoid the spotlight – or perhaps thinks that getting his office involved in a matter that doesn’t concern the State of Texas will divert the people’s attention from his own legal problems.  This time, Paxton is using Texas taxpayer money to intervene in a lawsuit on behalf of Exxon-Mobil – an outfit that typically is thought capable of carrying its own legal water.

The U.S. Virgin Islands’ Attorney General, Claude Walker, is seeking documents from Exxon related to an investigation into whether the energy giant covered up its internal investigation into climate change and misled shareholders about the impact of climate change on the company’s bottom line.  In that regard, the USVI issued a subpoena.  Exxon sued in Tarrant County district court seeking to quash the subpoena.  Paxton’s office filed a brief in support of Exxon.  Paxton decried the USVI’s attorney general’s investigation as “ridiculous” and a “fishing expedition of the worst kind.”  Kowtowing to his base in prototypical TeaPartySpeak, Paxton described the subpoena as “an effort to punish Exxon for daring to hold an opinion on climate change that differs from that of radical environmentalists.”

Red could probably not care less about whether Exxon has to cough up some documents or whether it was less than forthcoming with respect to its investigations into climate change.  Red does care about the limited resources of the Texas AG’s office being used for blatantly political purposes and to help line the coffers of Paxton’s re-election campaign fund.  Paxton was a major recipient of donations from the energy industry and his intervention in this matter in the week before Exxon’s annual shareholders’ meeting seems just a little too coincidental.  Texas has had some pathetic excuses for an AG before, but Paxton is putting the bar so low that no future AG will ever be able to limbo under it.

Red is For Secession – of the GOP

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Today Texas Republicans will debate and vote on whether Texas should secede from the United States.  While the chances are slim that there are enough certifiably insane delegates to the GOP convention to pass a secession resolution, Red can’t wait to hear the arguments for it.  The less bat-shit crazy wing of the GOP wants nothing to do with this nonsense as they are too busy worrying about which bathroom someone might decide to use or that some woman somewhere in Texas might actually exercise her right to obtain an abortion or that minorities might be able to vote or that school textbooks don’t sufficiently laud the many benefits of slavery in the Old South.  But actual secession – once a topic only for the lunatic fringe –  is now within the mainstream for many of the GOP faithful.

In Red’s humble opinion, the resolution needs only a minor modification to make it palatable.  If the GOP wants to secede from Texas, Red is all for it.  They can have Dallas, East Texas and Midland-Odessa.

Attention Independent Candidates – Time’s Up in Texas

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The deadline for independent candidates to get on the ballot in Texas passed yesterday without any action.  An independent presidential candidate would have had to present petitions with almost 80,000 signatures of registered voters who did not participate in either the Democratic or Republican primary in March.  No one stepped up to fill that tall order and the likelihood of a conservative candidate making a credible run for president without being on the ballot in the biggest, most conservative state of all is very small indeed.

Texas Voter ID Law Ripped Apart

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Texas has the strictest Voter ID law in the U.S. despite there being no evidence of voter fraud to prevent.  As Red has said repeatedly, anyone who knows anything about elections knows that the mail-in ballots are the most likely place for voter hanky-panky and the Voter ID law does nothing about that problem.  The law is clearly designed by a Tea Party dominated Legislature to do nothing other than keep as many poor folks and minorities as possible from voting.  It is about the most shameless act of political pandering that Red has ever witnessed and it seems like to fail once the Fifth Circuit rules in Veasey v. Abbot.   But don’t take it from Red.  In a recent article, The Economist destroys the basis for the law and takes down criminally indicted Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton for his pathetic defense of the basis for the law as well.   

From 2000 to 2015, according to the New York Times, the 2011 voter-ID law could have prevented “no more than three or four infractions” qualifying as voter fraud. Yet Mr Paxton insists the rules are necessary to “safeguard the integrity of our elections process” and are “essential to preserving our democracy”. Judges have found quite the opposite. When the law was first challenged in federal district court in the weeks before the 2014 election, Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos struck it down as a violation of the 1st, 14th, 15th and 24th amendments. In her 147-page opinion, Judge Ramos noted “a clear and disturbing pattern of discrimination in the name of combating voter fraud in Texas”. Blacks and Latinos, she noted, are much more likely to lack the required identification and thus would be disproportionately roped out of the voting booth. The Texas law, she concluded, “not only had the effect of discriminating against minorities, but was designed to do so” and constituted a “poll tax”.