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Individual 1 Speaks – Red Translates

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Individual 1 aka Trumph – the Insult Comic President is pulling our troops out of Syria against the advice of – well, everyone except Vlad Putin and Tayyip Erdogan.  This will leave our Kurdish allies who have really carried the fight against ISIS in Syria to the tender mercies of the Turks who consider them to be a terrorist group.  But Individual 1 desperately needs to change the news cycle for a few days so what does it matter if a whole bunch of Kurds get slaughtered.  So Red has taken the time to translate Individual 1’s thinking on the matter.  You’re welcome.

We (that means me of course) have won (remember I promised lots of winning) against ISIS. We’ve (me again) beaten them (no one believes this other than me – but you know “fake news” and all) and we’ve beaten them badly (or bigly if you prefer). We’ve taken back the land (now available for development – are you listening all you Russians needing to launder money) and now it’s time for our troops to come back home (where I can ignore them in safety and comfort). I get very saddened (it’s all about me after all and my sadness which is a great sadness of course) when I have to write letters (they stopped letting me actually write letters because I kept misspelling “deer” – or so they say) or call parents or wives or husbands of soldiers who have been killed fighting for our country (really me again).

Today in Texas History – December 17

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From the Annals of PTSD –  In 1883, Col. Ranald Slidell Mackenzie, a veteran U.S. Army Cavalry officer, was diagnosed as suffering from “paralysis of the insane.”  Mackenzie was from New York and graduated first in his class from West Point in 1862.  He served with great distinction in the Union cavalry during the Civil War, ending the conflict as a brevet major general.  After the war he was stationed in Texas at various times in command of the Fourth United States Cavalry.  He was largely forgotten to history until publication of Empire of the Summer Moon: Quanah Parker and the Rise and Fall of the Comanches, the Most Powerful Indian Tribe in American History by S. C. Gwynne.   Gwynne’s book focused on the Comanches but also told the story of Mackenzie who was almost single-handedly responsible for bringing an end to the Comanches reign of terror over the vast expanse of territory in which their warriors operated.  Mackenzie is best known for his victory against the Comanches at Palo Duro Canyon and for the extralegal Remolino raid into Mexico in pursuit of Kickapoo raiders.  But is was his incredible determination that finally put an end to the Comanches’ raids. Mackenzie had planned to marry and to retire near Boerne, Texas.  However, it seems likely that he suffered from severe undiagnosed PTSD and he was committed to a New York asylum in 1884.  He died on Staten Island in 1889.

Red’s NFL Picks 2018 – Week 16

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Red was 4-3 last week and made a mistake in picking an extra game.  F#(%ing Cowboys! That puts Red at 36-40 for the season with only two weeks to pull some smelly scabrous mascot out of the hat.  As noted, Red has not been picking against the line this season and maybe that was a mistake as his work might have had some redeeming value.  As it stands, not so much.

Your Game of the Week Game of the Week – Stealers over Saints.  The Stealers found new life in survival against the Patriots last week.  That sort of hard fought win can propel a team into a desperately needed season-closing win streak or just be a dead cat bounce.  The Stealers offensive line is capable of taking over a game on a good week.  They do it on the Bayou this week and enjoy playing in the controlled environment for a change.  Make no mistake, the Saints may be the best team in the NFL right now – but even the best can be beat.  Pittsburgh 29 New Orleans 28.

Your National TV Game of the Week – Chiefs over Seahawks.  Yes, Red has prominently featured the Chiefs all season, but no team has played in more interesting games than the boys from the great plains.  This week is no exception.  The Seahawks need a win to keep pace in a jumbled NFC wild card race.  The Chiefs have clinched a playoff spot but need a win to keep pace with the hard-charging Chargers (sorry but it’s true).  Both teams need wins, both teams can win, both teams can lose.  Red is really on a triteness roll this morning.  Enough!  Watch this game.  Kansas City 41 Seattle 37.

Your Texas Game of the Week –  Eagles over Texans.  The Texans are just not playing very well right now.  It took a ridiculous number of field goals for them to dispatch the Jets – who don’t completely suck thanks to Mr. Darnold.  While watching the game, Mrs. Red exclaimed, “Is his name really Darn Old?”  Yep, he’s that darn old quarterback.  This week they face the resurgent Eagles with “big ass chip on his shoulder still” Nick Foles at the helm.  Nick has big money to play for.  He makes big time plays this week.  Philadelphia 25 Houston 21.

Your Disappointing Game of the Week – Bears over 49ers.  It seems that no team can stop  the mighty Bears right now – certainly not the smoking ruins of the 49ers once glorious franchise.  The only issue might be a slight hangover after having rolled and smoked the hated rival Packers last week.  It’s not enough but might make this one a bit closer than otherwise expected.  Chicago 20 Santa Clara 16.

Your Time Zone Hex Game of the Week – Chargers over Ravens.  The time zone hex has been a particularly poor indicator this season.  Red is left to wonder if the best days of the hex have been eviscerated by better front office planning and easier in-week workouts.   The Chargers do not need the hex factor to dispatch a mediocre Ravens team travelling on one of the 4-5 longest road trips possible in the NFL (Red believes Seattle-Miami takes the top spot but Boston- LA may not be far behind).  Chargers cost Red a shot at a much needed fantasy football championship last week by going for the win instead of taking the game to OT.  But he cannot fault balls.  No balls really needed this week – other than the oblate spheroid.   Los Angeles 45 Baltimore 22.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – Broncos over Raiders.  My how the mighty have fallen.  These are two teams that could have been somebody in recent seasons, instead of a bum which is what they are (with apologies to Marlon Brando).  But with a combined 19 losses between them they are both deserving of placement in the penultimate Shit Bowl.  Red kind of likes Case Keenum despite his having played at POS UH.  And after last season, it looked like a big mistake for the Texans to have let this guy get away.  Now, not so much.  15 TDs against 12 INTs and 32 sacks is not a prescription for success.  Throw in his 8 fumbles (of which miraculously only one has been lost) and you have about 4 semi-disastrous plays per game without much to offset it.  The overall lack of talent is clearly not his fault, but great QBs make those around them play better and that has not happened here.  As for the Raiders, the less said the better as they skulk their way out of Oakland for the second time in franchise history leaving the emaciated ghost of Dead Al Davis to wander for all eternity croaking “Just win baby” in a voice that can only be heard when the wind blows in from Mantica.  Denver 17 Oakland 3.

 

Tarrant County GOP Wants to Oust County Vice-Chairman Because – Wait for it – He’s a Muslim!

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The Tarrant County Republican Party will be voting on whether to oust current Vice-Chairman Shahid Shafi.  Shafi, a Southlake City Councilman, was appointed vice chairman of the TCRP in July.  Within days, numerous precinct chairs began urging Darl Easton, chairman of the TCRP, to “reconsider” the appointment.  The only reason given – Shafi is a Muslim.  The precinct chair that kicked off the campaign to oust Shafi, Dorrie O’Brien, and others have formally moved to remove Shafi as vice chairman because of his religion stating that one cannot be a Muslim and a Republican.  The TCRP will vote on the motion on January 10.   The move is opposed by many GOP leaders in Texas.  But in ultra-conservative Tarrant County – the last big city bastion of the GOP – there is a possibility that a person could be excluded from office based on nothing more than religious bigotry.

Following the lead of Individual 1 and with a complete lack of evidence, O’Brien has claimed that Shafi promotes Sharia law and is affiliated with terrorist groups apparently because he attends his local mosque.   O’Brien’s Facebook posts accuse Shafi of being a “fake Republican” who has infiltrated the party at the urging of the Muslim Brotherhood.  Actual facts and evidence are meaningless in the Age of Individual 1. All that matters is the ability to foist your alternate reality on a gullible minority.

 

Today in Texas History – December 14

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From the Annals of Medicine – In 1837, the Congress of the Republic of Texas established the Board of Medical Censors and authorized it to grant licenses to practice medicine and surgery in the republic.  The BMC was composed of one physician from each senatorial district who were graduates of medicine and surgery from accredited colleges and universities.  Prospective physicians had to pass a test and pay a $20 license fee.  Unlicensed physicians were prohibited from collected unpaid fees in Texas courts. The board was to meet once each year but that proved difficult in frontier Texas.  The BMC was disbanded upon statehood and the function is now performed by the Board of Medical Examiners.

Today in Texas History – December 13

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72466: Cabinet Card of Commodore Edwin Ward Moore : Lot 72466

From the Annals of “Gunboat” Diplomacy –   In 1841, a flotilla of three ships from the Navy of the Republic of Texas left Galveston  to provide support for the province of Yucatán in its rebellion against Mexico. Edwin Ward Moore was the commander-in-chief of the Texas Navy.  Moore had earlier sailed along the Mexican coast in a failed attempt to speed up peace negotiations between the Republic of Texas and  Mexico.  Moore returned to Texas and President Mirabeau B. Lamar signed a treaty with the Mexican state of  Yucatan to lease of the Texas navy for $8,000 per month and to protect their ports from being a Mexican Navy blockade.  Moore’s ships joined the small fleet of the State of Yucatan under the command of former Texas Navy officer Captain James D. Boylan.

The Yucatan rebellion (also known as the Caste War of Yucatan) itself is an interesting and rarely mentioned part of Mexican history.  The indigenous Mayans more or less held control of large parts of the Yucatan peninsula for more than 50 years despite numerous efforts by Mexico to assert control.  

Today in Texas History – December 12

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From the Annals of the Supreme Court –   In 2000, the United States Supreme Court issued its opinion in Bush v. Gore, holding that the use of different standards of counting in different counties violated the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution and that no alternative method could be established within the time limit under federal law to determine controversies as to appointment of electors – which was the same day. The Court voted 7-2 on the violation of the Equal Protection Clause with a proviso that it was more or less a one-time only decision.  However, the Court was split 5–4 as to whether an alternate recount method was feasible. The widely-criticized decision had the effect of awarding all of Florida’s electoral college votes to Texas Gov. George W. Bush which gave him a total of 271 or one more than needed.  U.S. Vice President Al Gore conceded the election the next day.

Bush’s presidency proved disastrous on several counts with Bush leading the U.S. into the war in Iraq on spurious grounds, the inability to conclude the war in Afghanistan, and the near complete financial collapse of 2008.