Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Cruz Wins! Sort of . . .

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) won the GOP primary in the White People’s Republic of Idaho last night.  Everywhere else?  Not so much.  Trump’s impressive victories in Michigan and Mississippi show that he has support in highly diverse states.  Meanwhile, Cruz is demonstrating what a win in Iowa can do for a candidate.  Look what it did for Rick Santorum in 2012.  Without that initial victory, Cruz is likely long gone from the race.   Trump now has a clear path to victory.  Wins in Ohio and Florida will likely seal the deal for the billionaire bloviator.   The only question coming out of last night is will whiny Marco Rubio will hang on until he loses his home state and hurt his chances for the future, or pull out now to save face.

Why is Hilary Inevitable?

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The latest polling continues to show Sanders as the better general election candidate.   Of course, November is a long ways off and the Republicans have not started to throw dirt at Bernie yet.  But the numbers are troubling for Hilary.  If she loses to Cruz, the new blog will be Paradise in the Frozen North – because Red is moving to Canada.

General Election: Trump vs. Clinton CNN/ORC Clinton 52, Trump 44 Clinton +8
General Election: Trump vs. Sanders CNN/ORC Sanders 55, Trump 43 Sanders +12
General Election: Cruz vs. Clinton CNN/ORC Cruz 49, Clinton 48 Cruz +1
General Election: Cruz vs. Sanders CNN/ORC Sanders 57, Cruz 40 Sanders +17
General Election: Rubio vs. Clinton CNN/ORC Rubio 50, Clinton 47 Rubio +3
General Election: Rubio vs. Sanders CNN/ORC Sanders 53, Rubio 45 Sanders +8

The Republicans are Master-debaters

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Red is pretty damn sure that last night’s GOP debate is the first time that penis size has ever come up in a presidential debate.  The spirited repartee over the size of Donald Trump’s penis has generated some interesting and heretofore unprecedented headlines on the important topic of just how big our President’s dick should be.

From CNN – Donald Trump Defends Size of His Penis

From the International Business Times – Donald Trump Discusses Penis Size During Fox News Republican Debate

From HuffPo – Donald Trump Nearly Turns GOP Debate into Literal Dick-Measuring Contest

From patch.com – Who Won Thursday’s Republican Debate: Yoga, “Little Marco”, Penis Size

From Hollywood Life – Donald Trump Fires Back at Marco Rubio: “There is No Problem” with my Penis

Red thinks  the headline writers were challenged by this unusual development and failed to respond with their usual expertise.  Red also notes that Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) stayed out of the dick-swinging fray last night.  Does Ted have something to hide?

 

Mitt Speaks! No One Listens.

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Failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney spoke out against Donald Trump today.  Red translates for you.

If we Republicans (that means you Whitey) choose Donald Trump as our nominee (instead of a proven loser like me- for instance), the prospects for a safe and prosperous future are greatly diminished (who am I kidding? We’re all going to Hell in a hand basket unless they come to their senses and pick me again). 

Isn’t he a huge business success (I’m piker by comparison, really) and doesn’t he know what he’s talking about?  (insert dramatic pause here) No, he isn’t (I have it on good information from the Angel Moroni himself), and no he doesn’t (he never raped a company and its employees like I did).

He inherited his business (or a small fraction thereof). He didn’t create it (except most of it). And what ever happened to Trump Airlines  (of course, I only fly private – rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi in first class – how disgusting)? How about Trump University? And then there’s Trump Magazine (belly up in a dying industry) and Trump Vodka (not very good I hear- I swear on Brigham Young’s grave that I never tasted the stuff) and Trump Steaks (well those were good) and Trump Mortgage? A business genius he is not (but damn, I wish I had 1/10th of his net worth).

I know that some people (I’m talking about you Hillary) want the race to be over (but not me -surely the party will eventually wise up and realize that Joseph Smith’s  dream of Mormon hegemony can only be put in place when you nominate me again). They look at history (I made a C in American History only because I sat next to an ugly girl and copied her answers) and say a trend (that is, actual voters actually voting) like Mr. Trump’s isn’t going to be stopped. Perhaps (damn it all). But the rules of political history (white guys like me win) have pretty much all been shredded (like I was in 2012) during this campaign.

Donald Trump tells us that he is very, very smart (but not smart enough to buy companies, pillage them and fire everyone like I did – that fool actually creates jobs).  I’m afraid that when it comes to foreign policy he is very, very not smart. (I made a D in Freshman English – no available fat girls).

Think of Donald Trump’s personal qualities, the bullying (believe me I know about the bullying), the greed (that too), the showing off (wanna see my holy underwear?), the misogyny (we in the LDS know something about that one too), the absurd third grade theatrics (my theatrics were at least middle school level).  We have long referred to him as ‘The Donald.’ He is the only person in America to whom we have added an article before his name (okay  I know this is total bullshit -Ivana gave him that moniker, but it really sounds good – hmmm, “The High Priest Willard” has a certain ring to it). It wasn’t because he had attributes we admired (except when I got down on my knees and begged for his endorsement in 2012). 

 

 

 

Shame on Oklahoma (and Alaska).

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) won the Oklahoma primary with 34.4% of the vote followed by Donald Trump at 28.6%.  At least Texas has an excuse for letting him win the Texas primary (albeit with less than 44% of the vote – compare that to Bernie’s win in Vermont) as we are responsible for putting the irascible junior senator into the national spotlight (or more accurately the blame should be placed on the 631,136 GOP voters representing about 5% of the Texas electorate who decided that David Dewhurst was not conservative enough in the 2012 GOP runoff).  In other words, Ted may be a deceitful dirty trickster, but he is our deceitful dirty trickster.  Oklahoma has no such excuse.  And who knows what goes on in an Alaskan caucus?

More Bad News for Cruz

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The bad polling results in his home state keep piling up for Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas).  A SurveyUSA poll conducted for WFAA-TV in Dallas released on Wednesday shows Cruz and Donald Trump tied at 32% among likely and actual GOP primary voters.  The poll was taken after the South Carolina primary but before the results of the Nevada caucuses were known.  Cruz continues to poll well with self-described “very conservative” voters but is a walking disaster with moderates – getting on 18% support from that group.

In a very sick way, Red would like to see Cruz nominated because he believes that the Tea Party firebrand would go down in flames in a general election and likely never be heard from again as a serious candidate for president.  But even a remote chance of a Cruz victory is much too dangerous for this country.  However, if Cruz loses this go round, we undoubtedly have not heard the last from him.  That is, unless somehow Texas miraculously wakes up and boots him out of the Senate in 2018.  Not holding Red’s breath.

Bad News for Cruz

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The latest Texas poll shows Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) barely edging out Donald Trump with Marco Rubio nipping at all 4 heels.  The Emerson College Polling Society  poll of “likely primary voters” shows Cruz at 29%, Trump at 28% and Rubio with 25%.  For reasons Red will never fathom, Rubio has the highest favorability rating among Texas GOP voters at 64% with only 29% viewing the Florida senator unfavorably.  Cruz trails with 56% to 41% favorable/unfavorable ratio.  Trump brings up the rear among the frontrunners with a 45% to 50% favorable/unfavorable deficit.

If Cruz cannot carry Texas by a fairly wide margin, it’s time for the Junior Senator to hang up the “argument boots” and go back to doing the job that he was elected to do and apparently hates so much.   The only losers will be his colleagues in the Senate – not one of whom has seen fit to endorse the Tea Party firebrand .

Cruz the Big Loser in South Carolina

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Jonathan Tobin of Commentary explains why Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) and not Jeb!!!!$$$$? was the biggest loser coming out of South Carolina.

[T]he most decisive result in South Carolina was the blow dealt to Cruz’s campaign.

With its huge evangelical vote and a large number of veterans and conservatives of all stripes, South Carolina seemed to be a place that Cruz ought to win in much the same manner as his Iowa triumph. His ground game was the best of the candidates, and Trump’s abandonment of conservative positions on a host of issues should have convinced religious conservatives to resist the temptation to vote for the reality star. But it didn’t. Trump beat Cruz among evangelicals and every other conservative demographic.

This is a staggering blow to Cruz’s belief that he can win conservative states, like those in the south that will vote in the SEC super primary on March 1st. If Cruz can’t beat Rubio, let alone get anywhere close to Trump in South Carolina, how can he possibly do it elsewhere in the south? Perhaps, Cruz is counting on winning his home state of Texas, but even that is not a certainty.

Cruz’s assumption was that once other candidates that appealed to social conservatives like Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum dropped out, he could count on a united evangelical vote. But what Trump showed us in South Carolina is that there is no such thing as a united bloc of religious conservatives. Or even of Tea Party voters that should, in theory, also be flocking to Cruz. What’s killing Cruz is that a lot of people who ought not to be voting for someone with Trump’s record are doing so. Cruz is right that he is the principled conservative that represents the beliefs of these voters. But they are still voting for Trump.

South Carolina did give us one firm conclusion about the GOP race. By losing his base voters to Trump, Cruz seems to have no path to the nomination. That makes him, and not Bush, the big loser in South Carolina.

W Speaks, Red Translates

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George W. Bush hit the campaign trail for the first time since his overdue retirement in South Carolina.  He hopes to revive brother Jeb!!!!$$$$?’s flagging hopes to bring yet another Bush to the White House.  Apparently, the former President’s favorability ratings in the Palmetto State among Republicans are as high as 84%.  Which means those folks either have very short memories or really like a legacy of incompetence and failure.

As always, Red is there to translate for you.

Thank you South Carolina, Laura and I have very fond memories of our previous times campaigning in this State (because this state saved my bacon by buying into the lies that I told about John McCain – if you crackers were dumb enough to believe that BS then you just might be stupid enough to vote for my little brother Bush).

Americans  (mostly Tea Party backers) are angry (how did we let a darkie get elected twice) and frustrated (because Whitey is no longer King), but we do not need someone (and that would be anyone not named Bush) in the Oval Office who mirrors and inflames our frustrations (believe me I know all about frustration inflammation – my approval rating was about 20% at the end),” the former president said. “We need someone (a Bush, a Bush or a Bush) who can fix the problems (Dick Cheney is too damn old now) that cause our anger (read racial prejudice) and frustration (that Whitey thing again) and that’s Jeb Bush (did you think I was going to say Kasich?).”

Jeb is a man of deep and humble faith (dude better be humble because he makes me look like a freakin’ genius) that reveals itself through good works (making money trading on the ol’ family name), not loud words (or intelligible ones for that matter).  All of the sloganeering and all of the talk doesn’t matter if we don’t win (but we will spend all of the millions he has raised nonetheless because the Bush family is really a cottage industry when it comes to campaign consultants).

We’ve become tree farmers (finally something that’s really hard to screw up). It gives me some time to practice my stump speech (I made a funny, ha ha, get it?). I’ve been one to defy expectations (mostly because I was expected to do nothing more than trade on the family name, screw up, lose money and repeat – oh wait a minute, that kind of describes my presidency). I’ve been mis-underestimated most of my life (not really, as President I pretty much hit the mis-underestimated mark square on).”

Jeb!!!!$$$$? Throws Eminent Domain Stone

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Jeb!!!!$$$$? attacked Donald Trump at the latest GOP slugfest in New Hampshire for using eminent domain to take an elderly woman’s house in Atlantic City for a parking lot.  Trump, however, was a piker compared to Jeb!!!!$$$$?’s big brother W when it comes to enriching yourself through the power of ED mixed with excellent family connections.

W had pretty much been a failure at every possible enterprise until he stumbled into an ownership position of the Texas Rangers.  His $600,000 investment somehow turned into over $14 million allowing him the financial security to make his first run for Governor.  But exactly how did that happen.  First, through some slick political maneuvering, he and his partners (primarily business genius Richard Rainwater) persuaded Arlington and Texas to directly subsidize the construction of a new stadium for the Rangers.  That taxpayers should foot the bill to make a billionaire like Rainwater and his cronies even richer was offensive enough.  But it did not end there.  In order to build the magnificent temple of baseball, W and his fellow owners successfully used the power of government to take land from other private citizens so it could be used for their own private purposes.

The details are complicated, but here is what happened. W and his partners in the Rangers convinced Arlington officials to: pass a half-cent sales tax to pay for 70% of the stadium; use the government’s powers of eminent domain to seized land the Rangers either could not or would not buy in a fair market transaction; give the Rangers near complete control over the stadium and environs; and allow the Rangers to buy the $191 million stadium for just $60 million. After 12 years as the sole occupant and primary beneficiary of the stadium project, the Rangers, a privately owned business, will receive title to the stadium for the $60 million worth of rent and expenses that they will have already paid.  Has Trump ever put together a deal that lined his personal pockets at the expense of the taxpayer that compares to this one?  Red doubts it.

So poor old Jeb!!!!$$$$? picks exactly the wrong stone to throw at Trump – a stone that will likely bounce of the billionaire’s Teflon and crash right back into the Bush family’s glass house.  Someone that politically inept doesn’t deserve to be President.