Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 9

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Red was 3-3 last week and stands at 29-19 for the season.  Red laid off the money line last week and will do that again this week.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia.  The last time no NFL games were on TV was Sunday November 24, 1963.  All the games were played that week.  However, all of the networks were carrying wall to wall coverage of the assassination of Pres. Kennedy and its aftermath.  Commissioner Pete Rozelle called the decision to play games that Sunday the worst mistake of his career.

This Week’s Trivia Question:  Since the merger in 1970, which NFL team has won the most regular season and playoff games?

Your Winning Percentage Pick of the Week: Bills over Jets.  The Bills continue to surprise everyone – especially Red.  A bold move this week in picking up Kelvin Benjamin to shore up a weak WR corps shows that the Bills mean business about winning this season.  Bills will continue to win if ground game stays alive and passing game comes alive – even with a sad sack defense.  Jets, Shcmets.  Orchard Park 23 New Jersey 14.

Your Merger Pick of the Week: Falcons over Panthers.  The two biggest disappointments in the league match up here.  Ennui reigns.  Atlanta 13 Carolina 12.

Your Old AFL Team Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Cowboys.  A nice matchup of two teams that both used to play in Dallas.  Chiefs had enough sense to move far far away from Big D.  Will Ezekiel E. play?  Cowboys have yet to beat a good team with wins over Cards, Giants, Redskins and Niners.  Chiefs already have quality wins over Pats, Eagles and Texans (sort of).  Take the team that can beat a good team.  KC 35 Arlington 24

Your League Switching Pick of the Week: Texans over Colts.  If they can’t beat the Colts, the Texans need to pack it in and let the World Series Champion Houston Astros have all of the limelight.  Houston 45 Indianapolis 12

Your Old NFL Team Pick of the Week: Eagles over Broncos.  Eagles are Red’s team of destiny.  Broncos are reduced to starting Brock Osweiler.  Red actually expects BO to play decently, but not decently enough to overtake the red hot Eagles.  Philadelphia 32 Denver 25

Your Merge This Out Pick of the Week: Niners over Cardinals.  This week’s Shit Bowl is especially stinky with the crippled Cards taking on the hapless Niners.  The word is that Jimmy Garrapolo will not play after being cast aside like a used condom by the Patriots and banished to the land of the lost on the West Coast.  Red thinks he plays and takes the bit in his teeth.  Santa Clara 17 Arizona 3.

Today in Texas History – October 30

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From the Annals of the Big Thicket –  In 1984,President Ronald Reagan signed a bill that established five wilderness areas in East Texas. The five were the Big Slough Wilderness Area, Indian Mounds Wilderness Area, Little Lake Creek Wilderness Area, Turkey Hill Wilderness Area and Upland Island Wilderness Area.  Red fondly remembers the time when Republicans at least used to pretend that they gave a damn about the environment.

Stupid Quote of the Day

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“College football is grateful to Iowa State for knocking off TCU.”

Accidentally overheard by Red from Dan Patrick – sports radio and TV giant ego and empty suit.  The absolute worst of the worst in the sports broadcasting world.  Why anyone listens to this moron is beyond Red.  TCU was one of the best stories of the year and just fell short against this season’s giant killers – Iowa State.

Top Ten Reasons Joe Strauss is Not Running for Reelection as Speaker?

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Texas House Speaker Joe Strauss of San Antonio has announced that he will not seek reelection in 2018.  JS has been thought to be the last bastion of sanity in the Texas Republican Party that has prevented the lunatics from running the asylum.  There has been speculation on Strauss’ motives, but as usual Red has the real skinny.

No. 1 – Not having to deal with Our Poor Idiot Governor Abbott and Light Gov. Patrick will be very much like stopping hitting himself in the head with a hammer.

No. 2 –  Tea Parties are just not very much fun anymore.

No. 3 – More time in Vegas Baby Vegas!

No. 4 – Bipartisanship is so 20th Century.

No. 5 – Finally realized that Republicans really want a “Christian Conservative” not a Texas Jewboy (with apologies to Kinky Freedman).

No. 6 –   He’s made it damn near impossible to get an abortion in much of the state, defunded Planned Parenthood, pushed through a discriminatory Voter ID bill – and yet it’s still all about who gets to pee where.

No. 7 –   Some of his best friends are Democrats like Donald Trump used to be.

No. 8 – Joe Strauss, Texas Moderate pilot will be coming out next summer.  An exciting action/adventure show featuring JS drinking iced tea and attempting to have polite conversations with people.

No. 9 – Will be writing treatise on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and has completed his research.

No. 10 – Embarrassed to be called a Republican in the Age of Trump.

Today in Texas History – October 27

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From the Annals of the Plains – In 1873, Joseph Glidden of DeKalb, IL submitted an application to the U.S. Patent Office for barbed wire.  Glidden’s was not the first barbed wire.  His design was inspired by seeing an exhibit of Henry Rose’s single-stranded barbed wire at the De Kalb county fair. Glidden’s design significantly improved on Rose’s by using two strands of wire twisted together to hold the barbed spur wires firmly in place.  The design was also easily mass-produced. By 1880 more than 80 million pounds of inexpensive Glidden-style barbed wire was sold, making it the most popular wire in the nation. Ranchers and farmers quickly discovered that Glidden’s wire was the cheapest, strongest, and most durable way to fence their property.

Astros Win World Series Game

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It only took 56 seasons and 11 post-season appearances, but the Houston Astros finally won a World Series game.  Things were looking grim with the Astros trailing 3-1 and All-World Dodger closer Kenley Jansen taking the mound in the 8th inning.  But Jansen allowed a RBI single to Carlos Correa in the 8th and then a dramatic game-tying solo shot by Marwin Gonzales in the 9th for his first blown save of the season.

The Hated Dodgers were unblemished in 98 games this season when leading after the 8th inning.  But on Wednesday night, the Astros high-powered offense finally got to the LA bullpen scoring six runs in the last 4 innings of the game.

“Kenley’s the best in the game. He’s kind of got us spoiled and we expect him to be automatic. But he’s human, and he made a mistake,” outfielder Enrique Hernandez said.

Today in Texas History – October 26

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Image result for lightning 11 "f 35"

From the Annals of the Military-Industrial Complex –  In 2001, Lockheed Martin won a $200 billion contract for the production of the “Joint Strike Fighter” jet.  The 40 year deal was the largest defense contract in history.   After a competition between the Boeing X-32 and the LM X-35, a final design was chosen based on the X-35. This is the F-35 Lightning II which intended to replace numerous tactical aircraft in the U.S., Canadian and British armed forces. The most persuasive demonstration of the X-35’s capability was the final qualifying JSF flight trials, in which the LM X-35B prototype aircraft took off in less than 500 feet, went supersonic, and landed vertically – a feat that Boeing’s entry was unable to match.

Today in Texas History – October 25

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Image result for scott podsednik cards

From the Annals of World Series – In 2005, the first World Series game ever to be played in Texas started.  The Houston Astros played the Chicago White Sox at Minute Maid Field losing 7-5 in 14 innings.  The game was also the longest in World Series history lasting 5 hours and 41 minutes and actually ended on October 26.   The long game produced many all-time World Series records.  The teams combined to use 17 pitchers (9 White Sox and 8 Astros), throwing a total of 482 pitches, and walking 21 batters (12 by the WS, 9 by the Stros); 43 players were used (the White Sox used 22 and the Astros used 21), and 30 men were left on base (15 for each team). Scott Podsednik set an all-time record with eight at-bats in the game.

The Series itself was remarkable as the teams had combined for 132 years of championship frustration.  The Astros had not won in their 44 year history and the Pale Hose last championship had been in 1917.  The White Sox would go on to sweep the Astros in 4 games and break their long drought.

Beto O’Rourke for Senate

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Rep. Beto O’Rourke (D-El Paso) is the Democratic frontrunner to take on “Lying” Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) in 2018.  The Texas Observer has an long article on O’Rourke unorthodox campaign and background.  O’Rourke stands in stark contrast to the narcissistic, unlikeable and prickly Cruz who seems afraid to be in Texas right now as he has refused to hold a town hall meeting anywhere in the state for months.  O’Rourke on the other hand is rolling through Texas shaking hands and making friends.  Beto is still unlikely to unseat “Lying Ted”, but he just might make the smug and self-righteous Cruz sweat.  That would be worth the price of admission.

If you’re a Democrat and you find yourself running for statewide office in Texas, somewhere along the way you’ve made a wrong decision. A campaign is a two-year hell, and you have a very low chance of winning. If you lose badly, like Wendy Davis, your political life is probably over. Stay on the sidelines, like the Castro brothers, and your time may never come. Either way, you and your party lose. To run, and to commit to it seriously, requires either a sort of blindness to reality or a willingness to sacrifice for the greater good.O’Rourke has a bit of both. On the one hand, he has very little experience with state politics, having skipped from a seat on the El Paso City Council to Congress. He’s unfamiliar with the bitterness and cynicism that pervades party politics in the rest of the state.

But he also feels a certain urgency. Many people believe the whole system of American politics is breaking down, he says. “I know so many people who voted for Trump, and I say, ‘How could you do that? You live in El Paso. You don’t want a wall.’ They’re like, ‘No, I could give a shit about the wall. I just want somebody to blow that place up. That place is so fucked up and corrupted, and it is a swamp, and that’s the first guy who I know could care less about the system.’” In his own way, O’Rourke is trying to blow up the system, too. When he describes his reasons for doing so, it becomes clear that the campaign is a sort of personal crusade.

“I think that your successor 500 years from now is going to be writing about us the way that we write about the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages,” he tells me. “It’s just so corrupt, in the same way that they were selling bishoprics and indulgences to shorten your time in purgatory. We’re selling votes. We’re selling amendments. We’re selling democracy, and it’s absolutely disgusting. But what makes it even more fucked up is that everybody knows that it’s happening, but it’s just what has always happened for so long now that it’s all-encompassing in the system. No one seems really willing to do anything that will compromise their ability to be successful in that system by stepping out of it.”