Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 16

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” When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”  Hunter S Thompson

Which is why Red remains an amateur.

Red Rates himself – For week 15 3-3. For the season  49-35.  Respectable but not terribly exciting.

Your  Weird pick of the week.  Falcons over Panthers.  No particular reason for this except that Red picked the Falcons make the playoffs. Red sticks with his  picks  until he doesn’t.   Panthers have nothing to play for except perfect season and that usually doesn’t work out too well.  Atlanta 24 Carolina 20.

Your Professional pick of the week.  Bills over Cowboys. Does Red really have to explain this one? He didn’t think so.  Orchard Park 45 Arlington 6.

Your Gonzo Journalism pick of the week. Seahawks over Rams. When in doubt, a rare occurrence, Red will ask himself – What would HST do?  Red is pretty damn sure he would pick the Hawks to continue kicking ass and taking names.  Seattle 28 St. Louis 17.

Your Fear and Loathing pick of the week.  Titans over Texans. Can Texans handle success even in the modified limited hang-out way that occurs in the PEFAPFD that is the AFC South? Red doubts it. And certainly not with Brandon Weedhead at the helm. The POS champion of this division will not be decided until Week 17.  Tennessee 34 Houston 29.

Your Hells Angels pick of the week.  Raiders over someone.  Go Raiders.  Go to Southern California.  Oakland 103 Someone 0.

Your Shit Bowl pick of the Week. If you have seen this weeks schedule you know that it is Shit Bowl heaven.  Which is too much for Red to handle

 

 

 

 

 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 15

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“Americans have a lower opinion of Congress than they do of the NFL replacement refs, head lice, traffic jams, cockroaches and even the group to which yours truly belongs – Washington political pundits.”

Juan Williams

Juan left out Hitler, anyone whose name is preceded by Ayatollah, Stalin, Pol Pot, Mussolini and Jerry Jones.

Red Rates Himself – For week 14 Red was 3-3. For the season 46-32. Looks better in the rear-view mirror.

Your Traffic Jam Pick of the Week: Jets over Cowboys. Don’t expect much of a traffic jam on the way to the Cowboys game on Saturday. Even Cowboy fans can smell the rotting corpse of this season. Do expect a traffic jam among Jets defenders lining up to sack [Insert Cowboy Quarterback here]. The Jets minus 3. Are you kidding Red? Take the Jets and beat the traffic home from work. New Jersey 32 Arlington 12.

Your Head Lice Pick of the Week: Colts over Texans. Texans have never won in Indianapolis, so why not now? Because they still suck. Red was shocked at how badly Bill-O the Clown was outcoached by the Hoodie last week. What is with lining up against Brady with only one defensive lineman on the field? What is with playing Whitney Mercilus at nose tackle? What is with running the Wildcat without a Cat? What is with picking the Colts to do what they always do – no matter who is at the helm? Colts give up 2. Red gives up on Texans after this one. Take the under at 42.5.  Indianapolis 20 Houston 17.

Your Cockroach Pick of the Week: Dolphins over Chargers. What do cockroaches like? Shit!. The southern California roaches will be in Hog Heaven this weekend as the Shit Bowl rolls into town. Why did the Texans have to face the Dolphins when the bloom was still on the Dan Campbell rose? Since his first two games, the Dolphins have been in the running for almost every SB. This is their week!. Red would not believe exactly how pathetic the Chargers have become – except for the fact that whenever Red picks them to make the playoffs they suck. If Sadomasochism is your thing watch this one with a friend who will laugh when you grab the carrot peeler to start shaving your head in disgust at watching this fetid fecal fight – or vice versa. Curiously, Red likes the over at 45.    Miami 33 San Diego 25.

You’re Washington Political Pundit Pick of the Week: OTNA’s over Bills. Red hasn’t paid much attention to the OTNA’s from just outside the Beltway this season. Red also doesn’t watch NASCAR just to see the wrecks. And then suddenly, the OTNA’s are playing almost like a real professional football team. And Kirk Cousins is looking like a professional quarterback that you might actually want playing for your team. That is, if your team has Brian Hoyer, Jonathan Football, Matt Ryan or Ryan Tannehill at the helm. Meanwhile on the shores of Lake Erie, the Bills are not exactly dead yet. Almost, but not quite. They will be Sunday evening. All bets are off on this one.  Landover, Md. 27 Orchard Park 20.

Your Replacement Ref Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Ravens. Ravens are ravaged by injuries. Chiefs are on the hottest roll this side of Carolina over the last 7 weeks. Red keeps expecting Chiefs sans Jamaal Charles to return to Earth, but they keep on winning. Red cannot think of a single reason why that should not continue this week. And exactly who are the Ravens going to suit up at QB this week? Ryan Mallett? Red would pay to see that debacle. Kansas City 45 Baltimore 3.

You’re Low Self Esteem Pick of the Week: Eagles over Cardinals.   Red, you wonder, “Are you out of your fricking mind?” Well, Lenny, Yes. As a matter of fact, Red is. At the beginning of the season, he picked both of these teams to make the post-season and the Cardinals have not disappointed. But, Freddy, the Eagles are another story. Perhaps even a series of novels about a downtrodden gumshoe working the cheating wife circuit on the wrong side of the tracks. So Timmy, Red almost has to pick the Eagles since he is also picking the OTNA’s to win. That, Sammy, is how you box yourself in – in this game. And remember, Jimmy, the double time zone, inverse climate change, indoor/outdoor shift factor clearly all tilt in favor of the OTNA’s. So, Ricky, the Eagles will win – take it to the bank – just don’t cash it until Monday. And Chucky, take all your allowance money for the past 6 months and put it on the Eagles getting 3.5. Philadelphia 33 Arizona 26.

 

 

 

 

 

Today in Texas History – December 18

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From the Annals of the Comanche – In 1860, Cynthia Ann Parker was captured by a group of Texas Rangers under the command of Sul Ross.  The so-called Battle of the Pease River was actually an attack on a Comanche hunting camp at Mule Creek in Foard County.  The Rangers completely surprised the Comanche and most were slaughtered including women and children.  During the raid the rangers found Parker who had been kidnapped from Fort Parker by Comanche warriors on May 19, 1836.  Parker had no desire to be “rescued” as she was completely socialized as a Comanche with a war chief husband in Pete Nocona and three children – including Quanah and Topasannah (Prairie Flower).  Sul Ross did his best to glorify the battle including making the disputed claim that the famed warrior Nocona had been killed in the “battle.”  Quanah Parker claimed that his father was not killed at the Pease River, but died years later from his many war wounds.  Hiram B. Rogers, a Ranger who joined the Ross command in October 1860, said, “I was in the Pease River fight, but I am not very proud of it. That was not a battle at all, but just a killing of squaws.”

Was He Lying Then or is He Lying Now?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) is now facing his own problem on immigration and it does not stem from his sometimes questioned Constitutional qualification to hold the highest office in the land.  Rather, Cruz’s position on a path to legalization for undocumented aliens has undergone a rather dramatic shift.  When the so-called Gang of Eight bill was up in the Senate, Cruz offered an amendment that would have created a method for those currently in the US illegally to achieve permanent resident status – if not actual citizenship.  Cruz now claims that it was a “poison pill” amendment intended to sabotage the bill.  But what did Cruz say back then.  Let’s here from the good Senator himself on the Senate floor – May 21, 2013.

They [undocumented aliens] would still be eligible for legal status and indeed, under the terms of the bill, they would be eligible for LPR [Lawful Permanent Resident] status as well so that they are out of the shadows, which the proponents of this bill repeatedly point to as their principal objective, to provide a legal status for those who are here illegally to be out of the shadows. This amendment would allow that to happen, but what it would do is remove the pathway to citizenship so that there are real consequences that respect the rule of law and that treat legal immigrants with the fairness and respect they deserve.

And a second point to those advocacy groups that are so passionately engaged. In my view if this committee rejects this amendment —  and I think everyone here views it is quite likely this committee will choose to reject this amendment —  in my view that decision will make it much much more likely that this entire bill will fail in the House of Representatives. I don’t want immigration reform to fail. I want immigration reform to pass. And so I would urge people of good faith on both sides of the aisle if the objective is to pass common sense immigration reform that secures the borders, that improves legal immigration and that allows those who are here illegally to come in out of the shadows, then we should look for areas of bipartisan agreement and compromise to come together. And this amendment, I believe if this amendment were to pass, the chances of this bill passing into law would increase dramatically. And so I would urge the committee to give it full consideration and to adopt the amendment.

Now I would suggest to all of those who passionately want to see this program fixed, that saying it’s all-or-nothing if there’s no path to citizenship, quote, there is no reform, tying immigration reform hostage to a path to citizenship is not a strategy to pass a bill. It’s a strategy to create partisan division. It’s a strategy that may well result in more political battles. But it’s not a strategy to fix the problem and so I would urge everyone on this committee to roll up our sleeves and fix the problem in a humane way that secures the border, gets serious about fixing that problem, that expands and improves legal immigration and that does not unfairly treat legal immigrants by removing a path to citizenship but allowing as this legislation does a legal status for those who are here illegally. That would be reform that a great many people across this country, both Republican and Democrat, would embrace and I would urge the committee to consider the amendment.

So Ted told us, that he “wants immigration reform to pass,” that he was in favor of “common-sense immigration reform,” that he “wanted to fix the problem in a humane way,” and that he was in favor of “legal status for those who are here illegally.” But really  folks, he was just joshing, pulling our leg, he didn’t really mean it, he wasn’t sincere, just doing his act.  His website now says nothing about such measures and instead is a laundry list of options to deal with undocumented aliens as harshly as possible.

So as the old joke goes, “How can you tell when Ted Cruz is lying?”  His lips are moving.

 

 

Does Ted Cruz Lack Coattails?

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GOP leaders are growing increasingly alarmed at the prospect of a Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) dcandidacy.  Many wonder whether the Texas firebrand’s extreme positions and rhetoric (not to mention his abrasive personality) will turn off independents.  If he is the nominee, concern is growing  that his lack of down ballot pull will endanger the GOP majority in the House.  Meanwhile, Democrats are enthused by the prospect. The Texas Tribune has more.

Some Democrats in Washington, D.C., are floating the idea that Ted Cruz could be as injurious to the GOP’s hopes of holding its majority in the U.S. House as the bombastic Donald Trump.

And, as the Tribune’s Abby Livingston reports, some Republicans give some credence to the argument. Former Virginia Republican Congressman Tom Davis said Cruz, as his party’s nominee, could harm candidates in the Northeast and Midwest while potentially helping candidates in the western states.

“I think it has to play out, but there is nervousness with Cruz, who is clearly not part of the establishment, that you don’t find with [Marco] Rubio or [Jeb] Bush or [John] Kasich in some of those districts,” Davis told the Tribune.

“Campaign operatives from both parties point to the 26 GOP-held seats that are in districts where Obama won a majority of the 2012 popular vote,” Livingston writes. “The Republican fear — and Democratic hope — is that Cruz falls short of 2012 GOP nominee Mitt Romney‘s performance and throws those seats into contention.”

For its part, the Cruz camp discounts such talk. “The way Cruz wins the election is by energizing Republicans and then making the argument to independents and even Democrats for how his conservative principles are what will provide real opportunity and improve their lives,” Cruz spokeswoman Catherine Frazier said in an email to the Tribune.

Red files that last comment from the Cruz camp in the “Wet Dreams” folder.  But he is also wary of the Dems thinking that a Cruz nomination will benefit them.  Never underestimate the power of a complete and total ideologue in a polarized voting public.

 

Quote for the Day

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“Hands off the threads, Creep!”

Frank Sinatra.  Said to Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn (D-Texas) at the 1956 Democratic National Convention.  Rayburn approached Sinatra after his performance before the delegates and apparently was a bit too friendly for Frank.  So Frank called the second most powerful man in the U.S. at the time a “creep.”

Today in Texas History – December 17

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From the Annals of the Astrodome –  In 1965,  Judy Garland became the first artist to perform at the Astrodome. The Supremes were the opening act.  Garland was paid $43,000 for the show and tickets were priced from $1.00 to $7.50. At the time the Eighth Wonder of the World seated 48,000, but another 12,000 seats were added for Garland’s show. Garland appeared on stage at 10 p.m. and sang for 40 minutes, with her set of songs including: “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands”; “Just In Time”; “My Kind Of Town, [Houston] Is”; “Houston”; “As Long As He Needs Me”; “Joey, Joey, Joey”; “Do It Again”; “What Now My Love?”; “By Myself”; “Rock-A-Bye Your Baby”; “San Francisco”; “Chicago”; and “Over The Rainbow.”

The Candidates are Set

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Charles Kuffner at Off the Kuff does his usual excellent job of detailing the candidates for the Democratic and Republican primaries in March – so Red doesn’t have to.

Red’s only beef is CK’s snark about Jim Sharp.  JS has had some issues off the court – as they say – but as a judge he did an admirable job of balancing the competing interests and reaching well-reasoned and fair results.  Especially as the only Democrat among the 18 court of appeals judges sitting in Houston.  He must have sympathized with George Goebel when he said, “Did you ever feel like the world is a tuxedo and you’re a pair of brown shoes?”

Today in Texas History – December 16

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From the Annals of the Civil War – In 1863, Confederate colonel Sul Ross assumed command of a brigade formed from the Third, Sixth, Ninth, and Twenty-seventh Texas Cavalry regiments which afterwards was known as Ross’s Brigade. Lawrence Sullivan Ross came to Texas at the age of one in 1839. He followed in his father, Shapley Ross’s footsteps and became an Indian fighter serving in campaigns with the Texas Rangers against the Comanches in 1858 and 1860.   When the Civil War began, he  joined Confederate forces and rose to command the Sixth Texas Cavalry. He was promoted to the rank of general soon after taking command of Ross’s Brigade.  The unit saw action in Atlanta and Franklin-Nashville campaigns.  Ross was on furlough in Texas when the brigade surrendered at the end of the war.  Ross was later elected to the Texas senate and served as Governor for 4 years.