Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

GOP Debate – Round ?

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Last night’s GOP debate in Las Vegas focused largely on issues of national security – not a surprise with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer at the helm.

Red’s favorite topic was when WB asked the estimable candidates about enforcing a No-Fly Zone in Syria and whether they would order a Russian plane shot down.  As always, Red translates the responses for you.

Chris Christie –  Hell yes, I would shoot down a Russian plane. I call Putin and tell him, “No flying, fuckhead.” And then when he ignores that we shoot.  And unlike the other weenies on this stage, I would insist on shooting down the planes myself – you know because I was a tough ass New Jersey prosecutor.  How does that work?   Every time a Russian jet entered the NFZ, I would be on the line immediately, targeting that sucker, remotely pushing the button to launch the missile and then celebrating afterwards with a double-meat bacon cheeseburger.  Fuck Yeah!

Rand Paul – If you want World War III, here’s your candidate. [Pointing to Christie]  If you are not absolutely bat shit crazy – like most of the respected candidates on this stage – and would prefer a big wussy in the White House, look no further.  I am the biggest wussy on this stage and proud of it.

Jeb!!!!????$ –  I have called for the NFZ and I would shoot down a plane with my sainted mother in it if it was violating the NFZ. Sorry, Dad.

Donald Trump – I too would shoot down a plane with  Jeb!!!!$$$$?’s mother in it.   But I like Putin bombing the shit out of Syria.  I back it 100%.  I would back it 1000% if that were possible, and believe me percentages well in excess of 100 will be the norm when I am elected president.  100% will be old hat.  No one will be talking about 100% when I am President.  500% will be the absolute minimum.

Ben Carson –  We shoot down Russian planes absolutely.  Then afterwards, I deal with the possibility of nuclear conflagration in my thoughtful, deliberate and respectful way as we descend into chaos and world war.

John Kasich – Why are you asking this question?  Why am I even still here? Is Red spelling my name correctly?

Ted Cruz – After I finish carpet bombing Syria and explaining in excruciating detail why that is not a war crime, there will be no real need for a NFZ.  In fact tourist groups will want to fly over Syria to see the glowing sand.

Carly Fiorina –  I would insist on a NFZ and shoot down anything that flies.  But I would not call Putin first – who by the way I talked with earlier today.  Others on this stage talk about making America great again.  But what is their plan?  I have a plan.  You know what would make this country great again – World War III.  I promise you that we will have WWIII if I am elected president.

Marco Rubio – Thank god we are not talking about immigration.

 

 

Adele!

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Adele is coming to Texas.

  • November 1 – American Airlines Center Dallas, TX
  • November 2 – American Airlines Center Dallas, TX
  • November 4 – Frank Erwin Center Austin, TX
  • November 5 – Frank Erwin Center Austin, TX
  • November 8 – Toyota Center Houston, TX
  • November 9 – Toyota Center Houston, TX

Tickets go on sale this Thursday.

Now Red is not much of a pop music – arena concert fan, but he would go see Adele.

Today in Texas History – December 14

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From the Annals of the Capital City –  In 1840, Moses Johnson was elected mayor of Austin.  Johnson, a medical doctor, had moved to Texas in the late 1830s.  He practiced medicine and surgery in Harrisburg and Liberty counties until moving to Austin in 1840, where he was quickly elected alderman and later mayor and also appointed justice of the peace. He was a Mason and served as the grand marshal of the Grand Lodge of Texas in 1844. On December 14, 1844, he was appointed treasurer of the republic by Pres. Anson Jones.  In April 1846 he was a member of a Democratic committee that marked the beginnings of  Texas Democratic party.  In 1848,  Johnson was appointed inspector and collector of revenue for the port of Lavaca.

“I Fart in Your General Direction”

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The counter protest to the Mock Mass Shooting staged across from UT-Austin seems to have drawn more interest than the main event.   Time has the poop.

About 100 people with flatulence noise makers marched against a mock mass shooting Saturday at the University of Texas to divert attention away from pro-gun demonstrators.

The group took to the streets of Austin with machines that make fart sounds in their counter “mass farting” protest, the Houston Chronicle reports. Their march was in response to guns rights groups’ plans to stage a fake mass shooting at the school, complete with fake blood.

“This is about a choice between fear and a little bit of good humor,” organizer and UT alumnus Andrew Dobbs told the crowd, according to the Chronicle. “We are in a scary time right now and lots of scary things are happening and some people want us to be more afraid.”

Old Uncle Fear, the best weapon that the right-wing has in this country.

 

Red Clearly Isn’t Paying Close Enough Attention

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When did Scab Danny White become the color man for Cowboys’ radio broadcasts?  Red rarely listens to a Cowboys broadcast but was in the car today and wondered who the pathetic excuse for a color commentator was – only to be surprised that it was Danny White – the one man primarily responsible for Red having giving up his 25 year love affair with the Cowboys.

Today in Texas History – December 13

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From the Annals of Higher Education – In 1930, J. Frank Norris, Baptist pastor and editor of The Fundamentalist, denounced Professor Joseph Leo Duflot of West Texas State Teachers College (now West Texas A&M University) at a rally in the courthouse square in Canyon.  Norris attacked  Duflot. the chairman of the sociology department, for teaching evolution and for his “modernist” philosophy. Duflot had already been dismissed by the First Presbyterian Church of Canyon in 1921 for attempting to reconcile evolution with the biblical account of creation and questioning the complete veracity of the Bible. Norris had invited Duflot to a debate on December 12.  Duflot cordially declined and instead played golf that day. At the rally Norris condemned Duflot as “an orangutang, God-denying, Bible-destroying, evolutionist professor” and called for him to be fired by the College.  In reaction, the board of regents conducted a hearing into the issue, but Duflot emerged unscathed and continued to teach until he retired in 1955.  Norris was a notorious scumbag who was charged with arson and murder (escaping conviction each time) and an ardent racist who supported the Ku Klux Klan – but all that is for another day.  The nine-iron is mightier than the demagogue.

Greg Abbott Wastes More of Your Money

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Texas will be forking over more than $2.7 million to draw in WrestleMania next year.  This absurd waste of taxpayer dollars stands in direct contrast to Abbott’s campaign pledge regarding the use of such funds. Apparently, that notion flew out the window once Abbott got his hands on Events Trust Fund.  The Texas Tribune has the full story.

Gov. Greg Abbott has agreed to spend up to $2.7 million in taxpayer funds to bring the barrage of blood, sweat and spandex that is WrestleMania to Texas next year.

During his 2014 campaign for governor, Abbott expressed discomfort with such taxpayer-funded economic incentives, saying he wanted to get government “out of the business of picking winners and losers.” 

But last week, his office signed off on the award from the state’s Events Trust Fund, state records show, one of 20 such awards approved since September. That’s when the governor’s office took the reins of a few incentive programs designed to strengthen Texas’ hand in vying for large sporting events and conferences from the state comptroller’s office.

Today in Texas History – December 11

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From the Annals of the Indian Conflicts – In 1737, Cabellos Colorados, a Lipan Apache chief, was captured by Spanish forces.  The Spanish established a settlement in San Antonio in 1718 which the Apaches viewed as an easy target for raids against the European invaders.  Not much is known about Cabellos Colorados.  He does appear in Spanish records which comment on his raids.  One known raid on San Antonio occurred in 1731, and in 1734 his band seized two citizens in a raid. He also stole horses from San Francisco de la Espada Mission and killed Indians from the missions of San Juan Capistrano and Nuestra Señora de la Purísima Concepción de Acuña. After numerous raids in 1736 and 1737, he was captured and imprisoned at Bexar until October of 1738 when he was sent as a prisoner to Mexico.

Quote for the Day

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“You don’t have to be popular with other senators, but you need to be respected by other senators if you have what it takes to be President of the United States . . . I mean, Barack Obama wasn’t popular with all the other senators, but he was respected . . . I don’t think Ted [Cruz] has the respect of his fellow senators.”

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D- Mo.)

At lunch today, someone told Red that several months ago, Sen. John Cornyn asked a local GOP power broker (the source of the story) if there was something he could do to get rid of Cruz.

Today in Texas History – December 10

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From the Annals of the Big Ranches – In 1879, the New York and Texas Land Company was formed.  New Yorkers, John S. Kennedy, Samuel Thorne, and William Walter Phelps purchased all of the land owned by the consolidated International-Great Northern Railroad Company to form the NYTLC.   The company ultimately owned over  5.5 million acres – one of the largest privately financed land companies to operate in post-Civil War Texas. The holdings extended into fifty-one counties in the Panhandle. Under the guidance of T. D. Hobart, the NYTLC began an extensive development program of fencing, well drilling, windmill building, and water impoundment. By 1900 most of the Panhandle lands had been developed and sold.  Many of the largest ranches in Texas were carved out from the NYTLC holdings. The company was dissolved in 1918.